Tag: Beardies

MKR Wed – semi final 2

It’s semi final 2, with Beardies versus Mum and Daughter.
The final starts Sunday at 7.45pm and goes for 135 minutes!!! There will be ads galore, so flick over to Doctor Who on the ABC or House Hunters on 9Life.


Manu has donned his favourite bedspread for the challenge, the black double-breasted brocadey number. Ugh. 1/10 for you, Manu.

Beardies Tim and Kyle are making a classic entree: scallops with celeriac puree and pancetta. I wish Brown Beard would ask Amy and Tyson how to pronounce celeriac properly, because I figure they and Pete are the only people in the room who know it’s sell-air-ee-ack, not salary-ack. Main is confit duck with coffee pumpkin – ooh, interesting! Tim announces he is making dessert and Brown Beard channels Bachelor Richie with “cool bananas”. Hot on the heels of his success with his trio of mousses, when he thought all three would suck, he is making another mousse. This time it’s chocolate stout mousse with a brownie and coffee syrup. So, two dishes with coffee? A good idea to perk the judges up given how long it can take to film these three-dish episodes.
Valerie and Other Courtney’s entree is peppered chicken livers with fennel and tomato chutney. Smart – the judges do love their offal. Main is oxtail stew with pickled onion mash and eggplant kasundi (a type of relish). Dessert is cardamom dumplings with saffron creme anglaise. Hmm – could be a bit heavy after the main. Coles has supplied Valerie with whole oxtail so she has to smash a cleaver with a rolling pin to slice it up. Hard work!
Bring SA boys the Beardies are using Coopers Stout for their dessert but Tim is not happy with his mousse so remakes it.
Mum is mixing the spices into the livers bare handed – she is never going to the turmeric out of her nails!
Everyone’s a bit flustered – Tim over-reduces his soz and, smelling burning from somewhere, Valerie flicks open the pressure cooker valve too early.


The boys decide to smoke their puree for their entree, so the MKR editors start playing reggae music. Whatever are they implying?


Brown Beard is leaving it late to cook his 40 scallops. They are a quick cook but fiddly. By the end of it he is flicking scallops out of the scalding hot frypan with his bare hands! Ouchies! Their plating is not as pretty as it should be.

The judges taste
The judges like the flavours but there’s not much on the plate, and the presentation could be better. It’s middle of the road.
They love Mum and Daughter’s liver dish. “It awakens the palate,” says Karen. Manu has polished off all of his entree.

Tim is roasting pumpkin for his puree and – take note, Hashtagger Betty – he has chopped it into small chunks so it cooks on quickly #SoLongBetty
They are tipping the equivalent of a short black into their puree. We get several minutes’ footage of Valerie umming and aarghing over whether her oxtail is ready, while dramatic music plays. It is NOT that exciting, MKR editors! Just show more footage of Brown Beard burning himself and going *bleep*.
The boys’ dish looks much prettier this time round.

The judges taste
Liz (The Other One) says Beardies have redeemed themselves. Colin loves the duck and the coffee pumpkin puree is clever.
Guy raves about the oxtail stew and Liz also likes it but Colin thinks there is too much cinnamon and cardamom. On the sidelines, Amy and Tyson agree with Colin, so it must be true.

An hour has passed and we have only just reached dessert cooking time. Urgh – Sundays final is going to be excruciating. The most interesting moment is when Amy makes a comment from the sidelines and Tim absentmindedly calls her “darling”. So the reports of them dating must be true.
Kyle starts bashing up pretzels to sprinkle on their somewhat dry-looking brownies and kudos to the MKR music editors for playing the Seinfeld theme music in the background.


Valerie and Courtney’s looks pretty much like gulab jamun – basically balls of sugar-soaked dough – with a saffron custard. Courtney complains the anglaise isn’t thickening but she has it all in one giant pot. #Dontbeabetty. Split it into two pots, Other Cout! That’s two soft, sweet elements on the plate and no textural element. Oh, they’ve put a tiny sprinkle of nuts on, and some passionfruit coulis and fresh mango to give some tartness.
The boys’ dessert doesn’t look that impressive, either. Chunks of cake aren’t really a finals-type dish.


The judges taste
They pull a few faces when tasting the bitter stout in the mousse. Guy says it’s a good brownie. Karen says she “surprisingly” enjoyed the dessert. Liz slams them for using pre-brought pretzels but Karen defends the Beardies and says it’s on trend, but she’s overruled by Guy. “It’s not a dealbreaker,” says Colin. Guy says it’s not hard to make your own pretzels. Umm, I found several recipes online that say it takes 2 hours to rest the dough and an hour to cook. So, no, Mr Grossi – just no. Yes, Liz, they could have done a salted bickie crumb instead.
Karen loves the Indian dessert but Guy and Colin find it too sweet. Liz likes it.

The scores

Beardies
Liz 7 Karen 8 Guy 8 Colin 7 Manu 8 Pete 8 Total 46
OMG – the girls are going to win!

Valerie and Courtney
Liz 9 Karen 9 Guy 8 Colin 8 Manu 8 Pete 8 Total 50

Well, that was a surprise but well done, ladies. Tim and Kyle shouldn’t have too much trouble getting a media gig or a job spruiking for Barbeques Galore or similar. Nice to have some blokes in the comp who weren’t dicks and who could cook.



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