Tonight Flirty Girl and The Other One cook in WA and the ad is making it out to be a triumph. We shall see. At least if the Flirty Vet is in the Kitchen we won’t have to endure excruciating banter between her and Brown Beard, or the dreadful “hashtag, get a room” from David and Betty.
— #MKR (@mykitchenrules) 5 February 2017
It starts with the producers making Flirty Vet pretend to be swiping on Tinder – ick! I would really like to hear something about her life as a vet to remind us she must have a brain.
They start by driving 40 mins out of their way to get their fish for main: WA Goldband snapper with a fennel, fig and pear salad. The fillets look gorgeous.
Entree is a roasted vegie tart and dessert is profiteroles with orange custard and choc sauce.
Geez, they are spending a lot less time this year showing scenes from Coles – did they reduce their sponsorship amount?
They arrive home with the clock having just started cooking. They want their instant restaurant to seem like a music festival, but there are no muddy puddles in sight. They have, however, ensure the guests will be eating in a plastic hotbox of a marquee. Pity the poor judges in their suits.
— Channel 7 (@Channel7) 5 February 2017
In the kitchen, the girls can’t find the grater. This is sooo not their house. They have decided to “season” their vegie tarts with raw garlic – and they are using cream cheese, which is kinda weird. Ricotta with feta would be more usual.
Tonight Pete and Manu have swapped their traditional colours and Pete gets to wear white and Manu the mid-blue.
BFF Goal #1 – always look the best. It's a tight race tonight. pic.twitter.com/p7BJy0vtSQ
— #MKR (@mykitchenrules) 5 February 2017
The menu is revealed and, tonight, David will be playing the role of Tyson as he and Hashtag Girl try and get off the bottom of the leaderboard. Why do they think being critical in public will influence others? Unless they’ve decided to go for the villain role also.
Flirty Vet is having choux pastry dramas. What has she done? It looks more like a lumpy bechamel. Did she put eggs in? She reckons she added too much milk and has more success next time. Again, no sign of egg.
They are having vegie dramas and they need more cooking but bite the bullet and pull the trays out so they can use the oven for other things. It’s poor menu planning, having everything reliant on one appliance. Their tart shells are shrinking and they end up looking more like discs. Did they even rest the dough and chill the cases before baking.
The sweet balsamic glaze drizzled over and tumbleweed of rocket is a bit 15 years ago.
ENTREE IS SERVED
(But first, an ad showing the girls freaking so, of course, they should buy heartburn tablets. What’s next? Gastro Stop?)
Manu says the raw garlic “does not belong”. “It kills the tart – big time,” he says. They’ve chopped the vegies too small and they are indistinguishable. Pete: “It seems a very, very strange choice to use cream cheese in a tart.”
The girls are rattled. One of the midwives says she liked it, the Hashtaggers are critical and the others are fence sitting and Betty is getting riled up, which is amusing Amy greatly.
In the kitchen, The Other One is stressed and has her pan temp up too high. Since it’s just fish and salad, they need to get it right. It looks like she is cooking fillets of a different thickness in the one pan. At least she knows she’s stuffed it up – some past contestants wouldn’t have a clue. I wonder if the pan is also borrowed.
At least 90 mins have passed since entree and the guests are getting loopier than usual.
Flirty is making the dressing and runs out of walnut oil. The Other One gives her a “You made me go on this show and embarrass myself” look. I hope Pete gives them a “how to cook fish” lesson.
MAIN IS SERVED
It looks bad and the girls know it – but the salad doesn’t look great, either, and that didn’t need any cooking. Flirty’s voiceover says she is having an out-of-body experience.
Pete: “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever had a dish like this in a competition. The fish was overcooked … the salad wasn’t dressed.” No excuse for that – if they ran out of oil for everyone they could at least have put some on the judges’ plates. Manu and Pete try to pep them up for the dessert. Most of the fellow contestants feel sooo awkward – mainly because they know they are going to have to taste the fish.
Back in the kitchen Flirty’s profiteroles are all different sizes and some are deflating. And then she adds 2 tablespoons of Cointreau to the chocolate sauce instead of 2 teaspoons. Have they not practised any of these dishes? Still, SA villains Lauren and Carmine had a disastrous start to the comp last year and they ended up coming second.
And then they scramble the custard. Uh oh …
That aside, even if it had gone as intended, it’s not much of a dessert. Not even any fruit to pretty it up or cut through the richness.
DESSERT IS SERVED
Pete says it’s their best dish of the night – he’s being kind – but they needed more than one profiterole. Manu says their choux were the wrong texture. David speaks his mind on the awfulness but everyone else’s tongues are glued to their mouths by that curdled custard. Why didn’t they just whip some cream to fill wit instead – surely they had some just in case?
So it looks like the “record-breaking” touted in all the ads is for the lowest scores evah!
Hashtags/Real Villains: 4
Fairly generous, really. Worse is to come.
Entree: Pete 1; Manu 1
Main: Manu 1; Pete 1
Dessert: Manu 2; Pete 3 (generous, Pete!)
Ouch – that is bad. “I’m sorry to say that is the lowest score ever in the history of My Kitchen Rules,” says Pete. Poor girls – that was a trainwreck.
The SA beardies get to cook and I reckon they will be good. Since we’ve yet to have anything outstanding, decent meals are long overdue.