Tag: FWAW

Farmer Wants a Wife Wk 2

Generally, the farmers seem a decent bunch of blokes. Perhaps one or two of the girls are in it for the fame but it’s certainly not MAFS-level casting.

I enjoy watching a show where the only duck lips ot on actual ducks.
FWAW screens on Seven Sun, Mon and Tues.



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Farmer Wants a Wife starts

The FWAW reboot starts tomorrow (Sun) at 7pm on a Seven.

It has a decent track record for some of its farmers finding true love so fingers crossed this season will be the same. You can read a “where are they now?” https://www.nowtolove.com.au/celebrity/tv/farmer-wants-a-wife-couples-where-are-they-now-35942

Will you be watching?



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Farmer Wants a Wife – Ep 3

Hooray for guest recapper, Daisy:

Tonight on Farmer Wants a Wife…..
We pick up where we left off last week, saying goodbye to the first round of home stay girls. Now we know, ttv readers, that our hearts have warmed to Farmer Matt, but (slaps own face) we have to remain objective, and no free pass for our toothy cattle rancher.
The show begins with Famer Julz, 36, who wants to prove that there is fun to be had in Tumby Bay, so he takes his girls to segway park. Hmmm, I hope Tumby Bay gets better than segway. Adam chooses something to test his girls’ cooking skills and dinner table conversation, and takes them to a cooking class. Still not a lot of fun. They get a class in tortellini making. Hayley is on edge and feeling insecure. Not a good look, Hayley.
Samantha is developing feelings for Oyster Farmer Jedd, but photographer Kerry gets the jump on her and, camera in hand, goes to the beach with Jedd and Gregory. Gregory gets to show off his canine modelling, and Jedd is probably going to ask Greg if he likes Kerry. Jedd is still being bashful.
Now the screen heats up as we see Farmer Matt drive in on his enormous machine. He is definitely the producers choice for sex and sizzle. The word dirty gets mentioned a lot now. The girls aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty, and we saw Matt’s dirty hands last week. It’s very sexy work, cattle rustling. There sweat, singlets, skin and phemerones are going crazy. April is drooling. Amelia is gushing. But Gabi is feeling left out.
Now on Lachie’s farm, he wants to make sure he makes the right decision-he is running out of dating show options. His girls are dolling up for a day out at Camden races. Lachie has invited his mates to check out the girls, while the girls do their best to appear bright, witty and charming. But Lachlan is bombing out with Jess, who didn’t feel any sparks.


Over at the rodeo, Lance brings his mate Bob to help lasso a filly. There is some bull handling and Lisa doesn’t want anything too big or frisky between her legs. Not sure if she means Lance. In the meantime, Julz takes beautician Alex to feed parrots.


For a nice interlude, the parrots are pretty. Alex and Julz get on well enough for Alex to thank Julz for sharing his budgie.
Here we have some farmer related ads for those of us who might need a tractor and then it’s back to Farmer Matt, taking his cowgirls to a beautiful creek for a frollick. I think April and Amelia are OK with a threesome and we all get to see Matt’s bum, rewind, bum again, rewind, bum…..OK move on. The slap and tickle in the creek has left Gabi once again feeling a little behind, but not the same behind that April felt. Matt takes Gabi off into the bushes and asks to see every side of her.


Gabi obliges and they lock lips. Well played Gabi! Matt tells the camera he is lost for words.


At Adam’s sedate luncheon, talk turns to relationship goals. Christine’s heart is melting, but Hayley is floundering. She doesn’t cope well with competition and her inner bunny boiler is showing. Hayley’s eyes tear up. She wants Adam to herself. She is anxious about the other girls’ ability to engage Adam in witty banter. At the rodeo, hot and cold Karen is off the boil again. She doesn’t want to hurt Lance, but she writes him a dear John letter, even though he is only in the kitchen.


Lance was sad, but resilient. That little “rip snorter” was his favourite. Lance must be partial to a sad sack. Karen drives away as Lance turns his attention back to spoiling his two remaining “lovely ladies”.
Back at Camden race track (do dah, do dah….sorry), the girls are hitting the juice and have loosened up. They are enjoying Lachie’s mates and cousin Stu, all of whom look a bit like a bunch of codgers. Julz’s feelings for Megan are beginning to waver, so he takes her for a deep and meaningful walk on a jetty, while Jedd takes Samantha to sit in a vineyard. Jedd finally gets over his shyness and zooms in for the smooch. He does well, for a slow starter. Returning to Camden, Jess lets Lachie down gently with an ‘it’s not me it’s you’ and an offer to stay friends. She has no regrets, perhaps because she can now go on to do First Dates. Lachlnan is pragmatically still looking forward to his future.
Now be patient viewers because as the episode winds up, we are told that next week ….the claws will be out. Miaooow. Till next week ????

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Farmer Wants A Wife – episode 2

Daisy is kindly doing us a recap, but as she is on WA time, feel free to comment in the meantime if you’re managing to fit Farmer in amid the reality TV overload tonight.
Judging from this tweet, the visit to see Farmer Lance is going to be a classy affair.

Over to Daisy: Well I think Farmer Matt was avoiding me because when I turned on the telly, he had started without me. So I grab a cuppa and settle in. This is the episode where the hopeful girls arrive at the farms, all nervous giggles and inappropriate footwear. They have come to see if their farmer is a JR Ewing or a Pa Kettle.

The farmers all welcome their girls. The keenest are cowboy Lance and his girls, although his favourite, Lorraine had bailed citing personal reasons. But Lance gets over it pretty quickly as a couple of his ladies bounce together on a bunk. On If You are The One, these ladies would be called “left overs”.
Jedd loves Greg. And Greg loves Jedd. So it was smart of Shonelle to bring a doggie treat for Greg. Julz has a seven-year-old daughter, River, whom we see briefly before she is wisely whisked off camera. I can’t warm to Julz myself. He has the look of a man covered in tattoos, even though he isn’t covered in tattoos.

Next we see some horseplay from cowboy Lance. He says he isn’t ready to choose yet, but he is busy sampling Suzie’s bum. The ladies have commented Lance is “touchy feely”. Adam from Gippsland has eyes for Hayley, but the self-confessed butcher girl wore princess boots and struggled through the paddock.

At dinner time, the boys show off their cooking skills, and Lance just shows off. He is in his element. Lachlan has never seen a stove before – in fact, is this even his kitchen? Probably not. (Does anyone remember his house from his last dating show?) Jedd from Coffin Bay, SA, prepares seafood, but Kerry confesses she hates seafood. Wrong farm, Kerry. You should marry a sheep farmer. At his farm, Adam chooses flight attendant Kelsea to go in the kitchen to baste his loaf, and she did a good job of leaning sexily over the bench.
In the morning, well actually well before morning, Adam took his girls milking. Lance rounds up his fillies and slaps Suzie on the bum … again … and again. Then they throw horse poo at each other, and that works for Suzie. Law and finance student Amelia catches Matt’s eye and they manage to feel each other’s bums while pretending to round up cattle. Then they go off alone and get sexy. Jedd puts his girls to the test with a swimsuit competition. He gets bashful, but they don’t. Then they all wear wetsuits to go oyster farming and oyster farmer ogling. They all hope Jedd is well hung. Jedd is growing on me, but it might be that lovely sea. Back on land, Adam has a picnic with Tarryn. They get deep and meaningful and Adam asks that dangerous question; “Why haven’t you found love before now?”. Then a salami comes between them but no kissing.

Now Julz gets a one on one with Megan. Megan wants to start a turkey farm, and that is a turn on for Julz, so they stay out late, leaving Julz’s other girls to fret. First kiss of the episode goes to Laclan. He kisses Belinda. As Dr Phil would say, this isn’t Lachlan’s first rodeo.
Later, when Adam’s girls are ready to eat dinner, there is a veterinary emergency and the girls rush out to watch Adam insert his arm into Clara’s bottom. Clara is NOT one of his dates. We can only hope that Adam washed thoroughly before dinner or any post dinner snuggling.
The next day there is the general round of “Let’s see if the little lady can shear a sheep and drive a tractor”, as the girls are given farm chores to do. Matt’s girls are fencing and April wants to prove she can handle the shaft. Lachie tries hay baling, but he is as good with a tractor as he is with a stove. His group go back for early lunch. Jedd’s girls sort oysters. Lance is happier than a pig in mud, or a dog on heat, because he gets to keep all of his girls, but he is busy trying before buying. He does a bit of horsing around with Suzie again, and shows off his groping … I mean roping skills. It all got too much for Karen, who packed her little pink suitcase, but Lance pulled out his ace card and took her for a romantic buggy ride, and nearly kills her in the process. Karen says Lance has a lot of love to give.

Skip now to Decision Day. The girls are nervous. The farmers are nervous. The camera crew are nervous. We are nervous and guessing who will get the cowboy boot.

First up is “Helicopter Hottie” Matt. My guess; Anna. Yep it’s Anna. At this point I notice little Gabrielle is cute.

Next it’s Julz, and unsurprisingly he says goodbye to Amanda.
Lachlan “wasn’t drawn to Kate”. Someone must have told Jedd it’s best to be cruel to be kind because he ripped Shanelle off like a bandaid on a hairy leg. Adam struggled to name his loser but in the end it was Kelsea. What????? And Lance managed to woo Karen back into the hen house.
The unlucky girls wax philosophical as they drive into the sunset back to find that love that awaits.

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The Farmer Wants A Wife premiere recap

Dear Daisy has kindly offered to take a crack at recapping the next ep (if anyone else wants to tackle other shows, be my guest!), so in the meantime here are a few thoughts on last night’s premiere.

We open with shots of farmers wistfully staring into the distance. They are pondering their heart-rending loneliness … or the size of their second mortgages.

New host Sam McClymont is personable and genuine, but to be honest the host could be pretty much anyone. It’s not like Survivor, which would be unthinkable without Jeff Probst, or Bachie without Osher.

Helicopter pilot Matt from cattle station Pilbara WA, is 25 but looks 40 – that’s sun exposure for you – and at least he looks like a real person. Actually, none of the blokes this season is a pretty boy, and that’s a good thing.

Farmer Adam is from Gippsland, Vic, where judging from the lush pasture it rains a lot. I’m not used to seeing farms that are green. He’s 25 and runs dairy cattle. Does a 25-year-old really need to settle down or am I cynical and thinking it is more about an extra pair of hands?

Single dad Julz, 36, is from Tumby Bay, SA (go SA) and has a cutie seven-year-old daughter. He’s the first farmer I’ve seen with a double ear piercing.

Cowboy Lance, 52, arrives and I can tell he’s from Queensland before it pops up on the sceen he’s from Rocky. He’s an ex-bullrider and seems a knockabout bloke. Has he suffered in the romance department because he did the rodeo circuit and never stayed put?

Shy oyster farmer Jedd, 37, from Coffin Bay, SA, arrives next. He was a  lawyer before deciding to have a seachange and heal is soul – perhaps he came up against that dreadful MKR woman in the courtroom. I like him already, although maybe it’s the thought of all-you-can-eat oysters that’s drawing me in.

Sidenote: What’s different about the house they’re filming this season at? It’s the same one, right, with the fountain, but they’ve painted it blue. Surely it used to be white?

And here comes Lachie, from Camden NSW, which is practically suburban Sydney so no hardship for whoever he picks. I didn’t watch Love At First Sight but from the rumours flying around it’s hard to believe he’s genuine. Hopefully he’ll prove us wrong and go on to be one of the FWAW suuccess stories.

Here are the girls and at least they are not all in sequins a la The Bachelor. There are even a few women in jeans – good on you, gals.

The lambs to the slaughter … cough … farmers … enter and their eardrums burst from to the screeching of the wannabe wives. Lance, aka older Dave Hughes, is lapping it up and Lachie goes in for cheek kisses. Urgh.

Time to sit on a hay bale and do awkward speed dating. Poor Jedd is struggling. “Do you like Game of Thrones?”. Well, I do, so I’m still wanting a trip to the oyster farm.

Matt tells Amelia in the red shoes that she is his fave and the feeling seems mutual.

Julz is given a stubby holder by Army Reservist and economist Megan and they both love shooting, so let’s hope he picks her and not some 20-year-old beautician type.

A few of the girls have donned hats to stand out and it’s working, although the nice girl is wearing white pants, so let’s hope she doesn’t pack them for the farm.

Lachie’s girls seem to be the ones with the most makeup and Lance’s ladies love his hand-holding forwardness. Lorraine and Lance are clicking, despite Lance referring to himself in the third person. She’s 49 and looks like she could do with a nice fella to give her some TLC.

Jedd is liking Sam and her skinny jeans while Lance is sparking with Karen. Why do all Lance’s ladies look like hardworking barmaids from Outback pubs?

It’s time for the farmers to sort the wheat from the chaff.

Adam picks his four, including sweet Elsie in the black and red check dress, a couple of randoms and the blonde hat girl in the white pants.

Julz of the broad shoulders picks the fellow shooter and some others. Don’t think there are any divas in this bunch, so that will be a relief.

Matt’s girls are younger, so there’s greater potential for diva behaviour and cluelessness about farm life. His picks include the tall girl whom he said was his fave. Last pick is April, who looks like a younger version of Suzie from The Block. Sorry, April, if that’s an insult. Matt could face the toughest challenge in that his property is a long, long way from anywhere.

Farmer Jedd is about to make his picks and – drama, drama – the music gets tense and the girl in the lovely black dress speaks. Looks like we’re heading for a “it’s not you, it’s me” speech already. Yep, she’s realised she’s not made for a competitive dating show and so he has to come up with a replacement. So now the girls chosen will always be wondering if they were choice No. 5. No surprise he picks Sam in the jeans.

Lachie’s wannabe wives are a lustful bunch and many have seen his previous show. Pick No. 2 says she didn’t watch. One of the leftover girls says through gritted teeth she hopes there’s a wedding at the end of the show.

Lance’s unselected girls will be devo. Can’t we have a spin-off show to find them all nice boyfriends or at least send them off for a spa weekend? Susie is a domestic engineer – does that mean she’s a stay-at-home-mum or is that a real title? She seems like a handful. His last pick is the well-groomed Lisa, who stands out a bit from the other ladies, and not just because she knows how to pick a supportive bra. Taking a punt here that Lisa is post-divorce or perhaps a health battle and is now determined to try something new. Good on her.

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The Farmer Wants a Wife premiere

farmermainimage
Put on your best RMs and turn up the collar of your blue shirt – it’s time for some city chicks to realise farms are a long way from the nearest nail salon and skinny latte. It starts at 8.45pm but MKR does not finish til 9pm, so I expect many of you will be recording or watching it on catch-up TV. Let me know what you think.

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