Tag: Flo

Bachelor in Paradise – episode 2

Can we cut straight to the big question: What discount does the Bachie wardrobe department get for ordering men’s linen shirts in bulk?
Tonight no doubt the Flo/Davey/Jake drama continues. I’d like to see Flo kick them both to the kerb but we already know it will be the other canon fodder we’ve seen all too briefly.
RECAP
Flo and Jake head off on their date, walking through the rainforest to a waterfall.
Meanwhile, back at the resort Davey is moping around, whining that he likes Flo. He’s decided to wear a felt hat because that’s the perfect thing for the hot, Fijian summer climate.
We get a shot of Nina and Eden (the one no one remembers) having a nap together on a day lounge. And apparently Leah has told Mack he’s safe. So there go two of my early boot predictions.
All the boys are running the numbers for tonight’s looking rose ceremony and they are worried.
Here to add fuel to the fire is Sam. Remember voiceover man Sam with the odd blond ponytail? He made such a good start to Sophie’s season, turning up with his gorgeous little nephews. And it was all downhill from there.
Blake is ecstatic to see his bro Sam and they embrace passionately. Tara is not so happy:”No f—in way – he’s not getting a rose from me – I’ll tell you that much.” We definitely like Tara.
Nina and Lisa share her opinion – ticks for both of you. Davey sees the arrival of another dude as the final nail in his coffin. Keira could well pick someone like Sam just to stir things up.

Flo and Jake have a big pash at the waterfall despite her saying she does not want to give in to his magnetism.
We learn Clooney Luke really likes Lisa and apparently Tara and Michael have been hanging out.
And we learn they need to edit The Bachelor and Bachelorette like they do Bachiedise, because it’s fun seeing the outtakes of them talking to producers and demonstrating many of them have a limited grasp of English. Even the subtitler is quick to go for a gag by making it clear Keira does not know the difference between dreads and dregs. Even though he’s a dread, Keira is leaning towards giving newbie Sam her rose – his mocking of Bachie Richie probably helped.

Flo and Blake return and Davey acts like a kid who had his Tiny Teddies stolen by Jake. Jake has said several times he does not like drama. YOU ARE ON A REALITY TV SHOW! It’s nothing BUT drama. Meanwhile, Flo tells the girls she might not give Jake a rose. Davey’s still in with a shot. Everyone else is keen to discuss how things will pan out.


Michael, it seems, is not part of the bro gang. The talk then turns to Mr I Don’t Have a Girlfriend. Apparently his girlfriend could be coming on the show, so Tara has asked the other girls to keep him around. Hmmm – not cool. (The interweb says this is his Not Girlfriend – she’s from Matty J’s season. bio here)
But before that drama can explode here comes Ms Dirty Street Pie herself, Laurina. We learn that at home she likes to write inspirational mantras in her journal. She arrives at the resort with a date card. Blake’s eyes light up. I don’t think he knows who she is. He whisks her to the side almost instantly and tells her he has reevaluated some of his more douchey behaviour since appearing on TV. Hopefully this also means no more assaulting people.
Michael tells the camera he woudn’t mind a crack at Laurina himself, if things don’t work out with Blake.
Laurina’s date consists of them being told to lather themselves in volcanic mud. I notice neither of them puts mud in the other’s hair, because they are both no doubt proud of their hair. They end up having a pash in the water. Blake seems genuinely smitten. Laurina is matter of fact about it.


Meanwhile, a furiously fanning Tara is upset at the perception she is pressuring the others to keep Mr I Don’t Have a Girlfriend. There are tears on the beach and our first plaintive wail of “I don’t wanna be here!”.


Tara did not know Brett and Steph had told the producers they were both single. A producer straight out asks if he is in a relationship and after many politician-worthy avoidances he says they were seeing each other previously but it was never Facebook official. Total douche move. Tara has been played so they can get a free holiday.

Later, Osher interrupts an impromptu volleyball game to announce the rules of the first rose ceremony. So it’s back to the Flo-Jake-Davey triangle.
(By the way, can the producers please make the contestants wear more sunscreen. Blake’s nose was bright red and Flo’s back, too. I fear for ranga Jarrod.)
Everyone’s keen to know who she will pick.

The rose ceremony begins.
The first lot of picks all goes as expected: Nina and new beau Eden, Leah and Mack, Keira and Sam – whose hair is looking worse than ever thank to the humidity, Lisa and Luke, Laurina and Blake, Tara and Michael.
Flo is last and looks like she is trying not to vomit. She picks Jake.
So Davey and Mr No Girlfriend are gone. Does that mean Ms No Boyfriend Steph will no longer be coming on the show?

In the promo, we see Flo kicking herself for picking Jake and Megan (the one who dated Tiffany from the Richie season – that’s season where Richie gave the final rose to Alex and she also ditched him for a woman.) Ali and Jarrod also arrive and it seems the new love triangle is Ali, Jarrod and Keira. The question is: does Ali know she is in triangle. It’s probably more a love line.

And that’s it until next Monday – a whole week until we go back to Bachiedise! I’ll leave you with this demonstration of Keira’s mastery of the English language.



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