MKR – Tues, Mar 29 – Miners V Besties

It’s Sudden Death time for Rosie and Paige V Man Bun and Non Man Bun. Go South Straya!

Last time through the doors of Kitchen HQ for ...??
Last time through the doors of Kitchen HQ for …??

paigerosstart

You’d think Besties have this in the bag but Rosie is right – they’ve never felt the pressure of Sudden Death before. No mention of Paige’s injury as yet.
Manu’s back. Dammit. Thought he might have gotten lost on one of his “My France” jaunts and we could have lured The Khoo back.

The Menus
Miners
(who are going with a chilli theme)
Entree: Five spice prawns with papaya salad and coriander dressing (just don’t put honey in the dressing like last night, lads)
Main: Snapper with green chilli coconut broth
Dessert: Doughnuts with chilli chocolate ice cream and rhubarb
All sounds delish if they can cook the seafood properly and balance their flavours.

Besties (Middle Eastern comfort food)
Entree: Cauliflower fritters with yoghurt soz and tabouli
Main: Roast quail with peas, mint and speck
Dessert: Flourless Persian cake with rosewater jelly
Yum, although I’m not mad on rosewater. Prepping quail is going to be tricky for someone with a thumb injury.

Strangely Rosie is not following the strategy of the teams in the last sudden death round of using packet stock and gallons of red wine to make her “juss”. Perhaps that’s why Manu was absent for the movies challenge – too much bad jus-jus.
Jordan yells out to a deboning Paige: “For every quail you do I’ll give you 10 kisses.” She shoots back: “Jordan, I just got slower; it’s weird.” Yep, they need to stay and HOLY MOLEY WHAT IS MANU WEARING?
I only had half an eye on the screen until now and missed the gloriousness of this:

Not even Matt Preston dons purple velvet.
Not even Matt Preston dons purple velvet.

Looks like our main sideline commentators tonight are Carmine (Has Lauren lost her voice? JP and Nelly did mention she had been sick), Zana and Jordan.
Miners and Lovebirds - this is how you make a stock.
Miners and Lovebirds – this is how you make a stock.

Rosie is going like the clappers doing a million jobs while Paige is stuck on Quailgate, and the deboning is sending Paige a bit loopy. Rosie has to tell her to stop mucking around and you can see the stress starting to creep in. Keep it together, girls. These quail better be worth it. Imagine if they spend all this time on them and then overcook the meat.
With about half an hour to go Paige ditches the quail and gives Rosie a hand so they can at least get an entree out.
Over on the Miners’ side Alex is using a mandolin without the safety thingy and I can’t watch because that’s how I ended up in hospital years ago while making a potato bake (there’s a happy ending to the story – none of the blood got on the potato bake).
Luckily Gareth realises he forgot to put garlic in the curry paste. If I was Alex I’d be tasting everything Gareth was in charge of.
Gareth starts cooking their tempura prawns and – god love him – says he is “chooffed” with himself.
Plating up is done in the usual rush and both dishes look tasty.


Entree judging: The judges love the prawns and the dish as a whole, but wish they’d bammed up the chilli.
And they love the girls’ dish. Fass: “Cauliflower is the new rock star vegetable of the world at the moment.” Pete says it’s slightly better than the prawns.

Mains round
Paige gets back on to those damn quail while Rosie starts the cake. The boys were smart to choose something that could just simmer away.

Will it be worth it?
Will it be worth it?

Alex is doing a steam test of a snapper fillet (smart) while Gareth very slowly makes choux for their dessert, much to the frustration of the onlookers, who seem to regard him as an adorable doofus.
The girls are quite late getting their potato in the oven and they are freaking out over getting a main up. As Rosie says: “Ultimately, this could really change my family’s life.” Good to see them using frozen peas at least rather than wasting time shelling freshies but uh oh – Page forgot the quail. Use your timers! Have a Fuze tea and calm down.
The boys cut their fish to shorten the cooking time but they haven’t really tested the new size, plus they are adding even more chilli.
As they plate up Manu yells out: “Be generous with the soz – I love it!”
I know it’s edited to make each course look like it came down to the wire, but it genuinely looked as though the Besties just scraped in there.


Time for judging
I was going to pick the boys’ curry as my choice to taste – until they chucked chilli flakes over everything. Let’s see what the judges say.
Fass says the quail leg is great but the breast is a bit over. Pete loves the peas and Karen loves the jus. They give props for the quail deboning. “I was sold when I tried the jus,” says Manu.
On to the snapper. Guy: “I feel like I’ve just been punched in the face with this dish … in a really good way.” Liz says the fish has been respected. The other teams seem to prefer the snapper.

Dessert time
Gareth gets out the choux he made before and it’s gone crusty. Did he not cling wrap it? Ditch it, Man Bun! You can make a new choux. Choux life!
Rosie’s rosewater jelly does look pretty. Hope it doesn’t taste soapy.

I don't think you're ready for this jelly ... my cake is just delicious.
I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly … my cake is just delicious.

Paige is making pistachio praline, so of course chucks a nut at Jordan on the sidelines. (Windsong is going to be sooo happy with all the Jordan screentime tonight. I reckon he looked better with shorter hair, though.)
Insert whatever filthy comment pops into your head.
Insert whatever filthy comment pops into your head.

Rosie manages to make mascarpone butter and Gareth is overcrowding the teeny fryer with his dough balls. At least they’ve done a rhubarb sauce to go with them, and rhubarb is always a winner in my books.
And then Curly Laura notices something is awry.
What's wrong with this picture?
What’s wrong with this picture?

The sidelines teams must not be allowed to yell out warnings, although surely that would add to the drama. So the Miners chomp through their “tester”, not realising it’s a balls up. No worries – just give that one to Pete. But, crisis averted, the boys notice and Alex scrapes out enough from the saucepan to make another ball.
The girls’ plating isn’t amazing and they decide to ditch the Persian fairy floss, which I think gave a nice height to the plate.
On or off?
On or off?

The boys’ dessert is the most visually appealing.


Dessert judging
Colin: “It’s a little bit doughy.” Karen likes the playfulness of it and the flavour combo. They love the ice cream, but the doughnuts were inconsistently cooked.
Guy loves the girls’ cake. Liz is impressed with their restrained use of rosewater in the jelly. Pete thought the cake looked boring but he loved the taste.

The scoring
Miners:
The snapper is Fass’s dish of the day. They get props for everything except the doughiness of their doughnuts and going too easy on the spice in the entree. Manu loooved that ice cream: “Pack it – sell it into shops.”
Who’d have thought after their last few shockers they’d do so well. Well done, boys.
Guy 9, Fass 7, Liz 8, Karen 8, Pete 8, Manu 9. Total: 49/60

Besties:
The girls are stoked to hear Manu say their jus was beautiful. It’s all positive, apart from Fass mentioning the overcooked quail breast.
Guy 9, Fass 8, Liz 9, Karen 8, Pete 9, Manu 9. Total: 52/60

SA Besties win and Pete utters what could be the kiss of death for them: “If I was the other teams I’d be looking at you as a real threat.”

Say what, Pete?
Say what, Pete?

Bye-bye, Miners! You can go back to wearing collarless shirts that fit your chests and biceps properly.
bye

Tomorrow night’s challenge is a barbecue one and it will be fun watching Zana try not to scream if a cow goes near her. Or a bird. Or a clod of dirt. And we are teased up for a big shortcut scandal involving the Chopses. Looks like they might have used a bottle of something in their marinade. We hear Fass berate them and Mrs Chops whispering to hubby: “Why didn’t you hide it?” Oh dear – just when they had redeemed themselves after RSL Jar-gate.

Colin "Jar Police" Fassnidge is on the case.
Colin “Jar Police” Fassnidge is on the case.

ENDS



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MKR – Wed, Mar 9 – the one where Rosie and Paige try to redeem themselves

Ok, time to see Paige and Rosie’s beautiful friendship and witty one liners (and, hopefully, yummy food) overshadowed by the drama of Feisty Cop and Villain Lauren. Can we just hurry up and get to the part of MKR where teams get to cook for the public?
The SA Besties start the day determined to be top of the leaderboard, so the music editor throws in a late 80s classic: New Kids on the Block’s You Got It (The Right Stuff).

And the music just gets better with Roxette’s Dressed for Success (and yes, I had the cassette of the album: Look Sharp!).

The judges are doing their preview bit and Pete is delighted to see a menu that flows, after the Miners’ trip around the world last episode.
Entree: Spiced lamb filo rolls with yoghurt sauce
Main: Chicken shawarma with hummus and flatbread
Dessert: Orange and almond syrup cake
It all sounds delicious but I’m wondering if they will make their own filo? They did it once on Great British Bake Off and it is labour intensive and required a tonne of bench space for the stretching.
They whip through Coles and after a visit to a crazy-haired butcher for chicken thighs, they are home.

Take a butchers at his hair.
Take a butchers at his hair.

And again they are running late, getting back to the house once the clock has started ticking. Geez, you make it hard for yourselves, girls. Luckily their setting up does not involve any broken signage this time so they are in the kitchen as the clock ticks 2:40.
Paige says their mantra is: “No stress, be calm, got each other’s backs.” As head chef Rosie tasks her with creating the dukkah for the entree.
Rosie gets on to the dessert and gets a double yolker for luck. Hopefully this means their ice cream won’t be glop this time.

And here come the guests to – of course – T Swift’s Bad Blood and Lauren and Carmine are leading the pack. (If any SVU fans have not seen the Bad Blood clip, check it out for a cameo by Olivia Benson )
However, there’s been a wardrobe malfunction: The Stepsies are not dressed alike. Was there a last-minute change after one of Lisa’s eyebrows melted off her face and stained her planned outfit?

"Where's my Daughtie? Look at moi, stranger in non-matching clothing."
“Where’s my Daughtie? Look at moi, stranger in non-matching clothing.”

In the dining room Rosie and Paige give their happy families spiel and Ducks Nutters and the Miners are pleased to be there, but the other three teams hate each other (well, that’s what it’s edited to look like and Hazel’s too upbeat to join in), so conversation is awkward and the Miners (who were stuck in the kitchen last time) don’t know what’s going on.
Feisty Cop is happy to fill them in because she likes to kick the hornet’s nest, and hornet Lauren is still defensive. Ad then they start arguing over whether or not Lauren is raising her voice. Lauren to Feisty: “You can’t throw that in my face because you did it the other night and you’re doing it again now.”
Then she tells the confessional: “Thanks, Monique, thanks for firing me up .. I can’t wait til you come to our instant restaurant because we are aiming for the top of the leaderboard and we are going to smash it out. How do you like them apples.”
Umm, she can’t wait because she is going to poison Monique with uncooked seafood? What does she think will happen? She will force Monique to give her a high score by the sheer brilliance of her cooking?

In the kitchen Paige is cooking some delicious-looking spicy lamb mince and – oh, sorry – it’s back to the drama, which probably lasted all of two minutes in real life but has now been going on for donkeys years because Channel 7 promoted the heck out of it.
Monique: Stop pointing your finger. Lauren: Don’t tell me what to do, Monique.
I’m waiting for Monique to say: “If you can’t be nice, young lady, go to your room.”
Here come the judges so we’ll finally get some peace and quiet. And, perhaps, some cooking. It does worry me the Besties are still cooking the filling for their filos, as it will have to cool before they can bake the pastries.
The guests peruse the menus and are surprised to see the Middle Eastern flavours.

In the kitchen Rosie makes her marinade for the chicken (wouldn’t that have been good to do earlier?) and she mixes up the paprika with cayenne pepper and the taste blows their heads off. Luckily before she chucks it out Paige tells her to do the bleeding obvious and add yoghurt to mute the spiciness.

Monique wants them to have minced their own lamb and made their own yoghurt. Given the latter takes at least four hours, it’s not really doable in the MKR timeframe. And, yes, they could have minced their own lamb but then we wouldn’t have got the footage of the Coles butcher who just happened to have a trolley of mince when they needed it.
The girls are determined not to freak out and stuff up like they did last time. They plate up their filos with a nice tumble of dressed rocket and it looks a bit underwhelming, but could well be delicious.

Cue the chew … Pete: “You’ve entered the competotion with this dish because you were cooking with love. The lamb filo roll was to die for.” And Paige bursts into tears – a common reaction for people speaking with Pete.
Manu’s turn: “It was good.” Manu, you are terrible at these fakeouts.. “It was great.” Manu loved it but wished they had a few more buttery layers of pastry.
Hooray – finally some good news for the Besties and in the kitchen they do a happy dance and hug it out.
At the table everyone loves it – Man Bun is in heaven – even those who were hoping for a disaster to save their own skins. In the confessional, Feisty says: “It’s like a bittersweet mouthful.” At least they aren’t doing the talking it down thing.

The Besties start prepping the elements of their chicken shawarma and at the table – and in the editing – there is much innuendo involving the word shawarma. To illustrate its supposed filthiness we get Ginuwine’s Pony (which IS filthy), which inspired a lot of grinding action in mid-90s nightclubs.

None of the guests is sure what shawarma is. Kell cuts to the chase: “I think it’s a fancy way of saying a kebab.”
But we’re in SA at the moment, so let’s call it a yiros, please.

In the kitchen Paige is blithely blitzing hummus while Rosie cuts chicken, pan-fries chicken and pan-fries pita bread, all while trying not to give anyone salmonella. And she burns it all. Making hummus is a dead-easy two-minute job. Why doesn’t one of them cut all the chicken while the other cooks it, then one person can fry the bread why the other makes hummus? Simple.
Rosie is starting to freak out, just when things were going so well. Go stick your head in the freezer and take some deep breaths, Rosie. Instead, Paige makes her dance it out (she’s been watching too much Grey’s Anatomy) and wisely takes the helm of Rosie’s gorgeous six-burner stove. Rosie gets it together and they plate up on round chopping boards, which is exactly what my local Middle Easter cafe does. They’re not happy with the bread but decide to serve it anyway. They are worried about the spiciness of the kitchen but with yoghurt, hummus and salad as sides it should be fine.


Chew o’clock …
BUT WAIT – WHAT’S THIS.
It’s an MKR ad about the twist. “None of you are seff,” intones Manu and we cut to a picture of Ducks Nuts, Cops and Lauren and Carmine. Guess we have to wait til Sunday to find out.
Back to the chew … And Manu gets to speak first for a change. But then Rosie starts talking the dish down, while Paige wishes she could gag her. Manu: “I think this is an amazing dish. The flavors are just dancing, jumping.” He agrees the bread was rolled too thinly. Pete says it’s one of the best chook dishes he’s had in the comp. And there are more tears from Rosie. Yay. They are on track to beat Nev and Kell and their uncooked marron.
Again, Man Bun is loving it. The Cops are less thrilled, saying there was not much skill involved. Serious;y, girls, if the judges praise a dish, you look like tools when you bag it out. And then we get a Pot-Kettle moment from Lauren: “Be a good sport about it.”
Hazel was loving it but then she gets a piece of raw chicken. Not good – why couldn’t the Cops get that bit.
In the kitchen the girls are testing their massive orange cake – two smaller cakes would have been easier. And then Rosie realises she forgot to add the almonds to the icecream, so they have to stir them by hand, which will delay the freezing further. The cake is looking great but the icecream has an inconsistent texture. They want to ditch it and Rosie offers to whip some cream, but Paige wants it served plain. You need something “wet” on there – are you out of yoghurt? Make a quick almond praline to jazz it up.
Instead they scoop out smaller quenelles of the successful scoops and for some reason plop them on the plate next to the hot cake. Why not clean off their icecream serving dishes and put them back on there, even if they did look small? Better than molten lava on the plate.


Luckily the cake looks divine.
Time to chews … “It works,” says Pete. “It’s moist, it’s full of flavour.” He would like more syrup. Manu stresses it’s a simple dessert and the ice cream’s texture is wrong, but the cake is right.
Most of the table likes it, but, the Cops find their orange cake too orangey. Man Bun miner is frustrated by the comments, yet polite: “I understand this is a redemption round and I think a lot of people are trying to hunt for something negative to say.”
He’s a nice boy.
The girls are definitely the best cooks of the round thus far but the teams are obviously suss about the looming twist and some are scoring to save themselves. Credit to the Cops and Lauren for not lowballing as hard as Nev and Kell.

Team scores: Cops 6; Ducks Nuts 5; Miners 10; Stepsies 3 (Yes, it’s low and strategic but on MasterChef raw chook gets you booted from the comp ASAP); Carmine and Lauren, 7.
Judges: Entree Manu 8, Pete 9; Main Manu 8, Pete 7; Dessert Manu 8, Pete 8.
Total score: 79 (top of the leaderboard, eight clear of Ducks Nuts, so Cops and Stepsies are still in the bottom two).

The girls are stoked – go South Australia!
And we get another twist promo for Sunday, with Manu proclaiming: “Hole is not what it sims. None of you are seff.”
What, do they have to do some instant cook-off to add to their score?

And now we have a break to catch our breath and prepare ourselves to watch Lauren cook on Sunday. And to see Lisa attack poor Man Bun.



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