MKR semi 2 – Anna and Jordan V Lauren and Carmine

It’s semi final 2 and, really, isn’t everyone tuning in just to see one team go down in flames? Still, stranger things have happened. Anna and Jordan aren’t used to the pressure of Kitchen HQ.
Let’s play Lauren bingo. Comment “bingo” once you hear her say any of these phrases:
Amazeballs
Two fiddy Kay
Totes
We’re not going down without a fight
We got this
Anything in an accent
Bonus points if Carmine says “youse”

Eastern states have the advantage with this one, but play along anyway. Losers can just drink the Haterade.

It’s only a minute in and already she’s said “two fiddy kay”. BINGO! Bit sad Manu is not in purple velvet – perhaps they’re saving it for the grand final.
We start with speeches about how Carmine (gosh, he looks tired) and Lauren (who always looks fresh) are the fighters and Anna and Jordan are the frontrunners but can they handle the heat blah blah.
The menus
Lauren and Carmine
Entree: Seared scallops with pea cream and speck
Main: Sous vide chicken with smoked potato puree and brussels sprouts
Dessert: Grilled peach with yoghurt mousse and peach sorbet

Anna and Jordan
Entree: Lightly poached oysters with fennel and apple
Main: Chilli angel hair pasta with crab and pippies
Dessert: Cannoli with orange and mascarpone ice cream
Both menus sounds tasty. Anna and Jordan’s have more that could go wrong and the dishes need more technical skill than Lauren and Carmine’s menu. There’s a lot of work in making cannoli shells.

Finally - back in a nice shirt after a few shockers.
Finally – back in a nice shirt after a few shockers.

Everyone’s multi-tasking like mad and Lauren is “all good in the hood”. BINGO! Jordan’s oyster cream looks unusual – is this going to work? Anna is frying her cannoli shells now but Jordan is worried she hasn’t started her pasta dough for main yet. Surely they had a plan beforehand of what to do when? Is Anna just ignoring it?
To their credit Lauren and Carmine have planned every move they make – Carmine can’t take a breath without her permission. And it’s got them through a lot of sudden death cook offs.

In the ad break we learn House Rules starts Wednesday 7.30pm, so they’re getting the jump on MasterChef.

How  gorgeous do Tasia and Gracia look on the sidelines.
How gorgeous do Tasia and Gracia look on the sidelines.

Anna finally listens to Jordan and makes her past dough and is hilarious, referring to the dough as “she”.
Time to plate up and both dishes look good – Carmine and Lauren have obviously been studying plating techniques as the scallops look so much prettier than their usual dishes.
Time to chew


The oysters actually looked much more appetising than in this official MKR pic.


Liz likes the vibrancy of the scallops and says it’s a classic dish. Colin sums it up: “It’s good cooking, it’s got flavour, but I think it’s safe.” Guy likes the flavour of the pea cream – must have been that packet stock Lauren used.
The judges think Jordan’s oyster creation is an “interesting”-looking dish – interesting because they are not sure what else to say. Pete tastes the juice and puckers his lips and shakes his head. Uh oh. Colin is eating with his eyes shut.

Is Fass  blinded by the whiteness of his own jacket?
Is Fass blinded by the whiteness of his own jacket?

Liz gets a bit of oyster shell – disaster. Karen and Fass like the creativity of the dish but it hasn’t quite worked. Liz finds the oyster cream “slightly unpleasant” but the shell was the final straw. Manu likes most of the elements but the oyster cream is too “full on”.
So this round goes to Carmine and Lauren.

Main course round
L & C are only just starting their sorbet – hope it sets in time.
Over at the other kitchen Jordan is naming all the blue swimmer crabs he’s dismembering. The Sisters, on the sidelines, are worried. They’re doing angel hair pasta which, as Jordan says, is tricky as the finer the pasta, the more chance of it clumping.
Carmine is showing off a new skill he’s learnt: smoking potatoes. They bicker a little over whether they are smoked enough. Guess the judges will tell us who’s right.
They’s sous vided the chicken, which is smart as they know it will be perfect. Chicken is a little boring, though, considering the other team is confiting crab legs. I don’t order it when I go out for a fancy meal as it’s such an everyday protein at home. But then, as Lauren says: “This ain’t no Plain Jane chicken.” BINGO!
Jordan is starting to get flustered and it’s hard to watch.
Lauren is letting her jus boil furiously as she asks Carmine: “Where you at?” He deadpans: “I’m on the right hand side of the kitchen at the moment.” Good one, Carmine. So the dreadful accent comes out: “You know what I mean, boy!” BINGO.
Both teams are rushing. Carmine’s forgotten the brussels sprouts but the other team is much more disorganised. Jordan’s pasta is clumping a bit and the Sisters say the plating looks inconsistent. Even Manu – who is dead keen on trying their seafood sauce – is worried for them.
Plating done, Jordan and Anna look deflated, saying it looks worse than what they make at home.

Time to chew


The judges prepare to taste the chook and admire the pour of the soz. Karen notes it’s another classic, simple but well done. Guy thinks it’s not simple at all and he likes the soz. Fass thinks there is too much potato on the plate and Manu rates the jus as the best of the comp. The brussels sprouts were inconsistently cooked.
Karen loves the flavour of the pasta dish but notes she didn’t get a cherry tomato, whereas another plate had five. Fass would be happy to eat it while out for a meal but is not sure if it’s semi final worthy. Manu says the dish reflects the rushed finish.

Dessert time
Carmine fills his ramekins with peach sorbet and in his flustered state accidentally drops the churner container in the bin. Luckily they’d plated already.

Anyone for peach sorbet with cabbage leaf?
Anyone for peach sorbet with cabbage leaf?

On the sidelines, the Sisters are salivating over the look of Anna and Jordan’s cannoli, but note the praline is too warm for blitzing, so it’s not crunchy. Anna goes ahead even though it’s so warm she can stretch it in her hands but luckily Jordan tastes it and refuses to put it on the plate. They decide to try a ganache instead.
On the other side L & C are rushing and trying to put cold yoghurt mousse on to a hot crumb. Just put it on the other side, Lauren!
Lauren’s dessert is certainly more modern but the yoghurt and sorbet look runny and the cannoli is just begging to be chomped into.

Time to chew


Fass says peaches “sing of summer” and the yoghurt cuts through the sweetness of the mousse. Karen thinks they use simple ingredients well.
Guy says cannoli takes him back to his childhood and it’s “refined”. Karen says the pastry is textbook perfect. Manu loves the ice cream and he likes this dish more than the entree and main.

Scoring
C&L
Karen is full of praise for their “celebration of the produce”. Ditto Guy. Fass says their chook was “a lesson how to cook chicken”. Pete knocks the sprouts but Manu loves the jus.
Guy 8, Liz 8, Karen 7 (seems low given her raving), Fass 7, Pete 8, Manu 8. Total 46/60

Looks like Anna and Jordan can only win if they get props for technical difficulty – and if the magnificent cannoli wipes out the memory of entree.
A&J
Fass tells them a better way to balance their oysters (he’s always good with constructive criticism) but Liz relives the horror of biting on oyster shell.

Shell shocked.
Shell shocked.

The judges rave about the flavour of the pasta but note the presentation was haphazard. More positive cannoli comments. Manu really “anchoyed it”.
Guy 7, Fass 6 (when Jordan see this he knows they are going home)
Defeat is in their eyes.
Defeat is in their eyes.
Karen 6, Liz 5, Manu 6, Pete 6. Total 36/60

Jordan is devastated but Anna is cool as a cucumber. A concerned Manu asks: “Are you all right, buddy?” So all that practise at the bottom paid off for C&L when the pressure was on, plus they chose smart dishes they could complete within the timeframe.

Who'd have thunk it.
Who’d have thunk it.

Pete gives a nice speech about the great food Anna and Jordan have produced and how they’ve inspired families to cook with their kids. Jordan may be crying now but he’ll fall on his feet. Surely a media career beckons – he just needs to find the right gig.
I wish the judges would give separate score for technical difficulty and creativity as well, so teams who push themselves can get a scoring boost.

See you for the grand final, 7.30pm tomorrow.

Final four. Go, Sisters!
Final four. Go, Sisters!

Who’ll be watching House Rules on Wed? And MasterChef on Sunday?



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MKR – Tues – Anna and Jordan cook

Anna and Jordan arrive home to a party that was not at all organised by the producers. They totally did not just leave their house, drive round the block and pull up out the front. Why does no-one else get a party? Other teams get a quick cuddle if they are lucky. Thank goodness Jordan is back in a nice shirt again.
It’s off to the shops and they are getting their fruit and veg at a greengrocer, not Coles. And their meat is from a specialty butcher but the blue swimmer crab comes from Coles (perhaps that was in the contract).

Menu
Entree
Gnocchi with mushrooms and truffle
Squid with almond tarator and citrus salsa (tarator is a type of soz)
Main
Black and white crab ravioli with a crab bisque
Suckling pig with apple and celeriac
Dessert
Rhubarb and ginger bombe Alaska
Vanilla panna cotta with espresso jelly and crostoli

It all sounds divine.
I can’t remember any team cooking a whole animal before so this will be cool to watch. Jordan says: “We’re lucky enough to have an outdoor kitchen with a commercial size oven.”
Anna and Jordan are multitasking like crazy in their two kitchens – they have so much to do. I can totally see Anna giving cooking demos or classes in the future. There’s a little light bickering, mainly because Anna won’t trust Jordan to do his job, which is the gnocchi. Surprised she didn’t do that one while he made dessert, which needs less intuition.
Here come the guests and Lauren is in a really nice dress, but then they show a confessional of her again mentioning the “two-fiddy-kay”. Urgh.
lauren dress

They love to put Zana in plunging necklines.
They love to put Zana in plunging necklines.
The guests are seated next door to the outdoor kitchen so are getting tantalising wafts of that piggy sizzling away. And here come Pete and Manu, to the strains of Dare by Gorillaz.

As the menus are read there are lots of happy smiles from the guests and I’m with the sisters – suckling pig all the way. Laura and Zana both think it’s a menu well within Anna’s capabilities. Poor Laura knows she’s on the chopping block and safe Lauren looks like the cat who’s got the cream.
Back in the kitchen Jordan is worried that Mama hasn’t assembled the bombe Alaskas yet – he seems to be in charge of time management. She listens but then, just as they are debating the best way to cook the squid, in comes Manu. I’ve never seen him come in so early before – are they trying to rattle them? Then, Jordan has gnocchi drama because they are so delicate and losing “pillowiness”, so Anna takes over. They do look delicious, though. There’s a bit of tension over cooking methods so Jordan takes over plating up while Anna cooks the protein, which is playing to each of their strengths. Plating done, they kiss and make up. “Come here – I want to apologise because I’m being a bitch,” Jordan says.

Time to chew


Manu tells them they need to work as a team and Jordan confesses “I’ve been a bit of a pain”.
“I would agree with that,” Manu deadpans. “I would never talk to my mum like this.” Anna says it’s all in the heat of the moment and “no offence taken.”
Manu had the gnocchi and loved the mushroom flavours and texture, but says the gnocchi – while delicious and caramelised – wasn’t right.
Pete loved the squid dish’s flavours but thought the tarator was too pasty. But it was still excellent.

Back in the kitchen
Jordan’s a bit down and has a little moment. “I just want it really bad,” he tells Anna, crying. Awww.

Poor boy.
Poor boy.
In the restaurant Lauren says the squid is a “flavour bomb” while Mitch and Laura critique the gnocchi harshly. No hairs, though.
Anna gets on to the crab while Jordan laminates the pasta, creating cool black lines with the squid ink-dyed pasta. Impressive – I thought they’d just do separate black ravioli and white ravioli.
Stripey!
Stripey!
They seem to have an electric pasta machine – I’ve never seen one before! Google says you can get one for about $250.
Anna and Jordan are bickering a bit about the pig, and how to achieve crackling without drying out the meat. And their pig juss is too salty for sauce, so Jordan has the great idea to add his celeriac and apple liquid, and it works. They plate up and the black stripes on the ravioli look like nori. Surprised they didn’t serve something green with the pork.

Time to chew


As the mains are served Laura whispers to Mitch: “Smells like two-minute noodles”. Ooh – snarky.
Pete had the pork: “You took a huge risk cooking a suckling pig.” It’s another fake out. “I absolutely adored it… I won’t say it was a pretty dish but it was a bloody good dish.”
Manu liked the technique of the striped pasta and though the dish was really tasty, but the bisque was too thick.
Zana finds the bisque too rich but they are mainly interested in showing negative comments from the Curlies.

Back in the kitchen it’s dessert time and Anna gets on to the crostoli. I remember the twins made this last year. Then Anna has a blast wielding the brulee torch for the meringue. Will they cop flack for serving panna cotta in a glass? They would on MasterChef, where it’s all about wobbly bits. It looks good, though.

Time to chew


Pete pours the spirit over the bombe Alaska and Manu flicks the gas lighter on, but there’s only a small flame and everyone’s underwhelmed. He struggles to cut through the base of the dessert. And it turns out it’s because they froze their sponge with the rhubarb and ice cream, so it’s all rock hard. This must be a recipe they’ve never done before. “You’ve got this layer of icy fruit which isn’t pleasant at all, guys.” The meringue was good. Pete says it’s below average. Uh oh – a bombe.
Manu loved the flavour of his panna cotta and the espresso jelly. The crostoli was the perfect accompaniment. However, while Manu is ok with the dessert being in a glass the panna cotta is too thick. I can’t tell whether he said it should be “bouncing” or “dancing”. (Think they used too much gelatine.)
The Sisters are the only ones who’ve enjoyed everything tonight but they did luck out with their choice of textures. Even Lauren, who’s heaped praised upon the other dishes, hates the bombe Alaska. And, of course, Mitch and Laura are facing elimination and didn’t like anything.
So that’s two talented teams who’ve faltered under pressure – they could have done with a few of Lauren’s sudden death cook-offs to toughen them up.
Time to score, and Anna and Jordan should still beat Curlies score of 60.

Scores
Sisters 8; Carmine and Lauren 6; Zana and Plus One 8; Curlies 6. Total 28/40

Entree Pete 8 (squid), Manu 7 (gnocchi); Main Pete (pig) 9, Manu (ravioli) 9; Dessert Pete 4 (bombe Alaska), Manu 7 (panna cotta) . Total 72.

Tomorrow night it’s Zana and Gianni and don’t forget there’s another episode Thursday night, as there’s no MKR Sunday. Presumably we won’t hear Z and G’s scores until the Thursday so they can string out who’s made the semi finals. And what the heck is Manu holding up in the ad?

What eez eet?
What eez eet?



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MKR – Sun, Apr 10 – Fassnidge challenge

It’s time to see how the teams cope in a real kitchen under the scrutiny of our favourite Oirish chef.
Yes, it’s off to 4Fourteen in Surry Hills, NSW, which has lots of happening restaurants.
Here we go …

Cue nervous laughter.
Cue nervous laughter.
The teams arrive at Kitchen HQ and learn they are cooking at a real restaurant and Fass tells them it’s not just any restaurant: “It’s moi restaurant.”
They look equally scared and excited. They have 90 minutes to create a main course worthy of 4Fourteen, which has a nose-to-tail ethos.
Fass’s chefs and restaurant managers will also be tasting the food. And the winner will not only get bragging rights; their dish goes on to his regular menu. That’s the equivalent of getting a spread in Elle magazine in Australia’s Next Top Model.
Laura's a tad excited.
Laura’s a tad excited.
Losers will go to sudden death and then Fass drops the bombshell that he won’t even set foot in the kitchen. Surely he’ll be yelling at them from the pass at some point, otherwise that would be no fun.
It’s not a huge place so they’ve split the teams into two shifts.
Love the open kitchen and the green lights.
Love the open kitchen and the green lights.
Jordan and Anna are focused and determined to win – apparently Anna has dreamt of being a chef for decades. They haven’t put a foot wrong thus far.
Here's a pic just for Windong so she can swoon over Jordan in  chef's whites.
Here’s a pic just for Windsong so she can swoon over Jordan in chef’s whites.
They have taken heed of Colin Fassnidge’s warning to not waste any food – let’s see who forgets and suffers the wrath of The Fass.
The menus of shift one
Anna and Jordan: Charred harissa octopus with duck fat potatoes and kale
Zana and Plus One: Salt-baked rainbow trout with sauce vierge and heirloom tomatoes.
Mr and Mrs Chops: Lamb liver and onions with crispy black pudding and sweet potato (sounds heavy – is there anything to provide freshness on the plate?)
(Remember, Dads aren’t cooking tonight as they won the Coles magazine challenge with their peri-peri chicken.)
Plus One is peeling blanched tomatoes ever so slowly – did he forget to cut crosses in the bottom? Zana is doing a Marco Pierre White and thinks if she repeatedly tells him to work faster he will become more technically competent. Manu pops into the kitchen to make everyone even more nervous.
So much better now than in the velvet smoking jackets.
So much better now than in the velvet smoking jackets.
Mr Chops is feeling confident, which means we should be worried for him – I really hope they don’t overcook the liver.
Gianni and Zana are serving a herb sorbet with their fish, which sounds intriguing. They’re pushed for time but I guess the restaurant has a blast chiller.
The judges like the sound of the Chopses’ dish, but are worried about Jordan’s call to serve the occy in a sea of kale and apple soup, and worried about how much work Zana and Plus One have to do. Luckily Zana is a machine at multitasking.
Anna has a lot going on.
Anna has a lot going on.

No Lemon Squeeze on Colin's kitchen.
No Lemon Squeeze on Colin’s kitchen.
Anna takes the occy out of the pressure cooker and is worried it’s a bit over, while Zana reckons her trout is perfect. Jordan is not happy with his unbalanced kale juice – Jordan, it’s not the balance, it’s the fact you decided to use the devil’s vegetable in your dish.
Fass’s staff arrives and it’s almost time to serve. Zana and Plus One are way behind, so Manu steps in to organise their bench space.
Manu to the rescue.
Manu to the rescue.
Everyone’s panicking and the Chopses are just chucking stuff on the plate. It ain’t pretty and Eve knows it: “Jase, that’s a bloody doh’s breakfast.”
Jordan is adding the kale juice even though he’s not sure about it. It will either be a triumph or a disaster.
Note Colin got a waistcoat again, because that's what Oirishmen wear, apparently.
Note Colin got a waistcoat again, because that’s what Oirishmen wear, apparently.

Let the tasting begin.


As suspected the liver is overcooked. Fass likes that they used offal but it’s an old-fashioned fish. Manu says it’s missing finesse.


Everyone likes the balance of the harissa heat and kale juice and the occy is delish. Fass: “There’s nothing on this dish I’d change.” Manu suggests thickening the juice to a more soz-like consistency. The staff reckon it would sell.


The fish is cooked well, but the sorbet puzzles everyone. Manu thinks the dish would be easier to eat with trout fillets so diners don’t have to dodge the bones.
So, Anna and Jordan are in the lead thus far.

Menus of shift two
Sisters: Pan-roasted duck with turnips, apple and miso
Carmine and Lauren: Balsamic-glazed pork ribs with parsnip puree and red cabbage pickle
Curlies: Sous vide lamb with crispy brains and caramelised onion puree (sounds like a winner already)

This kind of challenge is right up the Curlies’ alley, and the Sisters should do well also. The Curlies have chosen a challenging dish, while Lauren is doing, umm, balsamic ribs. Sounds like something I’d cook at home – not pay for at a restaurant. And she’s doing her dreadful gangsta accent again. Ick.
Manu pretends to stir the Sisters by questioning their use of miso, but they point out Fass already uses it on his menu. Gracia has a brain malfunction and freaks out that the oven is too hot, but luckily Tasia knows the difference between Fahrenheit and celsius.

Oops.
Oops.
But later Tasia keeps calling turnips “tulips”, so perhaps their ditziness is genetic. Just as well they can cook – they’ve smartly done a test duck breast so they can test the strength of the commercial oven.
Curly Laura is making a rosemary ash to coat the cooked lamb – it’s ambitious stuff. Burnt rosemary is rather bitter but she usually knows what she’s doing.
Lauren is feeling the pressure of her pressure cooker not working, but luckily Carmine is keeping a cool head.
The judges think the ribs could be too sweet and cooking duck is tricky but Fass is keen on the lamb dish: “You had me at brains. Very cheffy but can they pull it off?”
The other teams are doing well not to be rattled by the Sisters’ screeching. Fass reminds Pete he once hired a past contestant who still works for him. But they don’t name names for some reason. (Thanks, Google – it was Drasko! Ah, that’s right – the ADD-type guy with the talented cook wife. Still, if Fass’s kept him on so long he must be doing ok.) The judges are worried the Curlies are juggling too many elements and that the Sisters’ miso soz won’t taste right.
Speaking of soz, Curlies have forgotten to make their stock into a jus, so with what appears to be five minutes to go Mitch chucks some in a pan and cranks it. Manu pops by to give advice on how to plate efficiently and in the process calls Laura “darling”. She’ll get a job out of this from someone, no matter how much further she goes. If Drasko can get a job in a kitchen, it should be a cinch for Laura. Lauren and Carmine are also having soz trouble – they haven’t made enough. Curlies’ jus isn’t working so they ditch it and add more mint sauce.
Time to taste


Everyone loves the lamb and Fass is super impressed, even though he thinks it needed the jus: “It’s like finals week cooking.”


Pete loves the cabbage but Fass thinks it’s the best thing on the plate. The ribs are a bit dry and flavourless – they needed heaps more glaze. One of the floor staff points out 4Fourteen already serves a rib and pickled cabbage dish. Didn’t the teams get to peruse the menu beforehand? Maybe not.


“It’s a playful dish,” says Pete, who then points out it would be easy to serve in the restaurant. The woman who appears to be Fass’s head chef wouldn’t change a thing and thinks the customers would love it.
So is it between the occy and the duck, because Curlies’ dish is too labour intensive for kitchen service? Bottom two must be Lauren and Chopses.
Time for judging
Pete is in raptures over Jordan’s kale juice: “It made the dish.” Chopses cop the overdone liver critique on the chin – they aren’t delusional like some past contestants. The other comments are more of what we’ve heard already, although they are harsher on Zana in order to build up this fake rivalry with Lauren. And the winning team, who get their dish added to the 4Fourteen menu, is …

Next on the menu: stunned mullets.
Next on the menu: stunned mullets.
They also get an advantage is the next challenge.
And the bottom two teams are … Chopses and Lauren and Carmine. No surprise there. Zana’s dish was waaaay more complicated than pork ribs and tasted good.

What do you think Anna and Jordan’s advantage will be? More time to cook? If this was MasterChef they’d get to choose the ingredient everyone would cook with, but MKR doesn’t like to freestyle it.



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MKR returns Easter Monday

It’s movie challenge night and the teams have to create a dinner box for 300 families, consisting of a star dish and some sides. So I’m expecting ads for KFC in the breaks, offering a similar product.
Tasia and Gracia look scared when they hear 300, but it’s not like they have to cook 300 actual portions of their food.
Paige is back after her hand surgery and I can’t see a bandage.
paigehand
And in the next scene she’s driving the car to Coles, so that fish fin injury can’t have been too serious, even if they did have a break between filming (although later she does mention she’s having trouble carrying things).
Lauren and Carmine get to sit this one out because they won with the fisherfolks’ hearts with their straightforward salmon dish at the seafood challenge.
Are we missing JP and Snow White? Not on your Nelly. We spend a good minute promoting whatever car brand that is and the show is now called My Car With a Reversing Camera Rules.
Sisters are cooking Korean fried chicken with miso corn and cabbage salad. Yum – winner, winner, chicken dinner.
Jordan and Anna are doing Mama’s homemade pies with mash and peas. Anna is making not one but two pastries. Shortcrust is a quickie but puff is tough – these guys sure do like to challenge themselves. They are a world away from some of the others in the comp.
Mr and Mrs Chops and Zana and Plus One are first ones back to the warehouse, so they’ll have the longest cooking time. Chopses are cooking lamb rogan josh with pilaf rice and chapati.
Zana and Gianni are also doing lamb – always a crowd fave: Lamb souvlaki with lemon potatoes and Greek salad. We know from the ads they struggle with time management, yet they have chosen a dish that has a long cooking time.
Curlies are making katsu chicken bento box with pork dumplings. They’ll be battling the Sisters for title of tastiest fried chicken, but I’m not sure if another meat element is a good idea.
There’s more lamb on the menu, with the Dads doing lamb kofta with quinoa and pomegranate salad and haloumi (aka tastiest fried cheese in the world). It should be quick for them to make and sounds like something the grownups will love – just don’t think the kids will go for it. They could just eat the meat, since it’s on a stick.
Finally the boys arrive and get on to their cola ribs with onion rings and slaw. I hope they have enough time for their ribs to cook properly. It has a similar vibe to the tortilla they did well with at the Rio challenge, so they may live to fight another day.
Tarq and Dad are making chilli con carne with blackened corn and iceberg wedge salad.
Rosie and Paige are making pulled pork burgers with chicken bites and chips. Again, not sure about the two proteins in one dish.

The judges are watching the action and Fass is particularly excited by the thought of Anna and Jordan’s pies.

"I loike poies."
“I loike poies.”

Any Ben and Holly fans out there (if you have young kids you’ll know what I mean). He reminded me of the gnome.
https://youtu.be/99bxsMNviZQ?t=7m34s

Pete is excited by the Sister’s Korean Fried Chicken. They are wisely slashing their drumsticks to help them cook evenly, so there should be no raw chicken disaster tonight. The girls are doing their bickering thing. “Concentrate on your mayo; don’t screw it up,” says Tasia. Or is it Gracia?
Zana is having potato dramas; they’ve stuck to the tray and seem to be swimming in liquid. They do not do well at these away from the kitchen challenges.

"Not happy, Jan."
“Not happy, Jan.”

Fass pops over to spook the Miners and implies to Paige her planned method of cooking chips is rubbish, so you know there is trouble ahead.

The families start to arrive and it looks like it’s going to be a fun night for them. They’ve brought eskies with them, so hopefully there’s some backup food in there for if they get a dud dish.
Service starts and the Sisters’ dish looks delish. Anna and Jordan’s pies aren’t ready and Zana is, as always, not ready to serve. “I feel like I’m cursed with the outdoor kitchens,” she tells Confessional.

Time for the judges to taste …

They love this one, which comes with toasted cheese soldiers for dipping.


This gets the thumbs up and Fass notes a lot of work has gone into it. Good on you, Chopses – you started off shakily but are reaching new heights every challenge.


The Dads get the thumbs down for their bland koftas but the salad is tasty.
Tasia and Gracia are having trouble keeping up with the demand for their chicken, so the Miners kindly let them use their deep fryers. Aw, good on you, boys. You’re still learning to cook but someone sure raised you well.


Pete and Fass tear into the Sisters’ chook and they are loving it. I want a bucket delivered to my house. Fass: “I’m not going to talk; I’m just going to eat.”


Mitch and Laura (aka Curlies) rice is overcooked – which they know – but as a whole the dish is “flavour plus”. They’ still looking solid to make final four.
Oops – there’s no pic of Paige and Rosie’s pork sliders and nuggets, but you’re not missing much. As expected, the chips are no good (soggy) and Pete says the nuggets are all batter. The pulled pork burger is dry. Oh dear – no doubt the girls have had a few sleepless nights since Paige injured herself, and this is the result. They are definitely in danger.


The lamb is a bit dry and underseasoned (the second most often uttered phrase on MKR, after “where’s the soz?”) and the Greek salad doesn’t seem to be dressed. The pita bread is good, at least. These guys need to work on their time management.


The Miners cop a caning for the sweetness of their ribs and their weird honey dressing. “That is a shocker of a dressing,” says Fass.

Pete's not happy, Jan, either.
Pete’s not happy, Jan, either.


We see the judges taste the pies and then just get Pete saying: “I’ve got three teams jockeying for bottom place and we need to pick two.”
Editors, is this meant to make us think the pies are bad? Because it’s obvious they are fabulous. Pete’s bottom three would have to be Paige and Rosie, Zana and the Miners. I think the Dads will be safe because they had other tasty elements.

It’s back to Kitchen HQ for the judging lowdown. We already know most of it. Curlies are stoked to hear Pete describe their tonkatsu sauce as “a revelation”. Zana’s dish was mediocre, and she knows it.
worriedzana
And now to the pie praise: “Mama did well. She knocked it out of the park,” says Fass. They did amazingly well to make the two pastries, chicken and leek filling, peas and cabbage, mash and their own tomato sauce. They have yet to put a foot wrong.

And People’s Choice goes to … no surprise: Tasia and Gracia. They are stunned.
And off to Sudden Death are … Rosie and Paige and Alex and Gareth. Not a surprise – Zana is lucky she makes awesome bread.
Poor Miners, but they absolutely deserved it.

So, sudden death tomorrow and the Wednesday synopsis is: A quintessential family favourite, the Australian Rodeo is the backdrop for today’s challenge. Teams must focus on creating an unforgettable marinade that’s full of flavour for their BBQ based dish.
Sounds an awful lot like a barbie challenge they did for MasterChef last year.



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MKR – Wed, Mar 16

We’re at Sydney Olympic Stadium and finally we get to see cooking from Zana and Plus One, Dads/Mates and the Italians. They have to cook for 200 future Olympians, Paralympians and trainers, so the food has to be tasty and nutritious.
As Jordan, looking foxy in this shirt …

Foxy Jordan, just for you, Windsong.
Foxy Jordan, just for you, Windsong.
… says, the Dads have an advantage here as one is a nutritionist.
The “ather-leets”, as Colin calls them, vote for their fave, who will be safe from the next two eliminations. Pete and Colin will choose the two weakest teams, who will enter a sudden death cook-off, as per last night’s Duck Nutters V Lauren and Carmine. (Where’s Manu? Filming new Campbell’s stock ads? It’s been the Colin and Pete show the last two nights.)
It looks like a hot day but luckily they provide the contestants with hats, so there should be no Survivor-style near death experiences (well, until the atherleets eat the food).


Zana, the germaphobe is not keen on cooking outside because there could be “dust and bacteria flying everywhere”. I don’t think she went camping as a kid. They base their dish on a good protein choice, chicken livers, but given the athletes are all quite young the offal is a worrying choice. Their dish is “Loaded capsicum” with chicken livers and sweet potato chips”. But they are not actually writing the word “liver” on their menu board. Hope no vegetarians take a bite.
Jordan and Anna are doing Sweet potato and buckwheat gnocchi with kale pesto. I’ve never seen buckwheat gnocchi but kale is such an overrated “superfood” and it’s icky. Pete should love this one.
Oh no – both Italians are wearing hats, so I can’t tell which one is Hat and which one is Sans Hat. They are making veal involtini with spinach and polenta sticks. Yum!
The Lovebirds are doing chilli beef on sweet potato with a power salad.
Lauren and Carmine are gym-going types so should know what athletes like. They are doing herb chicken with roast veg quinoa. As Lauren says, they have cooked more than most of the teams there so are used to performing under pressure.
Pete hasn’t even seen the Dads/Mates cook before. They are making Mexican chicken tortilla cups.
The Sisters are bickering and hats off to the editors for playing the Muppet Show theme.

Anyone else know their names are Statler and Waldorf? I didn't until just now.
Anyone else know their names are Statler and Waldorf? I didn’t until just now.

They are making quinoa-crusted chicken with grain salad and coriander dressing. Hope there’s a decent whack of veg in there. They plan it to be a healthy version of a schnitty.
Tarq and Dog, er, Dad are making spiced prawns with peshwari curry and wholemeal roti.
As they cook some athletes train in the background, and the camera only cuts to jiggling hurdler Michelle Jenneke once every segment.
Paige and Rosie are doing dukkah-crusted lamb with pistachio and quinoa salad. They are keen to redeem themselves after the RSL duck with watermelon salad.
Colin comes over to check Mr and Mrs Chops aren’t using jars. They are doing pork fillet with pearl couscous and harissa. Can’t say I’d cook pork for a Pork Ambassador when I was already on his hit list.
Everyone’s getting hot and flustered and the pressure is getting to poor Rosie – luckily Paige has her back and Colin gives her a pep talk.


The Miners are making fish tacos with corn salsa and guacamole. Sounds tasty, simple and good summer food – please don’t stuff it up, boys! The are using a pasta machine to roll their taco dough – hope it’s not too thin.
With 15 minutes to go some teams are in a better place than others. It’s so hot it looks like Zana’s false eyelashes are sticking to her eyebrows. The judges like the sound of Anna and Jordan’s buckwheat gnocchi but not so much Lauren and Carmine’s chicken quinoa.
JP and Nelly are worried their sweet potatoes aren’t cooked. Which is because they chucked them in the oven whole, instead of chopping them in half and wrapping in foil to conduct more heat.

It’s service time and Zana and Plus One have nothing to serve.
Gareth (Man Bun Miner) gets the Duck Nutters Memorial Juss Award from pronouncing tortilla as “tor-till-a”. At least non-Man Bun knows how to say it. The judges like the look of their dish. “That’s a good dish,” says Colin. “I’d pay for that.” I can’t wait to see the lads’ faces when they finally get a good critique.


Tasia and Gracia’s chicken gets the thumbs up for its delicious herby sauce.


Anna and Jordan’s gnocchi is “delicious”, says Pete.


Lauren and Carmine’s chicken is “a bit burnt” says Pete and the pumpkin is still raw. can you imagine Lauren’s reaction if she is sent back to sudden death? She’ll have Carmine fitting the judges with concrete boots.


JP and Nelly’s chilli beef with power salad is a bit heavy for the weather. Pete just likes the salad.


The lamb and quinoa by Rosie and Paige is ok but could be better.


Chris and Cookie’s tortilla cups get respect but could do with more seasoning, says Colin. Pete reckons the athletes will lap it up.

With 15 minutes left of service Zana and Plus One still haven’t plated up a dish. Their sweet potato chips just aren’t cooking. Forget the chips and serve the capsicum at least! Zana is only happy with the livers and bursts into tears. A lovely athlete comes over to give her a buck up.
Mr and Mrs Chops serve tender pork but it’s a bit bland, although Colin says “it’s a good dish”. Redemption for the Chopses!


Finally, the judges taste Zana’s food and Pete says the chips look “sad”. The capsicum isn’t cooked and one poor girl breaks her cutlery trying to saw through it.


The Italians are putting on a show for their waiting customers, singing That’s Amore. “It’s not singing to me at the moment,” says Colin. They think it looks drab and the veal is dry.


Tarq and Dad have done a lot of work to get those elements done, they didn’t back off on the spice and Pete says it’s “rockin'”.

So, are we thinking bottom two Lauren and Zana?
Time for the judges’ critiques and it’s more of what we saw earlier, except Colin ask the Sisters for their coriander sauce recipe – high praise indeed. It was nice to see the Chopses’ relief and Jordan’s reaction to Pete’s praise. The Miners must think they are dreaming when Pete says “nothing to fault”. Good on them.
The team that’s the atherleets’ choice is Anna and Jordan. Yay! That was a tricky dish to pull off.
Sudden death teams are Zana and Plus One and Luciano and Martino. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! This is the point in the competition where those who do well under pressure thrive, even if they are not the best cooks.



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