It’s been a three-month slog but finally the end of My Kitchen Rules is nigh. Tonight Amy and Tyson face Valerie and Other Courtney in the grand final.
It seems a given that the brother and sister pairing will win, as they cook Modern Australian cheffy-type food, whereas mum and daughter’s Indian cuisine is delicious but doesn’t have the same impact presentation-wise.
However, they could well achieve success with their own range of sauces or meal kits if Coles jumps on board. Their bottled soz sold out in 24 hours and Coles must have been happy, as they’ve released a second batch of it. Or perhaps a publisher will want to print “Poppy’s book”.
Sunday 8.00 @mykitchenrules, QLD’s #ValerieCourtney & #AmyTyson go head to head in the #MKR Grand Final! Who will be crowned 2017 Champions? pic.twitter.com/HtdVIysvG5
— Channel 7 (@Channel7) 29 April 2017
MKR starts at 7.45pm on Seven (the House Rules premiere is before it) and goes until 10pm.
I’ll put up a new poll so you can vote for the winner.***
Here we go … finally, at 8pm.
We rip through the montage of times past and thank god, because it only serves to remind us of how mediocre some teams were.
The teams enters Kitchen HQ and it’s like they’ve stumbled on to the set of Survivor tribal council. There are urns shooting out flames everywhere.
Amy and Ty are in black, which usually means they won’t win. Manu is wearing a snazzy black velvet suit with a diamond pattern. Pete is not wearing his trademark blue. I know it’s a big night, but he looks better in blue.
Let's see what our teams dish up! #MKR pic.twitter.com/6KTrQAD94G
— #MKR (@mykitchenrules) 30 April 2017
They are making:
Parmesan and truffle mousse with mushies.
Pea and ham soup
Butter-poached marron with Jerusalem artichoke and rhubarb
Veal, sweetbreads and marron
After Dinner Mint
Mum and Other Court are cooking:
Samosa crisp with chaat
Salmon tikka skewers
Spiced Spanish mackerel with kichdi (Val describes it as an Indian risotto)
Pork vindaloo
Pistachio kulfi
I bought a ham hock today, so bring on the soup, Amy and Tyson – give me some tips! They are using fresh peas from punnets that have already been shelled – never seen that before.
White team’s chaat seems to be chickpeas with some spices. Unless they cooked the chickpeas in a pressure cooker and we didn’t see it, they came from a can. Hmmm. Will the judges give them a hard time, a la the Beardies and Pretzelgate? I’m looking at you, Guy Grossi and Liz Egan (aka The Other One).
I do enjoy Amy stirring her brother and making him call her “Chef”. Nothing beats sibling humour.
An hour in the families arrive and the tears start flowing. Aw, Amy and Ty’s folks are delightfully normal, but it’s the moustache belonging to what seems to be their brother that is mesmerising. It’s been waxed and twisted to peak stiffness. #MyMoustacheRules
Speaking of hashtags, here comes you know who, followed by the other teams.
Amy and Ty are using white truffle, which on truffletraders.com.au sells for $700 for 100g. Regular truffle is only about $200. Amy is running on pure adrenaline.
Amy is ninja mode!! #MKR pic.twitter.com/DwnmqrxMHO
— #MKR (@mykitchenrules) 30 April 2017
All the forgettable teams have been grouped together, including the Desperate Housewives of Wollongong, the young chicks and the mild-mannered Asian brothers. That’s enough of you lot – let’s see more of the midwife in the electric blue dress that has vines sprouting from thr neckline, threatening to strangle her.
Hello judges! You're all #dressedtoimpress 🔥🔥#MKR #GrandFinal #blacktie #AmyTyson #ValerieCourtney #Mosaic #TiffinRoom pic.twitter.com/vDW2ykKyKn
— Channel 7 (@Channel7) 30 April 2017
Entree is served …
Both look good but I reckon that samosa sack could be a bit tricky to eat – will the disc shatter when cut into?
Guy says it’s a “zingy little number”. Manu’s tastebuds are dancing.
Colin says A&T’s mousse packs a flavour punch. Pete loves it but wants something a little crispy for texture.
So, believe it or not, some people are actually watching The Voice while MKR is on. I’m not one of them but there’s a lot of social media chat about this girl, so have a look if you need a musical break. She’s rather good – and only 15!
Back in the kitchen, it’s on to course two and for the judges to visit each team and put the wind up them by mentioning that each is cooking pea soup. “Umm, I’m just going to go and grab some garam masala,” jokes Amy. Have I mentioned how much I like Amy?
Valerie and Other Court have obviously spent a lot of time working out the presentation of their dishes, balancing a mini salmon tikka skewer on a shotglass of soup, with something crunchy on the side for texture. The vibrancy of A&T’s pea soup in the dark bowls is stunning.
Course two is served ….
(Thank god I’m recording this because every ad I fast forward seems to feature the Hashtaggers flogging something).
Colin loves their refinement of peasant-style ingredients. The fried pork back fat is a winner. Pete says it’s faultless.
The Indian-style pea soup is, according to Karen, delicious and pleasant.
Time to cook course three …
Ty tells us how to cook marron and I hope Duck Nutter from last year is watching, given he served uncooked marron last year. OMG – Josh is on the sidelines talking about how to cook marron. MKR editors, are you trying to make me turn over to Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2? That’s how much I want his face to be off my TV screen. And now he is criticising A&T’s choice of a rhubarb accompaniment.
The girls are using finger lime with their mackerel, which is very Mod Oz. But they are having dramas with uncooked fish. That gets resolved but their plating is rushed and they are frazzled. Courtney tears up a bit, as her lovely Dad gives her encouraging thumbs ups from the sidelines.
Course three is served …
Guy says the marron was cooked properly. Liz has never had anything like it and is “thrilled”. The like the rhubarb.
The soz with the mackerel is a knockout, says Pete. Guy wanted less rice, less fish and more soz.
Time for course four …
Have I been pronouncing vindaloo incorrectly for decades? Or is it a regional thing. I haven’t heard “vindar-loo” before.
While the teams cook, see how many of these contestants you can name:
Go teams!! #MKR pic.twitter.com/L0ChVsPe9y
— #MKR (@mykitchenrules) 30 April 2017
A&T’s dish is, as per usual, very cheffy, using offal and bone marrow. Valerie shows the crowd she has a photo of her late father in her pocket. Oh dear – that started the tears. It’s great that they love him so much and he was obviously a fabulous cook but we’ve seen far too much of this – and the editors are to blame, not Valerie and Courtney. The dead relative edit just annoys viewers.
V&C are happy with their vindaloo soz.
Boom! #MKR pic.twitter.com/muN2hyWUFX
— #MKR (@mykitchenrules) 30 April 2017
Why is Amy putting the jus on using a spoon? Tip it in a jug! This could be one of those times we hear the old “stress on a plate”. Hopefully it taste great.
Course four is served …
They love the vindaloo and condiments. “Confident”, “superb’.
We get a lingering shot of Pete’s wobbling bone marrow (no, that is not a euphemism). Colin says the dish is chef standard. Karen tops him by saying it’s the best dish she’s eaten in eight years of MKR.
Time for the final course …
All seems well with A&T’s dessert but then Ty gets the shakes as he tries to quenelle the cremeaux and it’s hard to watch.
The kulfi looks good. It can often be too sweet, but V&C are smart to enough to know this and would have balanced their flavours accordingly. The tart berries will help. The processes used are not as complicated in A&T’s dessert but Ty does push teh edge with his flavours sometimes.
The judges taste …
Liz says the After Dinner Mint is faultless. Colin: “This dish made me happy.” (And now I’m popping to the fridge to hunt for chocolate.)
But is it enough to win a Grand Final!? #MKR pic.twitter.com/mtOMnGaF2k
— #MKR (@mykitchenrules) 30 April 2017
The kulfi dish is playful, says Karen. It’s refreshing. But no-one calls its faultless.
Are we there yet? After two hours of this I’m starting to fade … Surely A&T have won, even if they are wearing black?
It was good at least to have a grand final without a “bad guy” (remember Lauren and Carmine, Chloe and Kelly). And one in which no-one cooked bad food.
The judges speak …
This is usually just a repeat of the chat we hear as they taste. Urgh – we have to sit through the teams being asked about their journeys. Get to the scores!
I’m thinking mostly 9s for the ladies and a mix of 9s and 10s for A&T.
Valerie and Courtney
Karen 9, Guy 9, Colin 8, (yeah, Amy and Tyson have sooo got this), Liz 9, Manu 8, Pete 9. 52/60
Amy and Tyson
Colin 9, Guy 9, Manu 9, Karen 10, Liz 10, Pete 10.
Here comes the glitter confetti. Pity we know they film two alternate endings. Ah, Tyson says some lovely things about his sis and she gives him a loving punch in the arm.
Well done, Amy and Tyson!
Congratulations Amy and Tyson, you are the My Kitchen Rules Champions for 2017! #MKR pic.twitter.com/oynAQLEkdi
— #MKR (@mykitchenrules) 30 April 2017
(Now, thank god that’s over. Bring on MasterChef!)