It’s Wednesday night MKR, so chat away. I probably can’t do a recap tonight, so contributions welcome.
TV blurb says: The top teams will travel the country, showcasing to judges Pete and Manu how far they have come by going back to where it all started – their Instant Restaurants.
No full recap tonight but a few points below and the dish pix.
* Tonight it’s the turn of the Sisters, Tasia and Gracia, who are among the top three contenders at the moment (although in their first instant restaurant they only scored one point higher than the Miners – yep, that’s how bad it was). As usual at this time in the comp they have to cook two options for each course.
* While perusing the menu Pete mentions that Manu’s mother-in-law makes a good rendang. Google says his partner is Malaysian-Chinese-Sri Lankan, so their household must be food heaven. (And thanks, Google, for teaching me Manu is short for Emmanuel). I love a good rendang and have used this recipe for years http://www.notquitenigella.com/2011/06/23/beef-rendang/
* Zana hasn’t eaten much Asian food and is “not a fan”. Has she been living under a rock?
* What have they dressed Lauren in? Everyone knows you don’t wear white to eat Asian food – it’s way too saucy and splashy. The MKR stylists love dressing contestants in ugly playsuits.
* These girls could never work together in a kitchen for other people – they are way too loud. They need to have their own cafe with an open kitchen so people can pay to watch them bicker as pre-dinner entertainment.
* The judges arrive to the tune of Franz Ferdinand’s Take Me Out.
* Here’s Jordan, crying prettily. It’s ok, Jordan – at least you don’t have to eat Cougar and Cub’s food in this instant restaurant round. * How good did those entrees look!
* Zana has never eaten a dumpling before. C’mon, you’re starting to sound like Jess talking about sugar. At least she liked it. Really – she’s never even heard of rendang?
* Mitch looks like he’s been on a tonne of Bali surf trips.
* Two sesame desserts? That’s a lot of sesame.
* Lauren said two-fiddy-kay again (vote in the Lauren’s most annoying phrases poll if you haven’t already). She’s not getting much of the edit tonight – perhaps she’s sick?
* I was worried Manu creeping up behind the girls while they were at the deep fryer would result in a terrible accident. Their reactions definitely made good telly.
* Pete’s dessert fake out wasn’t fooling anyone: “That’s the best Asian desert I’ve ever had.”
Mango mousse with tapioca and sesame nougatine
Sesame chocolate ball with pandan ice cream
Scores
Curlies 8
Lauren and Carmine 7
Zana and Plus One 8
Anna and Jordan 10
Pete
Entree (crab) 9
Main (chicken) 10
Dessert (mango mousse) 10
Manu
Entree (dumplings) 10
Main (rendang) 8
Dessert (sesame ball) 5
TOTAL 85 (the highest score in ultimate instant restaurant round history)
* Well done, Tasia and Gracia. Despite the bickering you looked organised and the food was visually appealing. Top two looks likely.
* Lauren quote of the night: “Pete and Manu are handing out 10s like they’re Tic Tacs.”
* On Sunday it’s the Curlies’ turn. The previews show Zana having a meltdown at the table because she can’t eat something. Is it an unusual food? A hairy carrot? Something with a face?
Room service? The contestants enter Kitchen HQ and there’s a row of cloches waiting for them – how very MasterCheffy. Pete says there will be a rapid cook off for all six teams. At the end four teams will be safe, and the two weakest teams will go to sudden death.
The rapid cook off will require the teams to combine unusual flavour parings chosen by Pete and Manu (yeah, right) for a dish. What a pity they are only doing one round of this and then the same old sudden death.
The flavour pairings are saffron and vanilla (screams some kind of milky or ricey dessert), beetroot and chocolate (actually a common combo for cakes), lamb and apricot (umm, Moroccan tagine, anyone? As if this is an unusual pairing), fig and liver (ok, that’s weird), basil and raspberries (used in some modern desserts already), rhubarb and black pudding (odd but you could do a chutney with the rhubarb). Having won the restaurant challenge with their occy dish, Anna and Jordan get to allocate the flavours to the teams. Or in Gangsta Lauren’s case, flava. The biggest threats are Curlies and Sisters, so, strategically, they should get the fig and liver and rhubarb and black pudding.
Mama and Son take saffron and vanilla for themselves. Dads get basil and raspberries; Zana and Plus One liver and fig (and Lauren and Carmine think this is strategic, as Zana likes offal and they reckon she’s not a threat); Curlies catch the easy lamb and apricot; Sisters get rhubarb and black pudding; and Carmine and Lauren get the easy beetroot and choc.
They only have 45 minutes to cook with, which is not long to braise or bake anything. What they’re making
Zana and Plus One are doing chicken liver pate with balsamic figs – what a great idea. Yum. They decided to add some fig jam and cooked liver, also, to do the cheffy two ways thing. There’s not much room to move at the kitchen benches and, of course, they’ve placed Lauren next to Zana, hoping for some argy bargy. Lauren is making chocolate ganache with beetroot sauce and macadamia crumb. She’s baking her ganache, first adding eggs. Sounds like you invented cake, Lauren.
Dads are doing raspberry sponge with Italian meringue and sweet basil pesto. Sounds good but I thought they would do little sponges rather than one larger dish.
Sisters are freaked out by cooking with black pudding, which they’ve not used before, and the almost as unfamiliar rhubarb. Their dish sounds really interesting: Black pudding Scotch egg with rhubarb mayonnaise. I would ditch the mayo for a rhubarb chutney but they are usually great with flavours, so let’s see.
Jordan and Anna are doing a savoury dish: Saffron and vanilla lobster with saffron pasta. Jordan is sous videing the lobster. Forty-five minutes is not long to make pasta, but both Anna and Curly Bro are attempting it. Curlies are doing spiced lamb rack with apricot puree and tortellini.
We’re subjected to yet another sequence of Gianni peeling things waaay too slowly – livers this time – although he’s not quite at Chops level. They’re hoping their pate will set in time for popping it the freezer.
The Curlies’ tortellini looks so cute, and no doubt their pasta will be thinner than Carmine’s last night. Speaking of, Lauren is worried that none of their elements is ready and is getting angsty. Carmine knows her well enough to stay out of her way.
Dad Cookie forgot to set the timer for the sponge, so they disagree over whether it’s cooked through. Have they stuck a skewer in it? Cookie wins the mild disagreement and grabs the cutter, but – uh oh – it’s raw in the middle. Do they have microwaves? Don’t think I’ve ever seen one on MKR, but they used them on MasterChef for siphon sponges all the time. They do their best and smush together the cooked bits with raspberries and top their Frankenstein sponge with torched meringue. They haven’t attempted as many elements as other teams.
They are not the only ones in a world of pain. Over at Curlies’ bench, Laura cuts into her lamb rack and it’s raw. Lauren’s ganache is too warm to quenelle properly. Jordan and Anna are plating their open lasagna and he’s not happy: “As time goes on, this plate gets uglier and uglier and uglier.”
Tasia is watching the clock and waiting until the last minute to pull the scotch egg out, so Gracia is freaking out. Gianni is frantically trying to pipe pate on the plate.
Lauren isn’t happy with their rushed plating: “This dish looks like a crime scene.”
Lauren sounds sooo nervous and I feel a bit sorry for her, but then they cut to confessional where she does her American accent again and I change my mind.
And the verdict …
Jordan and Anna: Manu says it looked messy, the lobster was well cooked and they used their ingredients well.
Zana and Plus One: Pete says they highlighted the figs and livers well and “it was very hard to fault.”
Sisters: Pete says it was unusual and smart. Manu loved it.
Dads: Manu says it looked pretty but the sponge wasn’t cooked and it lacked basil flavour. Pete wasn’t wowed.
Lauren and Carmine: Pete “didn’t mind” the baked ganache but it needed more beetroot sauce.
Curlies: Pete says the tortellini was sensational, the apricot good and the lamb underdone.
So I’m thinking Dads and Lauren for sudden death (which is what most of us predicted last night anyway). Yep, that’s how it goes.
That was a fun challenge – I hope they do that again.
Sudden death
For round two the teams have to create one dish with classic flavours. They have one hour to cook. This could go either way.
After the success of her apple crumble tarts in last night’s sudden death episode, Lauren decides to go pastry again with a white chocolate and raspberry tart. She’s making a chocolate pastry because she’s good at pastry. “If people want to call me a dessert queen, I’ll let them,” she tells confessional. But then she blanks on the pastry recipe. She sounds hoarse – maybe she’s crook. Luckily Carmine remembers: 3-2-1 (is that flour, sugar, cocoa?).
Dads are making mint-crusted lamb backstrap with peas and mint. Sounds simple so they’d better add some fancy pants elements.
Carmine is making a raspberry sherbet to go with their tart and on the sidelines we hear Zana say “I think they should be leaving that out”, but it sounds like it’s come from another part of the MKR timeline. Lauren is attacking her pastry again – but there seems to be less violence involved than last night.
The Dads do a tester with their herb-crusted lamb but they’ve cranked the pan up too high, so it burns and the crust falls off. This is their first time in sudden death and they are losing it. Anna doesn’t know why they don’t use egg to stick it, which is what everyone at home was yelling out. Or they could just cook the lamb and do a deconstructed crumb.
In the other kitchen Lauren is trying to temper white chocolate but Curly Laura says she’s aiming for the temperature used for dark choc. She’s freaking out over whether her tarts are ready and second guessing herself on everything.
The Dads cut into their lamb and it looks lovely and pink. But won’t their crust have gone soggy from being covered in foil to rest?
It’s the usual last-minute dash and the Dads’ little French fries look deliciously golden and crunchy. Neither team has done the best-looking dish and Lauren went easy on the raspberry soz.
And the verdict
Dads: Pete says the lamb was cooked properly and he liked the chips, but Manu says the crumb lacked crunch. However, Pete loved eating it.
Lauren and Carmine: Pete says the pastry was sensational and he liked the white chocolate mascarpone filling and the playful sherbet. Manu thinks she should “bottle” her pastry recipe. However, the soz was lacking.
Pete says it’s very close but it’s obvious the Dads are going home. The judges hand down the verdict, as expected, and Carmine is in shock. Everyone tears up and Manu gives his usual farewell salute. At least they get to see their recipe in the Coles magazine and they behaved impeccably throughout the series. Hugs all round. So the Final Five are Curlies, Sisters, Mama and Son, Zana and Plus One and Carmine and Lauren. Tomorrow night it’s a flashback to the instant restaurant days as we go round the country yet again. It looks like we’ll get some delicious dishes and we hear Pete utter the words “it’s the highest score ever”. There’s also a shot of a warm sauced being poured over a chocolate disc balanced atop a glass, which was a technique used in a dessert pressure test set by Shannon Bennett in last year’s MasterChef, so I’m thinking that’s a Mitch and Laura dessert. I did enjoy the snippet of the Sisters being so overjoyed that something was properly cooked and wanted to hug Manu but being unsure if they were allowed to touch him.
Did you all enjoy the varied format of tonight’s episode? I did. And now I’m left pondering what I would have cooked if I’d got each of those flavour pairings. And I’m going to look up that tart recipe because I have no idea from watching the show how she made those pastries work.
It’s Lauren and Carmine versus Eve and Jason (better known as Mr and Mrs Chops). And for what is likely to be his final night in Kitchen HQ, the stylists have dressed Mr Chops in a shirt even more hideous than those that have come before him. It’s possible he could self combust if the studio lights hit the offending polyester garment at the wrong angle. The horror. And Lauren continues to oblige the producers with some trash talk while the Chopses are bemused by this whole reality TV lark.
Manu wardrobe update: He’s back in the purple velvet, which is a letdown after his chef blacks last night at Fass’s restaurant.
Chopses’ menu
Entree: Choux gnocchi with spring vegies and roast tomato sauce
Main: Lamb cutlets with parsnip puree, mushrooms and jus
Dessert: Lemon cheesecake with citrus curd and pepita crumb
Mmmm, sounds tasty but not very “cheffy”, especially the main.
Gangsta Lauren’s menu
Entree: Toretellini in brodo
Main:Beef brisket with mushy peas and roasted bone marrow
Dessert: Apple crumble tart with cinnamon ice cream.
Another broth? They’ve had great success with it in the past and are on rinse and repeat. As Zana comments: “By the 10th time you’d probably nail it.”
Lauren is determined to win: “I want to stick it to all those people who said I couldn’t do anything with my life. Stuff youse.” Where did she grow up? Detroit, in the trailer next to Eminem?
On the sidelines, contenders Anna and Jordan say there’s no need to mess with the perfection that is traditional gnocchi. Meanwhile, Lauren is working on her broth: “It’s gonna be amaze.” She has a dig at Chopses for their usage of jar shortcuts.
And the award for the first person to talk about treating produce with respect is Zana, in regards to the brisket. (This could make a good drinking game: One shot when the word respect is used; a sip for the word soz; two sips every time Lauren does her gangsta accent …)
Eve is trying to show the judges she has learnt new skills and is doing a good job of frenching her lamb racks. So Chops channels the spirit of Tarq’s Dad and quips: “No-one frenches like you, baby.” But – as predicted by Jordan – Chops has put too much cheese in his gnocchi choux and it ain’t working. He needs to chuck it but he won’t listen to the missus and doggedly keeps trying to make it work.
Carmine is working on the pasta while Lauren preps dessert, doing the double whisk, double saucepan thing. Credit where it’s due – she’s a fast worker. And Carmine’s tortellini look pretty.
Chops has cut the carrots too small and again is not listening to the Missus when she says they need bigger chunks. And then he uses tongs to one by one take out roasted cherry tomatoes from the oven tray. If I was Eve I’d throw a slotted soon at his head.
Lauren is seasoning her broth and chucks a bucket of salt in it. Chops is happy with his gnocchi but Anna and Jordan reckon he’s overcrowded the pan and won’t get the caramelisation he needs. Plus it’s a teeny serve. Time to taste
Fass says the dish looks clumsy but it has good flavour. Guy says the pasta needs to be worked more. However, the seasoning is apparently spot on. But what does Zana think? “Whoa – that is some bad flavours in the mouth, mate.”
As suspected, it’s a fail and the gnocchi aren’t at all pillowy. Fass: “You’d have a crick in your neck if you slept on one of those pillows.” The sauce is nice but the judges note there is nothing spring like about the vegies they used. But what does Zana think? “I wouldn’t pay for either of these in a restaurant.” How does Zana keep a straight face in court?
On to mains
Lauren is checking on her soz and it’s too salty, so she adds sugar – to jus! Zana and I are both horrified. Now it’s too sweet, so she adds the packet stock.
Mrs Chops is also working on her soz, but there doesn’t appear to be much of it. Chops is trimming the beans and he’s so painfully slow the editors play Baby Elephant Walk in the background. Over to Jordan: “That turtle that beat the hare would easily beat Jason.”
Over in the other kitchen Carmine is having bone marrow trouble because his oven was set to grill. This happens all the time on MKR – wouldn’t you think teams would check each other’s oven setting ability for each course? At least the brisket looks lovely and tender.
Mrs Chops carves up her lamb racks and they look perfectly pink. Carmine chopping brisket and is adding even more salt to the meat. Chops is taking forevs to puree the parsnip and it’s the first thing that needs to go on the plate. Missus rolls the cutlets in fresh herbs for a vibrant dash of green.
The brisket goes on the plate and Curly Laura is worried at the lack of soz. When will MKR contestants learn the soz is crucial.
Everything is cooked well but the judges agree with Karen, who wants to see more “razzamatazz”. And thanks, Karen, for putting this old jingle back in my head:
Everyone loves it but they wanted more sauce. Fass: “This is my type of food.” Pete says both mains were very strong, which is not at all the impression I got. But what does Zana think? “I actually prefer Eve and Jason’s dish.”
On to dessert
Most of the dessert prep is already done, so Chopses are doing their lemon curd and crumb (which includes fennel seed – hmm, not sure about this. Rosemary would be more likely). However Lauren is yet to get her tart shells in the oven. And instead of trimming the tarts individually she’s trying to do a whole row at once with a strip of pastry and failing dismally. Just cut the pastry into squares, place it in the tin and then roll that pin over to trim, Lauren. She’s freaking out, but unless it’s a complete disaster they’re safe anyway. Lauren’s fired up, so she spits out: “Screw all those people that be drinking that Hatorade.” Yes … Seriously. Finally she gets the tart shells done but in the rush she breaks one getting it out of the tin. Chopses are actually plating up without it being a mad rush, but Missus isn’t happy with the consistency of her cheesecake mousse quenelles. Again, Chops is using tongs to laboriously put single items on a plate, this time strawberries. Dude, put a glove on, use your hand and save yourself five minutes! Their deconstructed cheesecake looks ok but if it was MasterChef there’d at least be some microherbs on there and a tuille.
Carmine and Lauren are in a world of pain getting their tarts on the plate but it all pans out in the end.
Urgh – it’s that thing where we have to wait until the final critique to hear what they thought, so it’s probably good.
The verdict Chopses: Comments are more of the same.
Guy 5, Karen 6, Liz 6, Fass 6, Pete 6, Manu 6. Total 35/60 Lauren and Carmine: Karen says the dessert was very simple, with only two elements: “They were impeccable.” But the highest praise comes from straight talker Fass: “In four years here I’ve only had one dessert as good and that was in the grand final. For me that was a 10 out of 10.”
Guy 8, Karen 8, Liz 7, Fass 8 (which elicits a *bleep* to the heavens from Carmine), Pete 8, Manu 7. Total 46
Goodbye, Eve and Jason. Yes, you weren’t the best cooks in the world and you embrace dreadful facial hair, but you were real people on a reality TV show and you never tried to speak gangsta or use the word “Hatorade”.
So tomorrow night another team will go and we’ll learn who the Final Five are (any Battlestar Galactica fans out there? No? Moving on, then.) We’re left with Anna and Jordan, Curlies, Sisters, Lauren and Carmine, Dads and Zana and Plus One. You’d think the first three teams are safe, although someone could always drop a tray or decide to serve seafood pasta in a bag.
It’s time to see how the teams cope in a real kitchen under the scrutiny of our favourite Oirish chef.
Yes, it’s off to 4Fourteen in Surry Hills, NSW, which has lots of happening restaurants.
Here we go … Cue nervous laughter. The teams arrive at Kitchen HQ and learn they are cooking at a real restaurant and Fass tells them it’s not just any restaurant: “It’s moi restaurant.”
They look equally scared and excited. They have 90 minutes to create a main course worthy of 4Fourteen, which has a nose-to-tail ethos.
Fass’s chefs and restaurant managers will also be tasting the food. And the winner will not only get bragging rights; their dish goes on to his regular menu. That’s the equivalent of getting a spread in Elle magazine in Australia’s Next Top Model. Laura’s a tad excited. Losers will go to sudden death and then Fass drops the bombshell that he won’t even set foot in the kitchen. Surely he’ll be yelling at them from the pass at some point, otherwise that would be no fun.
It’s not a huge place so they’ve split the teams into two shifts. Love the open kitchen and the green lights. Jordan and Anna are focused and determined to win – apparently Anna has dreamt of being a chef for decades. They haven’t put a foot wrong thus far. Here’s a pic just for Windsong so she can swoon over Jordan in chef’s whites. They have taken heed of Colin Fassnidge’s warning to not waste any food – let’s see who forgets and suffers the wrath of The Fass. The menus of shift one
Anna and Jordan: Charred harissa octopus with duck fat potatoes and kale
Zana and Plus One: Salt-baked rainbow trout with sauce vierge and heirloom tomatoes.
Mr and Mrs Chops: Lamb liver and onions with crispy black pudding and sweet potato (sounds heavy – is there anything to provide freshness on the plate?)
(Remember, Dads aren’t cooking tonight as they won the Coles magazine challenge with their peri-peri chicken.)
Plus One is peeling blanched tomatoes ever so slowly – did he forget to cut crosses in the bottom? Zana is doing a Marco Pierre White and thinks if she repeatedly tells him to work faster he will become more technically competent. Manu pops into the kitchen to make everyone even more nervous. So much better now than in the velvet smoking jackets. Mr Chops is feeling confident, which means we should be worried for him – I really hope they don’t overcook the liver.
Gianni and Zana are serving a herb sorbet with their fish, which sounds intriguing. They’re pushed for time but I guess the restaurant has a blast chiller.
The judges like the sound of the Chopses’ dish, but are worried about Jordan’s call to serve the occy in a sea of kale and apple soup, and worried about how much work Zana and Plus One have to do. Luckily Zana is a machine at multitasking. Anna has a lot going on. No Lemon Squeeze on Colin’s kitchen. Anna takes the occy out of the pressure cooker and is worried it’s a bit over, while Zana reckons her trout is perfect. Jordan is not happy with his unbalanced kale juice – Jordan, it’s not the balance, it’s the fact you decided to use the devil’s vegetable in your dish.
Fass’s staff arrives and it’s almost time to serve. Zana and Plus One are way behind, so Manu steps in to organise their bench space. Manu to the rescue. Everyone’s panicking and the Chopses are just chucking stuff on the plate. It ain’t pretty and Eve knows it: “Jase, that’s a bloody doh’s breakfast.”
Jordan is adding the kale juice even though he’s not sure about it. It will either be a triumph or a disaster. Note Colin got a waistcoat again, because that’s what Oirishmen wear, apparently. Let the tasting begin.
Everyone likes the balance of the harissa heat and kale juice and the occy is delish. Fass: “There’s nothing on this dish I’d change.” Manu suggests thickening the juice to a more soz-like consistency. The staff reckon it would sell.
The fish is cooked well, but the sorbet puzzles everyone. Manu thinks the dish would be easier to eat with trout fillets so diners don’t have to dodge the bones.
So, Anna and Jordan are in the lead thus far.
Menus of shift two
Sisters: Pan-roasted duck with turnips, apple and miso
Carmine and Lauren: Balsamic-glazed pork ribs with parsnip puree and red cabbage pickle
Curlies: Sous vide lamb with crispy brains and caramelised onion puree (sounds like a winner already)
This kind of challenge is right up the Curlies’ alley, and the Sisters should do well also. The Curlies have chosen a challenging dish, while Lauren is doing, umm, balsamic ribs. Sounds like something I’d cook at home – not pay for at a restaurant. And she’s doing her dreadful gangsta accent again. Ick.
Manu pretends to stir the Sisters by questioning their use of miso, but they point out Fass already uses it on his menu. Gracia has a brain malfunction and freaks out that the oven is too hot, but luckily Tasia knows the difference between Fahrenheit and celsius. Oops. But later Tasia keeps calling turnips “tulips”, so perhaps their ditziness is genetic. Just as well they can cook – they’ve smartly done a test duck breast so they can test the strength of the commercial oven.
Curly Laura is making a rosemary ash to coat the cooked lamb – it’s ambitious stuff. Burnt rosemary is rather bitter but she usually knows what she’s doing.
Lauren is feeling the pressure of her pressure cooker not working, but luckily Carmine is keeping a cool head.
The judges think the ribs could be too sweet and cooking duck is tricky but Fass is keen on the lamb dish: “You had me at brains. Very cheffy but can they pull it off?”
The other teams are doing well not to be rattled by the Sisters’ screeching. Fass reminds Pete he once hired a past contestant who still works for him. But they don’t name names for some reason. (Thanks, Google – it was Drasko! Ah, that’s right – the ADD-type guy with the talented cook wife. Still, if Fass’s kept him on so long he must be doing ok.) The judges are worried the Curlies are juggling too many elements and that the Sisters’ miso soz won’t taste right.
Speaking of soz, Curlies have forgotten to make their stock into a jus, so with what appears to be five minutes to go Mitch chucks some in a pan and cranks it. Manu pops by to give advice on how to plate efficiently and in the process calls Laura “darling”. She’ll get a job out of this from someone, no matter how much further she goes. If Drasko can get a job in a kitchen, it should be a cinch for Laura. Lauren and Carmine are also having soz trouble – they haven’t made enough. Curlies’ jus isn’t working so they ditch it and add more mint sauce. Time to taste
Pete loves the cabbage but Fass thinks it’s the best thing on the plate. The ribs are a bit dry and flavourless – they needed heaps more glaze. One of the floor staff points out 4Fourteen already serves a rib and pickled cabbage dish. Didn’t the teams get to peruse the menu beforehand? Maybe not.
“It’s a playful dish,” says Pete, who then points out it would be easy to serve in the restaurant. The woman who appears to be Fass’s head chef wouldn’t change a thing and thinks the customers would love it.
So is it between the occy and the duck, because Curlies’ dish is too labour intensive for kitchen service? Bottom two must be Lauren and Chopses. Time for judging
Pete is in raptures over Jordan’s kale juice: “It made the dish.” Chopses cop the overdone liver critique on the chin – they aren’t delusional like some past contestants. The other comments are more of what we’ve heard already, although they are harsher on Zana in order to build up this fake rivalry with Lauren. And the winning team, who get their dish added to the 4Fourteen menu, is … Next on the menu: stunned mullets. They also get an advantage is the next challenge.
And the bottom two teams are … Chopses and Lauren and Carmine. No surprise there. Zana’s dish was waaaay more complicated than pork ribs and tasted good.
What do you think Anna and Jordan’s advantage will be? More time to cook? If this was MasterChef they’d get to choose the ingredient everyone would cook with, but MKR doesn’t like to freestyle it.
Coles hasn’t been getting much bang for its buck lately with the offsite challenges and sudden deaths, so it’s time to put the brand front and centre with a supermarket challenge.
They get to shop, prep and cook inside a rather new-looking Coles store. Shoppers will judge their family-friendly dishes and the people’s choice winner is safe for the next couple of episodes and gets their recipe published in the Coles food magazine. Geez, I hope they didn’t bump Mike and Tarq’s rice pudding to make way for tonight’s winner.
Everyone plays bumper trolleys in the fruit and veg section.
What’s cooking?
Tasia and Gracia are making satay beef with nasi goreng and achar (it’s a vegie pickle). The shoppers will love it.
How much better does Zana look in her casual gear, again rocking her Lara Croft braid?
Zana runs like such a girl.
Zana and Plus One are making ricotta gnudi with roast pumpkin and sauteed mushrooms. Hmm, a vegetarian dish is unlikely to win.
Hot off their unexpected sudden death win, the Chopses are doing confit salmon with ruby grapefruit and fennel salad. I don’t know many kids who’d be eating grapefruit salad. Or which home cook would bother confiting salmon for a weeknight dinner.
Dads are doing peri-peri chicken with Spanish rice, which sounds exactly like something you would see in the Coles mag. A good choice, although they’ve been criticised in the past for not bamming up the flavours.
Lamb backstrap with roasted garlic and celeriac puree is on the menu for former checkout chick Lauren and Carmine. Hopefully one of the customers will teach Lauren how to pronounce celeriac.
Jordan and Anna have a delish-sounding dish: Port-braised beef cheeks with parsnip puree and pickle salad. Did Coles order in beef cheeks specially? I know here in Adelaide only some butchers stock them and certainly not the big supermarkets. What a shame their kitchen has been placed in front of rows of softdrinks rather than fresh produce.
Rosie and Paige are making what Rosie says is her kids’ fave: prosciutto, camembert and sage chicken with pearl couscous.
Lauren’s bench is right next to Zana’s – what a coincidence – and since Lauren makes a similar ricotta gnudi dish herself, so is having a right sticky at Gianna’s technique. She pulls out the gangsta slang again: “Their flour is all up in my grill.” Urgh. Enough, Lauren!
Pete thinks Rosie and Paige’s chicken dish is dated, but Fass thinks the families will go for it. We can’t all be on the bone broth, Pete. Fass is excited by the Dads’ peri-peri chicken.
Mr Chops is in a bit of a flap over his confit but Mrs is as chilled as usual. Paige puts the browned chicken in the oven and it looks sooo tasty, but then she tells Rosie she doesn’t need to set the timer. ALWAYS set the timer, girls! What are you thinking?
The Sisters are squabbling as usual while making a fab-looking peanut sauce that I’m going to have to try. (Side note: Remember when Marion, she of Thai heritage, was eliminated from MasterChef on a satay sauce-making challenge? That was a sad day).
It’s good to escape the squabbling and hear the banter of the Besties and Mama and Son. Anna reminisces that, as a boy, Jordan wanted to be a broccoli farmer and he deadpans: “I still do, Mum. Some dreams never die.”
The Dads are freaking that their chicken isn’t cooking properly, so Colin comes in to stir them up. Notice Pete no longer gets this stirring job as they know Fass will be blunter. And then Pete asks Fass if he’s impressed by the Chopses doing confit, and it’s a quick: “No.” (He hasn’t forgotten the Lemon Squeeze incident.) And then Fass goes over to tell Carmine he was a fool to slice his lamb backstrap early (der) as the juice will run out – basic cooking knowhow. Rosie and Paige are worried about flavourless couscous and Rosie is retreating into her stress bubble, while the Sisters are unsure if their beef skewers will be well done, Indonesian style, or how they know the judges want it: medium rare.
From the edit the Sisters could win and the Besties and maybe Lauren be in the bottom. Let’s see what happens.
It’s a frantic race to the finish, as once the clock stops there’s no more cooking and the hordes will descend for their free sample. Lauren and Carmine have trouble with their finished plates.
Sparse but the shoppers will eat anything free.
Rosie and Paige only got 28 plates up and are gutted – even Paige can’t find anything bubbly to say.
Anna and Jordan’s dish is more like a meal than a sampler and looks fab.
Pete says: “It’s hard to make beef cheeks looks fresh and vibrant and they’ve done that.” Fass: “That’s a winner.” Pete: “This could be the best beef cheek dish I’ve ever tried.”
Fass thinks the lamb dish looks sad and unfinished. Pete says the lamb is cooked well but the other elements suck: “There’s not a lot of thought that has gone into this dish.”
Pete thinks it looks fresh and Fass says the salmon is cooked properly. Fass has to eat his words about it being a boring dish: “The guys have had a bit of a rough trot and I’ve been riding them.”
The judges think the chook is dry but the couscous has a good mushroom flavour. Pete: “They’ve dropped the ball with this dish.”
The judge give their critiques and rave about the satays; same goes for the beef cheeks. Fass: “I’m looking up – what am I looking at? The ball getting knocked out or the park. Home run.” Dads get thumbs up; Besties mixed review; Chopses get a “spot on” from Fass; Zana and Plus One cop it for dry gnudi. Zana is devo.
Is she wearing industrial-strength eyeliner?
People’s choice goes to … Chris and Cookie. That’s a bit of a surprise. Cookie gets a bit weepy … aww. Sudden death teams are Rosie and Paige and Zana and Gianni. So again we should see two high quality meals as both teams have produced stunning dishes in previous sudden death cookoffs. It may come down to whether the Besties can stay in the zone.
Who do you think will survive?
Wednesday night will be sudden death and I’m looking forward to Sunday, as there will no doubt be much footage of Fass getting shirty. here’s the blurb: Teams will head to Colin Fassnidge’s 4Fourteen where they will be challenged to come up with a dish worthy of a place on the menu.
Here’s a link to his menu. Anyone been there? http://www.4fourteen.com.au/Menu The chicken liver jaffle and lamb shoulder sound divine.
Surely Tarq and Dad have got this in the bag, despite the promo trying to make us think they’re having (another) shocker. Make sure you vote in our new Logies poll.
Tarq and Dad are making:
Entree: Thai prawn bisque with prawn toast
Main: Sesame-crusted tuna with homemade soba noodles
Dessert: Indian rice pudding with stone fruit compote
They are skipping all over Asia there but it sounds delish – is dessert too simple, perhaps?
Chopses (Eve and Jason) are doing:
Entree: Seared scallops with cauliflower and miso
Main: Sri Lankan beef curry with toor dal
Dessert: Spiced pears in butterscotch sauce with yoghurt sorbet
Curry should be lovely but the menu doesn’t really flow.
Mr Chops is getting on with the sorbet and continues his history of bad things happening when he touches lemon juice. This time it’s a real lemon, rather than a squeezy bottle, and he adds it to the dairy too early and creates instant curds. Down the sink it goes and it’s time to start again.
Over at the other kitchen, Tarq and Dad are prepping like mad and both manage to cut themselves. It’s blue bandaids galore. They are back on track quickly and speeding through a lot of work (who else wanted prawn toast when they saw Dad prepping that), while Chopses are on cruise control. They know their entree is simple but it will be “perfect”. Chops is not very good at chopping cauliflower – he looks slow as a wet week. Ooh – maybe the shock from the promo is that they don’t get a dish up?
Finally Eve gets on to cooking the scallops and dons a yellow glove on one hand to handle them, then proceed to touch them with her ungloved hand. But it’s taking ages, so Chops goes over to help and notes some appear to be raw in the middle.
It’s plating up time and Dad is feeling the burn – he’s sweating bullets into the prawn bisque. Doesn’t Manu have a velvet jacket lying around he can use to wipe his brow?
Both dishes look good but the prawn bisque is the one I want a big bowl of. What a relief to see them in control after the schemozzle of last night.
Time to chew …
Guy likes the way the scallops are cooked. Karen thinks the dressing needs more acid. Pete says they should have bammed up the miso.
Liz likes the toast and bisque’s depth of flavour and Guy agrees it’s a great teaser for the rest of the night. Fass thinks they could have added flavour with lime leaf or Vietnamese mint.
Time for mains …
Dad Mike gets on to the soba noodle dough while Tarq crusts the huge slab of tuna. Chopses’ curry is coming along but I don’t understand why they didn’t start it in a pressure cooker and then reduce the sauce later on the stove. Mr Chops makes a ginger cake for dessert and is only just prepping pears for poaching. Pears always take ages, but it will help that he’s halved them. The onlookers are impressed with Dad’s soba noodle-making technique, and noodle expert Jordan is called upon to let us know Dad’s doing a good job.
Token Jordan shot for Windsong.
I’d happily eat that daal but it’s looking quite mushy. As Anna comments, Tarq’s rice pudding is strange as they’ve precooked the rice. The wheels are starting to come off a little – they put the slab of tuna in a pan that’s too small, and in taking it out lose some of their sesame crust. They sort themselves out but Lauren and Carmine are worried they are serving the tuna as one big slice, rather than pretty cubes, as is usual. Chopses are rushing to fill their many bowls of condiments and sides. All credit to them for their support of each other and their apparent joy at what they produced. Time to chew …
Liz loves the tuna slab and Fass again disagrees, saying the raw to seared ratio is out of whack: “I think it’s a good dish but it’s a clumsy dish.” Fass think the curry is braised well but he and Guy say the daal is too mushy. Karen, however, likes the texture and Manu is Team Karen.
Dessert time …
Chops is making some butterscotch sauce and Curly Sis is worried the dessert will be super sweet. At least they have yoghurt sorbet to balance it. I don’t know why he went to the effort of poaching the pears in spiced liquor if he was going to chuck them in the sweet sauce anyway. Tarq’s rice puddings are looking awful – so awful they make giant turd quenelles from it. Have they never eaten a rice pudding before? They’ve certainly stepped off the gas for dessert. And then we finally get the “shock” moment, when this happens: Going …Going …Gone (nice floor cam, MKR)
They’ve lost five of their 12 pudding quenelles, but this could be a blessing in disguise as now they’ll have to use less of the stodgy-looking rice. Oh no – here’s the real disaster – they have leftover pudding and just quenelle some more.
Chopses are plating up their slabs of cake and feel sudden death has brought out the best in them – who’d have thunk it. Are those chops growing before our eyes?The charcoal plates were a good choice to make their brown elements look classier.
Time to chew …
Guy thinks Chopses’ dessert is not too sweet but Manu and the others disagree. The judges think the cake is dry and Fass says the butterscotch needed more butter. The judges taste the rice pudding and …. urgh … we don’t get to hear the comments. They must be baaaad! Dad and Tarq are on the chopping block.
The judges give their critiques … blah, blah …
Eve and Jason Chops: Guy 7, Liz 7, Karen 7. Fass 6, Pete 7, Manu 7. Total 41/60
Dad and Tarq: Rave reviews and then we get the dessert critique. Pete: “The rice was dry, fellas.” Manu: “I couldn’t really taste any flavours of India, either.” They hated it.
Guy 7, Liz 7, Karen 6. Fass 6, Pete 6, Manu 7. 39/60. Ouch! So Karen and Manu marked them down. If only they’d cooked a traditional rice pudding they would have got 8s. Bye Tarq and bye, Mike- take your lame Dad jokes with you!
The Chopses’ laidback attitude served them well in sudden death and they didn’t overcomplicate matters. I don’t think they’re in it for the long haul but they deserved the win tonight.
It’s the barbecue challenge and we know scandal is brewing for the Chopses. What do we think their shortcut ingredient is? More bottled garlic? Spice mix? Did they forget to slaughter their own cow?
And we’re at the Luddenham Rodeo for a barbecue challenge. It’s in Sydney and on a different netweork, so sadly no sign of Farmer Lance lassooing fillies.
They have to cook for the public with a marinade theme, Zana is scared of dirt (so they’ve dressed her in white), Lauren thinks Zana should get over it, yadda yadda yadda …
Pete’s big reveal: Only four of the eight teams will be safe.
And now Man Bun is out of the comp, the most interesting hairdo award goes to Mitch, aka Curly Bro. Let’s hope he’s not a tax evader, also.
Zana and Plus One are doing Eye Fillet Kebabs with rosemary potatoes and spicy ajvar (Plus One pronounces it ay-var). It’s a capsicum relish.
Lauren and Carmine are making Jamaican jerk chicken with rice and pineapple relish and she’s holding back on the chilli. How can you do jerk chicken without heat?
Anna and Jordan are doing homemade Sicilian sausage with focaccia and tomato relish. So a snag sanger with soz. Again they are showing their technical ability, making their own snags.
Laura and Mitch are going out on a limb with bush spice kangaroo with tortillas. Curly Sis is using a tonne of native spices – looks like someone’s been reading a lot of Jock Zonfrillo recipes. Kangaroo can be tricky to cook.
Straight off their sudden death win, Rosie and Paige plan to crank out pomegranate-glazed lamb cutlets with harissa pumpkin. Lamb is always popular with a crowd but they usually don’t do well in these off-site challenges, just like Zana.
The Dads are cooking BBQ scotch fillet with smoky potato salad. Yum – sounds delish but I hope their potatoes cook through on the barbie.
Dad and Tarq are doing Argentinian spatchcock, loaded sweet potato and chimichurri (which is a fabulous sauce of fresh herbs). Wonder how the rodeo crowd will react to spatchcock?
The Chopses are another team using chicken but they are using the whole bird. It’s bourbon chicken, slaw and jalapeno poppers. And Mr Chops whips out the bottle of lemon squeeze for the marinade, so that’s what all the fuss will be about. Seriously, guys – buy a bag of lemons, chop ’em in half and squeeze ’em. You’ve already been busted once. Fass comes over to berate them and Chopses’ defence is he needed a litre of juice for his 21 chooks. Yeah, if you were at your house, Chops, but not on tellie. Squeezy scandal.
Eve is saying anything to get rid of Fass and afterwards whispers to Jason: “Why didn’t you hide it.”
Jordan is making sausages to the tune of Kid Rock’s Cowboy when Fass comes over to stir up trouble, questioning whether Anna’s focaccia will rise in time and whether they are meeting the brief of a marinade. At the next table over, Paige can’t believe Jordan is taking on Fass, but it looks the cheeky chap has got away with it. A media career beckons.
Watching Zana trying to fry potatoes on the barbie is hilarious. There’s much oww-ing and oh-ing. Barbecueing in a tank top is not a good move.
“I need to go and have the longest bath ever known to human beings. Put some bleach on me and detergent,” she jokes. Surely Montenegran people barbecue? They’re big meat lovers.
We cut to Lauren doing the world’s worst Southern accent in a bit to build up this supposed Zana V Lauren feud, which I’m sure Zana knows nothing about.
Both the Dads and Tarq are doing chimichurri sauce – I was going to pick Tarq as the winner until he added honey to his.
Carmine and Chops are both having trouble with uncooked chicken, while Rosie and Paige are confident in their flavours and aren’t freaking out for once. It looks like the Chopses are in the most trouble when service starts.
All we hear from the judges is Fass’s “good, hey?”, so they’ve probably won.
To the strains of Black Keys’ Lonely Boy we get the last rush of food pushing, and Chopses still have dishes sitting on their table.
The judges’ verdict
Pete gives Anna and Jordan mad props again for their teamwork, a combination of her experience and his youthful twists. Curly Sis is chuffed to hear Fass say: “It takes balls to do that.” And that is why we love him on MKR. His pairing with Pete seems a more comfy one than the Pete-Manu screen presence. The Dads won the chimi-off. The lamb was Fass’s dish of the day and Pete says it was exceptional. Good to see the girls happy again.
I’m thinking the breakdown will be:
Top
Curlies
Anna and Jordan
Paige and Rosie
Zana and Gianni
Bottom
Chopses
Dads
Tarq and Dad
Lauren and Carmine
As we shed a tear for the now-dead-to-us Italians, it’s time to see how the contestants fare with an outdoor challenge. Will some of them learn from their mistakes with the Olympic challenge?
Now we know it’s a seafood challenge, as this is a behind-the-scenes video of the contestants at the Sydney Fish Markets. It’s nice to see them all looking relaxed for a change. https://au.tv.yahoo.com/my-kitchen-rules/clips/31161331/behind-the-scenes-fisherman-s-challenge/#page1
Here we go …
Looks like a lovely day to be on the waters of Sydney Harbor and the Lovebirds are doing the Titanic pose in the bow. However, Zana is not thrilled to be on a boat.
“There’s sewage in the ocean. I don’t like it,” she says. Ah, Zana, what was once infuriating to us is now hilarious.
Jordan fans (looking at you, Windsong) feel free to sit this one out as he and mum are safe after winning the Rio challenge.
Pete and Fass welcome contestants to Cockatoo Island but announce cryptically that Rosie and Paige are absent due to the latter having an accident and being told to sit out on doctor’s orders.
Thanks to Twitter I found out she seriously injured her hand while trying to show Rosie how to fillet a fish with a blunt knife in their hotel room. She ended up having to have hand surgery and still has trouble. If you click through the Twitter link you’ll get more deets.
— Yahoo7 Entertainment (@y7entertainment) 22 March 2016
Back at Cockatoo Island the contestants have an hour to prep and cook a dish of cockatoo – ah, seafood, for 100 fisherfolk. There’s going to be lots of tedious peeling prawns, pinboning fish and debearding mussels, which is why I tend to order seafood when I eat out so someone else does the hard yards. Curlies (Mitch and Laura) are doing snapper remoulade with charred fennel and beurre blanc. Fancy! Perhaps it’s a good thing to be cooking French food when Manu has the day off. Mr and Mrs Chops are doing pan-fried ocean trout with garlic aioli [there’s a tautology for you] and cauliflower chips. The chips sound yummy. They are happy and confident about cooking fish, so I’m waiting for them to flatline. Zana and Plus One are doing salt and pepper squid with rocket and radish salad and spicy aioli. Should be quick to do in the brief prep time and is a good dish for a hot day. Lovebirds go for herb-crusted tuna with tomato and bocconcini salad with crispy chips. So glad they didn’t go for that more pleb option of soggy chips. Uh oh – Nelly is writing on a blackboard again. Remember what happened last time she was let loose with chalk?
From the RSL challenge.
That massive slab of tuna would be worth a bomb, so I don’t blame JP for being nervous. Lauren and Carmine are doing crispy skin salmon with asparagus and lemon butter sauce. Lauren has the spiraliser out and is doing oodles of zoodles. Hmmm … is zucchini really the way to a fisherman’s heart? I’m over salmon – it should be banned from the comp.
The Miners are making crispy skin barramundi with noodle salad and Asian beans. Do they mean snake beans? No, they look like regular beans and he’s going to throw in some hoisin and soy to Asian it up. Please don’t stuff it up, lads – you did so well on the Olympic challenge.
The seagulls are giving everyone the shits, especially Zana. I really hope one poops on someone.
Like maybe, Lauren, who in a flash of self-depreciating humour admits the convenience of technology is to blame for making her forget how to spell asparagus. But she’s way above Nelly level.
Time to fast forward through the adds for Coles’ Easter seafood specials. If you are buying seafood for the weekend, would you really buy it at Coles? Chris and Cookie are doing tempura prawns with wombok salad and dipping sauce. That’s a whole lotta peeling and poop chute scoopin’. If they can power through the prep it should be a winner.
The Sisters are making spicy coconut mussels with lemongrass rice. Again they are worried about not having a rice cooker, but it worked out for them last time. Tarq and Dad (geez – is there never an end to these contestants?) have Singapore chilli crab with egg noodles and coriander salad. This would be my pick to order, as they are fiddly beasts to prep and cook properly.
Zana is deep frying olives to put in her salad. I’ve never had one but it sounds fab.
Halfway through prep time Carmine and Lauren have not touched their fish, instead concentrating on their 1001 accompaniments.
Fass comes over to check on the Miners and gives them numerous hints their plan to cook the fish in the oven and then crisp the skin in a pan is a bad one. Seriously, guys – even the fishmonger told you to do the skin in the pan first. But fate intervenes and it seems their oven is not even switched on. So they’ll have to start it off in the pan now, surely? Did Fass sneakily pull out their electrical cord to save them from themselves?
Fass heads over to Lauren and Carmine to put the wind up them for doing candied walnuts when they should be cooking salmon.
The Sisters are getting frazzled but bickering is the way they work best, so they should be fine.
JP is having tuna dramas with the heat of his pan and the crumb falls off, and Carmine and Alex are stuffing up their crispy fish skins. The perils of cooking outdoors on a commercial stove.
And here come the fisherfolk on their trawlers and narry a yellow oilskin jacket or chunky blue jumper in sight. They are all dressed rather prettily. Time for the judges to taste.
The cauli chips are crisp and delish , the aioli is yum and trout cooked properly. Hooray – a good dish from the Chopses! Perhaps they are finding their groove.
It looks good. “Beautiful,” says Colin. “Clever,” says Pete. Some woman in the crowd says she doesn’t eat much seafood but she likes this. Is she a ring in? Is this like on Farmer Wants a Wife when the girl who hates seafood put her hand up to date oyster farmer Jedd?
We cut to the Miners gaining confidence until a customer brings back undercooked fish. Aargh. There’s another one. And more. Why not ask the customers for tips – they’re the experts. Well, just not that one woman.
Fass is happy they at least did not oven bake it and his fish is moist. Pete agrees but his skin is burnt and he makes a “ho-hum” face regarding the rest of the dish.
There’s no elegant way to eat crab and Colin must be hoping wardrobe has a good trick to get sauce stains out of the dapper beige jacket in which they’ve dressed him. Pete: “That is cooked to perfection. This dish is a knockout.” Colin likes the dressing on the noodles, too.
Colin is disappointed with the lack of herbage: “I’ve got some badly chopped basil on top.” The tuna is well seared but it’s missing a dressing or soz.
So the bottom will be the Miners and Lovebirds – two of the weaker teams.
Time for the judging critique and it goes as expected. Colin gives Chris and Cookie’s prawns his dish of the day gong. And we can’t do a recap without a Zana face:
Nice to see the Chopses so happy with their praise from the judges. Colin bags them for calling four green beans on a plate with some sauce “Asian beans”. Tasia and Gracia’s sauce was the best Pete tasted today. Pete tries to fake them out that they are at risk, but no way.
People’s Choice goes to … Carmine and Lauren. What the …! They are safe from the next two eliminations.
The teams the judges are sending to Sudden Death are Alex and Gareth, who take the news graciously, and JP and Nelly. Called it!
I’m thinking JP and Nelly have a better grasp of cooking but Nelly could have a meltdown in the kitchen.
We get the teaser of Manu saying: “I’d prefer to have no soz at all then to have this.”
Sounds like another race to the bottom, which is such a comedown after the last Sudden Death cook off.
Welcome to Autumn, everyone. It’s Dee Day and she’s let poor hubby Harry Potter out from under the stairs to help in the kitchen. Bet he wishes he knew the Avada Kedavra curse ….
Sadly this is the last night The Khoo will be on MKR. Nooooo ….
Unfortunately I can’t watch til after 10pm, so have at it with the comments.
Here we go … Look how happily married we are. For reals.
Dee and downtrodden Harry Potter husband (please, can someone please save him from his cupboard under the stairs and send him off to Hogwarts) head off to the shops with 7 hr 30 mins on the clock. So that’s 4 hrs 30 mins to shop and decorate, which seems a long time – are all the nearby Coles stores not pretty enough for TV?
In the car they get the background music of the novelty song, Macarena, because Dee is, you know, Spanish, and that’s the all they had on file. Remember this? This was 20 years ago – feeling old yet?
Dee is coaching Tim on how to say the names of their Spanish dishes, but I don’t hold out much hope given he’s one of those people who says “pronunciation” as “pro-nounce-iation”.
The menu
Entree: Lentijas – Spanish lentil soup with chorizo (sounds not very technical – it’s no twice-baked souffle)
Main: Albondigas Patatas Bravas – Spanish meatballs with potatoes and spicy sauce (I’ve only had these as two separate tapas – not togetether)
Dessert: Flan de Huevo (Spanish creme caramel)
And here’s our last-ever shot of The Khoo and The Fass – or do we call them by their celeb couple name Khoonidge or Fassoo – critiqueing the menu. Look at us, in new outfits and pretending we don’t film all these bits on one day.
In Coles, we learn Dee has written her shopping list course by course, rather than food groupings, so there will be a lot of time wasted running back and forth. That’s ok; it’s not like there’s a clock counting down or anything.
Harry Potter wipes his schnozz on the veg and this is a bigger crime than last night’s egg shaking. Who’s ever heard of a schnozzberry?
Sure, sniff away but don’t leave boogers on veg you have not paid for. Plus, they are supermarket tomatoes – if they had any tomatoey scent you’d fall over in shock.
After two hours in Coles and with still more shopping to do, Dee concedes she stuffed up the shopping list. Do you reckon she normally does online shopping and never sets foot in a real supermarket?
Finally home, they rush through the setting up of their travel-themed restaurant but still get into the kitchen way behind, with 2:28 on the clock. Tim gets cracking on the dessert as it needs time to set. His caramel looks pale, but maybe that’s the Spanish way.
Dee is micromanaging him, but in their confessional – with Dee within knifing distance – he tells the camera he loves being told what to do. But he’s blinking H-E-L-P in Morse code.
Modest Dee gets out the flour: “Bread. I make it every day. To me, it’s really easy. I’m pretty confiedent it’s going to be perfect.” So, we know something goes wrong with the bread.
And then it gets worse – she says she has changed the soup recipe from the traditional way she and her mum have always cooked. Normally she fries the chorizo first but she just chucks them in whole. Yeah, skip the frying, Dee, why would you want to add amazing flavour and texture to your dish? Might as well just chuck in some cocktail franks instead.
She goes to make the second batch of bread – the one Harry Potter started – and it’s not working and she instantly gets super whiny and oh this is going to get so much worse as the night goes on. And it does within two seconds when she sees her sauteeing onions are slightly brown. Instead of picking out the few browned ones she has a total tantie. Can Jessica come back instead – all is forgiven!
Then the tears start. My four-year-old has more self control.
Tim attempts to calm her down and she gets it together, only to realise she forgot to put the ham hock in the soup. Those lentils are going to be flavourless mush by the time that ham gets boiling.
Then she points out he’s left the sticker on a lemon that’s been sliced for drinks – let’s hope Lauren gets that one. She gets increasingly cranky that he’s making sangria when the kitchen looks like this: This is all Tim’s fault; none of this mess is Dee’s. Not even the lentils and veg which are from her soup.
And then this happens: Tim’s wishing he could drink the whole bottle.
And he splashes wine an inch away from their precious flans.
We’re only 25 minutes already in and theirs already been more drama and tension than the whole of last night’s episode.
The guests arrive and I was wrong: Channel 7 has one other Spanish song in its music library. It’s Bamboleo, by The Gypsy Kings. And here are the judges, looking schmick, as per usual, and they get the cool kids music of Goldfrapp We Are Glitter. Last time Rachel arrives at an MKR house.
The guests peruse the menus and they are done in a cool airline-ticket style, but it’s all in Spanish – no translation – which is pretentious.
Back in the kitchen, Dee’s soup just needs one more thing: cumin powder. And what have they bought? Coriander powder. Fail! Again, it’s all Harry Potter’s fault even though they went shopping together. “Anywhere but my face, Deeze.”
This is where frying off the chorizo would have helped, both to impart flavour and look more appetising on top of the soup.
It’s chew o’clock …
The Fass was happy with the hearty, peasant-style look of the dish, but that was it. The lentils weren’t cooked, the onion was raw, the chorizo wasn’t caramelised, there wasn’t enough flavour: “What I got was not very good.” The Khoo says it’s obvious they had trouble in the kitchen. Yep, her name is Dee.
She tears up and Lauren can’t hide her disgust, thinking she’s going for the sympathy vote. The only nice thing the guests can say is they liked the bread, so Lauren – who’s on the bottom of the leaderboard – is happy again.
Back in the kitchen they get to work on the meatballs and Harry Potter is tasked with toasting the homemade bread for crumbs in the oven. And burns the bread. And not in a gourmet “ash is cool” kind of way.
At least they have a back-up packet of breadcrumbs. Dee then gives hubby the complicated task of rolling meatballs.
It’s taking them ages – the guests are very restless – and, foolishly, Dee has made hubby wait til the rolling is done until they start browning meatballs, even they can only fit a few in the pan at a time.
And the ones he has done are raw in the middle. She’s a very supportive wife: “Just cook them! You’re pissing me off.”
Run away, Harry – don’t let the Dementor get you!
Why don’t they chuck them in the oven to finish off? They are plating up and it looks awful. Apparently they had a different vision for the dish, but it would be hard to make it look pretty, even if it was well cooked.
Chew time … and The Fass is disappointed with the blahness of the dish: “You didn’t give me Spain. I didn’t travel nowhere.” Not only are the meatballs uncooked, the sauce is, too. The Khoo gives them cooking tips for next time and says the aioli – which is easy to make, but then Lisa had to do hers four times – is good. The potatoes should have been par-boiled before deep frying to get them crunchy. She tries to buck them up: “Show me a cracker of a dessert.”
Carmine and Lauren are dancing on the inside.
Dad No. 1, who has nibbled the edge of one meatball, sums it up when he says: “If we had been able to eat them, I reckon they might have been enjoyable, actually.”
Carmine and Lauren aren’t as used to being tactful. “I would say they are going home already,” he tells the table, which is just the sort of comment to make people want to boot you from the comp.
Back in the kitchen they know they’ve screwed up, but at least their dessert is mostly done. The creme caramels slide out of the ramekins pretty well, and the two slightly bodgy ones are headed for Carmine and Lauren. The caramel looks super pale, and the side garnish of three raspberries and two whole, giant mint leaves is weird. Why not serve the dessert on dark plates for contrast, with some kind of crumb and perhaps a tuille to scoop with? Yes, that would be beyond their abilities but they could have done something else to fancy it up.
Time for the judges to masticate …
The Khoo liked the plating but says the caramel was under. The Fass agrees but found the garnish “pedestrian”.
Hazel loves the flan and it’s generally well received, although no-one seems to have touched their mint leaves, perhaps because they’d need a knife to cut them.
Just before scoring time, Lauren is winning friends: “I hate to think that, if I had cried my eyes out, that would have saved me. I’m not going to put on tears just because I want to win votes.”
Time for the team scores but, oh, that’s right, we have to go back to HQ for the reveal. They need to beat Carmine and Lauren’s 51 and if everyone scores fairly, Dee and hubby will get the boot for having two inedible dishes.
Judges: Entree Khoo 3, Fass 2; Main Khoo 2, Fass 2; Dessert Khoo 6, Fass 6. The guest teams gave a combined score of 11/50, for a total of 32.
Bye bye, Dee, and – sniff – bye, Rachel Khoo. Please come back next year for more than four eps.
The other teams file back in, 15 in total. As with last year, the bottom two teams will go another round with Pete and Manu. At the end, two teams will get the boot. So it’s out of The Ducks Nutters, The Miners, The Cops, The Stepsies, Carmine and Lauren and SA Besties Rosie and Paige. From the promos, MKR is relying on Lauren to stir the pot.
We’re in country Victoria at the newly built home of Eve and Jason, “Vic Soulmates”, and oh my lordy those mutton chops are hideous but she loves them – so, ok, they are perfectly suited. They are eco hippie tree changer types who believe in real food.
Looks like they live about an hour from the nearest Coles, so let’s hope they got everything on the list.
The Fassnidge is in the house! And bragging his team won last year. Who was that again? Oh, yeah, these Poms:
A distant memory.
Hippies’ menu
Entree: Herb-crusted rainbow trout in fish broth (Colin notes he wants mellow hairbs).
Main: Mediterranean rolled leg of lamb with roast vegetables.
Dessert: Stout and chocolate pudding.
And, yes, finally someone who buys decent 70 per cent dark chocolate for their dessert – Zana, take note.
Back home they set up the restaurant “Bread and Brew” in a shed away from the house, so it could be tricky walking plates across the rocky ground from their new kitchen.
Eve gets on to the lamb but somewhat scarily announces she is not really familiar yet with her new, albeit lovely and huge oven.
They need stock for their sauce using lamb bones, which could be rather fatty, so this could come back to bite them.
The Soulmates (sounds jazzier than plain old Married, I guess) are painstakingly boning the trout.
Here come the other guests; more people for us to meet and forget. They are impressed with the home brew setup in the dining shed except one woman, Dee (the one in the cutesy dress with Peter Pan collar) who hates beer. I sympathise – not a fan myself.
We meet the other teams: Hazel and Lisa, stepmum and stepdaughter – not sure which is which. Hazel is the mum, I think. Their penchant for dressing alike is disturbing.
Spot the stepmum.
Mike and Bloke Whose Name I Didn’t Catch, but he’s a professional golfer, are father and son, from north of Cairns. Looks like they will be good at seafood.
Adelaide’s Carmine and Lauren are the Plus One and Zana of this round, but Carmine actually gets to speak: “If you’re Italian and you’re not a good cook, there’s something wrong.”
New Zana and Plus One 2.0
Turns out dads Chris and Cookie from Newcastle have known each other since they were sprogs.
Dads.
Dee and the bespectacled Tim are from Sydney and are recently married, and you can tell they are on the show because she wanted to do it. She’s the new villain.
The Fassnidge rocks up and he has a surprise guest with him from the UK – what’s the bet the guests were thinking it was Jamie or Heston? But, as we at home have known for ages, it’s Rachel Khoo looking fabulous in her yellow-and-white striped dress. (To find out more about what she’s wearing, go to http://khoollect.com/lifestyle/rachel-khoos-australian-fashion-picks/)
Will the guests know who she is?
Hazel at least recognises the “amazeballs” Rachel – the seating plan is no accident, it seems.
Golfer’s name flashes on the screen and it’s Tarq – presumably short for Tarquin so no wonder he shortens it.
We know your name is really Tarquin.
In the kitchen the Soulmates are taking the fish out of the oven and placing it in a bowl (how cute was that vintage-look crockery) of broth, topped with some crispy skin. Yum!
Chew time … Rachel likes the different textures but says the crust “smothered” the fish, which is slightly overcooked. Colin, who’s a big nose-to-tail man, applauds their clever use of the fish, the bones and the skin, but says the oat crumb sucked up some moisture from the fish and the use of rosemary was a bad call. Perhaps they didn’t have dill in their garden?
Still, they’ve done pretty well, being first up and cooking tricky rainbow trout.
Dee and new Zana are the most critical at the table but it’s the first night so everyone is still polite.
Back in the kitchen Hippie Chick checks on the lamb and it’s very overcooked. Well, she did say she was putting it on for three hours. They need a meat thermometer. So in addition to crimes against fashion and facial hair we have crimes against lamb. It’s hard to hate on them, though, when they seem so relatively normal and drama free. What are they doing on MKR? Oh yeah, this hair:
Sir, there’s a Tribble climbing your neck.
At the table talk turns to how food evokes memories, and Cookie tears up a little because he is missing his kids … awwww. Colin has a chat with him and this is the sort of thing we miss in earlier rounds because Pete and Manu get whisked away between courses.
Poor Soulmates are stressed because their lamb is literally stuffed and now their roast veg isn’t cooking quickly enough in their untried oven. Finally they take their hearty serves to the table and Dee is right when she questions calling the dish Mediterranean. The veg is definitely old school Aussie. Must be some sundried tomato or olives in the stuffing.
Chew o’clock … the judges have been given the pinkest lamb. Rachel liked the generosity of the plating but wanted more stuffing and actual Mediterranean veg. Colin says they have good products but bad time management. He praises their sauce.
The guests agree the lamb was overcooked but they feel for the team. Dee is clear that she hated everything, especially parsnip. She said earlier she is Spanish, so maybe she’s never tried it before.
In the kitchen Hippie Dude is in charge of dessert and I’m worried because he keeps saying how well everything is going.
At least they do a taste test.
It looks very simple – maybe they should have done an ice cream with it.
Chew time … Colin is happy with the dark choc and ooze, but wanted more booze. Rachel likes the simplicity of the presentation but hers was a little under, yet still tasty.
Most people at the table enjoy it but new villain Dee finds it too rich. Luckily she instead enjoys correcting hubby on the use of cooking show terminology by telling him to say the cream “cuts through” the richness.
Dee will chop off hubby’s man parts if he speaks too much.
The scores
Teams: Devious Dee and Hubby 5; Step Twins 4; Dad Mates 6; Father and Golfer 5; New Zana and Plus One 2.0 6. Some tough scorers in this group – the other rounds were much softer on the first-up cooks.
Judges: Entree Colin 5 (but he actually says quite nice things), Rachel 6; Main Colin 3, Rachel 4; Dessert Colin 7, Rachel 8 (and a good tip from her to chill the batter in the ramekins first).
Total: 59.
Next week it’s Carmine and Lauren and we get the teaser of Dee pulling faces and telling the camera “it’s murder … This dish belonged in the bin.” Ooh, drama, drama, drama.
