Australian Survivor – Mon, Oct 10 – Hurry up and make a move

Please, for the love of the Survivor Gods, can someone make a move tonight! The promos say the alliance will be shattered but how many times have we heard about a big shakeup and then … crickets ….


My guess would be Brooke finally gets her posse to turn on Lee, before he can use his advantage. If it’s business as usual and Kristie is voted out instead it’s going to be sooo boring.
If you haven’t already, check out the Ponderosa (aka Jury Villa) clips for Nick, Kylie, Sue and JL at TenPlay

It’s night 43 and JL has just been voted out. Flick is getting a bit of camera time about wanting to make a big move so let’s hope it’s not just hype.
The next day she’s talking about how she thinks Brooke is a bit fake sometimes. Wow – 44 days in and we are just finding out they are not BFFs.
Brooke apparently still plans to get rid of threats Lee and El: “I would be stupid to let two months of friendship ruin my life.”

Challenge time
It’s another Survivor endurance classic – one that Cochran won in his second outing but only after he was given an advantage. They have to lean backwards over the water holding a rope, with the angle increasing over time.
There’s a lot of chatter among the castaways and a boys versus girls rivalry. “Awkies, this one,” says Lee. After 20 minutes everyone is still in but the next knot hold should knock a few people off. Magic Matt is first out. Then, surprisingly, Brooke. The final three turns out to be Flick (who did well given she’s not as wiry as the other girls), Lee and Sam. Sam wins and choose Lee to go on the reward, which is a night sleeping in a proper bed.


Back at camp the four poster canopy bed is waiting for Sam and Lee but even more exciting is a pile of Tim Tams. Sam kindly breathes on the girls so they can smell the chocolate. I don’t know how they refrained from killing him.
As the boys loll on the bed, Brooke whispers “bastards” and Flick replies “assholes”. More stuff you wouldn’t hear on US Survivor. They hatch a plan to vote Lee or likeable El because they reckon Kristie won’t win a challenge.
“I absolutely love these two people as human beings but I want $500,000,” Brooke tells the camera.
Now Brooke just has to convince Sam to vote for his bestie Lee but he’s a bit reluctant to do his mate before El.
But Flick is keen to make a big move and secretly tells El that Brooke and Sam are not on board the El train. El is stunned but soon the talk turns to them trying to blindside Brooke.
Hooray – people finally playing the game! If Flick buddies up with El to get Brooke out now, she must be hoping for a final three with Kristie and Matt.


But first, we get some lightheartedness from Lee doing his best Zoolander in the trunks he won on the reward challenge. But then Sam puts a downer on everything by telling the camera how hard it is to lie to Lee – and we get sad piano music to emphasise the point. And Lee makes it even harder by giving him the last Tim Tam.
But the next day El breaks the news to Lee that BFF Sam wants him gone and you can tell he’s hurt. Finally, someone talks to Kristie about using her as a number. Lee recruits her and, despite misgivings about Flick’s trustworthiness, Kristie couldn’t be happier.

Immunity challenge
They have to build a house of wooden cards while holding on the platform steady with a cord. As you’d expect, Lee is rather good at a challenge that requires such good hand-eye co-ordination. “F— off, wind,” he mutters. His structure has a definite wiggle in it; Kristie’s looks straighter. But Lee wins his first individual immunity – and I think is the first guy to win.

Back at camp Flick sees herself as in a strong place, as she has two alliances from which to choose. Both alliances are a bit worried she will turn on them.


Tribal council
Oh god – we are getting more of that booming music they play in movies when a mad monk is chasing someone through a castle waving a carving knife. There’s another 10 minutes of airtime so that means we will have to suffer through endless JLap questions about trust.
Actually, it’s not too bad. I just want to cut to the vote so I can see the jury’s reaction.
The vote: (Will Lee use his advantage?) Matt votes El “It’s time for a move; welcome to World War III”); Kristie votes Brooke: “It’s time for the Ice Queen to step off your self-proclaimed throne”.
JLap reads the votes: Brooke, El, Brooke (“Oh you bastard” she mutters at Lee with a smile, while Magic Matt looks confused and Nick sits mouth agape on the jury bench), El, Brooke, El and … it’s Brookey (which must be Flick’s vote).


“Well, that was a surprise,” says Brooke, but she leaves with a smile and a wave.

Afterwards: Brooke says she’ll forgive Flick but it will take a little time. Like, the time it takes between that moment and the final tribal vote, Brooke?

Well, finally we had an episode when something happened. Hallelujah. Flick has copped her share of criticism but she was smart enough to know she couldn’t win against Brooke. If she makes it to the end she could get Nick and JL’s votes purely because of this move. This all bodes well for Kristie as she’ll be able to play under the radar now while the bigger egos do battle.



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Australian Survivor – Mon, Oct 3 – Jennah Louise make the edit

It seems like Nick was voted out ages ago, but in Survivor time it was just a few minutes. Back at camp besties Lee and Sam don’t hide their contempt for him, which just makes them look like tools who need to move on when they are still in the game and the so-called snake is gone.
Magic Matt ponders over some of the bombs Nick threw at tribal council, when he knew he was going home, including that Matt is at the bottom of is alliance.
Holy moley – Jennah Louise is talking! She and Matt whisper about the accuracy of the truth bombs and Matt agrees Nick was right about “the group and the fractions”. Yeah, how bout those fractions! Matt is feeling a little lonely and is reminded of his school days, having no BFF. Aww – lucky you are now a cool magician, Matt.
Flick goes into damage control mode the next day and flat out lies to Sue: “I’m not in an alliance with Brooke and El.” Geez, Flick – even Sue will be able to see through that. She tries to get Sue to join her posse with the girls and the muscle bros. Which leaves Matt, Kylie, JL and Kristie on the outs. Sue says she’s in, but she’s not fooled: “Not in a fit would I take any orders from Flick, Brooke or El … but I’m in a very weak position here, and I have to lay down dead dog for a bit.”
Sure, play dead dog, Sue (and did you see how bruised her poor knees were>), but even better would be to ally with the other outcasts so it’s 5-5.
I really want to see a tie at tribal so we can have a fire-making competition.
Flick and Brooke have Matt in their sights, as he’s now paranoid and acting weird. Cut to Matt wearing jeans that have been cut into shorts, but he’s still wearing the bottom part of the jeans as leg warmers.
(And look – I tweeted about it and the official SurvivorAU account replied with this!)


Brooke would prefer Kylie gone as she’s a physical threat but she’s letting emotion get the better of her – Kylie is a physical threat but she has no social or strategic game.
Case in point: Kylie still thinks she’s in alliance with Brooke, Flick and Sam.
We are getting a lot of talking heads from Matt tonight, saying how his weakness is wanting people to like him. You and everyone, Matt. I hope you can make it through but the amount of camera time you are getting worries me.
OMG – JL is speaking again! “I’m ready to make big moves,” she says. Yes, JL – please, finally, can someone not let the majority alliance trample them without organising an opposing alliance that’s not a complete shambles.

Challenge time
We get a “Come on in, guys” from JLap, who has a chat about how well the girls are doing at challenges. This one is a three parter with people eliminated after each section
JLap warns that the first four out of the challenge face some consequence, but doesn’t say what.
Kylie, El, Brooke, Sam, JL and Kristie are first across the balance beam section.
JLap tells losers Matt, Sue, Lee and Flick: “You are leaving immediately for Exile Beach.” What! They won’t return until tribal council. So it’s a mini version of Exile Island. It’s a twist that will probably see Matt voted out, as the outcasts what have time to band together – unless someone stands up at council and does the “I’m voting Brooke” thing.
The next part of the challenge involves crawling across a wildly rocking bridge ladder. JL, Brooke and El make it and most then try and knock balls into baskets with a giant stick. And JL wins! Now she’s guaranteed some camera time. Well done.


At Exile Beach
Matt, Sue, Lee and Flick arrive at Exile Beach to find this sign: “You have been exiled but just within reach, immunity is hidden here at Exile Beach … You have until sundown.”
Does this spark a Cagayan-style idol scramble? Seems unlikely. Flick does a lot of talking about how idols just make people targets and seems to have convinced everyone not to look for it. Unlike Exile Island is Survivor seasons past, this beach seems well supplied with coconuts and shade and they’ve been given what looks to be machete and flint.
Flick and Lee have a quick chat about who their alliance could be voting for. Flick: “What do you think?” Lee: (Silence.) Flick: “What did El say?” Lee: “Matt.”
Come on, Lee, it’s Survivor – you have to strategise at some time.
Back at camp they fool Kylie and Kristie into thinking Sue is going, even though why on earth would you get rid of Sue so early when she’s not a challenge threat? Sure, if she makes it all the way to the end she could win but they still have the numbers and Sue has shown she’s not one to build her own alliances.


Tribal Council
The winners enter and then the exiles. I wish the exiles had played with everyone’s minds by rocking up wearing yellow fabric bracelets, but it was not to be.
The first member of the jury, Nick, enters, and he looks very different clean shaven and about 10 years younger.


JLap’s questions tonight are pretty much a rehash of everything Nick said at the previous tribal council about who’s on top.
And then the questions turn to morality and values, which is where Australian Survivor is differing greatly to US Survivor.
Sue: “I always pull myself back because my family are watching and I don’t want to be a bad example to children and my grandchildren.”
I really hope we get a second season of Australian Survivor because we’d get some very differently gameplay.

The votes
We see Sue vote for Kylie and vice versa. Sue, Sue, Kylie, Sue, Kylie, Kylie, Kylie, Kylie and it’s Kylie.
She’s gracious in her exit.

Next time: JL tries to make a move with Kristie. Yes!
And: A grinning Kylie tells the camera she knew she was going and says Brooke is in charge and there needs to be an uprising: “You’ve got to start to play at some stage,” says the person who repeatedly ignored opportunities to do just that.



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Australian Survivor – Sun, Sept 18


The way Channel 10 are promoting it the poor ole yellow tribe will be back at tribal council tomorrow night (Sunday). I would say the whole “Phoebe makes a move” thing is a misdirect, but up until now there promos have not tried to trick us at all.
In other Survivor news, I’ve heard a disturbing rumour that Channel 9 is going to air the upcoming season of US Survivor (Millennials V Gen X) – yeah, it IS a silly name) not on GO, as per usual. It will reportedly air on the flagship Nine channel but A WHOLE WEEK AFTER it screens in the US and at about 10.30pm at night. Yesterday I tweeted and posted a query about this on Facebook but Channel 9 has not responded.
I am hoping it’s all a terrible mistake.

It’s day 26 and everyone is looking gaunt, scruffy and exhausted.
At blue everyone is knackered because Firey Kylie did not want to make room in the shelter or something-or-other. It apparently escalated and it looks like no-one got any sleep. She tries to apologise the next morning but it turns into one of those “I’m sorry but it’s actually everyone else’s fault” moments. Oh, Kylie. You’ve upset Magic Matt, which is not good. Strangely we don’t get a to-camera piece from Nick about this. He’s not the narrator this episode.
At yellow Conner is worried about being out of the loop on the Andrew blindside, and whether Kate is still loyal to the core yellow alliance as she flipped to join Phoebe and Kristie (as well as Craig) in the voteout.
They go for a swim and Kate has a little breakdown. With anyone else you’d be worried she was bunging it on but Coma Kate just has that innate honesty about her.


Conner awkwardly pats her arm. They discuss targeting Phoebe next and the everyone – well, everyone who is not Phoebe and Kristie – at least seems cool with it.
Poor Craig is still looking for the hidden immunity idol, which is actually in Phoebe’s bag. Phoebs knows she is still in trouble, so tries buddying up to Conner. Conner, supposedly a huge Survivor fan, outright tells her that he has sworn loyalty to the others but, if she lasts, they could work together in the future. CONNER! You just smile and say yes, then rush back and tell your alliance so they know who aren’t doing deals. And when she asks to be told if she’s being voted out, just say yes. You can lie!

At blue Lee and Spidey Sam continue their bromance, bonding over their ineptitude with a fishing spear. The girls are sunbaking, admiring the view of Lee fishing.
(And here’s a shot for you, Windong


Magic Matt tells Brooke in not so many words she’s a flibbertyjibbet whose head is easily turned. Brooke is not happy and reckons he’s just jealous now he’s not the “man” of the tribe. It could be, or it could be the fact you guys are lying on the beach while there is no firewood and there are jobs to do around camp. Plus Matt is so pasty he could burst into flames if the sunlight touches his skin, so he can’t just loll on the beach.
Brooke starts thinking she needs a new alliance with non-ghost white people, and likes the look of Lee and Army Corporal El.
Things we still need an update on: Kate’s armpit puss and what wild animal has killed those released chickens.

Challenge time
Come on through, says JLap, mixing it up from Jeff’s come on in, guys. Blue team is surprised to see Andrew was voted out.
Kate says yellow, which has been on such as losing streak, is bringing the fire – a whole bonfire. She needs to be on a Brawn tribe with Lee, Kylie and Spidey Sam – she’d fit right in.
The challenge is a variation on the use a catapult to toss a bag challenge, but it’s more of a heptathlon using coloured coconuts. There’s a bit of volleyball action in there, dodgeball and balance beam work. The end section is a giant Connect Four type board – but with five.
Yet again blues are guns at the challenge while scrappy lil Conner tries hardest up against them but falls in the mud a coupla times. But then he doesn’t listen to Sue calling where to place the coconut, so that will cause angst. Yellow should have had Craig throwing rather than defending so they could get more coconuts over the “net”.

Back at yellow camp Conner is devo, blaming himself for the loss. The core alliance decides Phoebe should go home. They don’t even discuss a split. And then Conner goes and tells Phoebe it’s her. Nooooo! He tells the others what he’s done and they all agree it’s unlikely Phoebe has an idol. Why are they so sure? Then they tell Kristie they are all voting for Phoebe and she herself is safe. Kristie tears up a bit – awesome acting job, Kristie! And then she pretends to go and console Phoebe on the beach when actually they are both grinning like maniacs. So, who will the target? Craig’s the obvious threat but they need him for challenges.
They even have a chat about how to spell Phoebe’s name – a conversation which must happen a lot but we don’t really see it. I know they still won’t get it right, though.
Will Phoebe triumph is is this all just a misdirect by the editors and they are splitting the vote after all?
Australian Survivor isn’t sticking to the US rulebook but, let’s say the core – thinking that Phoebe didn’t have an idol – put two votes on Phoebe and two on Kristie, and the girls put two on Sue in turn. If the tie is deadlocked, those voted for can no longer vote. This would leave Craig, Conner and Kate in charge of the vote and they could vote out who they want. If they used the same 2-2-2 strategy and Phoebe played the idol, they could use their greater numbers to vote out Kristie on the revote. Just thinking on the fly here as I watch and type, so I may be wrong. I hope we at least get to see a fire-starter tiebreaker at some stage this season, because they are such fun.


At tribal council
They chat with JLap about how losing sucks and how they all are fairly sure who’s going home, which sucks because they are all friends yadda yadda … No one mentions how Kristie is rocking a side braid and looks like one of the lost children from Mad Max 3 in her brown shapeless outfit.
Craig writes “Pheobe” and so now I kinda hope it’s him the girls target because he cannot spell. We don’t see who the girls vote for – maybe it’s Conner, because he’s had a lot of airtime.
JLap is about to read the votes but Phoebe does the “umm, Jonathon …” and hands over the idol. Craig is a shattered man and Phoebe is grinning with delight – as she should be.
Only one of the four of them spells Phoebe correctly – they all deserve to go. And it’s Craig going home!
Well played, Phoebe and Kristie. Sad to see Craig go, though – he’s been great TV. He gives everyone a hug – even those who voted them out. He tell yellow one of them has to win the whole shebang. Bye, Craig!


Next time: Sue wants Phoebe gone but then we see footage of Phoebe (or Pheb’s, as Sue writes her name – urgh – kill me now over that apostrophe) telling Sue that Kristie knew all along she had an idol. Not cool, Pheb’s. We don’t see footage of yellow losing yet another challenge.

And Craig is calm and philosophical in his final to camera piece: “Bitch stole my idol, but, hey …”



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The Bold and the Beautiful

Over to delightful Daisy for the August Bold thread …
Hi Again B&B fans (and not so fans). I suspect you are all feeling peeved and frustrated at the Forresters’ inability to stay out of trouble. Of course it would help if any of them would marry outside of the immediate family, but we can expect the barn dance to continue as they swing their partners and dosey do back to another brother or sister’s wife or husband. Of course it’s the ridiculous cycle of life in LA. Well, at Forrester creations and Spencer Publications.
This months we commence with Wyatt and Stephie discovering they were married by a con man, and Katy declaring her love for Bill and Brooke, and pledging alliegance to her family. This leaves Bill and Brooke with a dilemma as they were just planning a life together, again. One where Brooke doesn’t hide under the bed.
So I think we can predict that Stephie will wrestle with her emotions, while Wyatt and Liam will fight for her love. But in good old B&B fashion, she will love them both. More people will discover the (not so) secret of Douglas’s paternity. And Katy might find Bill and Brooke hiding together in the shower, but they will claim to be putting her interests first and saving water.
One day our grandchildren might watch young Douglas marry or fight it out in the boardroom or bedroom with Rick and Maya’s…or is that Nicole’s baby. Feel free to predict or rewrite your B&B plot.

Brooke is now 1000 years old and has been married 34 times, but you'd never know it.
Brooke is now 1000 years old and has been married 34 times, but you’d never know it.



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