MKR – Wed, Mar 16

We’re at Sydney Olympic Stadium and finally we get to see cooking from Zana and Plus One, Dads/Mates and the Italians. They have to cook for 200 future Olympians, Paralympians and trainers, so the food has to be tasty and nutritious.
As Jordan, looking foxy in this shirt …

Foxy Jordan, just for you, Windsong.
Foxy Jordan, just for you, Windsong.
… says, the Dads have an advantage here as one is a nutritionist.
The “ather-leets”, as Colin calls them, vote for their fave, who will be safe from the next two eliminations. Pete and Colin will choose the two weakest teams, who will enter a sudden death cook-off, as per last night’s Duck Nutters V Lauren and Carmine. (Where’s Manu? Filming new Campbell’s stock ads? It’s been the Colin and Pete show the last two nights.)
It looks like a hot day but luckily they provide the contestants with hats, so there should be no Survivor-style near death experiences (well, until the atherleets eat the food).

Zana, the germaphobe is not keen on cooking outside because there could be “dust and bacteria flying everywhere”. I don’t think she went camping as a kid. They base their dish on a good protein choice, chicken livers, but given the athletes are all quite young the offal is a worrying choice. Their dish is “Loaded capsicum” with chicken livers and sweet potato chips”. But they are not actually writing the word “liver” on their menu board. Hope no vegetarians take a bite.
Jordan and Anna are doing Sweet potato and buckwheat gnocchi with kale pesto. I’ve never seen buckwheat gnocchi but kale is such an overrated “superfood” and it’s icky. Pete should love this one.
Oh no – both Italians are wearing hats, so I can’t tell which one is Hat and which one is Sans Hat. They are making veal involtini with spinach and polenta sticks. Yum!
The Lovebirds are doing chilli beef on sweet potato with a power salad.
Lauren and Carmine are gym-going types so should know what athletes like. They are doing herb chicken with roast veg quinoa. As Lauren says, they have cooked more than most of the teams there so are used to performing under pressure.
Pete hasn’t even seen the Dads/Mates cook before. They are making Mexican chicken tortilla cups.
The Sisters are bickering and hats off to the editors for playing the Muppet Show theme.

Anyone else know their names are Statler and Waldorf? I didn't until just now.
Anyone else know their names are Statler and Waldorf? I didn’t until just now.

They are making quinoa-crusted chicken with grain salad and coriander dressing. Hope there’s a decent whack of veg in there. They plan it to be a healthy version of a schnitty.
Tarq and Dog, er, Dad are making spiced prawns with peshwari curry and wholemeal roti.
As they cook some athletes train in the background, and the camera only cuts to jiggling hurdler Michelle Jenneke once every segment.
Paige and Rosie are doing dukkah-crusted lamb with pistachio and quinoa salad. They are keen to redeem themselves after the RSL duck with watermelon salad.
Colin comes over to check Mr and Mrs Chops aren’t using jars. They are doing pork fillet with pearl couscous and harissa. Can’t say I’d cook pork for a Pork Ambassador when I was already on his hit list.
Everyone’s getting hot and flustered and the pressure is getting to poor Rosie – luckily Paige has her back and Colin gives her a pep talk.

The Miners are making fish tacos with corn salsa and guacamole. Sounds tasty, simple and good summer food – please don’t stuff it up, boys! The are using a pasta machine to roll their taco dough – hope it’s not too thin.
With 15 minutes to go some teams are in a better place than others. It’s so hot it looks like Zana’s false eyelashes are sticking to her eyebrows. The judges like the sound of Anna and Jordan’s buckwheat gnocchi but not so much Lauren and Carmine’s chicken quinoa.
JP and Nelly are worried their sweet potatoes aren’t cooked. Which is because they chucked them in the oven whole, instead of chopping them in half and wrapping in foil to conduct more heat.

It’s service time and Zana and Plus One have nothing to serve.
Gareth (Man Bun Miner) gets the Duck Nutters Memorial Juss Award from pronouncing tortilla as “tor-till-a”. At least non-Man Bun knows how to say it. The judges like the look of their dish. “That’s a good dish,” says Colin. “I’d pay for that.” I can’t wait to see the lads’ faces when they finally get a good critique.

Tasia and Gracia’s chicken gets the thumbs up for its delicious herby sauce.

Anna and Jordan’s gnocchi is “delicious”, says Pete.

Lauren and Carmine’s chicken is “a bit burnt” says Pete and the pumpkin is still raw. can you imagine Lauren’s reaction if she is sent back to sudden death? She’ll have Carmine fitting the judges with concrete boots.

JP and Nelly’s chilli beef with power salad is a bit heavy for the weather. Pete just likes the salad.

The lamb and quinoa by Rosie and Paige is ok but could be better.

Chris and Cookie’s tortilla cups get respect but could do with more seasoning, says Colin. Pete reckons the athletes will lap it up.

With 15 minutes left of service Zana and Plus One still haven’t plated up a dish. Their sweet potato chips just aren’t cooking. Forget the chips and serve the capsicum at least! Zana is only happy with the livers and bursts into tears. A lovely athlete comes over to give her a buck up.
Mr and Mrs Chops serve tender pork but it’s a bit bland, although Colin says “it’s a good dish”. Redemption for the Chopses!

Finally, the judges taste Zana’s food and Pete says the chips look “sad”. The capsicum isn’t cooked and one poor girl breaks her cutlery trying to saw through it.

The Italians are putting on a show for their waiting customers, singing That’s Amore. “It’s not singing to me at the moment,” says Colin. They think it looks drab and the veal is dry.

Tarq and Dad have done a lot of work to get those elements done, they didn’t back off on the spice and Pete says it’s “rockin'”.

So, are we thinking bottom two Lauren and Zana?
Time for the judges’ critiques and it’s more of what we saw earlier, except Colin ask the Sisters for their coriander sauce recipe – high praise indeed. It was nice to see the Chopses’ relief and Jordan’s reaction to Pete’s praise. The Miners must think they are dreaming when Pete says “nothing to fault”. Good on them.
The team that’s the atherleets’ choice is Anna and Jordan. Yay! That was a tricky dish to pull off.
Sudden death teams are Zana and Plus One and Luciano and Martino. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! This is the point in the competition where those who do well under pressure thrive, even if they are not the best cooks.

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brain dead dave

I can see new Long Jump and Long Distance records being set by athletes trying to get away from some of the creations tonight.

Augurs well for Rio. Oi Oi Oi.


Maybe they are hoping it will give them the runs. Get it? Boom boom!


Is polenta the ‘it’ food on MKR? I am having polenta tomorrow. Adelaide here I come.


Yes. Andre Cucina.

Thanks for the head up about road closure.

brain dead dave

Can’t afford a marquee, MKR?


So far…..Tasia and Gracia need sub-titles, can’t understand a bloody thing they are saying.
Choppers ready to make medium rare pork, good thing they are near Westmead
We haven’t seen much of the miners so far, middle of the pack?
Where are the activated almonds?


I was thinking about the same thing when Tasia and Garcia speak but I can understand them perfectly. I grew up in Malaysia and Singapore and familiar with the accent.


Ending in lah are the Malaysian and Singaporean


I can’t understand the italianos, sometimes even in the confessionals. They just talk way too fast. Which is a bit of a worry, as Sans Hat doesn’t even have an accent!


If this episode is going to be 90 minutes of Lauren complaining about the fact that the other teams don’t think she’s a good cook, I swear to goodness, I’m out of here.

On the other hand, I love that even Jordan’s hand-writing is adorable.


Did you notice his foxy shirt Windsong?


I did notice his foxy shirt!


I noticed Jordan’s shirt more than Windsong did!


Jordan is getting more adorable each day and he can cook. Much better than The Miners. I guess it is only me but I can’t stand their voice. They both speak in the same manner.


Are we headed to a Zana, Lauren showdown?


If there’s any justice in the world, then YES.


Did Zana seriously just say, “I don’t like cooking in kitchens that aren’t mine!”?

… did she realise what kind of show “My Kitchen Rules” was? Has she even watched this show before? What the hell? Meanwhile, I wish Whathisface would just shave that thing off his chin. That’s just on my nerves, right now. And he’d be so much more handsome without it.


wow, I’m surprised about the Italians. The veal looked awful though. Very dry. Must have really sucked to be worse than dry flavourless chicken and raw pumpkin. Carmine and Lauren were very lucky.
Zana living up to expectations, I thought she would struggle in the germ ridden outdoors.


I missed most of the show as was out, got home in time for the last few minutes. How did the italianos get in the bottom 2???? I had them picked to be in the final 2 of the whole show….WTF


Spoiler alert, Lauren and Carmine’s food sucks. Again. Lauren, sweety? There’s a theme here, and you maybe need to pay attention.


This time she can’t blame the other teams for her bad dish. Straight from the judges.


No episode on Sun


“Foxy Jordan, just for you, Windsong.”

Thank you Juz!

I did notice this, and then spent a minute trying to figure out the pattern, and then all I could hear was that silly “What does the fox say?” song. Gosh, if he was any more adorable he’d be a health hazard. I actually cheered out-loud when he and Anna won the athlete’s choice (I wasn’t actually surprised, given how channel 7 had been subtly trying to hint at it, with all the comments from the athletes about the gnocchi). I’m also glad the miners finally stepped up and actually cooked something edible for a change.

The ending was a bit of a surprise. Zana is obnoxious, but her IR round proved at least that they could cook. For them and the Big Gay Italians in a sudden death cook-off? I want the Italians to stick around, but channel 7 probably thinks that Zana is far more entertaining. And we won’t have gotten the Lauren/Zana showdown, which would redeem a lot of this nonsense.


I want the Lauren/Zana encounter but I want the Italians to stay more. On a completely vacuous note, Zana looks so much better when wardrobe haven’t applied a hectare of lipstick to her face.


Great recap, juz. It’s good to see the photos of the dishes.


Surprised to see Zana and Gianni and the Italianos in sudden death. The Italianos veal looked horrible and inedible. Hope that they will come back and stay in the competition.
At least Lauren and Carmine did not make another ragu dish.


Like others here I really didn’t want to see either team in a cook off yet. I voted for the Italianos and was really surprised at their dish.

Carmen had a lucky break this time.


I’ve got no idea why the show refers to the Big Gay Italians as the Italianos. About thirty seconds’ research would tell them that the Italian for ‘Italians’ is ‘Italiani‘, and that ‘Italianos‘ is Spanish.

I guess research is just not their thing. Prolly too busy giggling at ‘juss’.

brain dead dave

I could have sworn one of the blackboards was offering “Chili” but I can’t be bothered rehashing the footage proving it. Could have had “Chile” or better still “chilly”. I guess that doesn’t matter to a weightlifter blocked on jungle juice. Rip into the “power salad”,,china.

I cringed when Colin said he “seed” or “seen” a dish coming out. Just when you thought it was going to be better after the juss freaks were sent packing.

Like Fijane said, there’s too many teams…….even with captions plus sound. Some contestants are being “chopped” out.

brain dead dave

Generally , I think Australian athletes are already given too much on a plate.

Last night was not really about food as much as 7’s massive promotion for the Olympics and Paralympics in Rio. Truth is modern professional sport smells as bad as a MKR dish.

Having a cook off on a sporting field makes as much sense as holding track and field events in a kitchen. The cream sank to the bottom~bad result.

Basically, the producers ought to be disqualified for their effort last night. It just went on, like a blister in the sun. Still, holding an outdoor event in Melbourne without a shooting occurring was an achievement.

The recap was rockin’, Juz.Ta.


Yeah, at one point there was an extended ad for some kind of sporting … thing (it didn’t advertise anything specific, it just had a bunch of athletes and ended with a big channel 7 logo), and that was the point I realised we were being played.


That was for the Rio Olympics, and our family were glued to the ad, enjoying seeing all the unknown athletes getting some recognition. Much more fun than regular ad.


Thing is, I liked seeing all the water polo players. Well, specifically the males ones.

This post was really unnecessary, wasn’t it?


I’m finding the sheer number of teams a bit of a strain at the moment. Too many dishes to try to remember and compare. Presumably the editors have the same problem, with almost no air time given to Chris and Cookie etc. They needed all the episode to follow Zana’s eye makeup procession and Lauren’s whinging.


I’m afraid that JP and Nelly? piss me off. Agree Fijame, sometimes Zana’s lashes were on, sometimes off!


I suspect with the extreme amount of airtime Zana has got since day dot that she’s being eliminated… got to milk her as much as possible before she departs I suppose.


I was surprised Lauren didn’t come up with another ragu dish as well!
It amazed me how Lauren was saying we can’t dish up fast enough for the crowd, they are loving it. Yes they were taking the dish because it sounded good but it doesn’t mean they were enjoying it, which in the end the judges definitely didn’t.

The Italianos also sang praises for their dish as well.
Some of these teams need to be a bit more humble and not blow their own trumpets. Then they wouldn’t look as foolish when it all comes undone.

Zara definitely picked the wrong crowd to dish up offals to as someone else commented, together with that big half raw capsicum, it wasn’t appealing at all.

I’m quite surprised they have two such excellent cooking teams as well as being full of character cooking off so early in the series.


Maybe their friends should be more honest with them. No extraordinary cooking skills that I’ve seen. Yet they seem convinced of their skills?
Two week break coming up for Easter.


Would Lauren and Zana’s friends be brave enough to be honest? Not sure I would.


The lack of imagination shown when coming up with dishes is surprising. Someone says the food has to be nutritious, so out comes the quinoa, kale, and sweet potato. Nutritious apparently equals trendy. Before that, they were all respecting the hell out of fresh produce. The contestants should just cook what they want, with no buzzwords to guide them. Then maybe the least imaginative (looking at you, Lauren, with interminable pasta and ragout) could be kicked out for serving boring as hell food. I don’t expect molecular gastronomy from this bunch, but something a bit more exciting than variations on polenta would be good.


And chicken livers.. and a thousand capsicums.


…buckwheat flour?

What they showed us for a pantry was a single display of mainly veg. I presume (as in many other challenges) that they had to submit their dish in advance. The brief would be “a type of street food, that is designed for super healthy people”. Then the production team scale it for the challenge, and make sure that the ingredients are there, in quantity. That is the only way that they could have had 100 red capsicums available. And the only way the teams could be that inventive in a short amount of time.


They also or Zana over emphazise on the 100 Capsicums. None of the teams will cook 100 portions of their food. 40 – 50 portions will be the most they prepared .


Careful with the ragu and ragout.

Judy Uren

Windsong. Did you know your beloved Jordan has an identical twin brother, Jonathon???!!!! Double swoon!!


Yeah, Jordan mentioned that he was a twin in his and Anna’s intro episode.

Jonathon’s not quite as handsome as Jordan (even identical twins tend to have slight, subtle differences as they grow older. It’s how I can tell the difference between Shawn and Aaron Ashmore), but damn, there are some good genes in that family. And the fact their morning gym sessions count as brother-bonding time is actually quite cute :).


Yeah, you guys don’t want to know where my mind’s going, right now.