Talking TV (Test)
What are you watching?
Final reveal tonight and open for inspections tomorrow.
So we have the first half hour dedicated to justifying why Sara and Hayden are excluded.
Every season there is a couple that is isolated but this year is so brutal and really is quite ugly.
First half hour is utter shite.
FFS, can they stop with the winner’s edit for Jess. Stop using your kids pretending to be a good person.
Pig’s arse it’s all good, Norm and Jess. It’s all fucked.
Norm lamely brandishes an empty paint roller and looks like a complete tool….but it’s all good.
Courtney and Hans: The judges spew forth some random words: ‘St Kilda 3182’. ‘I feel like I am St Kilda’. (We should hope so) . ‘This is so amazing’.
CH have delivered the kitchen of Neale’s dream. ‘This is hot!’ exclaims Darren.
All the judges love the bench tops. ‘It is very sensual’ notes Shaynna as it is rubbed inappropriately. This is a kitchen that acknowledges where you live life. The styling is ‘Precision styling’. Alexa, please burn the kitchen down. Yes, apparently, the oven is voice activated.
The kitchen breaks the golden triangle rule as they desperately search for the sub zero fridge,
More fawning over the butler’s pantry. Enough of the ever increasingly annoying Courtney.
Sara and Hayden: The artwork is retro (and liked) but they are slammed for their styling in the hallway. This is a couple that doesn’t style but just plop things down. The frame doesn’t look luxurious. (Because a cheap frame will deter you from buying the overpriced Monopoly set).
They are slammed for the execution of the painting particularly along the skirting (which Jess slapped on).
The judges like the fold back doors on the study.
They won’t win as they are hated.
Haters gonna hate.
Norm and Jess: Of course, they love the tacky (sorry corny) It’s all good neon light
The Christian Cole table is stunning. The styling is simple. They love that the grain of the table runs vertical to the floor boards.
Little arrangement on the table is all wrong. Hate the Shelley picture and rainbow giraffe. (Think Carlene calls them vignettes).
The judges loved the crossed light (sorry lighting schedule).
The judges think it is a strong room.
Judge~ “Like, this is hot!”
Like, give me strength. Like, I can’t stand the heat.
Carla and Bianca: What is with the dead clown on the couch? asks Neale.
Did the Girls get the short end of the budget? queries Shaynna. They would not do this in their own apartment, Why would they do it here?
The judges are appalled that it looks like they have gone to Ikea to style the space. There is bespoke cabinetry everywhere but here wails Darren.
Neale piles on, gesturing to the space, it is kitchen, dining and rumpus not kitchen, dining and living.
It feels very low cost, very young uni student. No, interjects Neale, it is cheap.
The lighting is great though.
Kerry and Spence: Oh wow! Is that a baby grand? The judges are gob smacked.
The judges love the artwork. It is a little wrinkled though.
LOL. The judges love the bar across the window. Yes, because people want views of the 7-11 across the road on a Saturday night.
Then Neale pretends to play the piano as Shaynna sings.
Now we have fake crying from Jess. This has been one long audition for a national drive time radio slot for her.
Thanks, Maz for putting the initials this week. Helps us part-timers who can’t remember what state everyone comes from.
Everyone wants speakers in the ceiling, right? Will look great next to my smoke alarm.
A table & chairs, a neon sign, some trinkets and paint for one zone. Four ‘rooms’ for another zone. Arpartments 2 & 3 setup with the largest reserve reductions, then K&S. Appears they expect bumpkins have the winning edge.
Definitely inequitable division of the zones. Nothing much in the dining room. The neon sign was horrible but not surprised the judges loved it.
Wasn’t that the whole point of this apartment? To bring the poorly-performed teams up to a point where they might have a chance?
I would never want a kitchen without a refrigerator. Having to walk across a hallway in order to get items out of the refrigerator is ludicrous. I could see a secondary refrigerator being located there but not the one and only refrigerator. Too much glass, too, IMO. I imagine that it will get dirty easily. Gantry just looked like it was in the way. Judges didn’t even look to see if there was a bin and they made a big deal about that in all the other apts.
Dead clown on sofa…LOL. When I saw that the first thought that came to mind was “clown”. The living room did look cheap. However, Neale criticizes everything except the crappy cart. Weird.
Amazed that they thought the study was Sara’s and Hayden’s best work. Didn’t see anything impressive in there. Close the door and your stuck in a box.
Laughed when the judges acted as if they were shocked that there was a baby grand piano on the terrace as if they didn’t know that ahead of time. As for Shayna’s singing, muting the sound or putting ear plugs in would be beneficial.
I think that the winner of that apt. would be smart to sell the piano and trash/sell the neon sign which should read, “This is REALLY BAD!”. Remove the sign and put a small buffet in that area.
The layouts of all of the apartments could have been better. Some of the room placements and sizes made no sense.
The shelves above island were way too low.
The architect of these apartments has done themself no favours showing their ‘skill’ to millions. So much wasted space in the halls, although you gotta love a wide hall. The pantry waaaay ooooveeer the other side of the hall is just dumb.
Plantation shutters on a deco era building in St Kilda is also dumb.
And, one more, the lounge area in final apartment was too small in comparison to dining area. I’d be swapping them.
Just watched Dan and Dani to see the rooms. What a general mess. The only room I liked was the terrace, but even then the artwork was tasteless, IMO. I liked the piano (as a player) but it needed to be a good classic instrument, not a digitally-corrupted one. But I liked this room for all the rest of the design, not just that it had a piano. Should have been the winner by far.
The kitchen was very meh. Too OTT and ostentatious, impractical to use, and how horrible to have to clean kitchen grime from all those glass shelves. The dining room table was bland (could be made for an HSC major work). The size was good though. The neon sign – just tat. D&D didn’t show the lounge very clearly, but it seemed quite hotch-potch – funny that Dani dissed the rhino head that they fought for. The hall zone was completely let down by the architectural design – so wasteful and impractical. You would be tempted to add a few stud walls to extend the rooms out into the hallway. Once again the artwork was awful.
The Dan and Dani walkthrough looked like they had cut out a lot of Dani’s comments. She is often silent, and is actually cut off mid-sentence while talking about the neon sign. Wonder if she was trying not to be negative but couldn’t think of what to say. Most of Dan’s comments were about the construction and not the result.
I don’t understand this “St Kilda” thing. Much nicer places to live in Melbourne and the judges seem to think it is full of people who like terrible art. The Gatwick’s previous residents must wonder why they were turfed out.