Tag: Italians

MKR – Mon, Mar 21

Surely tonight can't be the last we see of this face?
Surely tonight can’t be the last we see of this face?

It’s Zana and Plus One V Hat and Sans Hat. Who will triumph?
i cardys

Ok, let’s get down to the nitty gritty: Is all that hair of Zana’s real?

That is one massive plait (and Jordan nails it later with his Lara Croft call). How much better does she look when they cut back on the heavy eye makeup.

Rapunzel, is that your real hair?
Rapunzel, is that your real hair?

Manu gives his speech about how disappointed he is to have two strong teams suck so early.
The judges are introduced and it’s the same old Guy Grossi, Karen Martina, Liz Egan and Colin Fassnidge. Urgh – can’t we have some new blood? As usual the contestants have 90 minutes’ prep time to do mis en place for their three-course meal.

The menus

Luciano and Martino  (who are both Sans Hat tonight)

Entree: Stuffed calamari with marinara sauce and cuttlefish ink risotto
Main: Seafood lasagna in salsa rosa sauce
Dessert: Chocolate and red wine pear cake
It all sounds fabulous but they have two elements that always prove troublesome: risotto and poached pears.

Zana and Plus One (aka Gianni – given it could be his last night let’s use his real name just this once)

Entree: Montenegrin Pizette with caramelised onion and goat’s cheese
Main: White bean stew with Balkan sausage
Dessert: Pistachio and walnut baklava with honey whipped ricotta.
The entree and main sound a lot less complicated than the Italians’ and Zana is gutsy trying to make her own filo in such a tight timeframe, and under the hot camera lights.

Zana is being head chef and Plus One is an able sous chef. As Paige says: “Zana is always wearing the pats. Gianna doesn’t even own pants any more.” Zana has made her basic filo dough, then moves on to bread, while Gianna gets on to pizza dough. They’ve said their pizza is unusual in that it’s fried, which the judges may not have tasted. Sounds  lot like the pizza Poh Ling Yeow’s Jamface crew do at the markets here in Adelaide and it’s bloody delicious, with just sugo, fresh basil and cheese.

The Italians are playing it tight for time to get their risotto done, but seem confident. Everyone’s multitasking well. Poor Luciano is sweating through his light blue shirt.
Both dishes look pretty but the Italians’ certainly appears more sophisticated.

The calamari and squid ink: Everyone loves it and it’s technically challenging.
The pizza: Liz says there’s too much raw garlic. Fass agrees. Karen Martini ate a similar dish as a child; she loves it. Pete prefers the other dish. More importantly what does Lauren think? “I just don’t know if it’s sudden death material.”
So, one to the Italians.

Mains
It’s on to mains and it’s a delight to watch Luciano crank out those sheets of pasta. You know it’s going to taste fabulous.

So pretty.
So pretty.

Martino is in charge of sauces – bechamel and the salsa rosa (seafood and tomato) – so he has two whisks going.
Gianni and Zana get their baklava layered up and he whips up a gremolata to add zing to their stew. They’re happy (but what does Lauren think? Too simple). The focaccia-like bread they’ve made to go with it looks delish.
The Italians are cooking their scampi and the onlookers are worried the pan was not hot enough. Martino says to his partner: “I’m worried they are not going to look sexy, bello. You know sexy is important for me.” The lasagna is thin and insipid looking.


The judges love the pasta but the seafood is overcooked and the scampi is undercooked. Liz loves the smokiness of the stew and Fass also loves the bread. One to Zana and Plus One, so it’s a dead heat and both desserts look promising.

Dessert round
The chocolate and pear cake looks beautiful when sliced but I’m wondering if they’ll get in trouble for not coring their pears. Zana is happy with her sugar syrup, but she can only soak it for a short time, rather than the usual overnight. They are smart quenelling their ricotta cream in advance on a baking tray, ready for plating up.
Plus One is in charge of lifting out the delicate baklava triangles. “Baby, don’t ruin it,” a tense Zana says.

Baklava-related anxiety.
Baklava-related anxiety.
Remember way back when we thought she was absolutely dreadful, until Jessica and Lauren came along? Will their dessert be too sweet? They need to serve a short black with each plate.


The judges taste the baklava and Guy says it’s stunning – not at all too sweet. Liz is impressed by the filo-making skills. It’s cake time and Fass likes the cake but not the mulled wine drink served with it (pulling some Zana-esque faces when he tries it).

Oi don't loik it.
Oi don’t loik it.

Guy schools him that it’s a traditional Italian thing, to serve the cooking liquor as a drink, but Pete thinks it detracts from the dessert. Karen loves that they used the whole pear. Can we get a judge with and Asian background to shake things up – we don’t need two chefs with Italian backgrounds.
So, Zana for the win?

What a delight to watch two teams who can cook dishes that challenge them after weeks of watching people struggle with far more basic meals. Can we have a twist where one team is brought back down the track?
Judging the Italians
The judges don’t say anything too surprising but Guy tells the guys their cake is even better than a similar recipe he has in his cookbook. Let’s hope they make this one on Better Homes & Gardens.
Scores: Karen 7, Guy 7, Liz 7, Fass 6 (he’s always on the lower end), Pete 7, Manu 7. Total: 41. Yep, they are going home.
Judging Zana and Gianni
Fass says they converted him to like baklava and Manu says the stew was “fantastique”.
Score: Karen 8, Guy 7, Liz 8, Fass 7, Pete 8, Manu 7. Total: 45.
Ciao, Italians – you were a delight to watch.

Arrivederci
Arrivederci



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MKR – Wed, Mar 16

We’re at Sydney Olympic Stadium and finally we get to see cooking from Zana and Plus One, Dads/Mates and the Italians. They have to cook for 200 future Olympians, Paralympians and trainers, so the food has to be tasty and nutritious.
As Jordan, looking foxy in this shirt …

Foxy Jordan, just for you, Windsong.
Foxy Jordan, just for you, Windsong.
… says, the Dads have an advantage here as one is a nutritionist.
The “ather-leets”, as Colin calls them, vote for their fave, who will be safe from the next two eliminations. Pete and Colin will choose the two weakest teams, who will enter a sudden death cook-off, as per last night’s Duck Nutters V Lauren and Carmine. (Where’s Manu? Filming new Campbell’s stock ads? It’s been the Colin and Pete show the last two nights.)
It looks like a hot day but luckily they provide the contestants with hats, so there should be no Survivor-style near death experiences (well, until the atherleets eat the food).


Zana, the germaphobe is not keen on cooking outside because there could be “dust and bacteria flying everywhere”. I don’t think she went camping as a kid. They base their dish on a good protein choice, chicken livers, but given the athletes are all quite young the offal is a worrying choice. Their dish is “Loaded capsicum” with chicken livers and sweet potato chips”. But they are not actually writing the word “liver” on their menu board. Hope no vegetarians take a bite.
Jordan and Anna are doing Sweet potato and buckwheat gnocchi with kale pesto. I’ve never seen buckwheat gnocchi but kale is such an overrated “superfood” and it’s icky. Pete should love this one.
Oh no – both Italians are wearing hats, so I can’t tell which one is Hat and which one is Sans Hat. They are making veal involtini with spinach and polenta sticks. Yum!
The Lovebirds are doing chilli beef on sweet potato with a power salad.
Lauren and Carmine are gym-going types so should know what athletes like. They are doing herb chicken with roast veg quinoa. As Lauren says, they have cooked more than most of the teams there so are used to performing under pressure.
Pete hasn’t even seen the Dads/Mates cook before. They are making Mexican chicken tortilla cups.
The Sisters are bickering and hats off to the editors for playing the Muppet Show theme.

Anyone else know their names are Statler and Waldorf? I didn't until just now.
Anyone else know their names are Statler and Waldorf? I didn’t until just now.

They are making quinoa-crusted chicken with grain salad and coriander dressing. Hope there’s a decent whack of veg in there. They plan it to be a healthy version of a schnitty.
Tarq and Dog, er, Dad are making spiced prawns with peshwari curry and wholemeal roti.
As they cook some athletes train in the background, and the camera only cuts to jiggling hurdler Michelle Jenneke once every segment.
Paige and Rosie are doing dukkah-crusted lamb with pistachio and quinoa salad. They are keen to redeem themselves after the RSL duck with watermelon salad.
Colin comes over to check Mr and Mrs Chops aren’t using jars. They are doing pork fillet with pearl couscous and harissa. Can’t say I’d cook pork for a Pork Ambassador when I was already on his hit list.
Everyone’s getting hot and flustered and the pressure is getting to poor Rosie – luckily Paige has her back and Colin gives her a pep talk.


The Miners are making fish tacos with corn salsa and guacamole. Sounds tasty, simple and good summer food – please don’t stuff it up, boys! The are using a pasta machine to roll their taco dough – hope it’s not too thin.
With 15 minutes to go some teams are in a better place than others. It’s so hot it looks like Zana’s false eyelashes are sticking to her eyebrows. The judges like the sound of Anna and Jordan’s buckwheat gnocchi but not so much Lauren and Carmine’s chicken quinoa.
JP and Nelly are worried their sweet potatoes aren’t cooked. Which is because they chucked them in the oven whole, instead of chopping them in half and wrapping in foil to conduct more heat.

It’s service time and Zana and Plus One have nothing to serve.
Gareth (Man Bun Miner) gets the Duck Nutters Memorial Juss Award from pronouncing tortilla as “tor-till-a”. At least non-Man Bun knows how to say it. The judges like the look of their dish. “That’s a good dish,” says Colin. “I’d pay for that.” I can’t wait to see the lads’ faces when they finally get a good critique.


Tasia and Gracia’s chicken gets the thumbs up for its delicious herby sauce.


Anna and Jordan’s gnocchi is “delicious”, says Pete.


Lauren and Carmine’s chicken is “a bit burnt” says Pete and the pumpkin is still raw. can you imagine Lauren’s reaction if she is sent back to sudden death? She’ll have Carmine fitting the judges with concrete boots.


JP and Nelly’s chilli beef with power salad is a bit heavy for the weather. Pete just likes the salad.


The lamb and quinoa by Rosie and Paige is ok but could be better.


Chris and Cookie’s tortilla cups get respect but could do with more seasoning, says Colin. Pete reckons the athletes will lap it up.

With 15 minutes left of service Zana and Plus One still haven’t plated up a dish. Their sweet potato chips just aren’t cooking. Forget the chips and serve the capsicum at least! Zana is only happy with the livers and bursts into tears. A lovely athlete comes over to give her a buck up.
Mr and Mrs Chops serve tender pork but it’s a bit bland, although Colin says “it’s a good dish”. Redemption for the Chopses!


Finally, the judges taste Zana’s food and Pete says the chips look “sad”. The capsicum isn’t cooked and one poor girl breaks her cutlery trying to saw through it.


The Italians are putting on a show for their waiting customers, singing That’s Amore. “It’s not singing to me at the moment,” says Colin. They think it looks drab and the veal is dry.


Tarq and Dad have done a lot of work to get those elements done, they didn’t back off on the spice and Pete says it’s “rockin'”.

So, are we thinking bottom two Lauren and Zana?
Time for the judges’ critiques and it’s more of what we saw earlier, except Colin ask the Sisters for their coriander sauce recipe – high praise indeed. It was nice to see the Chopses’ relief and Jordan’s reaction to Pete’s praise. The Miners must think they are dreaming when Pete says “nothing to fault”. Good on them.
The team that’s the atherleets’ choice is Anna and Jordan. Yay! That was a tricky dish to pull off.
Sudden death teams are Zana and Plus One and Luciano and Martino. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! This is the point in the competition where those who do well under pressure thrive, even if they are not the best cooks.



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MKR Sun, Feb 14 – The Italians

I have high hopes for tonight after the letdown of the Miners.

Italian BFFs Sans Hat and Hat (Luciano and Martino – not sure which is which). One is a flight attendant, the other a former teacher who now works for a jewellery company – perhaps he and Jess can discuss the biz.

Here it is, finally:
And here we are at Season 7, episode 8 – it feels like it’s been much longer.
The Italian BFFs are cooking and I want to see them do well, but I also want to get the high drama Channel 7 has been flogging over and done with.
Luciano the flight attendant and Martino who works in the jewllery industry – so cryptic; is he an international jewel thief? Martino is not wearing his usual hat today, making it harder for me to tell them apart. They have an easy bickering manner that comes with being friends for a decade. Oh, it’s ok – once they hit Coles Martino is back in character as the hat wearer.
Their menu is in Italian – as it should be – and translates roughly as follows:
Entree: Fettucine with sausage and porcini mushrooms (yum)
Main: Osso bucco (veal stew) with risotto (yummo)
Dessert: Ricotta cheesecake (that’s a yum hat-trick because I know they won’t ruin it by putting something stupid like white chocolate in it)
Their restaurant decor is meant to evoke Italy in the 60s and the lads get emotional thinking about their mamas.
In the kitchen, Sans Hat is surprisingly making pasta with Coles flour (or maybe it’s just for dusting) while Hat gets on to their dessert, which was apparently invented by Italians two centuries ago. It’s going well, so cue impromptu round of “It’s Amore” and Hat is beside himself with joy at the aromas – so much so his BFF has to ask: “Are you cooking or are you making love to that dish?”
The shortcrust pastry looks love and buttery but turns out it’s TOO buttery and breaks when he tries to line the tin. Having a problem this early is usually a sign of victory.
The guests rock up and I’m not a fan of the matchy matchy outfits of the miners.

Your man bun looks nice, but when can we unbutton these shirts?
Your man bun looks nice, but when can we unbutton these shirts?

Yet again Jess is strangely dressed – her scarf is more Pink Ladies from Grease than 1960s Italy.

Altogether now: Look at me, I'm Miss Bitch-eeee.
Altogether now: Look at me, I’m Miss Bitch-eeee.

And again the editors remind us of her unhealthy relationship with food. “Deep-fried food scares me. I’m not joking; it makes me feel nervous.”

The Italians look lovely in their snappy shirts and, presumably, cashmere sweaters – but poor things must be hot cooking dressed like that, with the TV lights on them. They are so friendly and welcoming – wish I had a gay Italian uncle.

Hugs and kisses all round.
Hugs and kisses all round …
... except for you. Nev, because I'm not sure how you'd react to a bloke kissing you hello.
… except for you. Nev, because I’m not sure how you’d react to a bloke kissing you hello.

One Italian decides they need to up the stakes and add a coffee semifreddo to their dessert. I’m pro coffee-flavoured anything, but they’ll be pushing to get it frozen in time. However, they are smart to portion the mixture into small bowls so it will freeze more quickly. These guys know what they are doing.

The judges arrive and they are men of the world, so get the traditional triple kiss greeting. None of Pete’s tan rubs off in the process; perhaps he’s just been eating a lot of carrots.

It’s time to read the menu and, of course, Jess is scare by human food: “I normally don’t eat pasta.” But one of the sisters is salivating: “I love carbs; I’m so excited!” That’s the attitude you want on a cooking show – it’s not called My Deprivation Rules.

Jess is especially worried both entree and main have carbs, and yet she seems to be drinking white wine again rather than water – surely that’s 120 empty calories right there? However, she says she’ll give the pasta a go and will offset it with a run in the morning.

The pasta is done and man it looks so good I wish there was an app where I could press a button and have it delivered to my door.

Cue the chew and the Italians and stressed as, but Pete forgets he is a robot and makes bedroom eyes at Manu.

Paleo? What paleo?
Paleo? What’s paleo?

Pete: “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for real Italian food on My Kitchen Rules?” (Sucked in, Nic and Rocco!) “Boys, you delivered … the first bite was heaven.” Manu agrees it’s the best pasta in the history of MKR, and the happy tears are flowing.

The guests are happy, too, and even Jess is damning in her praise of it being a worthwhile “cheat meal”, albeit the sausage is too salty for her taste.

It’s almost mains time and the girls are showing their Asian heritage by pronouncing it “ossko booss-ko”.
And now it’s time for the evening’s entertainment … Nev asks Jess what she would serve friends for dinner, given her eating habits. “I eat very healthy. I know that everyone else doesn’t eat very healthy and I’ll cater for everyone,” she replies in a manner that gets everyone’s back up. What does this mean? She prepares a salad and then adds a deep-fried chicken leg and some fries to it for visitors with more than 2 per cent body fat?
Awkward.
Nev’s parter is no annoyed she does a “talk to the hand” gesture.

You've upset me so much I'm gesticulating like it's 1995.
You’ve upset me so much I’m gesticulating like it’s 1995.

Manu says it’s okay to enjoy flavour and he balances his diet: “I go on run as well.” And in return, gets this look:
You so fat, Manu.
You so fat, Manu.

It appears she’s looking at his waistline, although it’s possible it’s the editing. Burn!
After the ad break it’s back to the kitchen … What, there’s a kitchen on this show? It’s not just about drama?
Uh oh – they don’t have enough sauce jugs so have to use china spoons that don’t hold as much liquid. And now, the biggest shock of the night: The boys are wearing gloves to plate up. Is this allowed on MKR?
My Hygiene Rules.
My Hygiene Rules.

It looks tasty but will they get in trouble for trying to be fancy by separating all the ingredients?


It’s chew time and the boys are worried about the scarcity of sauce. The meat falls apart and Manu happily sucks the marrow from the bone: “The flavours in this deesh are amazing.” But he reminds them to serve it in a traditional manner – one big bowl – so the meat can swim in sauce. Pete agrees the meat was a little dry without the saucy perfection. The risotto was perfect: “Fellas, just cook how you normally cook.”
It’s dessert time and the boys are second guessing their decision to add the semifreddo, because Nonna wouldn’t do it. But then they decided it IS Italian after all to have espresso after a meal, so it will work.
At the table, Jess is worried the dessert could have icing sugar on it (cut to the cheesecake being adorned with a snowstorm of icing sugar) and it gets the guests’ hackles up. We’re reminded again she doesn’t eat chocolate (cut to boys making choccy sauce).


The judges go the chew … The boys are worried the flavours clash but all is well.
Pete: “I think you finished as strong as you started.” Manu is impressed by their use of candied fruit and he’s never eaten this type of cheesecake before. Hooray for the Italians!
The guests are delighted except New Villain (Zana who?), who rudely removes the chocolate from her dish. She doesn’t even try it first, which is discourteous. And then she scrapes off the icing sugar. It’s a food autopsy.
Nellie (the Nice Girl) questions whether she will score them fairly, given her dislikes. But it’s ok; Jess hates all desserts equally.
Non-Man Bun Miner calls her on her attitude and she gets feisty, saying he’s not listening to her.
“I’m listening and I’m not liking any of it,” he replies. “And I really hope that your food tastes better than your attitude.”
Jess wants to stab him with a fork and the other guests secretly applaud Miner No. 1.
And then it’s all over because it happened while Pete and Manu were off camera and couldn’t stir the pot further.
Now for the scoring.

Jess and Whatisface 9; Nev and Mrs Nev 8: Miners 8; Nice couple 8; Sisters 8. T0tal: 41/50 To Jess’s credit she is scoring fairly and the others are being a bit strategic, because they know the judges will mark the boys highly. The Italians are pleased anyway.
Entree: Pete 10 (cue round of applause), Manu (more clapping); Main Pete 8, Manu 7 (ooh – harsh, Manu, given you loved everything but the scarcity of sauce); Dessert Pete 10, Manu 9 (due to wanting thinner pastry).
That’s it. Total: 95.
Tonight the sisters serve up a Balinese feast and it looks like the chilli factor could be troublesome.



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