MKR – Tues, March 1

Welcome to Autumn, everyone. It’s Dee Day and she’s let poor hubby Harry Potter out from under the stairs to help in the kitchen. Bet he wishes he knew the Avada Kedavra curse ….
Sadly this is the last night The Khoo will be on MKR. Nooooo ….

Unfortunately I can’t watch til after 10pm, so have at it with the comments.


Here we go …

Look how happily married we are. For reals.

Look how happily married we are. For reals.


Dee and downtrodden Harry Potter husband (please, can someone please save him from his cupboard under the stairs and send him off to Hogwarts) head off to the shops with 7 hr 30 mins on the clock. So that’s 4 hrs 30 mins to shop and decorate, which seems a long time – are all the nearby Coles stores not pretty enough for TV?

In the car they get the background music of the novelty song, Macarena, because Dee is, you know, Spanish, and that’s the all they had on file. Remember this?

This was 20 years ago - feeling old yet?

This was 20 years ago – feeling old yet?


Dee is coaching Tim on how to say the names of their Spanish dishes, but I don’t hold out much hope given he’s one of those people who says “pronunciation” as “pro-nounce-iation”.
The menu
Entree: Lentijas – Spanish lentil soup with chorizo (sounds not very technical – it’s no twice-baked souffle)
Main: Albondigas Patatas Bravas – Spanish meatballs with potatoes and spicy sauce (I’ve only had these as two separate tapas – not togetether)
Dessert: Flan de Huevo (Spanish creme caramel)

And here’s our last-ever shot of The Khoo and The Fass – or do we call them by their celeb couple name Khoonidge or Fassoo – critiqueing the menu.

Look at us, in new outfits and pretending we don't film all these bits on one day.

Look at us, in new outfits and pretending we don’t film all these bits on one day.


In Coles, we learn Dee has written her shopping list course by course, rather than food groupings, so there will be a lot of time wasted running back and forth. That’s ok; it’s not like there’s a clock counting down or anything.
Harry Potter wipes his schnozz on the veg and this is a bigger crime than last night’s egg shaking.
Who's ever heard of a schnozzberry?

Who’s ever heard of a schnozzberry?


Sure, sniff away but don’t leave boogers on veg you have not paid for. Plus, they are supermarket tomatoes – if they had any tomatoey scent you’d fall over in shock.
After two hours in Coles and with still more shopping to do, Dee concedes she stuffed up the shopping list. Do you reckon she normally does online shopping and never sets foot in a real supermarket?
Finally home, they rush through the setting up of their travel-themed restaurant but still get into the kitchen way behind, with 2:28 on the clock. Tim gets cracking on the dessert as it needs time to set. His caramel looks pale, but maybe that’s the Spanish way.
Dee is micromanaging him, but in their confessional – with Dee within knifing distance – he tells the camera he loves being told what to do. But he’s blinking H-E-L-P in Morse code.
Modest Dee gets out the flour: “Bread. I make it every day. To me, it’s really easy. I’m pretty confiedent it’s going to be perfect.” So, we know something goes wrong with the bread.
And then it gets worse – she says she has changed the soup recipe from the traditional way she and her mum have always cooked. Normally she fries the chorizo first but she just chucks them in whole. Yeah, skip the frying, Dee, why would you want to add amazing flavour and texture to your dish? Might as well just chuck in some cocktail franks instead.
She goes to make the second batch of bread – the one Harry Potter started – and it’s not working and she instantly gets super whiny and oh this is going to get so much worse as the night goes on. And it does within two seconds when she sees her sauteeing onions are slightly brown. Instead of picking out the few browned ones she has a total tantie. Can Jessica come back instead – all is forgiven!
Then the tears start.
My four-year-old has more self control.

My four-year-old has more self control.


Tim attempts to calm her down and she gets it together, only to realise she forgot to put the ham hock in the soup. Those lentils are going to be flavourless mush by the time that ham gets boiling.
Then she points out he’s left the sticker on a lemon that’s been sliced for drinks – let’s hope Lauren gets that one. She gets increasingly cranky that he’s making sangria when the kitchen looks like this:
This is all Tim's fault; none of this mess is Dee's. Not even the lentils and veg which are from her soup.

This is all Tim’s fault; none of this mess is Dee’s. Not even the lentils and veg which are from her soup.


And then this happens:
Tim's wishing he could drink the whole bottle.

Tim’s wishing he could drink the whole bottle.


And he splashes wine an inch away from their precious flans.
We’re only 25 minutes already in and theirs already been more drama and tension than the whole of last night’s episode.
The guests arrive and I was wrong: Channel 7 has one other Spanish song in its music library. It’s Bamboleo, by The Gypsy Kings. And here are the judges, looking schmick, as per usual, and they get the cool kids music of Goldfrapp We Are Glitter.
Last time Rachel arrives at an MKR house.

Last time Rachel arrives at an MKR house.


The guests peruse the menus and they are done in a cool airline-ticket style, but it’s all in Spanish – no translation – which is pretentious.
Back in the kitchen, Dee’s soup just needs one more thing: cumin powder. And what have they bought? Coriander powder. Fail! Again, it’s all Harry Potter’s fault even though they went shopping together.
"Anywhere but my face, Deeze."

“Anywhere but my face, Deeze.”


This is where frying off the chorizo would have helped, both to impart flavour and look more appetising on top of the soup.


It’s chew o’clock …
The Fass was happy with the hearty, peasant-style look of the dish, but that was it. The lentils weren’t cooked, the onion was raw, the chorizo wasn’t caramelised, there wasn’t enough flavour: “What I got was not very good.” The Khoo says it’s obvious they had trouble in the kitchen. Yep, her name is Dee.
She tears up and Lauren can’t hide her disgust, thinking she’s going for the sympathy vote. The only nice thing the guests can say is they liked the bread, so Lauren – who’s on the bottom of the leaderboard – is happy again.
ticket
Back in the kitchen they get to work on the meatballs and Harry Potter is tasked with toasting the homemade bread for crumbs in the oven. And burns the bread. And not in a gourmet “ash is cool” kind of way.
At least they have a back-up packet of breadcrumbs. Dee then gives hubby the complicated task of rolling meatballs.
It’s taking them ages – the guests are very restless – and, foolishly, Dee has made hubby wait til the rolling is done until they start browning meatballs, even they can only fit a few in the pan at a time.
And the ones he has done are raw in the middle. She’s a very supportive wife: “Just cook them! You’re pissing me off.”
Run away, Harry – don’t let the Dementor get you!
Why don’t they chuck them in the oven to finish off? They are plating up and it looks awful. Apparently they had a different vision for the dish, but it would be hard to make it look pretty, even if it was well cooked.


Chew time … and The Fass is disappointed with the blahness of the dish: “You didn’t give me Spain. I didn’t travel nowhere.” Not only are the meatballs uncooked, the sauce is, too. The Khoo gives them cooking tips for next time and says the aioli – which is easy to make, but then Lisa had to do hers four times – is good. The potatoes should have been par-boiled before deep frying to get them crunchy. She tries to buck them up: “Show me a cracker of a dessert.”
Carmine and Lauren are dancing on the inside.
Dad No. 1, who has nibbled the edge of one meatball, sums it up when he says: “If we had been able to eat them, I reckon they might have been enjoyable, actually.”
Carmine and Lauren aren’t as used to being tactful. “I would say they are going home already,” he tells the table, which is just the sort of comment to make people want to boot you from the comp.

Back in the kitchen they know they’ve screwed up, but at least their dessert is mostly done. The creme caramels slide out of the ramekins pretty well, and the two slightly bodgy ones are headed for Carmine and Lauren. The caramel looks super pale, and the side garnish of three raspberries and two whole, giant mint leaves is weird. Why not serve the dessert on dark plates for contrast, with some kind of crumb and perhaps a tuille to scoop with? Yes, that would be beyond their abilities but they could have done something else to fancy it up.


Time for the judges to masticate …
The Khoo liked the plating but says the caramel was under. The Fass agrees but found the garnish “pedestrian”.
Hazel loves the flan and it’s generally well received, although no-one seems to have touched their mint leaves, perhaps because they’d need a knife to cut them.
Just before scoring time, Lauren is winning friends: “I hate to think that, if I had cried my eyes out, that would have saved me. I’m not going to put on tears just because I want to win votes.”
Time for the team scores but, oh, that’s right, we have to go back to HQ for the reveal. They need to beat Carmine and Lauren’s 51 and if everyone scores fairly, Dee and hubby will get the boot for having two inedible dishes.

Judges: Entree Khoo 3, Fass 2; Main Khoo 2, Fass 2; Dessert Khoo 6, Fass 6. The guest teams gave a combined score of 11/50, for a total of 32.
Bye bye, Dee, and – sniff – bye, Rachel Khoo. Please come back next year for more than four eps.
The other teams file back in, 15 in total. As with last year, the bottom two teams will go another round with Pete and Manu. At the end, two teams will get the boot. So it’s out of The Ducks Nutters, The Miners, The Cops, The Stepsies, Carmine and Lauren and SA Besties Rosie and Paige. From the promos, MKR is relying on Lauren to stir the pot.



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61 Comments

  1. Tim shares his snot with all the fresh produce.

    Bloody hell over two hours in Coles!

    I wonder how domineering Tim’s mother is.

    Before the first ad break, they are already crying. It is going to be a long night.

    • I’m sure she’s a decent human being when she’s not on a cooking show with a camera-crew in her face.

      But her treatment of her husband is *atrocious*. Poor Tim just seems … broken. Like, he doesn’t even try to stand up for himself, he just lets her treat him like crap. It’s bloody hard to watch.

      I just feel sorry for him.

  2. Really, a twist we have never seen before? Let me guess, another instant restaurant round comprising of the bottom teams.

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  3. No need to have the breadcrumbs in the top rack of the oven unless you’re passionate about burning them. Tiny Tim can’t do anything well enough for the pain from Spain.

    Dee is for “Dr.Phil” ~ASAP

    • I don’t think I’m gonna be able to watch this episode without the “mute” button. I can’t listen to her whining for another minute, I can’t imagine how her husband survives every day without the use of alcohol, medication or both. This woman is insane.

    • When they realised they’d left the cumin at the shops, did you hear Dee? “Where’s the cumin?” Pause for beat. “Where’s the cumin *Tim*?”

  4. I will say, though, that Rachel looks old-school Hollywood glamorous in her dress tonight. Like, wow, she’s just so gorgeous.

  5. Geez, Manu is lifting Matt’s line of the best home cooks eva.

    Looks like Redemption round is all about a certain person.

    Yeah, we got 9Life today.

  6. The meatballs were never going to cook with Tim micromanaging them ,shifting them constantly. A big cheer for using tongs though ,while all hell is breaking loose.

    Dee didn’t do much beside abuse her husband.

    “It didn’t toik me nowhere” That gem from Colin made me laugh.

  7. Just finished watching. The woman is mad and Tim can’t cook to save his life. Imagine hearing the voice 24/7. If Dee not mad Tim will be mad soon.

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  8. Shock! Gasp! The big surprise twist … was the same thing they did last year. Eugh.

    And not only are we still weeks away from seeing Jordan again, but it’s another 6 nights with Lauren and Carmine! Excuse me, I need to go violently destroy my television.

    OTOH, good riddance to Dee and Tim. I can’t shake the feeling that Tim’s body is going to be found in a ditch somewhere, tomorrow.

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    • The ad said “The twist no one saw coming” and my immediate thought was “The twist EVERYONE saw coming”.

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  9. We know Carmine and Lauren won’t win MKR. Just waiting for the Zana vs Lauren showdown.

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  10. Dee is so rude, demanding and spoilt. The way she speaks to Tim is disgusting. He is mad for taking it, more fool him. Making excuses for her he needs to grow a pair or head for the hills.
    I was shocked when minutes before dishing up the entree she said right all we have to do is add the onions and casicum etc. and then it’s done.
    No wonder the vegetables were all raw.
    The onions especially should have gone in with the lentils hours ago.
    I won’t even comment on the main.
    I am pleased she lost. Would loved to have known the contestants scores, even though they were the bottom of the barrel.

    Looks like it will be on with our next lot of home cooks and dear Lauren. I wonder if she can really cook?

  11. Oh God. Why oh why did I watch this dross? And it’s only the second show I’ve bothered with this year, so why this one? Am I completely nuts? Probably.

    Is it usual for Spanish mothers and non Spanish fathers to provide any issue? Because it seems to me as though a fairly important part of the wedding ceremony is the part where the groom loses his fundamental chunky dunkies. Tim certainly has.

    • I don’t know,either. I’m assuming it’s describing Dee’s infantile, crying performance in the kitchen last night. When I Googled it, I found a reference to it on an old Biggest Loser blog on Reality Ravings. I’ll leave the author to fine tune what my take on it is…

  12. How embarrassing for Tim to face the world when everyone can see he being abused by Dee and he has no clue in the kitchen.

    Imagine working with Dee.

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    • I can imagine him rocking up to work today… and all the flack he’s going to get. I bet you his dad was crying for him last night too.

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      • Here’s hoping people are kind to him and show him how to light a gas burner or cook meatballs.

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  13. As has been said feel quite sorry for Where’s Wally… he married a complete nutter! Part of me thinks he performed poorly to sabotage having to further spend more one on one time under the mircroscope with the psycho… or to anger her enough to hope she leaves him (for he certainly aint got the nads to do it himself)… because seriously no one could cook as bad as he did.

    Furthermore any contestant that critiques other contestant dishes for not being competition worthy.. ensure your selection of “menus” are all competition worthy as well because a simple lentil soup (that they royally screwed up)… meatballs and potatoes that they royally screwed up… and a creme caramel which isn’t super complicated all on ensuring you nail the cooking time.

    I suppose if you’ve been brought up eating poorly cooked food you probably think it’s awesome… no wonder she’s always hangry.

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  14. Dee is an outright Bully. She showed us tendency’s all the way through the last 5 dinners, and then really exploded on our screens last night.

    Now I want to know why Prime showed such a dreadful example of Bullying and harrassing behaviour when children are still viewing at 7.30pm at night. We get(as in all of us) restricted in media, print and our workplaces about what we can see, what we can say in public, what we can do, what is acceptable, what is discrimination in the workplace, what is harrassment etc etc…and this program was still shown??? Shame on you Prime!!

    Then Dee couldn’t organies, time manage or Cook, but I get the impression that it will be Tim’s fault…and really…he couldn’t cook either.
    Don’t Prime check if all the contestants can actually cook, as there have been some dreadful cooks so far this year. It feels like more than the previous years.

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    • A lot of people severely disturbed by what was on display last night! imagine if it was a husband treating his wife like that on tv? Also didn’t notice that the two of them were paraded on Sunrise this morning to explain… channel 7 has been very quiet so far today after all the backlash.

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    • Over the years we have had some horrors paraded before us in the name of entertainment. A few we later worked out were really ok but producers cut and paste to make them look bad, but last night was just disgusting. Do these people get tested by psychologists because after that show, they should either sack the doctor they have or get one for the auditions.

      • Yeah they get tested, but I assure you it isn’t for the contestants benefit.. it’s to know what makes the contestant tick and identify various triggers so they can use that as ammunition during filming. Show I was, we were supposed to be de-briefed after our run ended.. never heard from our shrink… my only talk with the shrink was a 1 hour phone convo with her a few months before filming commenced.

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    • With poor Tim, it was almost funny, and it would’ve been hilarious had it not been for his loving (hah!) wife heaping verbal abuse on him all night long.

      Forgot to turn the stove on. Forgot to take a sticker off of one of the lemons in the sangria. And then, pouring the wine into the jug … I mean, that’s not even cooking, that’s basic hand-eye coordination. I’d imagine his self-esteem shattered to pieces *long* ago. He was probably so rattled and terrified of incuring Dee’s wrath that he falls apart in a stressful situation.

      Editing can explain many evils, sure, but it can’t put words in somebody’s mouth. Watching Dee treat her husband like that made for an uncomfortable and awful viewing experience. Dee bounced between vicious and destructive, and utterly infantile. I’d be frankly concerned. We tell women every day that you shouldn’t put up with your spouse treating you like that, and Tim needs to hear that same message. I hate to “hope” for a marriage to break-up, but I genuinely hope for his sake that he packs a bag, one day, and never looks back.

      And maybe takes some cooking classes, too. *shrug*

  15. Interestingly enough, there’s been a bit of social media backlash over Dee and her treatment of her husband. Even Will and Steve from last year’s MKR said something on Twitter that Tim “should not be in a kitchen, and he obviously doesn’t really want to be there”. But a lot of commentators pointed out (quite rightly IMHO) that we were witnessing domestic abuse in a prime-time TV slot, and that’s really not okay.

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  16. I am with you wind song, I think it was domestic abuse. I felt really uncomfortable watching it. I didn’t like it.

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    • No, I didn’t either.

      I read a few comments from viewers on websites, and a lot of people said the same thing. That Dee’s insulting and controlling behaviour — and Tim’s nervous fumbles — were actually funny, for about 2 minutes. But it just kept on getting worse, and worse, and he just looked more and more broken, all the while Dee just kept telling him how worthless he was. You don’t treat human beings like this. You certainly don’t treat your spouse like that.

      The thing that really jumped out at me, though? At the end of the night, when Dee and Tim were in front of the judges, and Dee just started monologuing about how, “We’ve had such a great time” and “We’ve had so many unique experiences” and “We wanted this so badly” and “We did our best” and “We learned so much” ….. and it was always “we”. She just spoke for him. Tim’s role in that moment was to stand there meekly, nod his head, and not think/say/do anything that Dee didn’t want him to think/say/do.

      Yeah, there are couples where one partner is really feisty and loud, and the other partner goes along with it … but this was just awful. This was controlling and insulting and abusive. I’m with you, I didn’t like it one bit. Thing is, escaping her would probably be quite difficult.

  17. Once upon a time I knew a Chilean lass under 5 ft with her over 6 ft husband. She wore the boots big time, as did her mother at her home. I gathered from her, that’s the way it is in the Spanish speaking community. Their food was surprisingly bland. They used to entertain frequently but certainly not tapas style that “we” are used to hearing about. Boiled rice and veges would be a frequent accompaniment to meats at dinner time. The meatballs would be considered a “standard” evening family meal. After all the comments about what constitutes a “competition dish”, nothing served up last night was what could be considered “special”. The judges may like to see home cooking done well but raw does not equate to “done” at all. Good riddance!

    I read that it took three weeks to film the eps that Rachel was in. Interesting to know if teams go home during the filming or spend the time sitting in hotel rooms.

  18. Recap is finally up – just as another one starts! Sorry – should be back on track from now on (famous last words).

  19. You are doing a great job,thank you Juz. We can cope without the recap. You have a family and job that is priority. Just do what you can cope with.

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  20. Seeing Rachel go was hard. Pretty much every night she looked a smash and kept a stiff upper lip at every tucker trial she faced. Take the money and run.

    Pete and Manu have both returned with hairstyles that underscore their age. Pete’s was really out there. Anyone’s guess which side of their heads the pile of grease will be on any given night. The presentation lacks consistency.

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  21. Thanks to those who’ve alerted me to spammy comments of late. If you spot anything please do shoot me an email and say what thread it’s on. I only check the comments sporadically when at work. Ta

  22. Gee Juz, the spammers are working overtime today. We will understand if you need to revert to log ins. Too bad Mr Sidecar couldn’t set up an electric shock system for spammers. Just 50 volts would be good.

    • I may have to give some of you regulars the ability to squish them when I’m busy. I’m disappointed there have been no “my cousin earns $500 a day” Types.

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