Category: Survivor

Australian Survivor – Sun, Sept 4

Our recorder has blown a gasket so I’m watching live tonight and, darn it, I missed the first few minutes.
Over at yellow shelter Sam and Conner are getting used to their new digs, while Nick (aka Aussie Rob C, but much brasher) and Tegan arrive at blue to find the shelter is soaking wet. Nice welcome.
“I’m out for blood,” says Nick, adding he was surprised Sue (the naughty Nanna) betrayed him.
I can’t wait to see what red tribe’s reaction to the swap is at the next challenge.
It’s night and a storm is lashing the island, leaving everyone – even Chester the chicken – soaking and dispirited. Except, that is, red tribe, because they finally won a challenge and got all of yellow’s previously won comfort items and gear. Cricketer Lee is obviously not used to losing so he’s stoked things are looking up.
Over at yellow, new tribe member Spidey Sam knows he’s no longer the top of the totem pole.
At blue, Flick knows she had a lucky escape. I’m really interested to hear Magic Matt’s take on all this. Nick’s strategy is to be super helpful around camp and he chops up a coconut with ease. We finally get to hear Tegan speak and straight away Brooke gets to work on drawing her into the pretty girl alliance. Tegan doesn’t seem to have much strategy and because she was weirded out by the truth or honesty test (and is a model/personal trainer) I’m thinking she’s a recruit rather than a student of the game. It’s actually in Tegan’s interest to distance herself from Nick, to make him a target should the team go to tribal again, but she doesn’t seem to be doing so consciously.

What the hell is it with Survivor and yoga? Is it compulsory to whip out Downward Dog at the auditions? Pigtails Kristy and Lawyer Phoebe are bending it on the beach and Kristy seems to have recovered from her paranoid “they moved my bag” freakout.


They have a chat about how expendable Model Rohan but Phoebe’s real bond is with El the army chick.
Suddenly Nick is sporting a brown fedora. Where did that come from? He gets to work ingratiating himself with his new tribe and seems to make headway with Magic Matt, who reveals he’s pissed off with the pretty girl alliance of Flick and Brooke.


At yellow, Conner is liking the yellow vibe (and we learn the chicken’s name is Apricot – clever) but he knows he’s in danger because he’s no super human and he thinks the tribe would rather keep Sam. With such big numbers I’d be ditching Sam and keeping Conner, who can more easily be won over to their side.
We finally get some Dreads Barry back story (about his time playing with the Wallabies), so he could be going tonight as he’s treating Survivor like a school camping and ignoring the Outwit and Outplay aspects of the game. And that’s what happen when you recruit people, even if it’s great to see cultural diversity in the cast.

It’s challenge time …
JLap does the “come on in” and red’s minds are blown to realise no-one went home and there was a tribal swap. The challenge contains a component that is a Survivor classic: binding sticks together to create a long pole that can then hook a key.
Conner said he sucked at challenges but, boy, the little fella had some speed on him racing out to the frame in the water.
Blue and yellow get their poles built quickly but they are quite bendy and blue drops their key on the sand and have to drag it. Red has made El and Kat the pole builders – setting Kat up to be in the firing line again? Blue are first to the firemaking station and Nick gets a spark straight away. They win immunity.
Yellow is having trouble getting their fire to build up enough (was Nick their fire starter?) but red still doesn’t have their key off. On the sidelines Lee, Phoebe and Rohan are slowly dying watching the girls try to hook it. Finally they get it but Lee and Rohan must be the best fire builders, otherwise they would have been on the pole building. Lee gets it started quickly and they are doing a good job building it up, sheltering the flame nicely. Well, I’m actually glad, for Kat’s sake, that she’s not in the firing line yet again, as she surely would have been. I just hope that when she is voted out she burns that monstrous leopard print cardy thing in the fire along with her buff.
So, the yellow tribe is going to tribal and Conner and Sam are going to be really worried – there’s no way JLap will be throwing in another twist tonight.

Interestingly they seem to be targeting Conner, without any talk of splitting the vote in case he or Sam has a secret idol. How do they know Kylie had the only one? Conner pitches to the majority alliance that he is desperate to stay and will be a loyal number in future. And it has an impact: Coma Girl Kate is swayed by Conner’s emotion. She throws Barry’s name out as a possibility and it seems some of the others are irritated by Barry’s refusal to “play” the game. And then there’s a curveball: Andrew (in a trilbly, because felt hats are totally suitable for the climate in Samoa) tells the camera he wants Craig out, because he’s a threat. He approaches Naughty Nanna Sue, seeking support. Finally! People who want to make moves and not just hold hands and sing Kumbaya.


At tribal council …
JLap awkwardly questions Sam and Conner about how much it sucks to be on a new tribe and then tries to get some dirt on last week’s Nick blindside. Then he reminds Craig and Baz how bad they were at building a fire in the challenge. JLap has been doing quite well until this episode as Survivor host, but his line of questioning tonight is stilted and they are draaaaggging it out. Not good editing.
I hope it’s Barry.
The votes are read and it IS Barry! Hooray. The question will be whether anyone clued Sam and Conner in to the vote (judging by the vote footage at the end, they did).

Tomorrow night
Kate has a horrible-looking lump under her arm that looks ready too explode, reminiscent of the last season of US Survivor when everyone was sporting pus-filled boils, which resulted in ice-cream maker Neale being ousted on medical grounds. I hope Kate stays – she seems a good egg. And that JLap puts his medical background to good use. Lance it, JLap – that would be grosser than any bug-eating challenge.

What did we think?
Well, it wasn’t as twisty as the last episode and tribal council was boring and awkward, but it’s always good when tribes don’t take the easy option and vote out the newest tribe members, especially when they are people who really want to play. I’m hoping Magic Matt and Nick build up a decent alliance over at blue and are able to pull Tegan away from the pretty girl alliance.



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Australian Survivor – Mon, Aug 29 – It’s all about chests

How long will it be before a tribe shake-up? Hard to know with such a huge cast. Chat here for Australian Survivor.

I just added some thoughts about last night’s (Sunday’s) episode to the previous Survivor post http://talkingtv.net/2016/08/australian-survivor-episode-3/

Monday Survivor
1. Doesn’t Phoebe know people who talk about how well they are positioned in the game always get their comeuppance?
2. When the yellow team credits rolled there was a blonde woman with a double barelled name who I swear must have just been helicoptered in to Samoa.
3. Nick is in trouble unless there is a tribe shakeup soon.
4. How frustrating was it when Kylie and Pete were wandering past the mud wall that so obviously is where the idol is hidden. What are they expecting: a brick wall? At least Pete has the excuse he’s unwell.
4a. Will Kate’s decision to be so frank with her tribe about her dreadful accident bite her down the track? She could be seen as a big threat to win due to her overcoming such adversity.
5. OMG – JLap is wearing a cap at the challenge, but it’s not a Probst-style two toner.
6. It’s another similar challenge of running, climbing, hauling and puzzling. I look forward to them whittling down the numbers so we can get to the more interesting balance and endurance challenges.
7. Even JLap calls Pete “Fiegsy”. Awesome.
8. JLap notes yellow are “half swimming, half running – like dolphins.” Hmm, running dolphins, JLap?
9. Lee was showing some Andrew Savage-like qualities with his super strength in the challenge.
10. It was a challenge of chests, both made of wood and muscle.
11. As long as every challenge ends in a puzzle, blue needs to keep magician Matt and yellow Nick.
12. Glad they changed the rules so the puzzlers can tap out. But it still doesn’t help red. Kate must be relieved they can’t point the finger at her
13. I like yellow asking JLap to make a deal so they can get flint, and thus fire (their flint broke). He must have been clued up before as, unlike Probst, he doesn’t get narky about it, but just says it’s a deal if they return all their comfort items and fishing gear. I wish he’d thrown in “and you’ll also be going to tribal council”, just to mix things up.
14. We haven’t seen much of formerly crazy Pigtails Kristy.
15. Lee comes across as not a big fan of the show. He’s not into strategy at all.
16. The girls need to blindside Rohan now while he would be reluctant to play the idol so early. Losing a physical player isn’t such a consideration with a tribe shakeup no doubt just around the corner; the loyalty of an alliance is more important. Being the underdog tribe going into a merge is actually an advantage, as you can become the swing vote for the stronger tribes.
17. But before we get to tribal, it’s over to blue beach, presumably for Pete to request a medevac. And here comes JLap on a speedboat. Please, please put your doctorin’ past to good use, JLap. Fiegsy says he’s barely eaten for 12 days, after picking up a bug before filming began. He’s quitting – and no physical from JLap.
18. “He’s a ripper bloke,” says Magician Matt – words you’d never here in US Survivor. So Pete is gone and we still don’t know why he was rocking a red suit.
19. The Aussies need to learn to be more circumspect at tribal. They should have studied Boston Rob tribal footage.
20. So no-one’s going home tonight from red because of Fiegsy quitting. I can’t recall US Survivor every waiting til another team got to the ready to vote stage before telling them they had a reprieve.
21. Looks like things are pretty awkward at red next week with Kat justifiably angry she was on the chopping block. They’d better hope they don’t merge before they can lose again and ditch her, or she’ll be throwing bombs at them.



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Australian Survivor episode 3

How’s everyone enjoying Australian Survivor and JLap’s sinewy forearms thus far?
From now we get three episodes a week – Sunday, Monday, Tuesday – that’s three tribal councils in three days! That’s a killer pace.
There’s a peek at tomorrow night’s ep on TenPlay
How many lingering shots of Lee’s abs will we get during the challenge? And how many confessionals from the I’m-So-Not-A-Drama-Teacher guys explaining how he’s fooling people with his acting.
Survivor Know-It-Alls Rob Cesternino (Survivor Amazon and All Stars – and the king of US reality TV podcasting) and Stephen Fishbach (Tocantins and Second Chances) are doing an Australian Survivor podcast and it’s fascinating to hear what these students of the game think. If you don’t have a podcasting program on your phone or iPad you can just listen to it straight off Rob’s website here.
If you are a fan of US Survivor you should be listening to their usual podcast – they have heaps of special former Survivors as guests, who provide insight into strategy and behind-the-scenes goings on.

I just watched Sunday’s episode so some quick thoughts.
1. Rohan dropped the clue!! What the hell? Smart of drama teacher dude to go searching for evidence but sadly he comes across so shady to others it’s not going to help him. It’s a pity drama teacher has been stuck on the Beauty Tribe.
2. Who the heck is Tegan? Poor Nick getting stuck with her for the honesty or deceit test. Has she never seen the show?
3. That honesty or deceit test always causes trouble no matter what they choose. Traditionally people choose deceit, but those who are honest always have the finger pointed at them anyway.
4. Hidden immunity idols are often a whole lot of trouble anyway. I’d choose deceit and then show everyone the real clue. And they’d probably still think I was lying about something!
5. Why did the tribe who voted out Bianca last week let Sickly Pete and Firey Kylie go off on their own – the only two people who have reason to be angry about the outcome of tribal.
6. JLap needs a challenge catchphrase that’s not “come on in, guys”.
7. A few people sustained injuries from toppling blocks in the last season of US Survivor (Beauty, Brains, Brawn II). Interesting no-one tried the strategy of stacking the last three blocks together and THEN putting them atop the tower first up, although at least blue twigged to it at the end, seco
8. Boy, red sucked at the boat part of that challenge.
9. Good job, yellow Nick. Who’d have thought the tribe that built a shelter that immediately collapsed under their weight would do so well in challenges.
10. G’day Chester the chicken. Sadly, you’ll never be as famous as Mark the Chicken.
11. I hope there is a gross food challenge in the future involving sea cucumber because blues will be hurling.
12. What is in Evan’s hair?
13. Did you see the panic stricken look on Kat’s face when Cricketer Lee told her she could do the puzzle section of the challenge.
14. At least Barry with the Dreads got to speak.
15. Do they deliberately ask Lee to oil up before shooting his confessionals? I presume those abs are glistening with sunscreen.
16. I’m glad for Evan’s sake that Lee actually voted for Kat.



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Australian Survivor recap episode 2 – Mon, Aug 22

Post the first tribal council the reds chat about how Des knew he had it coming. In the pitch black pigtails Kristie starts complaining her bag and shirt are missing and she reckons someone’s moved them because she’s an outsider. Uh oh – if you’re paranoid don’t let it show, Kristie. Although I wouldn’t put it past Des to do a Russell and bury belongings in the sand.
Over at blue everyone’s chilled because they have fire, water and shelter and it’s not raining – plus they won the first two challenges. Secret Squirrel Bianca is waiting for the cracks to appear and has noticed the two younger girls are tight and get on with Spidey Sam. She forges an alliance with firefighter Kylie and hopes to draw in old burny hand Conner.


Finally Kristie’s bag turns up and I wish we’d seen from the edit whether it had in fact been there the whole time. Kristie starts to lose it in a lonely spot in the jungle and good on army lady El for trying to calm her down. Is she losing the plot or did her drama teacher “friend” take it to make his position more secure/
Over at yellow Barry with the dreads finally makes the edit, joking about popping out for a croissant. Poor yellow still don’t have fire, so haven’t drunk water. Nick is licking palm fronds for moisture. He sets to with the flint and finally they get some coconut husk on fire, but they don’t even have a supply of tinder nearby to keep it going. The flame splutters out and Nick is devo.


Drama dude Evan *who is telling people he’s an art teacher) is trying to buddy up to ex-cricketer Lee because he thinks he can outwit him, but Lee of the clingy trunks and over-developed torso has twigged to Evan being a wildcard and is keeping him close to keep tabs on him.

Yellow try again to make fire and, finally, it works. Everyone seems to be chowing down at all the tribes – are they not rationing or were the producers generous for the first season?
Finally, 62-year-old Peter the air traffic controller and ex-military guy gets some air time. He did really well with the physical aspect of the challenge in last night’s episode but is now struggling – and tells Bianca so. He reckons he should leave. Nooo, Peter – we don’t even know you! Meanwhile, Flick and fellow young girl decide fit firey Kylie is totes annoying and should go.

Challenge time
JLap and his sinewy arms are back and he gets red to confess they still don’t have fire, when even the dorks at yellow managed it. The challenge involves, um, carrying, smashing, wriggling, knocking stuff over, yadda yadda. It’s an immunity AND a reward challenge, with the winner getting fishing gear. Runner-up gets a fishing line and hooks. Sue and Peter, the two oldest people yet, sit out the challenge. Can we get an update on Conner’s hand? As a qualified doctor, can JLap check if it’s a serious burn?
Super blues are smashing it in the challenge, yet again, and that poor brunette is going to have so many bruises. And again loser yellow manage to overtake the reds, who are again quibbling about how to do things.


Poor reds then have to do the course again with beefcake Lee as the person being carried. Why didn’t they choose someone lighter? Counting on him to smash all the blocks at the end – I guess he was a bowler when he played Big Bash.
Yellow wins thanks to the throwing of Kate, the women who survived a serious car accident years ago. For blue, weedy student Conner is throwing furiously but he can’t outgun Lee’s mighty guns.


Blue is heading to tribal council. Will Peter put his hand up to go home? Conner is worried he’s on the chopping block due to his challenge performance. Spidey Sam and Firey Kylie pow wow and decide Peter needs to go home because he’s not eating or drinking, even though he’s well liked.
But Bianca is worried that will put her on the wrong side of the numbers, so she tells Conner Flick should go. And he promptly tells Flick. Who then wants to get rid of Bianca.
As magician Matt notes, everyone is going nuts with the scrambling.

Tribal council


Come on – they can’t send Pete home before we discover why he’s wearing crimson pants. JLap is in his tribal uniform of checked shirt and chinos. He tries to find a crack in tribe unity but Flick and Kylie don’t bite. So he probes Pete about his illness, which is explained as not wanting to eat. Conner and Brunette Brooke say they could be in danger for their challenge performance, but they’re not. Hopefully Conner sticks around – he’s a sweetie.
Flick and Brooke tell JLap they’d never considered them being close could be perceived as a threat … der, girls! Have you not watched the show? You need a Malcolm and Denise secret alliance not a sorority sisters alliance.
JLap reads the votes and there’s one for Kylie, two for Pete and the rest Bianca.
Farewell, Secret Squirrel – you would have fared better on another tribe.

Next time
Well, we know Pete is still around because we see footage of him. It looks like there is one of those advantage twists where only a few tribe members are given secret info and have to decide whether or not to reveal it (as seen in the Blue Collar, White Collar etc season). These rarely end well.

Fun fact
I googled who on Survivor has started a fire using glasses, and came across this from an interview with fan fave Yau Man: “You don’t just hold your glasses over dry fiber – it would never work since your glasses are concave lenses and cannot focus the sun. the trick is to put a drop of water on the glass – it acts as a very powerful magnifying glass”
There you go – some sciencey learning.



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Australian Survivor starts tonight

Hooray – the wait is over. Australian Survivor starts on Channel 10 at 7.30pm, with episode 2 the following night.
It will be interesting to see how the twice-a-week format plays out. Host Jonathon LaPaglia has said they filmed a tribal council every two days, as opposed to the US original’s every three days, and the contestants are there for 55 days in total, rather than the usual 39.


The promos are looking pretty slick so, thankfully, it looks much better than the pathetic attempt at an Aussie version of the classic reality show a decade ago.
I showed my four-year-old the cast photos and asked him to pick a winner and he chose Peter “because he got a big smile”. Usually older guys don’t fare well unless they are firefighter Tom types, but who knows …
contestant1
contestant2
Make sure you vote in the new poll.

HERE WE GO
I’ve already seen the first six minutes but Mr Juz has not. He’s not a fan, although he watched some of Australia, Amazon and Pirate Islands.
Jonathan LaPaglia walks to camera and Mr Juz is mesmerised by his sinewy arms. “God, he’s ripped. Did they deliberately pick someone who looks like Wolverine?” How many push ups did he do by the rockpools to get the veins to pop like that?
I like that he is kinda rugged looking, like Jeff Probst, but not a clone.
We’ll be giving first impressions as we watch the show (but no white rose):
First talking head is Conner (23, law student ACT): Mr Juz says – Likeable, will go far. Me: Yep, has that nerdy Rob C quality and young guys aren’t usually an early boot.
Geez, Samoa looks stunning – tou
El (33, Army corporal, Qld): Mr Juz: army hero, first to crumble. Me: She may be tempted to be a tribal leader, which always results in an exit by about episode five.
Lee (40, ex pro cricketer) Mr Juz: Everyone will him.
Des (59, courier driver, Qld): Mr Juz: He’ll be the mixed metaphor guy, coming up with the pearlers. Me: Looks a Keith Nail type for the one liners but without Keith’s wiry nimbleness. Fitness could be an issue in some of the early team challenges if there is a lot of running and swimming, which is customary. Older folks always go first – unless they are the only ones who can build fire.
Phoebe (27, criminal lawyer, NSW): Mr Juz: Bland. Me: People who talk about how great they are at interrogating others are headed for a fall.
Evan (30, high school drama teacher, Vic): Mr Juz: Delusional. Me: Cocky, but at least he seems to have an understanding of the game.
Flick (23, bartender and personal assistant): Mr Juz: She’s going to fail miserably in her strategy. Me: Meh.
Sam (28, charity co-founder and CEO): Mr Juz: Genuine nice guy. My pick for final two. Me: Could be cocky, but perhaps the horrible spider web should tatt is prejudicing me.
Andrew (29, marketing executive, Qld): Mr Juz: I’m going to enjoy watching that guy – that guy is me (re: his hatred of the outdoors). Me: I do feel sorry that anyone who’s a business person has to wear totally unsuitable clothing, as per Survivor casting directive. Cirie hated the outdoors and she did very well in Survivor. I’m not convinced about Andrew – will he rub people the wrong way or he is playing a villain?
Kylie (38, firefighter, Vic): Mr Juz: I like her. Me: She’s very likeable. Will go far but could get taken out near the end because she’s an obvious threat.

The contestants meet JLap and his arms a still a-poppin’. He gets a few contestants to chat and, first mistake, Des reveals his real age. Should have shaved off a few years. Conner seems personable and is obviously a fan – hope he doesn’t get lost in strategy.
They’re going with the three-tribe format: red, blue and yellow (who can remember the Samoan names?)
JLap points to a lit cauldron floating on a raft out in the ocean behind him. Whoever swims to it first and lights a torch gets fire for the tribe. But there’s another raft with general camp stuff, which they also need, so they’ll need to balance both needs. A girl called Tegan grabs a chicken, which usually turn out to be more trouble than they are worth.
Red tribe isn’t very good at getting into their canoe. They partially flood it and plantains float everywhere. Blue tribe is first to untie, followed by yellow. Both send out two swimmers. Red team wisely realises they suck and instead loads up on supplies. Smart – history has shown most water provided on Survivor isn’t as impure as the producers make out and is safe to drink without boiling. Of course, fire is nice for warmth but dehydration is a bigger worry than being cold.
Sam the spiderweb man is first to light the torch and wins fire for the blues, which include Conner and Kylie the firefighter.

We get the iconic Survivor music and intro and the tribes are at their own beaches, getting to know each other rather than building a shelter straight away. At red old fella Des reveals he used to be in the army so is used to sleeping rough. Rohan sparks laughter when he says he’s a model (but reveals to camera he has several degrees). Brand manager Kat in the floppy hat assumes the boss role (danger, danger!) and the others start chopping down branches. Des says to camera he wants to save his strength: “I’m going to try and do as little physical work as possible.” Kat comes over to tell him to help and he barks back: “I’m just getting the fruit out of the sun so it don’t go crap.” I was really hoping we’d see him dash into the jungle to look for hidden immunity idols, but no-one has mentioned them … yet. “I’m goimg to sit in the background like Kung Fu Panda and just sneak up on them at the end. Always wanted to play the villain,” Des says. But he’s a bit tetchy to the others, so will be an easy target if they go to tribal first.

Over at yellow beach they all look a bit clueless.
Craig (recruitment officer) says he’s gay but happy to take on the alpha males.
High school teacher Nick looks soo much like Rob C and he knows how dangerous it is to be a leader. “However, when there’s seven dodos just roaming around, you have to do something to try and coral them.” He tells the camera he’s been going to the gym, practising puzzles and seeing a hypnotist to overcome his fear of rodents (surely this piece of info will come in handy later). he realises he’s made a mistake by appearing too knowledgable and diverts everyone with an ocean swim. Businessman Andrew notes Nick has put himself in a dangerous spot from the get go.

You know leaders don't last, Nick!
You know leaders don’t last, Nick!

At blue everyone is standing round with their Olympic torch, chatting, rather than scrambling for kindling to keep their hard-won flame alight. Conner is getting A LOT of camera time.
Bianca (36, Vic) tells the tribe she works in a boring insurance job, but to camera she confesses: “I currently work as a private investigator.” Ooh – she’s a bit of a Tony I work in construction but really I’m a cop.

Bianca could go far (as long as she applies loads of sunscreen)
Bianca could go far (as long as she applies loads of sunscreen)

Oh no, nice boy Conner has already hurt himself by grabbing a hot stick. Keep it in the saltwater, Conner! Listen to firefighter Kylie. At red they have neither shelter nor fire and, to camera, army corporal El says it won’t work with wet wood. Des gives his tribemates the shits by implying he knows how to start a fire but can’t be bothered wasting his energy.
Over at blue they don’t have any building skills (as Matt says: “I’m a magician”) but they do have some go getters like Sam, Kylie and Flick. This is a strong team – poor bugger Conner, out in the water.
He and Flick finally go for a walk and they start talking alliances – good one. I was worried the Aussies wouldn’t jump in to strategy straight away. Flicks tells she may need to cut him further on as he’s strategic (which shows there’s more to her than meets the eye).
They are setting yellow up to be the loser team that gets Pagonged. Sue, 59, is a personal trainer and retired customs officer – plus she was in the army reserve: “I’m not the average nanna.” But after a while they do in fact get their act together and build a shelter. They all lie on it and – crack – it breaks in the middle. They have a laugh but they’d better hope they fix it before the rain comes.

Night falls and over at red the girls are spooning, trying to get warm. Since some are just in hot pants I’m not surprised. Des just grabs a giant banana leaf and wanders off to the side to use it as a mattress. The others follow suit but it’s a full moon and the tide comes in and threatens to wash them away. No-one gets any sleep.

The next day reds are scrambling to move their stuff out of the way of the oncoming waves. Drama teacher Evan goes for a swim in the storm surge, which is foolish. Much of the camp is under water, so they are going to have to rebuild further inland.

Challenge time
Yellows confess they didn’t start a fire but reds try to bluff for a bit, until model Rohan cracks and tells the truth.
JLap explains the challenge, which is a racing over obstacles, building bridges, pulling ropes type one, with a traditional puzzle-solving component to finish.
The obstacles are physically very challenging – there would have been a lot of cuts and bruises afterwards. Sam proves a linchpin for his blue team, hauling everyone over as needed. They are ahead at the bridge building section.
Waiting at the puzzle station, Des is calling out instructions to the red bridge builders but just pisses them off. Yellow team, who were last, pick up the pace and tears through the bridge building – it looks like Nick (aka Rob C clone) had a lot to do with it, but it could be the edit. Red are last to the puzzle.

For yellow, the puzzlers are 59-year-old Sue and businessman Andrew.
Red’s puzzlers are “leader” Kat and taciturn Des, but he’s not really listening to her.
Blue’s puzzlers are magician Matt – who’s fast – and bartender Flick. They win and yellow is second. Red wasn’t in the race, mainly thanks to Des, but really they had no choice but to put him there – he would not have made it over those steep obstacles.
Yellow team gets a flint for coming second.

Red is going to tribal. It has to be Kat or Des – and he knows it. Quick – get back to camp and light a fire, Des, if you want to save your skin.

Muscle men Rohan and Lee go for a swim, leaving the girls to chat on the beach. Women’s alliance! They reckon the boys don’t have a clue how close they are. Kat knows Des will be gunning for her. But the girls don’t seem to have pulled in a guy to help their numbers, which is a mistake. Des knows he’s in trouble and, finally, he starts giving some direction about building a decent shelter. He teaches weaving palm fronds for a shelter roof and even does a bit of schmoozing with the girls.
Des goes to get water with Rohan and alerts him to the girls’ alliance. Rohan reckons Des might be handy to keep around, now he’s showing some survival skills – after they got flooded.
Drama teacher Evan says he, Des and Pigtails Kristie are the oddball outsiders. Personally, I’d keep Des for at least one more tribal, until the shelter was schmick, then cut him.

It’s tribal council
JLap is now attired in a checked shirt and chinos. I miss his T-shirt and shorts – wardrobe changes are not very Probstian. They start with red detailing how rubbish they were at building camp, and Rohan notes Des kept his skills to himself. Des does little to take the target off his back with his explanation of the magical skills. Kat goes hard in her defence of her puzzling skills and her pointing the figure (and likely rightly so) at Des. Des tells JLap he’s voting Kat because he doesn’t like her.
It’s time to vote and Kat is up first to write down Des’s name (if Kat goes tonight she should leave her clothes behind for the others – at least she’s got a flowy cardy and three-quarter pants). Des votes for Kat: “Kat, I’m voting for you. Don’t like being told what to do. Only my wife does that.”
JLap reads the votes and … it’s Des. His fire is extinguished and, to his credit, he gives his teammates the thumbs up and says “good luck, guys”. And then they were seven – at least they get flint.

Rohan is handsome and intense in the firelight, while Des is, well, Des.
Rohan is handsome and intense in the firelight, while Des is, well, Des.

Next time
There seems to be some injuries and paranoia going on. But we only get a five-second preview so can’t analyse much.

Bye Des
“I think my wife’s going to say my wife made the right decision … because I’m very hard to live with.” We see everyone voted for Des.

So, what did we think?
Interesting there was no talk of hidden immunity idols. Surely there will be some? Some good characters there but the tribes are so darn big it’s going to take a while to keep track of all the personalities. As usual, sadly, the younger women tend to blend as one in the non-winning tribes because they don’t get any airtime. I want to see more of secretive Bianca.



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Australian Survivor – contestant Kate’s story

While we wait to learn the airdate for Australian Survivor, here’s some interesting back story on one of the contestants who reckons she’ll do well after surviving an horrific accident years ago (warning – there’s a quite gory photo at the top article so don’t click here if you are squeamish).

Here’s the latest promo screening on Ten at the moment.

You can read a few sentences about each contestant on tenplay’s official Survivor site

And here’s a bit about Barry Lea, the dude with the dreads providing some welcome relief in the casting sea of white faces. He’s now a radio host in Cairns but was once a Wallaby. Given he has media experience, I really hope he’s actually a fan of the show and wasn’t headhunted.



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Promo for Survivor Australia

Did anyone see the promo for Australian Survivor that played during MasterChef?
They’ve bought the rights to Destiny’s Child’s song Survivor, which would cost them a pretty penny. Why not just use the iconic theme music? We see host Jonathon LaPaglia standing on a beach in Samoa, dressed in a blue T-shirt, sneakers and khaki shorts – so not exactly a Jeff clone, then. No baseball cap in sight.
They offer us a sneak peek of the contestants but all we see is a blur of action and these voiceovers: “I prosecute criminal cartels.” “I might be a teacher but I’m a student of this game.” “I’m an intelligence analyst. Covert surveillance. Drug ops.” [So, presumably she’s not going back to that career once Survivor airs]. “Lie, cheat steal.” “I would stick to my word.” “Honesty can get you the full way if you believe in yourself” [Has she never seen Survivor?] “My leadership is where I’m inspiring people and I’m pulling the strings.” “Mateship’s everything. Mateship is very, very important.” It goes for 55 days (Why not the usual 39?)
And there are 24 contestants. No air date as yet.

Here it is:

And the contestants (with more than half aged 27-34):



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Survivor 33 air date announced

Season 33 of Survivor (tagged Millennials V Gen X) premieres in the US Wednesday, September 21 at 8pm. It goes for 90 minutes. Hopefully Nine will continue to fast track it so we get it here on Thursday night.
More info at Inside Survivor
There’s also a good story on the site About Australian Survivor, which is now being filmed in Samoa. No air date as yet.



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Survivor Kaoh Rong – the end is nigh

I can’t believe the Survivor finale is here already. It seems like just like week Jeremy was winning Second Chances and I was worried Kaoh Rong would be a letdown, following hot on the heels of such a fun season.
So, due to the unexpected evacuation of Joe last week, due to his inability to – ahem – evacuate – we’re down to Aubry, Cydney, Tai and Michele. I really want Aubry to win but Cydney and Michelle know she’s such a threat, so surely they’ll make a move. And if Tai makes the finale, will he get many jury votes? And is it a three or a two?

Michelle is getting a tonne of beach confessionals lately. Winner edit?
Michele – sorry it look me so long to realise you spell your name with one L.

Aubry, if you don't win you are a dead cert for the next Second Chance.
Aubry, if you don’t win you are a dead cert for the next Second Chance.

Tai, we'll be seeing you again, too.
Tai, we’ll be seeing you again, too.

Why couldn't we see hilarious Cyd at the start of this season?
Cydney, you could take out the whole shebang.
I want Aubry to win but I think Cydney could take home the $1 million. Who do you want to win – and who do you think will actually win? And no votes for Mark the Chicken – he’s in the running to replace Jeff as host is Probst ever steps down.
By the way, it’s rumoured the next two seasons of Survivor will soon be filmed in Fiji, in the Mamanuca Islands. I’ve been there twice (and was meant to be there this month, but the cyclone changed our plans) and it’s a gorgeous part of the world. Check out http://insidesurvivor.com/survivor-season-33-and-34-rumors-11168 for more info – no real spoilers there.
When’s it on?
The two-hours finale screens on Go! at 10am Thursday (yes, AM – good on you, Go! for rushing it) and is followed by the one-hour reunion show at noon. The finale is repeated at 8.30pm with the reunion at 10.30pm.

RECAP

Here's Jeffy
Here’s Jeffy

Jeff wanders out through CBS’s fake Cambodian village but you know he’s not in the jungle because he’s not wearing one of his wilderness shirts with a tribal-looking necklace. I love that he mentioned Mark the Chicken in his opening monologue! If only he’d followed it up with: “Mark the Chicken, this is your life!”
He recaps the season so far … medevacs … toughest … idols … enemies … blindsides … alliances … yadda yadda.
Then, we’re back to Cambodia and it’s Day 36. It’s not even dawn and Mark is already pissing everyone off by crowing while they’re trying to sleep.
Tai’s worried people will vote him off in retaliation, so he takes Mark down the beach.
Lucky you weren't so annoying earlier in the season Mark, when no-one knew your name.
Lucky you weren’t so annoying earlier in the season Mark, when no-one knew your name.
Surely Tai would be smarter to keep Mark at camp as cranky, tired people (I’m thinking Cydney) do not perform as well at challenges. He’s confident in his alliance with Aubry but thinks it’s them versus Cydney and Michele. Aubry is worried about Mich’s social abilities as she has no jury enemies.
Cydney is happy Joe was medevaced because everyone wants to be her buddy now.
Come on in, guys …
It’s reward challenge time and it’s one of those long, multi-step challenges where speed, balance and puzzle abilities are key.
Jeff’s in his spiffy blue cap. The winner gets, surprise, surprise, food, including steak which, based on poor Joe’s satay beef experience, they’d best just nibble.
Jeff is openly barracking for Tai and Cyd in the challenge and poor Mich is getting all the negative comments. Aubry is killing it in the balance component of the challenge, as sleep and food deprivation take their toll. Surely Aubry will smash the puzzle task? But no, the first combination she picks fails. The camera helpfully zooms in on the bit she’s stuffed up. She’s going to kick herself when she watches it back but – yay – she gets there in the end and even steals a hug from Jeff.
Aubry's dream of touching the great Survivor God Probst becomes a reality.
Aubry’s dream of touching the great Survivor God Probst becomes a reality.
And he tops it off with a back slap and “good job”. Man, he lurrrves Aubs. She can take another person on the reward with her if she wants, and she picks Cyd, which was the only smart choice for her. She needs to build their bond and she knows Cyd gets hangry.
Again, they get to eat a stone’s throw from camp (just as they did with the Chinese food reward) – hard on the other contestants.
At the camp, Mich tries to convince Tai they need to team up as they are both on the bottom. “I think Aubry’s the bigger target,” she says. Tai says he likes it but he doesn’t look her in the eye. Still, he wants the million.

Day 37 and it’s immunity challenge time already
It’s one of those massive running up and down stairs type ones with a puzzle at the end that they’ve favoured lately at the pointy end of the competition.
The winner is guaranteed a spot in the final three.
Aubry is in the lead pretty much the whole challenge but no-one is doing dreadfully as is usual in these challenges. I’d like to know how hot it was that day. I wish they’d let them drink water while they do the puzzle.
Tai does really well in the puzzle section and Mich is not far behind.

She won the memory challenge previously, so will this be No. 2 for Mich?
She won the memory challenge previously, so will this be No. 2 for Mich?
Yep – Mich wins and then does a karate yelp in celebration and kicks her puzzle over. kick
“Wow – nobody saw that coming,” Jeff tells her in his tactful manner.

Back at camp, Mich is feeling powerful – as she should. Aub and Tai go off to “get water”, which cutely involves holding hands as they strategise.

Awww. But what will Mark the Chicken think? Or Scot? Or Caleb?
Awww. But what will Mark the Chicken think? Or Scot? Or Caleb?
Aub needs Tai to stick with her so they can force a tie and go to the fire-making challenge – which we at home would love to see. But will Tai flip to Mich instead?
“Tai and I have been like a zipper that doesn’t zip the whole game … he switches on a dime,” Aub tells confessional. She reckons she’s not very good at making fire, though.
Cyd is playing it cool, tell Mich she’ll vote for whoever she wants. Mich wants to keep Aubry but she thinks she’ll be too good at talking to the jury.
Cyd feels bad as they have been “ride or die homies” (I love Cyd’s confessionals) for ages, but “my loyalty is to my mother. I’m trying to change her life”. This is the first we’ve heard about her mum, I believe.
Do it anyway, Cyd.
Do it anyway, Cyd.
Mich is confident Tai will vote with them to save himself.
Mich tells Tai he’s safe because Aubry is a threat. Aubry senses change in the air and knows she’s in trouble.

Tribal council
“The person who goes to the jury tonight has a lot of information about what’s happened in this game,” Aubry tells Jeff,referencing Pandora’s box, trying to make everyone scared about her poisoning the jury.
“Michelle, she looked right at you,” says Jeff, stirring the pot.
Cyd: “It’s a me game, not a we game.” Tai just wants the mill and says alliances are out the window.
They move through things quickly and I think my girl Aubry is going home.
Aubry, Cyd, Aubry, Cyd. It’s a tie! The jury is surprised – and delighted.

Scot is trying really hard to work out what happens next.
Scot is trying really hard to work out what happens next.

Jeff asks if they should revote and Mich gives Tai the stare but he doesn’t crack. So, a fire-making challenge it is. Awesome! I know we won’t end up with a Cook Islands-like disaster where neither woman could make a fire. And that was even after they gave them matches. Yes, really (great pic recap of that excruciating 90-minute failure here http://funny115.com/v2/27.htm)
Cyd gets some good sparks early but they both struggle to keep the flame going. They need to build it up enough to burn through the string.
Great TV.
Great TV.

Aubry gets a great blaze going but unluckily for her the wind is blowing sideways and it doesn’t quite reach the rope. Nooo – she’s back to the ashes. aubblaze
aubblaze
Aubry is building up her fire again and most people on the jury seem to be willing her to succeed.
Good to see you looking better, Joe.
Good to see you looking better, Joe.

Yes!! Aubry wins! It’s possible I’m more excited by this than if she takes out the whole shebang.
Fire BFFs.
Fire BFFs.

Cyd’s crying. Aub’s crying. Tai’s crying. The producers are crying with happiness that they got great footage.
Poor Cyd tells Jeff she wanted the prize to pay her mum’s mortgage and get her health insurance. Yep, that’s Murica for you – crap health care for the poor. Well, that put a bit of a downer on things.
Now we cut back to the studio and Jeff is cuddling Cyd’s crying mum, who is as ripped as her “baby” – and dad is massive!
The family who bodybuilds together ...
The family who bodybuilds together …

Back at camp Mich says she knew Cyd wound’t win as she’d never made fire with flint, but she’s surprised Tai stuck with Aubry.
“I think you’ve literally just handed Aubry a million dollars,” Mich tells Tai.
Still they are happy to be the final three and to face the jury. Or are they? Tai has picked up on what there’s been a lot of internet speculation about: That it could be a final two this season. He is obviously a huge fan of the show as he even knows Jeff’s usual wording. This is the kind of Survivor nerdiness I’d expect from Aubry but I guess she was on a high from making fire. The girls assure him there’s no more challenge but next morning he’s proved right. This will have to be one of those standing on a pole forever type challenges.

Final immunity challenge – for real
They walk in and it looks like there is some kind of ball and puzzle challenge awaiting them. Jeff, in his black cap, tells them: “Today immunity is (pause) not up for grabs. It was a fake out!

Aubry is trying to process what Jeff just said.
Aubry is trying to process what Jeff just said.
They ARE the final three after all. I hope that challenge set didn’t go to waste – maybe they used it for Second Chances, which was filmed straight after Kaoh Rong even though it screened first.
And then Jeff says something unprecedented. They get to do the challenge after all but it’s for reward, and the winner will vote out someone tonight but it’s not one of them: it’s a jury member. Wowsers – that’s a good twist. Aubry’s reaction has to be bleeped out.
Turns out the challenge was an option in the very first challenge of the season but none of the teams picked it. It’s a tricky one, involving stacking balls and wooden stands on an unstable surface using a long prong to grab everything. Joey Amazing and Keith Nale would be great at this challenge. Mich and Aubry are pretty even but Mich takes it out. Good one, Mich. So, she’ll vote out Joe, right, as he’s a dead cert to vote for Aubry? Plus, since it’s Joe he’ll forgive her in real life that he never get to have the experience of casting a Survivor vote.

Back at camp Mich trots out the “it could be a million dollar decision”. She tells Tai she’s thinking Joe but Tai says she should also consider Neal – he wants Neal gone because he knows he wont get Neal’s vote.
Mich then talks through her strategy with Aub, who tries to steer her in the direction of Scot and Jason because they can stir the pot at final tribal and possibly sway others. The problem with this line of thinking is that every Survivor fan knows most jury members have already made up their minds befor final tribal.
The jury comes in and Nick notices straight away that no-one is wearing an immunity necklace. Mich gets to read out the jury vote out rules and the jury is suitable shocked.

That's Debbie that Julia is whispering to behind Sooky Lah Lah's head.
That’s Debbie that Julia is whispering to behind Sooky Lah Lah’s head.
Then Jeff gets them to talk to the alternate strategy of voting out someone who’ll be throwing bombs at the tribal.
jasonme scotanswer
Mich says she’s picking someone who would never have voted for her and who can be persuasive to others. So, not Joe, then. Must be a Sooky.
Jeff reads the vote and … neilvte
Poor Neal. First he’s pulled from the game with a weird knee infection and now he doesn’t even get to make the jury for final tribal. I bet he’s been working on his jury speech for ages back at Ponderosa. He takes it in good spirits: “It’s an honour to finally have my name written down.” And then as he saunters past Mich he tells her what sounds like part of his speech: “You came into this game thinking you were a bad-ass bitch but you are more like a cute little puppy, still suckling at the teat, and I don’t think you stand a chance.” Ouchies! Off he goes, to be sequestered.
“It sounds like you might have made the right choice,” Jeff tells Michele.
Afterwards, Neal tells confessional Mich was smart to vote him off as he would have advocated for Aub. But he thinks it won’t help Mich’s chances.

Back in the studio, Jeff says the producers first raised the jury vote twist seven years ago. And then he drops the news there will be an unexpected guest at tribal. Surely it’s Mark the Chicken?

Back at camp, Aubry is sad Neal is lost to her (again). Little does she know she’s going to win this thing. Then Survivor does something they haven’t done for ages: gives the contestants a mirror and scales. I used to love this bit.

Time for self reflection.
Time for self reflection.

Tai is worried his hardships will be all for nothing but, hey, runner up still gets $100,000, right?
Mich has to convince them she’s not a goat and Aubry thinks she has to explain her uneven play.

The jury
Yes, the surprise guest was in fact Mark. Please can someone say: “Tai, if you kill that chook right now I will give you my vote.”
With Neal voted out, Nick doesn’t have a rival for jury spokesperson. He tells Michelle she needs to display intelligence; Tai, awareness; and Aubry confidence. It’s like the Wizard of Oz.
Debbie questions Tai about his vote switching but he defends himself as having been loyal to Aubry – all while a mesmerised Mark sits in his lap.
Debbie says she liked watching Aubry’s change from neurotic nerd to geek warrior. And Aubry manages to compliment Debbie with her responses, which always goes down well.
Mich’s BFF Julia is next and starts off listing her weaknesses but then turns it around by saying how she upped her game by voting her BFF off. She thinks Tai has the opposite game, starting strongly then tapering off. Again he says it’s not a weakness that he was loyal to Aub at the end.
Joe tells Mich in more polite terms that he’s going to ignore her. He tells Tai he likes him but wonders why he should vote for him and not his fave girl (as if he’s really considering Tai). Tai lists off finding the idol, winning an advantage and voting off Scot. Then Joe gives Aubry the easy “why should I vote for you” question and she adeptly lists off many reasons, including how she had her finger on the pulse of the game, despite her lack of idols.
Jason reckons he doesn’t know who he’s voting for, which is rubbish. I thin he’ll vote Aubry for her strategic and physical play. He asks Mich a question and she’s glad to finally get one as she gets to give a “I did make moves” speech. Jason asks Tai to explain why he flipped and we again here the “I got scared” answer, with an added bit about their “savage” man talk being isolating for him. Mark gets in a flap at this point. Man, I’d love to see Jeff come over and grab him for a cuddle.
It’s Cydney’s turn and Aub does the smart “I had to vote you out because I knew that’s what you would do”. Cyd appreciates that Mich gave her the chance to make fire by tying the vote but Aubry makes it clear Mich didn’t know that they were both voting Cyd.
Scot’s turn and he starts with a lame joke to which Aubry instantly fires off the punchline. He tells Tai he had all these advantages in the game and either didn’t use them or squandered them. Aubry says Scot should vote for her because he’s a competitor and he should respect competitive play. Then Scot tells Mich he’s surprised to see her there but well done, and I can’t tell if he’s being serious or not.
The questions are over and Jeff gives them a chance for a final plea.
Aubry fires up and gets really passionate: “I played my heart out.”
Tai talks about how hard the back stabbing nature of the game is: “I believe in goodness in humanity.” He talks about a Vietnamese proverb and starts crying about friendships being torn apart. Scot nods at one point. Mich tears up as she fought her way up from the bottom, even if they think she’s a goat.

Time to vote
Julia votes for Michele. Joe votes for Aubry.
We don’t see anyone else’s vote.
Before everyone heads off to Ponderosa, Jeff tells Tai it’s time to let Mark go, after 39 days together. “It’s up to fate now,” says Tai. Vote urn in hand, Jeff strides past the chook with a nonchalant: “See you, Mark.”
I love it when Jeff shows he has a sense of humour – it doesn’t happen often. At least we know Tai would have been reunited with his boyfriend, the human Mark, a few days afterward.
Back in the studio it’s time to read the votes and we get to see how fat everyone looks compared to their Survivor starvation appearance. Jason is wearing the most hideous floral jacket. OMG – Michele beat Aubry 5-2! What the hell. I know there was a lot of talk about Michele having a winner edit, but really!
Those bloody Sookies! I can’t watch all of the reunion now but that was an anticlimax.



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Survivor Kaoh Rong – May 12

It’s getting down to the nitty gritty on Survivor Kaoh Rong. While we wait for the new episode, check out Jason’t Ponderosa video.
https://youtu.be/IH1FSwzdbfU
Recap to come tomorrow, guys – got a boy here who will not sleep.

Ok, I’m going to start at the end here, by saying you need to watch these two Ponderosa videos about Joe, because they give us much more insight into a man who did not get much air time in the game.
There’s this one, where he mentions he tried to get on season one of Survivor, and that he went on to eventually meet that season’s cranky old guy, Rudy Bosch, who encouraged him to try out for Kaoh Rong.
https://youtu.be/XWHEVT4pJss
And then here’s his Ponderosa arrival video, where we see him in relaxed mode (but thankfully not his medical problem being relieved) and chatting a bit about his life in the real world, which we never got while he was in the game.
https://youtu.be/2OUpKvZZZZ8
Why couldn’t we see more of this Joe in the actual show – this Joe I would have been barracking for as an underdog.



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