Tag: Married at First Sight

Married at First Sight – week 3

MAFS screens at 7pm Sunday on Nine.


If you have missed it thus far, like me, due to the reality TV overload, you can catch up online. Channel 9 has five-minute recaps of each ep, so you can sort your strippers from your bogans. Watch here.



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Married at First Sight – week 2

Episode 4 of MAFS screens tonight from 7pm-8.30pm. Over to MAFS correspondent, Daisy (thank you!):
Hi ttv gang and MAFS fans. This isn’t a recap but a review of events so far and preamble header for this week’s shows.
So according to our not-so-experts, there are 4.3 million Aussies looking for love. Dating these days is hard so in come tv producers to create a range of reality shows to help Adams and Eve’s locate each other. And provide voyeuristic entertainment for us.

With their credibility shot, the sexperts put on brave, knowledgeable faces and press on for whatever pittance and infamy the show provides them to pretend they are using science to match lovers. I think they have one or two successes so far, so less than random chance maybe.
But to the cast; I will skim and try to recall names. My opinions are my own. Readers may have very different likes and dislikes. I will only mention my highs and lows; starting with Cheryl. Cheryl thinks people judge her on her looks. I suspect they might judge her on her inflated sense of her own gorgeousness. It looks like she has been Daddy’s darling. She was quite rude. Her partner, the peacock entrepeneur, might find her favourite position is ‘centre of attention’. Cheryl reminds me of spoilt Sharon from Kath and Kim.

Interrupt the sexperts with vital information: it takes 7 seconds to form a first impression”. Der.

Also matched up was a farmer from QLD with a down to earth fifo from Western Australia. They were both thrilled with each other. No ravers, they thought each other beautiful, and that’s all that matters. They were nice enough. Michael the stripper is happy that his blonde is fit, “has nice hair” and small ears, and she thinks he is good looking, but he is hiding the truth of his work. Will that fly with blondie and her mum. I am also seeing a problem because a perfectionist male isn’t going to be happy with a girl who leaves her cups out gor her mum to pick up and wash. Also this is where Michael needs to check out the mother to see his wife in twenty years. How rude was Mummy bagging out the groom to his rellies!
The pool for wannabe rtv romantic hopefuls must be quite good because I think the producers found some good, if not gorgeous ones. Lebanese Alene is sweet but isn’t feeling the chemistry with Simon. Simon is giving it his best shot though. He used humour to win over his bride and her family.


Talkative Italian girl Vanessa is quite delightful but will Mark’s shyness be too much. With Vanessa, Mark would get a fabulous family. I loved Vanessa’s adorable dad and the bridesmaid’s dresses. Vanessa and (don’t put too much make-up on me so he knows what I look like) Alene are two of my favourite brides.


I nearly forgot the girl who did modelling and her hubby that was the horse race caller. He seemed nice, but she seemed to have a bit of a stick up her botty. She might come good if he can get that out. She refused to kiss him for the photos, whereas panning back to Cheryl, she just complained at the kissing.

Anyhoo viewers, we have been introduced to lots of couples this year, so who do you like, dislike and who will make it into the MAFS hall of flame with Zoe and Alex and produce little mafs babies? And will we have our first wife swap. I think Cheryl could go with Michael the stripper. And who will be the Runaway bride…..?



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Married at First Sight 2017 premiere

There’s a new batch of brides and grooms on Nine tonight, from 7.30-9.05pm. If you decided to watch MKR instead, Married At First Sight is repeated on 9Life at 10.30pm and the following day on Nine at 1.15pm.
It’s screening on Tuesday and Wednesday, too, so will go head-to-head with MKR in the ratings battle. The MKR juggernaut will win but MAFS has proven itself capable of drawing a decent audience – and the ad revenue that goes with it.



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Married at First Sight new promo

Not long to go now … MAFS screens Monday, January 30 on Nine. Surely the “runaway bride” just ducks out the back of the venue for a quick ciggie and then returns to walk down the aisle?



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Married at First Sight airdate

Married at First Sight starts Sunday, January 30, so Nine has programmed it to go up against Seven’s MKR juggernaut. And with I’m A Celeb expected to air at the same time, it’s a crowded calendar for reality TV watching


This year we have twins “marrying” one bloke and a middle-aged fellow for some token diversity.



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Married at First Sight starts Monday

Married at First Sight is back on Monday, 8.40pm on Nine. This will have to be a catch-up one for me, due to the Survivor clash.


Here are the contestants – have fun guessing who goes with who.
contest1
contest2



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Married at First Sight – Finale

So Nine has pushed MAFS out of the Monday and Tuesday timeslot (where it was a ring in for a flailing Reno Rumble) to go up against the House Rules premiere on Wednesday. Oh, and we’re at the finale already!
Let’s see how it pans out for them – Nine needs a win after a string of ratings duds this year. And Seven will miss the MKR juggernaut, which has been watched by about 1.4 million people each episode.


Chat away – what do you think the “surprise announcement” is?

Over to Daisy for another great recap:
The big finale tonight has us hoping that love might survive the massive obstacles that the sexperts somehow missed; like living in different states and wanting completely different lifestyles, like wanting a family versus not wanting kids, like wanting to spend quality time together versus wanting to make love to the mirror, and like wanting to fix a man and put a dog collar and pink cravat on him versus not wanting to be someone’s project.

Tonight the remaining three couples spend their last day and night together before splitting to reflect on their relationship. And we kick off, literally, with Simone and Xavier. Having considered Simone’s request for a little affection and some quality time, Xavier decides to look after number one and take Simone to HIS favourite thing; a football game. Anyone recalling the Dirty Street Pie fiasco? But kudos to Simone, she steps up and gets into the game. Now if only Xavier can lift HIS game. Simone, ditch this selfish narcissist. If it’s a chore to spend quality time together in weeks 1-4, forget spending a lifetime together. Xavier eventually does something a bit nice for Simone and buys pizza, then gives himself an A+ for romance and effort.

Thoughtful Mark on the other hand, is still treating Christie like a queen. That’s how it’s done Xavier. Mark’s magic is working on Christie. They are frollicking on the farm, and bonding. Meanwhile Erin and Bryce’s domestic harmony continues with some help from Betty Crocker. Yes, Erin, you can make a cake without an electric mixer…… or mobile phone. Anyhow, in good yuppy form, the love bunnies end up eating at a local restaurant instead.

About now we get some blah, blah, blah from the sexperts, just to remind us that this is a serious, bona fide, social experiment and that our couples are actually lab rats. Or love rats. Or lab, love rats. Each couple has their hurdle to overcome and we are in suspense….will they or won’t they? It’s kind of cruel really, to put couples together to attach, knowing that each have huge obstacles to making it work. I am guessing they all had questionnaires to complete with important questions such as, “Do you want kids?”

Couples return to face the inqusition from the panel of sexperts, who just seem like silly, pompous know-alls. Xavier is first cab off the rank and I am expecting him to say he is nervous, but no, he is quietly confident. Afterall, what woman could resist. I am closely watching, and Simone’s body language is not telling me we have a match. It’s a bit sad to watch Xavier’s face fall as Simone diplomatically explains that she doesn’t consider him ready to share his life, or the mirror. But this is good for Xavier because now he might learn to be less selfish and cocky.

Next Bryce and Erin step up to the plate. Erin is so nervous she breaks out in red blotches so she looks like a red and white dalmation. But not to worry; loving Bryce is willing to overlook the kids issue and keep his little cuddle bunny. His mum might not be thrilled. Then Christie and Mark wrestle with the head over heart decision of relocating for love. Again it looks like the sexperts got it so wrong, but Mark is willing to sacrifice Green Acres for love in the Big Smoke. So it looks like Happily Ever After for two of our couples……..or is it…….?

Two months later, we see Erin has gone back to buying shoes, texting and partying, but she got to keep agreeable, compliant, nurturing Bryce, so it seems she can have it all. I see an rtv show for Erin, “Baby Grows Up”, where 20 somethings learn to become grown-ups. Erin says she is cooking now with a kitchen aid. I think she means her mum moved in. Erin is finally coming around to the idea of having kids……and botox by 31. 😒 I think Erin’s best quality is her cheeky, and at times self-effacing funny sense of humour. At the start she seemed like a diva, but at the end, she was a darling.

Xavier has healed and has learned not to treat women like crap. Only women with really low self-esteem take crumbs, Xavier. Simone has recovered too, and is doing brunch in an affluent part of town with her affluent looking girl friends. Simone will be alright. She’s stunning, domesticated and seems nice.

Clare and Jono make a reappearance to tell viewers how they feel two months down the track. Clare is back with Fugly and Pugsly and they have adopted Lurch. Jono confides that he felt like more of one of Clare’s rescue dogs than a boyfriend. Clare denies it but hides the man size dog collar and pink cravat she had especially made for him. Clare is getting all her boyfriends from the pound from now on. In fact she has started dating the local dog ranger. Jono regrets nothing and is still looking for love and someone to decorate his very barren apartment.

To finish on a high note, the producers save Christie and Mark for last. They are still an item, still frollicking on the farm and chasing chooks, but Mark is willing to give it all up for love and head to the city to wear suits, sell vacuum cleaners or insurance and sire lots of babies for Nanna and Pop.
And now that we all believe in true love everlasting, tv programmers have offered us up The Notebook. Or the cynics among us can go google to see who has broken up already. Thankyou fellow MAFS viewers for reading my recaps and sharing your insights. Adios, goodnight and don’t let the love bug bite.



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Married at First Sight – Mon, Week 3

Many thanks to our MAFS correspondent, Daisy, for her recap:

Tonight the newlyweds meet together at a dinner party and it’s as pleasant was watching Clockwork Orange or Pet Cemetry. Clare and Jono are already divorced, with Clare getting custody of the kids, uncontested. Thankfully Fugly has been spared any more appearances. As Dr Phil says, “You don’t involve the children in adult issues”. Jono tells his mates, Dazza and Guzza, that Clare wasn’t what he ordered, which sounds cold but to be fair, if you told a dating agency you wanted an Amish virgin and they gave you a lap dancer, you might say the same thing. Anyhow, Guzza points out to Jono, “Maybe you’re not what she ordered”, and I suspect he isn’t.

Couples prepare to meet and possibly outdo each other in the loved-up couple contest. Bryce gets excited by imagining little Erin in his grandmothers undies. And Erin wonders why animals always start copulating whenever she walks by. Maybe it’s because she says, “F*ck. F*ck”. Erin is endearing herself to Bryce, me and viewers with her goofy comments. Bob, I think it was Bob, got Erin right. I am liking her. Hands up if it was you who called it first, Bob.

Couples get comfy in their assigned overnight accomodation. Erin and Bryce get the Bat Cave and immediately start checking out the freebies. Kristy and Mark get a beautiful treehouse with views of the lovely Auusie bush. Kristy is all smiles, kisses and cuddles now, which is much more attractive on her than a scowl. Kristy and Mark get pole dancing facilities. Xavier and Simone get a luxurious 2 storey cabin but Simone is not impressed at the producers removing the bush dunny door. They have not progressed to weeing and pooing together.

Gluttons for punishment, (or bound by the producers’ contract), Clare and Jono are back to torment each other some more. They are given a rustic, romantic bush cottage but it’s not enough to get these two kissing again. I would say it’s really over between these two, but for the sake of filming obligations they bravely soldier on.

At this point the sexperts interject to say, “The dinner party is where couples get to compare themselves with other couples”, which really shows how little they know, because comparing yourself with others is for losers. It will either make you smug, envious, or feeling inadequate. The couples arrive at dinner, the women wobbling through the bush on spike heels. It doesn’t take long for the tension between Clare and Jono becomes obvious, especially when they arrive at the party separately. But both try and hold it together, and I know that this will last only until someone dares to ask them how things have been. It’s Kristy who goes first with the questions, and now it turns to animosity. The more they speak, the angrier they each become. I like both Clare and Jono, but Clare just doesn’t recognize her habit of criticizing Jono and attempting to educate him as though she is the Dalai Lama. Clare needs a very different type of guy. One who likes getting dog poo thrown at him, and self-improvement lessons from his girl friend.

Things for Clare and Jono go from bad to worse, and Clare has to excuse herself for a cry. Lovely Simone is the girl who has to run after the girl who runs off crying. You all know the drill. Simone is beautiful, inside and out. With Simone’s encouragement, Clare regains her composure and rejoins the table. She also resumes her criticism of Jono.
She said she wanted to have sex, but Jono was a ghost husband. Jono said, regarding sex, “You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t”. Once the other couples start probing for information from Jono and Clare, Jono tries to be diplomatic but Clare starts bagging Jono and you can feel he wants to explode, but he holds back.

Couples start sticking up for Jono. Xavier tells Clare, “Let him speak”. Kristy says, “Give Jono back his balls”. But winner of the Dr Phil and Judge Judy straight shooting award goes to Erin. Little Erin jumps in with her pearls of wisdom and insight, and tells Clare that she kept criticizing Jono, and he had not spoken ill of her. She does it with such directness, yet with a certain charm that leaves Clare unable to take offence. Yes, whoever it was who said they liked Erin (Bob I think), I am a convert. She is a gem. I mean Sh*t, she is a gem. She really has spunk.

So couples return to their cabins to mull over the evening. Most to feel thankful that they aren’t Clare and Jono. We don’t see Clare. She’s done. But Jono is in his spa, alone. In spite of Clare’s earlier accusation that only she was in it for love Jono is disappointed that it didn’t work out. He poignantly removes his wedding ring for the cameras. My guess he already chucked it four days before. Please producers, give these two another shot at reality love….but not with each other.

Next week couples meet the parents and it looks like more tears and broken hearts are in store. I genuinely feel sorry for Clare and Jono. They are the collateral damage of sadistic producers who set them up to fail. Jono needs a small brunette who doesn’t preach, and doesn’t throw poo or dead snakes at him, then call him a sissy. Clare needs a brute who is scared of nothing, hates feel-good cartoons and will throw dog poo back at her.

So viewers, which holiday accomodation did you like the best. And who did YOU like tonight? Who will last? And would you date a preacher? Face with stuck-out tongue and winking eye And why did Woolif look at me funny when I said Clare nagged too much? 😑



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Married at First Sight – Ep 4

Daisy is kindly doing us another recap for the fourth MAFS. In the meantime, make sure you read her rundown from last night.
Here we go:
The show tonight begins, as usual, with a summary of highlights and lowlights so far. Then we get down to the couples facing the daily grind of wedded bliss, although it seems some aren’t doing any grinding at all. The producers attempt to give the show some credibility by calling in sexperts, who call the coupling a “social experiment”, when we really know it has much more to do with satisfying our voyeurism and making somebody rich.

Tonight Christie kicks the show off by packing her authentic Greek cowboy boots, worn by authentic Greek cowboys. They are actually really city girl boots because farmers wear old rubber boots with cow poo all over them. Mark’s farm is gorgeous, but remote for Christie, who has a meltdown having to commute 7 hours to get to work, Mark has been a real Prince Charming, leaving gifts in the forest for Christie, and it’s melting her heart, but she can’t see it working with the distance. Christie is showing she isn’t too much of a princess, as she isn’t work shy, although I am guessing her helping Mark with the calves was staged. To everyone who is asking, “Could the sexperts have got this couple any more wrong?”, the answer is not even if they tried.

Tonight, the shine is coming off Xavier and he is being a boring narcissist. He executes his daily health and beauty routines with clockwork precision, then lobs on the couch watching sport on tv, and doesn’t even lift his feet for Simone to sit down. I think by now Simone is well aware that Xavier is in love…..with Xavier. When boring homebody, Xavier finally takes Simone on a date, it’s to the beach, but it must have been a dull date because the filmcrew pack up and leave, and we see nada from them. There will be no 1st anniversary for this couple.

Erin packs her bags with several pairs of designers stilettos, and her personal valet and porter arrives to help her move. I love the symbiosis between these two. Symbiosis from what I recollect from high school biology, is where two different organisms fit very well together because each get something from the other. I think Erin senses in Bryce a good mix of Prince Charming and personal assistant who will enable her to continue her pampered lifestyle. Never the less, to provide some storyline, and in the hope that she might accidentally set fire to the kitchen, the producers decide that Erin will go to the farmers’ market then make a lasagne. Amazingly she manages to do both with a lot of help from technology….she had to phone her mum to ask how to chop a carrot (staged). Anyhow, it turns out Erin actually cooks like a famous celebrity chef…..Gordon Ramsey; “Sh*t, fu*k, sh*t”. Proud new hubby returns with a “Honey, I’m home”, to find that Erin has transformed into June Cleaver (google it, young ones), right down to cooking in her jewels, although with June, it was pearls and a twin set. Don’t get used to it Bryce. It will either be you cooking or Erin’s mum bringing potroast when she comes to collect the laundry and do the vacuuming. Out of the 4 couples, this pair seem to have a bit of a chance of seeing the first 6 months out.

Now down to producers’ pick for the evening. Clare and Jono provided most of tonight’s entertainment, although it’s painful to watch these two trying to make the best of it. Tidy, clean Jono discovers that there are 3 animals at Clare’s place; two dogs and a dead mouse in the fridge. How the hell does anyone get a dead mouse in their fridge? Seems like Clare is a bit of a piggy, so that makes 4 animals. A piggy with a puggy. 🐷

Keeping it G rated for the kiddies, Jono loves watching cartoons, and going to bed without sex. It’s Jono’s pick for TV night, and he chooses Frozen. Clare and Fugly make their contempt for Jono’s immature taste in movies apparent, although I suspect Fugly secretly loves 100 and 1 Dalmations. Tonight I discover that Farting Fugly is actually a girl named Dutch, surname Oven. By now Clare’s pattern of man fixing has emerged. And here is her list of improvements she has pencilled in for Jono so far:
1. Stop being a sook. 2. Stop “throwing tantrums”, (inflamatory choice of words sure to cause more anger). 3. Learn deep breathing. 4. Improve you dental hygiene. Besides being a boyfriend fixer, Clare is a button pusher, so that everytime Jono calms down and comes up for air she dunks his head in the toilet again. Poor Clare. Nice girl but she doesn’t recognize that she is making Jono into a project, yet aggravating him and pushing his buttons. An average day for Clare, 1. Give Jono a wedgie. 2. Throw a bag of warm dog poo at him. 3. Call him a cry baby. 4. Try and force him to practice yoga breathing. In the end, you could tell even Fugly didn’t want any part of it.

Anyway, Jono really doesn’t want a Clare make over. She might even have a dog collar and a man sized pink cravat for him. So Jono does a bunk and Clare has a cry.

Next week we are promised a shocking twist, a dramatic break-up, a shattered heart and the most explosive dinner party yet. Feel free to speculate. I will go with Fugly throws off the pink cravat, does one last fart and runs off to be with Jono. 😆😆



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