Tag: recap

MKR – Wed – Zana and Plus One cook

Just a quick recap as I watch tonight. I’m thinking Zana and Gianni will be safe and it will be bye bye, Curlies. And remember there is more MKR tomorrow night.
And I reckon the weird thing Manu was holding up is a picked clean fish skeleton (totally stolen from my friend) and again they’ve tweaked the edit to amp up the drama. MKR lurves a good fake out.

Just got off a olane? As if.
Just got off a plane? As if.

Menu
Entree
Adriatic seafood stew
Sardines with capers, olives and bread (yep – this is totally what Manu is holding up)

What eez eet?
What eez eet?

Main
Burek cigars with figs and goat’s cheese (yum!)
Spiced lamb loin with chestnut puree and mushroom tart (doesn’t sound like their usual traditional fare)
Dessert
Nondaja’s tespixhe with citrus salad (Zana says it’s a semolina cake/biscuit with syrup and is “an acquired taste”. So, risky.)
Black Mountain chocolate molten lava cake

Zana is making filo pastry for both mains. That’s a huge job – and a huge risk.
The guests arrive to the strains of Rita Ora’s Poison (let’s hope that’s not a sign of things to come).
I can hear you all cringing as Lauren says: “These peeps are totes cashed up.”
Everyone’s dressed like they are going to a wedding and some of it’s not pretty (as per MKR stylist tradition).

Bellydancer.
Bellydancer.

Pretty
Pretty

Aspiring magician
Aspiring magician

Early 90s dress which makes her look abut 40
Early 90s dress which makes her look about 40
Zana and Gianni seem to be under control with their prep, but I pity poor Plus One trying to wash dishes and not ruin his crisp white cuffs.
The judges enter to the sound of Boom Clap by Charli XCX and Manu is back in the plum velvet jacket.

In the kitchen Zana is cooking the sardines and Gianni gets out the prawns, so of course we cut to Laura saying she’s not mad keen on seafood. She is right in that it is unusual to have two seafood dishes for entree, but she’s definitely providing the editors with ammo for her new sore loser edit. Still, she’s only 19 and it must be hard to “fail” on national TV, then have to sit through several more instant restaurants through gritted teeth when you know you’re probably going home.
Plus One tries to come the raw prawn but Zana doesn’t trust him and catches them in time. He stands by his call, though.

That's the biggest prawn I've ever seen.
That’s the biggest prawn I’ve ever seen.

Foolishly they did not get any spare seafood so can’t taste one. Why oh why does this still happen? MKR is paying – buy a bucketful of prawns!

Time to chew


Pete laboriously peels his mega prawn and for a germaphobe it seems Zana is happy to ingest prawn poo because it’s “traditional”.
prawnpoo
Manu loves sardines and, yes, that was a sardine skeleton he held up. But he thinks the dish lacked salt, which horrifies Zana given it had olives and capers in the sauce. However, they have been criticised for their lack of seasoning in the past.
Pete gets a bit aggro at them serving such a messy seafood dish when everyone is so dressed up. Surely if they’d modernised it they’d be bagged out for messing with tradition. This smacks of them trying to ramp up the tension to make a Laura V Zana cliffhanger. He says they should have cleaned the prawn and it lacked salt. “Apart from that it’s a smashing dish.” The seafood was cooked well (good one, Plus One). Zana wilts under the criticism.

Back in the kitchen
They’re organised with their mains but they do look more like entrees and – filo pastry making aside – rather simple. Before we know it it’s …

Time to chew


Pete, who had the burek cigars, says his burek was dry. The textures didn’t work and it was “average”.

Zana'a freaking out.
Zana’a freaking out.

Luckily, Manu “can’t fault” his lamb and chestnut dish.

Back in the kitchen, it’s on to dessert. Zana is happy with her squeegie dish (apologies to any Montenegran readers) and brushes off Plus One’s concern that the mascarpone is bland. He’s ready to tip out his molten lava caka AKA chocolate fondant, which must be the most troublesome dessert for cooking shows – perhaps after ice cream and panna cotta. It looks good but a cake, some ice cream and a coulis is a bit basic compared with some other team’s efforts.

Time to chew


Pete had the choc cake and says it was moist and rich, while not super lava-like. “This, is a great dessert. Strongest dish of the night for me.” Go Plus One!
Manu doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings because he knows it’s her grandma’s recipe “but I didn’t really enjoy it”. Ouch. He says it’s all rather savoury tasting (and, yes, Plus One was right on the mascarpone). Zana is totes devo.
The other teams who got the squeegee are looking longingly at the lava cake. Anna says it’s like cardboard.

Scores
We’re back in Kitchen HQ for the scoring, but first a reminder of the scores thus far. leaderboard

Judges
Entree Manu (sardines) 8; Pete (seafood stew) 8
Main Manu (lamb with chesnut) 10; Pete (burek) 5
Dessert Manu (squeegee) 3; Pete (choc cake) 9
Total 43/60
Teams: 28/40 Total: 71

This woman could do Pantene commercials.
This woman could do Pantene commercials.
Laura (who again they’ve applied make up to like she is 50, not 19) tears up, wishing she’d done MasterChef instead. Perhaps they’ll open a farm kitchen at their folks’ place. bye

Tomorrow night:S It’s the semi finals, with the Sisters V Zana and Plus One. Surely the Sisters will ace it, although they’ve never been in sudden death, so that’s a disadvantage. We know from the ad some cracker dishes are served up and the Fass sing’s someone’s praises, so it must really be good.



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MKR – Tues – Anna and Jordan cook

Anna and Jordan arrive home to a party that was not at all organised by the producers. They totally did not just leave their house, drive round the block and pull up out the front. Why does no-one else get a party? Other teams get a quick cuddle if they are lucky. Thank goodness Jordan is back in a nice shirt again.
It’s off to the shops and they are getting their fruit and veg at a greengrocer, not Coles. And their meat is from a specialty butcher but the blue swimmer crab comes from Coles (perhaps that was in the contract).

Menu
Entree
Gnocchi with mushrooms and truffle
Squid with almond tarator and citrus salsa (tarator is a type of soz)
Main
Black and white crab ravioli with a crab bisque
Suckling pig with apple and celeriac
Dessert
Rhubarb and ginger bombe Alaska
Vanilla panna cotta with espresso jelly and crostoli

It all sounds divine.
I can’t remember any team cooking a whole animal before so this will be cool to watch. Jordan says: “We’re lucky enough to have an outdoor kitchen with a commercial size oven.”
Anna and Jordan are multitasking like crazy in their two kitchens – they have so much to do. I can totally see Anna giving cooking demos or classes in the future. There’s a little light bickering, mainly because Anna won’t trust Jordan to do his job, which is the gnocchi. Surprised she didn’t do that one while he made dessert, which needs less intuition.
Here come the guests and Lauren is in a really nice dress, but then they show a confessional of her again mentioning the “two-fiddy-kay”. Urgh.
lauren dress

They love to put Zana in plunging necklines.
They love to put Zana in plunging necklines.
The guests are seated next door to the outdoor kitchen so are getting tantalising wafts of that piggy sizzling away. And here come Pete and Manu, to the strains of Dare by Gorillaz.

As the menus are read there are lots of happy smiles from the guests and I’m with the sisters – suckling pig all the way. Laura and Zana both think it’s a menu well within Anna’s capabilities. Poor Laura knows she’s on the chopping block and safe Lauren looks like the cat who’s got the cream.
Back in the kitchen Jordan is worried that Mama hasn’t assembled the bombe Alaskas yet – he seems to be in charge of time management. She listens but then, just as they are debating the best way to cook the squid, in comes Manu. I’ve never seen him come in so early before – are they trying to rattle them? Then, Jordan has gnocchi drama because they are so delicate and losing “pillowiness”, so Anna takes over. They do look delicious, though. There’s a bit of tension over cooking methods so Jordan takes over plating up while Anna cooks the protein, which is playing to each of their strengths. Plating done, they kiss and make up. “Come here – I want to apologise because I’m being a bitch,” Jordan says.

Time to chew


Manu tells them they need to work as a team and Jordan confesses “I’ve been a bit of a pain”.
“I would agree with that,” Manu deadpans. “I would never talk to my mum like this.” Anna says it’s all in the heat of the moment and “no offence taken.”
Manu had the gnocchi and loved the mushroom flavours and texture, but says the gnocchi – while delicious and caramelised – wasn’t right.
Pete loved the squid dish’s flavours but thought the tarator was too pasty. But it was still excellent.

Back in the kitchen
Jordan’s a bit down and has a little moment. “I just want it really bad,” he tells Anna, crying. Awww.

Poor boy.
Poor boy.
In the restaurant Lauren says the squid is a “flavour bomb” while Mitch and Laura critique the gnocchi harshly. No hairs, though.
Anna gets on to the crab while Jordan laminates the pasta, creating cool black lines with the squid ink-dyed pasta. Impressive – I thought they’d just do separate black ravioli and white ravioli.
Stripey!
Stripey!
They seem to have an electric pasta machine – I’ve never seen one before! Google says you can get one for about $250.
Anna and Jordan are bickering a bit about the pig, and how to achieve crackling without drying out the meat. And their pig juss is too salty for sauce, so Jordan has the great idea to add his celeriac and apple liquid, and it works. They plate up and the black stripes on the ravioli look like nori. Surprised they didn’t serve something green with the pork.

Time to chew


As the mains are served Laura whispers to Mitch: “Smells like two-minute noodles”. Ooh – snarky.
Pete had the pork: “You took a huge risk cooking a suckling pig.” It’s another fake out. “I absolutely adored it… I won’t say it was a pretty dish but it was a bloody good dish.”
Manu liked the technique of the striped pasta and though the dish was really tasty, but the bisque was too thick.
Zana finds the bisque too rich but they are mainly interested in showing negative comments from the Curlies.

Back in the kitchen it’s dessert time and Anna gets on to the crostoli. I remember the twins made this last year. Then Anna has a blast wielding the brulee torch for the meringue. Will they cop flack for serving panna cotta in a glass? They would on MasterChef, where it’s all about wobbly bits. It looks good, though.

Time to chew


Pete pours the spirit over the bombe Alaska and Manu flicks the gas lighter on, but there’s only a small flame and everyone’s underwhelmed. He struggles to cut through the base of the dessert. And it turns out it’s because they froze their sponge with the rhubarb and ice cream, so it’s all rock hard. This must be a recipe they’ve never done before. “You’ve got this layer of icy fruit which isn’t pleasant at all, guys.” The meringue was good. Pete says it’s below average. Uh oh – a bombe.
Manu loved the flavour of his panna cotta and the espresso jelly. The crostoli was the perfect accompaniment. However, while Manu is ok with the dessert being in a glass the panna cotta is too thick. I can’t tell whether he said it should be “bouncing” or “dancing”. (Think they used too much gelatine.)
The Sisters are the only ones who’ve enjoyed everything tonight but they did luck out with their choice of textures. Even Lauren, who’s heaped praised upon the other dishes, hates the bombe Alaska. And, of course, Mitch and Laura are facing elimination and didn’t like anything.
So that’s two talented teams who’ve faltered under pressure – they could have done with a few of Lauren’s sudden death cook-offs to toughen them up.
Time to score, and Anna and Jordan should still beat Curlies score of 60.

Scores
Sisters 8; Carmine and Lauren 6; Zana and Plus One 8; Curlies 6. Total 28/40

Entree Pete 8 (squid), Manu 7 (gnocchi); Main Pete (pig) 9, Manu (ravioli) 9; Dessert Pete 4 (bombe Alaska), Manu 7 (panna cotta) . Total 72.

Tomorrow night it’s Zana and Gianni and don’t forget there’s another episode Thursday night, as there’s no MKR Sunday. Presumably we won’t hear Z and G’s scores until the Thursday so they can string out who’s made the semi finals. And what the heck is Manu holding up in the ad?

What eez eet?
What eez eet?



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Married at First Sight – Mon, Week 3

Many thanks to our MAFS correspondent, Daisy, for her recap:

Tonight the newlyweds meet together at a dinner party and it’s as pleasant was watching Clockwork Orange or Pet Cemetry. Clare and Jono are already divorced, with Clare getting custody of the kids, uncontested. Thankfully Fugly has been spared any more appearances. As Dr Phil says, “You don’t involve the children in adult issues”. Jono tells his mates, Dazza and Guzza, that Clare wasn’t what he ordered, which sounds cold but to be fair, if you told a dating agency you wanted an Amish virgin and they gave you a lap dancer, you might say the same thing. Anyhow, Guzza points out to Jono, “Maybe you’re not what she ordered”, and I suspect he isn’t.

Couples prepare to meet and possibly outdo each other in the loved-up couple contest. Bryce gets excited by imagining little Erin in his grandmothers undies. And Erin wonders why animals always start copulating whenever she walks by. Maybe it’s because she says, “F*ck. F*ck”. Erin is endearing herself to Bryce, me and viewers with her goofy comments. Bob, I think it was Bob, got Erin right. I am liking her. Hands up if it was you who called it first, Bob.

Couples get comfy in their assigned overnight accomodation. Erin and Bryce get the Bat Cave and immediately start checking out the freebies. Kristy and Mark get a beautiful treehouse with views of the lovely Auusie bush. Kristy is all smiles, kisses and cuddles now, which is much more attractive on her than a scowl. Kristy and Mark get pole dancing facilities. Xavier and Simone get a luxurious 2 storey cabin but Simone is not impressed at the producers removing the bush dunny door. They have not progressed to weeing and pooing together.

Gluttons for punishment, (or bound by the producers’ contract), Clare and Jono are back to torment each other some more. They are given a rustic, romantic bush cottage but it’s not enough to get these two kissing again. I would say it’s really over between these two, but for the sake of filming obligations they bravely soldier on.

At this point the sexperts interject to say, “The dinner party is where couples get to compare themselves with other couples”, which really shows how little they know, because comparing yourself with others is for losers. It will either make you smug, envious, or feeling inadequate. The couples arrive at dinner, the women wobbling through the bush on spike heels. It doesn’t take long for the tension between Clare and Jono becomes obvious, especially when they arrive at the party separately. But both try and hold it together, and I know that this will last only until someone dares to ask them how things have been. It’s Kristy who goes first with the questions, and now it turns to animosity. The more they speak, the angrier they each become. I like both Clare and Jono, but Clare just doesn’t recognize her habit of criticizing Jono and attempting to educate him as though she is the Dalai Lama. Clare needs a very different type of guy. One who likes getting dog poo thrown at him, and self-improvement lessons from his girl friend.

Things for Clare and Jono go from bad to worse, and Clare has to excuse herself for a cry. Lovely Simone is the girl who has to run after the girl who runs off crying. You all know the drill. Simone is beautiful, inside and out. With Simone’s encouragement, Clare regains her composure and rejoins the table. She also resumes her criticism of Jono.
She said she wanted to have sex, but Jono was a ghost husband. Jono said, regarding sex, “You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t”. Once the other couples start probing for information from Jono and Clare, Jono tries to be diplomatic but Clare starts bagging Jono and you can feel he wants to explode, but he holds back.

Couples start sticking up for Jono. Xavier tells Clare, “Let him speak”. Kristy says, “Give Jono back his balls”. But winner of the Dr Phil and Judge Judy straight shooting award goes to Erin. Little Erin jumps in with her pearls of wisdom and insight, and tells Clare that she kept criticizing Jono, and he had not spoken ill of her. She does it with such directness, yet with a certain charm that leaves Clare unable to take offence. Yes, whoever it was who said they liked Erin (Bob I think), I am a convert. She is a gem. I mean Sh*t, she is a gem. She really has spunk.

So couples return to their cabins to mull over the evening. Most to feel thankful that they aren’t Clare and Jono. We don’t see Clare. She’s done. But Jono is in his spa, alone. In spite of Clare’s earlier accusation that only she was in it for love Jono is disappointed that it didn’t work out. He poignantly removes his wedding ring for the cameras. My guess he already chucked it four days before. Please producers, give these two another shot at reality love….but not with each other.

Next week couples meet the parents and it looks like more tears and broken hearts are in store. I genuinely feel sorry for Clare and Jono. They are the collateral damage of sadistic producers who set them up to fail. Jono needs a small brunette who doesn’t preach, and doesn’t throw poo or dead snakes at him, then call him a sissy. Clare needs a brute who is scared of nothing, hates feel-good cartoons and will throw dog poo back at her.

So viewers, which holiday accomodation did you like the best. And who did YOU like tonight? Who will last? And would you date a preacher? Face with stuck-out tongue and winking eye And why did Woolif look at me funny when I said Clare nagged too much? 😑



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Survivor BBB2 – Apr 14 – The One with the Sooky Lah Lahs

Here we go – will Jason and Scot go ballistic after tribal? Naw, Scot’s looking glum in the night vision as he and Tai talk about the girls now having an alliance. Tai is regretting his tribal council revelation about the super idol and panics when Jason quizzes him about the vote.

It was you Jason the Bounty Hunter, but he's not telling you that.
It was you Jason the Bounty Hunter, but he’s not telling you that.

Tai panics and blurts out “Debbie” and cut to confessional where he says he’s a terrible liar. Will Jason’s Bounty Hunter super senses start tingling at this lie? It seems not. They hatch a plan to use join their idols for a super idol at the next tribal. Surely the problem with this plan is that the “enemy” will split the vote and the super idol can only save one of them?
And Scot has another vote: “What do you guys this about taking away their food?” Yeah, Scot, you just lost any respect from the viewers you’d clawed back when you were separated from Jason and buddied up with Tai instead. Douche move.
Not cool, Scot.
Not cool, Scot.
Jason wants to “weaken their soul” – a tactic from his military days he uses in his bounty hunting: “I love psychological warfare.” Urgh. At least when J’Tia threw the rice in the fire on Cagayan she was off her nut with anger – it wasn’t a calmly planned thing to drag down morale. And now she’s forever known as the chick that threw rice in the fire rather than a brilliant nuclear engineer. And these guys will be the sooky lah lah Russell Hantzes who wouldn’t let the other kids play with their toys.
Tai is wisely keeping his mouth shut (he needs to forge a new alliance – stat!) but the vengeful talk is freaking the Buddhist out morally.
The next morning Scot and Jason are up early to carry out their plan.
Nice hashtag, Survivor editors.
Nice hashtag, Survivor editors.
The hide the machete and the axe in the jungle and gloat about how miserable everyone will be.
Where's the machete, asks Debbie (looking so scrawny even in layers of clothes)
Where’s the machete, asks Debbie (looking so scrawny even in layers of clothes)
It’s obvious to everyone who the saboteurs are. Michelle is pissed but determined to show the Sooky Lah Lahs they don’t even need those tools (that’s the actual tools, not the walking giant babies). They roast coconuts in the fire and Cydney cracks one open with a saw.
Scot does not look happy the girls worked out how to open a coconut.
Scot does not look happy the girls worked out how to open a coconut.
And then Scot does something super douchey. “Why don’t we just end the speculation?” he says. And he puts out the fire with their precious drinking water.
What the hell, Scot.
What the hell, Scot.

Oh my god!! He’s on the verge of going Brandon Hantz. I’d be a bit worried about my safety if I was one of the girls. The girls are dumbfounded and Joe calls him on it, but Scot doesn’t give a rats. Michelle must feel like she’s dealing with one of her drunk customers at the bar, but there’s nowhere to run on the island. She gets the fire going again – good on you, Michelle.
Watching from the shelter Scot vows to put it out again (I half expect him to reach into his baggy shorts and piss all over the flames) and Tai is getting rather uncomfortable.
Maybe Debbie's strange approach about an alliance isn't looking so weird now, Tai.
Maybe Debbie’s blunt approach about an alliance isn’t looking so weird now, Tai.

Come on in, guys. It’s time for a reward challenge, so will the Sookies man up and be team players? Blue cap Jeff probes them about the sabotage and the Giant Walking Wgo proclaims the tribe only has water and mangoes because of him. Cydney shoots back: “I can climb a damn tree!” Go girl!

We found the missing tool: it's Scot!
We found the missing tool: it’s Scot!
Seriously, is he playing a villain role because he wants to get invited back for another season, or is he actually this childish?
Reward is Chinese takeaway and Joe offers to sit out. Usually the non-player would forfeit the reward, but Jeff says Joe can bet on a horse and if his horse wins, he gets Chinese, too. However, it means once of the girls is going to have to saddle up with the Sookies and Julia puts her hand up, much to Cydney’s disgust. Julia wants to make a big move (the quickest way to get in Jeff’s good books) but this could all go horribly wrong for her. Joe punts on the girls and they should be quicker at untangling the ropes around their feet as they don’t wear size 20 shoes.
Twisted.
Twisted.
Dammit – the Sookies plus Julia get through the ropes quickly and move on to throwing sandbags to knock down stacked logs.
Check out her muscle! Debbie's imagining she's pegging the sandbag at Scot's head.
Check out her muscle! Debbie’s imagining she’s pegging the sandbag at Scot’s head.
Debbie’s doing really well, catching up fast, and earns Jeff’s respect: “Debbie’s got an arm on her!” But the Sookies have too big a lead and more brute strength and win. Grrr.

Back at camp the Sookies (and the chicken, who we learn is named Mark – and Google says, yes, Tai’s partner is named Mark) tuck into their Chinese while Julia explains she is at the bottom of her existing alliance.

Did the poor camera man have to climb a ladder to get this shot?
Did the poor camera man have to climb a ladder to get this shot?
And she tells confessional she’s keen to keep the Sookies around because she knows the jury won’t vote for them to win the mill.
At this point Julia has burned her existing alliance and doesn’t even know it.
Joe sums it up.
Joe sums it up.
But Debbie (who I just want to see put on an IV drip to rehydrate her) sticks up for Julia and says she’s just playing them. We’ll see.
Did you know Gollum was playing in this season?
Did you know Gollum was playing in this season?
Julia tells the girls she was just playing along with the Sookies, but Cydney knows better because her “BS radar” is goigg off.:
Remember the first half of the season, where Cydney hardly got airtime? Me neither.
Remember the first half of the season, where Cydney hardly got airtime? Me neither.
Cyd grabs Aubry for a beach pow-wow and straight away this is my new favourite Survivor pairing.
See, Neal, I didn't need you anyway now I have new BFF Cyd.
See, Neal, I didn’t need you anyway now I have new BFF Cyd.

They agree Jules has to go next.
Tai and his BFF, Mark the chicken.
Tai and his BFF, Mark the chicken.
Tai is having trouble sleeping and is uneasy about the sabotage, but tells himself it must be done. And then HE puts out the fire. Sweet little Tai!
Noooo! What would Mark the chicken think?
Noooo! What would Mark the chicken think?
“The evil side of me rarely comes out, but it does,” he says to the camera the next day with a grin.
The fire dousing pisses everyone off but Aubry (who thinks Scot and Jason did it) reckons it was a deliberate act to attract votes which they could then negate with an idol. She wants to vote for Jules to flush the idols out, but Debbie is super cranky at Scot and wants the guys gone. Up until now Debbie has been a very strategic player, so the deprivation must be getting to her.

Immunity challenge time … Green cap Jeff explains the domino challenge and this seems made for a smaller, nimble contestant to win. And indeed Michelle, Julia and Debbie do very well, with Michelle in the lead until her domino topple fails at the last second. A lot of people look like contenders but don’t get their spacing right and Julia wins immunity. Uh oh. Well, at least Aubry and Debbie now don’t have to fight.

Back at camp Debbie gets her girl posse and wants to split the vote between Tai and Scot as she thinks Jason will play an idol. To Aubry’s horror, Deb lays it all out in front of Jules. She wants Brains to vote Scot, the others Tai. Julia trots off to the Sookies to tell them the plan. Geez, I really hope she’s a double agent but I don’t think so. Sookies want to vote Cydney.
Cyd and BFF Aubry discuss the option of cutting Debbie loose and think they will have the support of Joe and Michelle. But Joe is adamant he won’t vote Debbie. So now the BFFs have to tell Suss Julia their plan and see if she will go with them. Uh oh – I’m worried Cyd is going home as she’s got so much air time this ep.

At tribal council Jeff gets the lowdown on the missing tools (as if he didn’t already know) and learns Debbie still trusts Jules. Talk turns to idol play and Jason and Scot are busting a gut to make some idol threats.

Are Julia and Aubry whispering to each other here while Scot is talking?
Are Julia and Aubry whispering to each other here while Scot is talking?
Scot says: “Tai’s got an idol. Tai’s not going anywhere tonight.”
Boo yah.
Boo yah.
And Jason continues: “Wait a minute – the idol’s got a brother.”
Jason's making his devilish speech from the fiery pit of hell.
Jason’s making his devilish speech from the fiery pit of hell.

Over on the jury bench Neal and Nick are whispering that the Sookies should combine them for the super idol. But then Jason says Tai will keep his idol and he and Scot will be rocking off for the idol honour and then play it before the votes are read, which I think is false – he’d do super idol for sure. But the other players, of course, have only heard whispers of the super idol, so there’s much whispering of “original plan”.
whispercyd

whisperdebbie

whisperjulia

whispertai

Jules is stoked she has the immunity necklace and Jeff is stoked this will make great TV. Who’d have thought whispering could be so compelling?
Jason and Scot go through their Rock, Paper, Scissor charade (Scot’s paper covers Jason’s rock) and then they hand the idol to Tai, who doesn’t budge. 30rockscissor
No one – other than the jury members – knows what’s going on and Aubry looks like she’s going to be sick.
The votes are read and Cydney calls out whoever spelt her name incorrectly – she is awesome. It’s Cydney and Scot votes and then the Debbie votes come out and she is shocked. debshock
And it’s … Debbie. So Julia didn’t vote with the Sookies, who are stoked that they are safe and they didn’t even have to super idol it up.

Next week: We see the Sookies basking in their super idolness but Aubry tries to lure Tai back to the Rebel Alliance.

And if you haven’t already, check out Nick’s Ponderosa video.
http://tinyurl.com/hhww28h



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MKR – Wed, Apr 13 – Sisters cook

It’s Wednesday night MKR, so chat away. I probably can’t do a recap tonight, so contributions welcome.
TV blurb says: The top teams will travel the country, showcasing to judges Pete and Manu how far they have come by going back to where it all started – their Instant Restaurants.
No full recap tonight but a few points below and the dish pix.

* Tonight it’s the turn of the Sisters, Tasia and Gracia, who are among the top three contenders at the moment (although in their first instant restaurant they only scored one point higher than the Miners – yep, that’s how bad it was). As usual at this time in the comp they have to cook two options for each course.
* While perusing the menu Pete mentions that Manu’s mother-in-law makes a good rendang. Google says his partner is Malaysian-Chinese-Sri Lankan, so their household must be food heaven. (And thanks, Google, for teaching me Manu is short for Emmanuel). I love a good rendang and have used this recipe for years http://www.notquitenigella.com/2011/06/23/beef-rendang/
* Zana hasn’t eaten much Asian food and is “not a fan”. Has she been living under a rock?
* What have they dressed Lauren in? Everyone knows you don’t wear white to eat Asian food – it’s way too saucy and splashy.

The MKR stylists love dressing contestants in ugly playsuits.
The MKR stylists love dressing contestants in ugly playsuits.

* These girls could never work together in a kitchen for other people – they are way too loud. They need to have their own cafe with an open kitchen so people can pay to watch them bicker as pre-dinner entertainment.
* The judges arrive to the tune of Franz Ferdinand’s Take Me Out.
* Here’s Jordan, crying prettily.
It's ok, Jordan - at least you don't have to eat Cougar and Cub's food in this instant restaurant round.
It’s ok, Jordan – at least you don’t have to eat Cougar and Cub’s food in this instant restaurant round.
* How good did those entrees look!
* Zana has never eaten a dumpling before. C’mon, you’re starting to sound like Jess talking about sugar. At least she liked it. Really – she’s never even heard of rendang?
* Mitch looks like he’s been on a tonne of Bali surf trips.
* Two sesame desserts? That’s a lot of sesame.
* Lauren said two-fiddy-kay again (vote in the Lauren’s most annoying phrases poll if you haven’t already). She’s not getting much of the edit tonight – perhaps she’s sick?
* I was worried Manu creeping up behind the girls while they were at the deep fryer would result in a terrible accident. Their reactions definitely made good telly.
* Pete’s dessert fake out wasn’t fooling anyone: “That’s the best Asian desert I’ve ever had.”

Crystal prawns and ginger dumplings
Spicy soft shell crab with pickled veg

Indonesian grilled chicken with sambal and tempeh
Beef rendang with coconut rice and tumeric pickle

Mango mousse with tapioca and sesame nougatine
Sesame chocolate ball with pandan ice cream

Scores
Curlies 8
Lauren and Carmine 7
Zana and Plus One 8
Anna and Jordan 10

Pete
Entree (crab) 9
Main (chicken) 10
Dessert (mango mousse) 10
Manu
Entree (dumplings) 10
Main (rendang) 8
Dessert (sesame ball) 5
TOTAL 85 (the highest score in ultimate instant restaurant round history)
* Well done, Tasia and Gracia. Despite the bickering you looked organised and the food was visually appealing. Top two looks likely.
* Lauren quote of the night: “Pete and Manu are handing out 10s like they’re Tic Tacs.”
* On Sunday it’s the Curlies’ turn. The previews show Zana having a meltdown at the table because she can’t eat something. Is it an unusual food? A hairy carrot? Something with a face?



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MKR – Tues, Apr 12 – Lauren V Dads

Room service?
Room service?
The contestants enter Kitchen HQ and there’s a row of cloches waiting for them – how very MasterCheffy. Pete says there will be a rapid cook off for all six teams. At the end four teams will be safe, and the two weakest teams will go to sudden death.
The rapid cook off will require the teams to combine unusual flavour parings chosen by Pete and Manu (yeah, right) for a dish. What a pity they are only doing one round of this and then the same old sudden death.
The flavour pairings are saffron and vanilla (screams some kind of milky or ricey dessert), beetroot and chocolate (actually a common combo for cakes), lamb and apricot (umm, Moroccan tagine, anyone? As if this is an unusual pairing), fig and liver (ok, that’s weird), basil and raspberries (used in some modern desserts already), rhubarb and black pudding (odd but you could do a chutney with the rhubarb). Having won the restaurant challenge with their occy dish, Anna and Jordan get to allocate the flavours to the teams. Or in Gangsta Lauren’s case, flava. The biggest threats are Curlies and Sisters, so, strategically, they should get the fig and liver and rhubarb and black pudding.
Mama and Son take saffron and vanilla for themselves. Dads get basil and raspberries; Zana and Plus One liver and fig (and Lauren and Carmine think this is strategic, as Zana likes offal and they reckon she’s not a threat); Curlies catch the easy lamb and apricot; Sisters get rhubarb and black pudding; and Carmine and Lauren get the easy beetroot and choc.
They only have 45 minutes to cook with, which is not long to braise or bake anything.
What they’re making
Zana and Plus One are doing chicken liver pate with balsamic figs – what a great idea. Yum. They decided to add some fig jam and cooked liver, also, to do the cheffy two ways thing. There’s not much room to move at the kitchen benches and, of course, they’ve placed Lauren next to Zana, hoping for some argy bargy. Lauren is making chocolate ganache with beetroot sauce and macadamia crumb. She’s baking her ganache, first adding eggs. Sounds like you invented cake, Lauren.
Dads are doing raspberry sponge with Italian meringue and sweet basil pesto. Sounds good but I thought they would do little sponges rather than one larger dish.
Sisters are freaked out by cooking with black pudding, which they’ve not used before, and the almost as unfamiliar rhubarb. Their dish sounds really interesting: Black pudding Scotch egg with rhubarb mayonnaise. I would ditch the mayo for a rhubarb chutney but they are usually great with flavours, so let’s see.
Jordan and Anna are doing a savoury dish: Saffron and vanilla lobster with saffron pasta. Jordan is sous videing the lobster. Forty-five minutes is not long to make pasta, but both Anna and Curly Bro are attempting it. Curlies are doing spiced lamb rack with apricot puree and tortellini.
We’re subjected to yet another sequence of Gianni peeling things waaay too slowly – livers this time – although he’s not quite at Chops level. They’re hoping their pate will set in time for popping it the freezer.
The Curlies’ tortellini looks so cute, and no doubt their pasta will be thinner than Carmine’s last night. Speaking of, Lauren is worried that none of their elements is ready and is getting angsty. Carmine knows her well enough to stay out of her way.
Dad Cookie forgot to set the timer for the sponge, so they disagree over whether it’s cooked through. Have they stuck a skewer in it? Cookie wins the mild disagreement and grabs the cutter, but – uh oh – it’s raw in the middle. Do they have microwaves? Don’t think I’ve ever seen one on MKR, but they used them on MasterChef for siphon sponges all the time. They do their best and smush together the cooked bits with raspberries and top their Frankenstein sponge with torched meringue. They haven’t attempted as many elements as other teams.
They are not the only ones in a world of pain. Over at Curlies’ bench, Laura cuts into her lamb rack and it’s raw. Lauren’s ganache is too warm to quenelle properly. Jordan and Anna are plating their open lasagna and he’s not happy: “As time goes on, this plate gets uglier and uglier and uglier.”
Tasia is watching the clock and waiting until the last minute to pull the scotch egg out, so Gracia is freaking out. Gianni is frantically trying to pipe pate on the plate.
Lauren isn’t happy with their rushed plating: “This dish looks like a crime scene.”

Time to taste

The judges don’t give anything away but the egg yolk was delightfully oozy. 

Perfect. These girls are on fire.
Perfect. These girls are on fire.

Someone went crazy with the black pepper. Jordan is not happy but I’d be shocked if they don’t get through.

The livers look nice and pink.

Lauren sounds sooo nervous and I feel a bit sorry for her, but then they cut to confessional where she does her American accent again and I change my mind.

And the verdict …
Jordan and Anna: Manu says it looked messy, the lobster was well cooked and they used their ingredients well.
Zana and Plus One: Pete says they highlighted the figs and livers well and “it was very hard to fault.”
Sisters: Pete says it was unusual and smart. Manu loved it.
Dads: Manu says it looked pretty but the sponge wasn’t cooked and it lacked basil flavour. Pete wasn’t wowed.
Lauren and Carmine: Pete “didn’t mind” the baked ganache but it needed more beetroot sauce.
Curlies: Pete says the tortellini was sensational, the apricot good and the lamb underdone.
So I’m thinking Dads and Lauren for sudden death (which is what most of us predicted last night anyway). Yep, that’s how it goes.
That was a fun challenge – I hope they do that again.

Sudden death
For round two the teams have to create one dish with classic flavours. They have one hour to cook. This could go either way.

After the success of her apple crumble tarts in last night’s sudden death episode, Lauren decides to go pastry again with a white chocolate and raspberry tart. She’s making a chocolate pastry because she’s good at pastry. “If people want to call me a dessert queen, I’ll let them,” she tells confessional. But then she blanks on the pastry recipe. She sounds hoarse – maybe she’s crook. Luckily Carmine remembers: 3-2-1 (is that flour, sugar, cocoa?).

Dads are making mint-crusted lamb backstrap with peas and mint. Sounds simple so they’d better add some fancy pants elements.
Carmine is making a raspberry sherbet to go with their tart and on the sidelines we hear Zana say “I think they should be leaving that out”, but it sounds like it’s come from another part of the MKR timeline. Lauren is attacking her pastry again – but there seems to be less violence involved than last night.
The Dads do a tester with their herb-crusted lamb but they’ve cranked the pan up too high, so it burns and the crust falls off. This is their first time in sudden death and they are losing it. Anna doesn’t know why they don’t use egg to stick it, which is what everyone at home was yelling out. Or they could just cook the lamb and do a deconstructed crumb.
In the other kitchen Lauren is trying to temper white chocolate but Curly Laura says she’s aiming for the temperature used for dark choc. She’s freaking out over whether her tarts are ready and second guessing herself on everything.
The Dads cut into their lamb and it looks lovely and pink. But won’t their crust have gone soggy from being covered in foil to rest?
It’s the usual last-minute dash and the Dads’ little French fries look deliciously golden and crunchy. Neither team has done the best-looking dish and Lauren went easy on the raspberry soz.

Time to taste

And the verdict
Dads: Pete says the lamb was cooked properly and he liked the chips, but Manu says the crumb lacked crunch. However, Pete loved eating it.
Lauren and Carmine: Pete says the pastry was sensational and he liked the white chocolate mascarpone filling and the playful sherbet. Manu thinks she should “bottle” her pastry recipe. However, the soz was lacking.
Pete says it’s very close but it’s obvious the Dads are going home. The judges hand down the verdict, as expected, and Carmine is in shock. Everyone tears up and Manu gives his usual farewell salute. At least they get to see their recipe in the Coles magazine and they behaved impeccably throughout the series.

Hugs all round.
Hugs all round.
So the Final Five are Curlies, Sisters, Mama and Son, Zana and Plus One and Carmine and Lauren. Tomorrow night it’s a flashback to the instant restaurant days as we go round the country yet again. It looks like we’ll get some delicious dishes and we hear Pete utter the words “it’s the highest score ever”. There’s also a shot of a warm sauced being poured over a chocolate disc balanced atop a glass, which was a technique used in a dessert pressure test set by Shannon Bennett in last year’s MasterChef, so I’m thinking that’s a Mitch and Laura dessert. I did enjoy the snippet of the Sisters being so overjoyed that something was properly cooked and wanted to hug Manu but being unsure if they were allowed to touch him.

Did you all enjoy the varied format of tonight’s episode? I did. And now I’m left pondering what I would have cooked if I’d got each of those flavour pairings. And I’m going to look up that tart recipe because I have no idea from watching the show how she made those pastries work.



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MKR – Mon, Apr 11 – Lauren V Chopses

It’s Lauren and Carmine versus Eve and Jason (better known as Mr and Mrs Chops). And for what is likely to be his final night in Kitchen HQ, the stylists have dressed Mr Chops in a shirt even more hideous than those that have come before him. It’s possible he could self combust if the studio lights hit the offending polyester garment at the wrong angle.

The horror.
The horror.
And Lauren continues to oblige the producers with some trash talk while the Chopses are bemused by this whole reality TV lark.
Manu wardrobe update: He’s back in the purple velvet, which is a letdown after his chef blacks last night at Fass’s restaurant.

Chopses’ menu
Entree: Choux gnocchi with spring vegies and roast tomato sauce
Main: Lamb cutlets with parsnip puree, mushrooms and jus
Dessert: Lemon cheesecake with citrus curd and pepita crumb
Mmmm, sounds tasty but not very “cheffy”, especially the main.

Gangsta Lauren’s menu
Entree: Toretellini in brodo
Main:Beef brisket with mushy peas and roasted bone marrow
Dessert: Apple crumble tart with cinnamon ice cream.
Another broth? They’ve had great success with it in the past and are on rinse and repeat. As Zana comments: “By the 10th time you’d probably nail it.”
Lauren is determined to win: “I want to stick it to all those people who said I couldn’t do anything with my life. Stuff youse.” Where did she grow up? Detroit, in the trailer next to Eminem?
On the sidelines, contenders Anna and Jordan say there’s no need to mess with the perfection that is traditional gnocchi. Meanwhile, Lauren is working on her broth: “It’s gonna be amaze.” She has a dig at Chopses for their usage of jar shortcuts.
And the award for the first person to talk about treating produce with respect is Zana, in regards to the brisket. (This could make a good drinking game: One shot when the word respect is used; a sip for the word soz; two sips every time Lauren does her gangsta accent …)
Eve is trying to show the judges she has learnt new skills and is doing a good job of frenching her lamb racks. So Chops channels the spirit of Tarq’s Dad and quips: “No-one frenches like you, baby.” But – as predicted by Jordan – Chops has put too much cheese in his gnocchi choux and it ain’t working. He needs to chuck it but he won’t listen to the missus and doggedly keeps trying to make it work.
Carmine is working on the pasta while Lauren preps dessert, doing the double whisk, double saucepan thing. Credit where it’s due – she’s a fast worker. And Carmine’s tortellini look pretty.
Chops has cut the carrots too small and again is not listening to the Missus when she says they need bigger chunks. And then he uses tongs to one by one take out roasted cherry tomatoes from the oven tray. If I was Eve I’d throw a slotted soon at his head.
Lauren is seasoning her broth and chucks a bucket of salt in it. Chops is happy with his gnocchi but Anna and Jordan reckon he’s overcrowded the pan and won’t get the caramelisation he needs. Plus it’s a teeny serve.
Time to taste


Fass says the dish looks clumsy but it has good flavour. Guy says the pasta needs to be worked more. However, the seasoning is apparently spot on. But what does Zana think? “Whoa – that is some bad flavours in the mouth, mate.”


As suspected, it’s a fail and the gnocchi aren’t at all pillowy. Fass: “You’d have a crick in your neck if you slept on one of those pillows.” The sauce is nice but the judges note there is nothing spring like about the vegies they used. But what does Zana think? “I wouldn’t pay for either of these in a restaurant.”

How does Zana keep a straight face in court?
How does Zana keep a straight face in court?

On to mains
Lauren is checking on her soz and it’s too salty, so she adds sugar – to jus! Zana and I are both horrified. Now it’s too sweet, so she adds the packet stock.
Mrs Chops is also working on her soz, but there doesn’t appear to be much of it. Chops is trimming the beans and he’s so painfully slow the editors play Baby Elephant Walk in the background. Over to Jordan: “That turtle that beat the hare would easily beat Jason.”
Over in the other kitchen Carmine is having bone marrow trouble because his oven was set to grill. This happens all the time on MKR – wouldn’t you think teams would check each other’s oven setting ability for each course? At least the brisket looks lovely and tender.
Mrs Chops carves up her lamb racks and they look perfectly pink. Carmine chopping brisket and is adding even more salt to the meat. Chops is taking forevs to puree the parsnip and it’s the first thing that needs to go on the plate. Missus rolls the cutlets in fresh herbs for a vibrant dash of green.
The brisket goes on the plate and Curly Laura is worried at the lack of soz. When will MKR contestants learn the soz is crucial.

Time to taste


Everything is cooked well but the judges agree with Karen, who wants to see more “razzamatazz”. And thanks, Karen, for putting this old jingle back in my head:


Everyone loves it but they wanted more sauce. Fass: “This is my type of food.” Pete says both mains were very strong, which is not at all the impression I got. But what does Zana think? “I actually prefer Eve and Jason’s dish.”

On to dessert
Most of the dessert prep is already done, so Chopses are doing their lemon curd and crumb (which includes fennel seed – hmm, not sure about this. Rosemary would be more likely). However Lauren is yet to get her tart shells in the oven. And instead of trimming the tarts individually she’s trying to do a whole row at once with a strip of pastry and failing dismally. Just cut the pastry into squares, place it in the tin and then roll that pin over to trim, Lauren. She’s freaking out, but unless it’s a complete disaster they’re safe anyway. Lauren’s fired up, so she spits out: “Screw all those people that be drinking that Hatorade.” Yes … Seriously. Finally she gets the tart shells done but in the rush she breaks one getting it out of the tin. Chopses are actually plating up without it being a mad rush, but Missus isn’t happy with the consistency of her cheesecake mousse quenelles. Again, Chops is using tongs to laboriously put single items on a plate, this time strawberries. Dude, put a glove on, use your hand and save yourself five minutes! Their deconstructed cheesecake looks ok but if it was MasterChef there’d at least be some microherbs on there and a tuille.
Carmine and Lauren are in a world of pain getting their tarts on the plate but it all pans out in the end.

Time to taste


Everyone thinks it doesn’t look like much but it tastes great, and it’s the strongest dish out of their three courses.


Urgh – it’s that thing where we have to wait until the final critique to hear what they thought, so it’s probably good.

The verdict
Chopses: Comments are more of the same.
Guy 5, Karen 6, Liz 6, Fass 6, Pete 6, Manu 6. Total 35/60
Lauren and Carmine: Karen says the dessert was very simple, with only two elements: “They were impeccable.” But the highest praise comes from straight talker Fass: “In four years here I’ve only had one dessert as good and that was in the grand final. For me that was a 10 out of 10.”
Guy 8, Karen 8, Liz 7, Fass 8 (which elicits a *bleep* to the heavens from Carmine), Pete 8, Manu 7. Total 46

Goodbye, Eve and Jason. Yes, you weren’t the best cooks in the world and you embrace dreadful facial hair, but you were real people on a reality TV show and you never tried to speak gangsta or use the word “Hatorade”.
chopsbye
So tomorrow night another team will go and we’ll learn who the Final Five are (any Battlestar Galactica fans out there? No? Moving on, then.) We’re left with Anna and Jordan, Curlies, Sisters, Lauren and Carmine, Dads and Zana and Plus One. You’d think the first three teams are safe, although someone could always drop a tray or decide to serve seafood pasta in a bag.



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MKR – Sun, Apr 10 – Fassnidge challenge

It’s time to see how the teams cope in a real kitchen under the scrutiny of our favourite Oirish chef.
Yes, it’s off to 4Fourteen in Surry Hills, NSW, which has lots of happening restaurants.
Here we go …

Cue nervous laughter.
Cue nervous laughter.
The teams arrive at Kitchen HQ and learn they are cooking at a real restaurant and Fass tells them it’s not just any restaurant: “It’s moi restaurant.”
They look equally scared and excited. They have 90 minutes to create a main course worthy of 4Fourteen, which has a nose-to-tail ethos.
Fass’s chefs and restaurant managers will also be tasting the food. And the winner will not only get bragging rights; their dish goes on to his regular menu. That’s the equivalent of getting a spread in Elle magazine in Australia’s Next Top Model.
Laura's a tad excited.
Laura’s a tad excited.
Losers will go to sudden death and then Fass drops the bombshell that he won’t even set foot in the kitchen. Surely he’ll be yelling at them from the pass at some point, otherwise that would be no fun.
It’s not a huge place so they’ve split the teams into two shifts.
Love the open kitchen and the green lights.
Love the open kitchen and the green lights.
Jordan and Anna are focused and determined to win – apparently Anna has dreamt of being a chef for decades. They haven’t put a foot wrong thus far.
Here's a pic just for Windong so she can swoon over Jordan in chef's whites.
Here’s a pic just for Windsong so she can swoon over Jordan in chef’s whites.
They have taken heed of Colin Fassnidge’s warning to not waste any food – let’s see who forgets and suffers the wrath of The Fass.
The menus of shift one
Anna and Jordan: Charred harissa octopus with duck fat potatoes and kale
Zana and Plus One: Salt-baked rainbow trout with sauce vierge and heirloom tomatoes.
Mr and Mrs Chops: Lamb liver and onions with crispy black pudding and sweet potato (sounds heavy – is there anything to provide freshness on the plate?)
(Remember, Dads aren’t cooking tonight as they won the Coles magazine challenge with their peri-peri chicken.)
Plus One is peeling blanched tomatoes ever so slowly – did he forget to cut crosses in the bottom? Zana is doing a Marco Pierre White and thinks if she repeatedly tells him to work faster he will become more technically competent. Manu pops into the kitchen to make everyone even more nervous.
So much better now than in the velvet smoking jackets.
So much better now than in the velvet smoking jackets.
Mr Chops is feeling confident, which means we should be worried for him – I really hope they don’t overcook the liver.
Gianni and Zana are serving a herb sorbet with their fish, which sounds intriguing. They’re pushed for time but I guess the restaurant has a blast chiller.
The judges like the sound of the Chopses’ dish, but are worried about Jordan’s call to serve the occy in a sea of kale and apple soup, and worried about how much work Zana and Plus One have to do. Luckily Zana is a machine at multitasking.
Anna has a lot going on.
Anna has a lot going on.

No Lemon Squeeze on Colin's kitchen.
No Lemon Squeeze on Colin’s kitchen.
Anna takes the occy out of the pressure cooker and is worried it’s a bit over, while Zana reckons her trout is perfect. Jordan is not happy with his unbalanced kale juice – Jordan, it’s not the balance, it’s the fact you decided to use the devil’s vegetable in your dish.
Fass’s staff arrives and it’s almost time to serve. Zana and Plus One are way behind, so Manu steps in to organise their bench space.
Manu to the rescue.
Manu to the rescue.
Everyone’s panicking and the Chopses are just chucking stuff on the plate. It ain’t pretty and Eve knows it: “Jase, that’s a bloody doh’s breakfast.”
Jordan is adding the kale juice even though he’s not sure about it. It will either be a triumph or a disaster.
Note Colin got a waistcoat again, because that's what Oirishmen wear, apparently.
Note Colin got a waistcoat again, because that’s what Oirishmen wear, apparently.

Let the tasting begin.


As suspected the liver is overcooked. Fass likes that they used offal but it’s an old-fashioned fish. Manu says it’s missing finesse.


Everyone likes the balance of the harissa heat and kale juice and the occy is delish. Fass: “There’s nothing on this dish I’d change.” Manu suggests thickening the juice to a more soz-like consistency. The staff reckon it would sell.


The fish is cooked well, but the sorbet puzzles everyone. Manu thinks the dish would be easier to eat with trout fillets so diners don’t have to dodge the bones.
So, Anna and Jordan are in the lead thus far.

Menus of shift two
Sisters: Pan-roasted duck with turnips, apple and miso
Carmine and Lauren: Balsamic-glazed pork ribs with parsnip puree and red cabbage pickle
Curlies: Sous vide lamb with crispy brains and caramelised onion puree (sounds like a winner already)

This kind of challenge is right up the Curlies’ alley, and the Sisters should do well also. The Curlies have chosen a challenging dish, while Lauren is doing, umm, balsamic ribs. Sounds like something I’d cook at home – not pay for at a restaurant. And she’s doing her dreadful gangsta accent again. Ick.
Manu pretends to stir the Sisters by questioning their use of miso, but they point out Fass already uses it on his menu. Gracia has a brain malfunction and freaks out that the oven is too hot, but luckily Tasia knows the difference between Fahrenheit and celsius.

Oops.
Oops.
But later Tasia keeps calling turnips “tulips”, so perhaps their ditziness is genetic. Just as well they can cook – they’ve smartly done a test duck breast so they can test the strength of the commercial oven.
Curly Laura is making a rosemary ash to coat the cooked lamb – it’s ambitious stuff. Burnt rosemary is rather bitter but she usually knows what she’s doing.
Lauren is feeling the pressure of her pressure cooker not working, but luckily Carmine is keeping a cool head.
The judges think the ribs could be too sweet and cooking duck is tricky but Fass is keen on the lamb dish: “You had me at brains. Very cheffy but can they pull it off?”
The other teams are doing well not to be rattled by the Sisters’ screeching. Fass reminds Pete he once hired a past contestant who still works for him. But they don’t name names for some reason. (Thanks, Google – it was Drasko! Ah, that’s right – the ADD-type guy with the talented cook wife. Still, if Fass’s kept him on so long he must be doing ok.) The judges are worried the Curlies are juggling too many elements and that the Sisters’ miso soz won’t taste right.
Speaking of soz, Curlies have forgotten to make their stock into a jus, so with what appears to be five minutes to go Mitch chucks some in a pan and cranks it. Manu pops by to give advice on how to plate efficiently and in the process calls Laura “darling”. She’ll get a job out of this from someone, no matter how much further she goes. If Drasko can get a job in a kitchen, it should be a cinch for Laura. Lauren and Carmine are also having soz trouble – they haven’t made enough. Curlies’ jus isn’t working so they ditch it and add more mint sauce.
Time to taste


Everyone loves the lamb and Fass is super impressed, even though he thinks it needed the jus: “It’s like finals week cooking.”


Pete loves the cabbage but Fass thinks it’s the best thing on the plate. The ribs are a bit dry and flavourless – they needed heaps more glaze. One of the floor staff points out 4Fourteen already serves a rib and pickled cabbage dish. Didn’t the teams get to peruse the menu beforehand? Maybe not.


“It’s a playful dish,” says Pete, who then points out it would be easy to serve in the restaurant. The woman who appears to be Fass’s head chef wouldn’t change a thing and thinks the customers would love it.
So is it between the occy and the duck, because Curlies’ dish is too labour intensive for kitchen service? Bottom two must be Lauren and Chopses.
Time for judging
Pete is in raptures over Jordan’s kale juice: “It made the dish.” Chopses cop the overdone liver critique on the chin – they aren’t delusional like some past contestants. The other comments are more of what we’ve heard already, although they are harsher on Zana in order to build up this fake rivalry with Lauren. And the winning team, who get their dish added to the 4Fourteen menu, is …

Next on the menu: stunned mullets.
Next on the menu: stunned mullets.
They also get an advantage is the next challenge.
And the bottom two teams are … Chopses and Lauren and Carmine. No surprise there. Zana’s dish was waaaay more complicated than pork ribs and tasted good.

What do you think Anna and Jordan’s advantage will be? More time to cook? If this was MasterChef they’d get to choose the ingredient everyone would cook with, but MKR doesn’t like to freestyle it.



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Married at First Sight episode 2

The ratings are in for the premiere and it’s not pretty. http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/tv/reality-tv/married-at-first-sight-stumbles-at-the-altar-with-771000-viewers/news-story/33dff9d05dd6c7b231c7eeaa80a1de06
I’m guessing a lot of potential viewers don’t even realise it’s on again tonight, let alone at such an early time.
Thanks to love expert Daisy for another excellent recap:

Before I begin tonight’s recap, I will have to admit un unfair advantage over the matrimonial guinea pigs. I am writing from way over the marital hill, where one winds up in pjs, slippers and a candlwick dressing gown, having early dinner in front of Bold and the Beautiful. So if the stars in my eyes have faded, I prefer cake to sex, and I am a lot of a cynic, don’t let it mar your experience or your faith in love ever after. 💘💘💘💘
At the outset tonight, we get a morning-after peek into the sleeping arrangements of last night’s love birds. Already we see that Bryce has already become Man Friday, as he answers the door grinning sheepishly, while Erin throws a shoe at the camera crew for waking them up. Will Erin kiss and tell? My guess, she will. But no. She is being mysterious and cryptic, but might as well have said, “Wink, wink. Non, nod”. Bryce, the new butler, calls room service for special treatment honeymoon breakfast because Erin fears if they go down to the buffet breakfast she may have to make her own toast.

As for Christie and Mark; they chatted. Mark says Christie is easy going, so considering that she spent all night looking at him and dry wretching, and building a pillow fort to keep him out, I would say that makes Mark easy going. Mark may need to see the movie “She’s Not that Into You”. But good natured Mark, seems to be seeing a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Now to tonight’s couples. The producers……..I mean the sexperts, have paired blue eyed boy tradie, footy player, Ryan Fitzy Fitzgerald- I mean Jono, 28, with bossy, dog dressing Clare. That is she dresses her dog, not dresses like a dog. The sexperts choose pretty blond 32 year old, recruitment consultant, Clare because they think Jono needs his nuts in a wrench, only they don’t phrase it like that.
Next up….oh here we go……rising out of the surf like a slow motion phoenix, it’s 26 year old Xavier. He’s a sales manager who gets judged by his looks (we all do Xavier, for better or worse), and to prove it, he raises his arm to flick back his wet hair and flex his pecs. We are all temporarily blinded by this Adonis rising from the sea. But wait. Adonis has a redeeming feature, he’s a neat freak. Gotta love a neat freak ( says the neat freak). Xavier has been perfectly matched with make-up artist Simone, 29. If opposites attract, these two are in trouble. They have everything in common, healthy eating, perfectionist, teetotalling, OCD, gym junkies. I would like to marry these two myself. Both have suffered the bitter agony of betrayal and both have the scars to prove it.

Before the wedding, loved ones have to be told. All are surprised, which is odd given that there is a production team in their lounge room and everyone has had hair and make up done for the cameras. Simone’s mum has a little cry. Simone tries on wedding dresses. The fallopian tube dress is out of stock. She chooses a simple gown that shows off her boobs through some chiffon. Simone has a cry. Is she still carrying a torch for the ex-fiancé?

Jono claims he is ready to settle down, but he still seems like someone who just wants nothing more than a beer and to give his mates a wedgie. Clare celebrates her last night as a single woman in her boxer shorts, singing into a toy tennis racquet with her girl friend. Next morning she has her fugly dog on her lap snorting and farting and wearing a cravat, while she has her hair done. Apparently the snorting, farting dog has prepared her for marriage.

All four candidates seem sincere. All show up to the ceremony nervous. The producers have out-done themselves. The weddings and receptions are beautiful. Xavier and Simone clap eyes on each other and immediately there are sparks. Both like what they see. If they knew at this point that both had immaculate wardrobes, they would be absolutely thrilled and rush through those vows like the Road Runner. Yep, good looks, tidy bedrooms and very ordered calendars.

Now it’s Jono and Clare’s turn. The producers tease us by pretending Jono is going to back out. They even drag out the suspense with an ad break. (Sucked in producers- I fast forward). Of course, just as we all suspected because we aren’t fooled by such rtv tricks, Jono and Clare tie the knot, although they did struggle to gaze into each others’ eyes. Jono wasn’t thrilled at getting a buxom blond when he had asked Santa for a lean brunette. Poor Clare thought she was marrying Luke Warm, 26°C.

At the post wedding photo session, Simone and Xavier are happy and relaxed, but neither were keen to lock lips. They obliged the photograhper, and mmmmm; “That wasn’t so bad”. Jono is coping with not getting a brunette for Christmas by taking the good mates approach. In fact both he and Clare start joking around like great mates. Jono thinks Clare is really funny and a “Cool chick”. Clare takes this as a good sign. I see it as a warning sign, and a fast track to the well worn excuse; “I like you as a friend” . 😢😢😢
At the reception, Simone’s sister Shannon has a cry and makes a speech, and Simone and Xavier start swapping notes, and discover they can’t marry because they are identical twins. But they have a pash anyway, without smudging Simone’s impeccible make-up. My guess; these two won’t do the deed tonight because they are classy and careful. But they are going to want to.
There’s big trouble for Clare at her wedding. Jono’s jaw is sore from laughing. Now I dated a lot of cute guys in my day, and I didn’t spend my time making them laugh. If Jono wanted comedy, he can watch Peep Show. Clare better start putting down the football and start batting her eye lashes if she doesn’t want to be added to Jono’s list of good mates.
Well that’s almost it for tonight. We see no seedy scenes of couples coupling in their hotel room. No suggestive closing of honeymoon suite doors. Instead we see, Xavier and Simone, on the rooftop of their hotel, enjoying the city lights. And then we are tantalized and tempted by the previews of things to come, as the couples have to face the ‘reality’ of a pretend marriage. And that’s all folk. Time for warm milk and biscuits. 😜



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MKR – Tues, Apr 5 – supermarket challenge

Coles hasn’t been getting much bang for its buck lately with the offsite challenges and sudden deaths, so it’s time to put the brand front and centre with a supermarket challenge.
They get to shop, prep and cook inside a rather new-looking Coles store. Shoppers will judge their family-friendly dishes and the people’s choice winner is safe for the next couple of episodes and gets their recipe published in the Coles food magazine. Geez, I hope they didn’t bump Mike and Tarq’s rice pudding to make way for tonight’s winner.
Everyone plays bumper trolleys in the fruit and veg section.

What’s cooking?
Tasia and Gracia are making satay beef with nasi goreng and achar (it’s a vegie pickle). The shoppers will love it.
How much better does Zana look in her casual gear, again rocking her Lara Croft braid?

Zana runs like such a girl.
Zana runs like such a girl.

Zana and Plus One are making ricotta gnudi with roast pumpkin and sauteed mushrooms. Hmm, a vegetarian dish is unlikely to win.
Hot off their unexpected sudden death win, the Chopses are doing confit salmon with ruby grapefruit and fennel salad. I don’t know many kids who’d be eating grapefruit salad. Or which home cook would bother confiting salmon for a weeknight dinner.
Dads are doing peri-peri chicken with Spanish rice, which sounds exactly like something you would see in the Coles mag. A good choice, although they’ve been criticised in the past for not bamming up the flavours.
Lamb backstrap with roasted garlic and celeriac puree is on the menu for former checkout chick Lauren and Carmine. Hopefully one of the customers will teach Lauren how to pronounce celeriac.
Jordan and Anna have a delish-sounding dish: Port-braised beef cheeks with parsnip puree and pickle salad. Did Coles order in beef cheeks specially? I know here in Adelaide only some butchers stock them and certainly not the big supermarkets. What a shame their kitchen has been placed in front of rows of softdrinks rather than fresh produce.
Rosie and Paige are making what Rosie says is her kids’ fave: prosciutto, camembert and sage chicken with pearl couscous.
Lauren’s bench is right next to Zana’s – what a coincidence – and since Lauren makes a similar ricotta gnudi dish herself, so is having a right sticky at Gianna’s technique. She pulls out the gangsta slang again: “Their flour is all up in my grill.” Urgh. Enough, Lauren!
Pete thinks Rosie and Paige’s chicken dish is dated, but Fass thinks the families will go for it. We can’t all be on the bone broth, Pete. Fass is excited by the Dads’ peri-peri chicken.
Mr Chops is in a bit of a flap over his confit but Mrs is as chilled as usual. Paige puts the browned chicken in the oven and it looks sooo tasty, but then she tells Rosie she doesn’t need to set the timer. ALWAYS set the timer, girls! What are you thinking?
The Sisters are squabbling as usual while making a fab-looking peanut sauce that I’m going to have to try. (Side note: Remember when Marion, she of Thai heritage, was eliminated from MasterChef on a satay sauce-making challenge? That was a sad day).
It’s good to escape the squabbling and hear the banter of the Besties and Mama and Son. Anna reminisces that, as a boy, Jordan wanted to be a broccoli farmer and he deadpans: “I still do, Mum. Some dreams never die.”
The Dads are freaking that their chicken isn’t cooking properly, so Colin comes in to stir them up. Notice Pete no longer gets this stirring job as they know Fass will be blunter. And then Pete asks Fass if he’s impressed by the Chopses doing confit, and it’s a quick: “No.” (He hasn’t forgotten the Lemon Squeeze incident.) And then Fass goes over to tell Carmine he was a fool to slice his lamb backstrap early (der) as the juice will run out – basic cooking knowhow. Rosie and Paige are worried about flavourless couscous and Rosie is retreating into her stress bubble, while the Sisters are unsure if their beef skewers will be well done, Indonesian style, or how they know the judges want it: medium rare.
From the edit the Sisters could win and the Besties and maybe Lauren be in the bottom. Let’s see what happens.
It’s a frantic race to the finish, as once the clock stops there’s no more cooking and the hordes will descend for their free sample. Lauren and Carmine have trouble with their finished plates.

Sparse but the shoppers will eat anything free.
Sparse but the shoppers will eat anything free.

Rosie and Paige only got 28 plates up and are gutted – even Paige can’t find anything bubbly to say.
Anna and Jordan’s dish is more like a meal than a sampler and looks fab.

Time to chew:

Pete says: “It’s hard to make beef cheeks looks fresh and vibrant and they’ve done that.” Fass: “That’s a winner.” Pete: “This could be the best beef cheek dish I’ve ever tried.”

Fass thinks the lamb dish looks sad and unfinished. Pete says the lamb is cooked well but the other elements suck: “There’s not a lot of thought that has gone into this dish.”

Pete: “It doesn’t look that appealing straight off the bat.” The judges think the gnudi are dry but the other elements are tasty.

Fass likes the rice and chicken flavour.

Fass says people like food on a stick and it has great flavours. The meat is medium rare and Pete thinks the dish is on par with the beef cheeks.

Pete thinks it looks fresh and Fass says the salmon is cooked properly. Fass has to eat his words about it being a boring dish: “The guys have had a bit of a rough trot and I’ve been riding them.”

The judges think the chook is dry but the couscous has a good mushroom flavour. Pete: “They’ve dropped the ball with this dish.”

The judge give their critiques and rave about the satays; same goes for the beef cheeks. Fass: “I’m looking up – what am I looking at? The ball getting knocked out or the park. Home run.” Dads get thumbs up; Besties mixed review; Chopses get a “spot on” from Fass; Zana and Plus One cop it for dry gnudi.  Zana is devo.

Is she wearing industrial-strength eyeliner?
Is she wearing industrial-strength eyeliner?

People’s choice goes to … Chris and Cookie. That’s a bit of a surprise. Cookie gets a bit weepy … aww. Sudden death teams are Rosie and Paige and Zana and Gianni. So again we should see two high quality meals as both teams have produced stunning dishes in previous sudden death cookoffs. It may come down to whether the Besties can stay in the zone.

Who do you think will survive?

Wednesday night will be sudden death and I’m looking forward to Sunday, as there will no doubt be much footage of Fass getting shirty. here’s the blurb: Teams will head to Colin Fassnidge’s 4Fourteen where they will be challenged to come up with a dish worthy of a place on the menu.

Here’s a link to his menu. Anyone been there? http://www.4fourteen.com.au/Menu The chicken liver jaffle and lamb shoulder sound divine.



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