* I don’t like country music but that band was tight.
* I’m surprised they didn’t dress her in cowboy boots and denim; she looked liked Sandy at the end of Grease.
* I love how inappropriately dressed the girls were for the Tough Mudder challenge. Did they ask then to wear white?
* Judging from Olena’s reaction to the mozzie on her shoulder, she needs to go on I’m a Celeb next year.
* Love how Mean Girl Rachel thinks being awesome at a climbing a wall is how to get Richie’s attention; everyone knows the girls who are rubbish/cry/twist their ankles get the most Bachie attention because otherwise they look like douches.
* Finally, we get to see a sense of humour from Olena after the mudpit: “Then you can check yourself for any leeches that are sucking your blood away.”
* Richie was right: A bottle of water tipped over her face transformed Olena from mud monster to elegant model in a second.
* Boy, Rachel is competitive. But I guess we do need to have a snarky narrator and she can at least string a sentence together.
* So, at this stage I believe Keira is the only person to go on a single date and not get a rose.
* Are there any potential Bachelorettes in this season? Nikki is not outgoing off; Alex too stalkery; viewers wouldn’t warm to Kiki; Olena too aloof. Rachel too mean; and Steph is a nonentity. Hmm, maybe Faith? She’s vivacious enough but we haven’t seen much of her.
* At the cocktail party Steph is again going for the 2am at a nightclub look. Her hair looks incredible brittle.
* Can someone please teach the girls the correct phrase is “so few people”.
* Awww, poor teary Faith at the cocktail party. She seems like a nice gel.
* No white rose drama tonight.
* We didn’t get to see any of Rachel’s convo with Richie at the cocktail party. Are they trying to hide a growing relationship from the edit.
* Those dresses Nikki and Olena picked were not flattering.
* OMG he kept Steph AKA Jeanne Little’s granddaughter.
* Given Kiki was the only original left he hadn’t pashed, it’s no surprise Richie kept Faith. It was a gracious exit from her. Perhaps it was a case of Richie deciding it was easier not to draw out the Kiki thing when they were clearly not suited.
Tomorrow night
Hamish Blake crashes Faith and Richie’s single date and is their toddler for the night. This should be good. Like Richie’s old man date with Sam last season, they’ve picked a girl whom they know will be up for a bit of fun.
Tonight White Rose wielder Alex finally gets a date and the girls get a fake baby challenge. Luckily they are already used to tanties of the grown-up variety.
Week 3 already! Will Richie ditch the few remaining brunettes tonight? Eliza, Bacon Girl and Georgia had better lay low.
Chat away but, as always, check out mamamia.com.au later for Rosie Waterland’s Bachie recaps.
Well, here we go again. It seems like just yesterday Guy Bachie Sam was snogging Snez and Richie was on an old person date with Girl Bachie Sam …
Richie the rope access technician is back as The Bachelor and, supposedly, he also found love thanks to the series.
Offspring fans won’t be happy that Nina has been bumped to a later timeslot but Channel 10 knows they will tune in anyway, so is hoping a few will be caught in the Bachie trap.
How many minutes in will it be before we spot our first loony?
Honestly, gice, Rosie Waterland does best Bachie recaps going (you can read them at Mamamia here or on her Facebook page – and she’s much naughtier than me), but since this is the premiere I’m giving it a crack anyway. Plus I’ve roped in Mr Juz to watch with me.
RECAP BEGINS
My recording catches the last few minutes of The Project and Richie is on, spruiking his show with self-depreciating humour.
“I’m surprised I’m wearing a shirt right now,” he tells The Project panellists. And follows it up with a shout out to some mates who are battling cancer. I do like Richie.
We start with Osher walking through the grounds of the Bachie mansion and the number of fairy lights there could be the reason South Australia is having trouble getting the power supply it needs from the east coast. He reminds us Bachie Sam found true love last year with Snezana.
Mr Juz: Oh, that’s right – Schnitzel.
Me: They actually called her Parmigiana. (Then I have to explain to him there was a girl Sam on the Bachelorette and a boy Sam on the Bachelor, because his brain is about to explode.)
So, less than two minutes in Richie already has his shirt off. We’re reminded he’s 30 and a rope access technician on an oil rig. We get flashbacks to the Sam Frost season – I did love that episode where they dressed up as oldies – and there’s a bit of Richie looking sad. But then he’s riding a motorbike and everything’s fine again and he loves his mum and his sister, as shown in some super awkward scenes of them pretending to carry out normal life at home, while coincidentally dressed in their best outfits.
The same sound techs who score MasterChef must do Bachie as there is a lot of very loud music.
Here come the girls
Megan is 27, rides a skateboard and dives. They’re setting her up as a bit of a fave.
Noni is 25 and has Balinese heritage. She’s a swimwear designer and I like her (despite the dreadful bacon tattoo because she’s the one from promo who gives Richie bacon roses and says “Don’t go bacon my heart”. Surely a bloke whose fave phrase is “cool bananas” will appreciate the humour.
Marja, 34 (pronounced Marcia) teaches yoga and is from Bondi – of course. Good to see not all the contestants are blonde white chicks.
Children’s entertainer Janey is passionate about rainbows and unicorns.
Mr Juz: She’s a nutter.
Georgia, 24, is an artist and a self-described alpha female. She likes ripped jeans and floppy hats.
At the mansion, Richie has arrived and meets the first contestant, Nikki. She has a very sparkly, very low cut dress with a super high front split.
Mr Juz: What’s for breakfast, Nikki? (Apparently this makes sens because you can almost see her lunch).
Nikki is happy Richie is the Bachie.
Here comes Megan the skater girl and she’s from WA, so that works in her favour.
Mr Juz: She sounds like my dream girl: nature, camping, the ocean. (Says the man who doesn’t like walking on the beach barefoot).
As she walks off Megan whispers to Richie: “You smell good by the way.” After she leaves he exhales: “Ah, turn it up.”
Here comes children’s entertainer Janey in a suitably princess-y dress. She is talking like a little girl and is all breathy. And in her to-camera piece she acts like a little girl who just got a pony.
Mr Juz: I’m embarrassed for her.
She deliberately leaves a glittery stripped shoe behind and it takes Richie forever to twig it’s a deliberate Cinderella moment.
Is she an actress who’s been cast to add drama?
A few girls get the quick edit but Eliza gets the slow, slinky music to match her plunging black dress. She says she wrote a song for him (despite not knowing Richie was the Bachie). She is very off key.
Mr Juz: Fast forward.
She does a high five that ends with a bum slap. Hmmm … Awkward.
Alex, 24, is from the Mornington Peninsula (what’s with all these 24 year olds who are desperate to find love?) and while nervous, has a natural vibe. “I’m bloody nervous,” she tells him, then reads him a poem. Richie seems to like her.
Keira loves the TV limelight.
We whip through a few more girls and then in comes Keira, 29, who’s been cast as the villain. “I’ve pretty much got the whole package,” she tells the camera.
Mr Juz: She smoked a joint before she had the interview.
“So, what turns you on Keira,” asks Richie, and they both crack up at the awkwardness of the question. In the mansion they show her
Here’s Noni with her bacon roses. “That was awesome,” he says of her one liner.
Massage therapist Vintaea, 25 is keeping things simple. “I won’t be walking in on my hands or anything.” She greets Richie and asks: “Shitting, yourself? … F—ing great.” Then says she needs to cut back on the swearing. Then in the next to-camera interview says “Thank f—. He’s got good alignment with his teeth. He’s a good size and I’d probably eat that face.”
Mr Juz: We’re definitely watching the Australian version.
Yeah, she’s not going to last.
She’s f—in’ gone.
Olena, 23, is a makeup artist and she speaks to him in Ukrainian. “I do like to attack with the eyes,” she says of her dating strategy. It seems to work. “Olena is a total babe. She is very mysterious. Her eyes really draw me in,” says Richie. She has told him a quote in her native language that she will translate later on.
Keira is definitely playing the villain, critiqueing the bad singer and the others’ dresses: “Look at this chick … like, hello, we can see your undies, girl.”
Kiki is another one getting an edit with blunt comments.
That’s the 22 girls introduced.
Inside the mansion
Osher explains the holder of the white rose will get one-on-one time with Richie each episode and some of them look ready to stab each other to get it.
Richie has barely sat down when Noni the Bacon Lover steals him away. Some throw daggers but one girl rightly says: “I feel like we all kind of wish like we were her.” Rachael, who looks a lot like high-maintenance Emily from Sam Wood’s season, is a dab hand at pulling faces watching Richie chat to other girls. Definite Mean Girls territory.
Call me Regina George.
After a while Nikki of the super white hair breaks up the party and she’s also from WA and is close to her family. And now Noni is egging on the Russian (?) girl to steal him.
Richie is apparently surprised the girls are all attacking him for one-on-one time.
Poem reader Alex tells Richie she has a five-year-old son but before he can really react another contestant seagulls in. Is she the new Snez?
Artist Georgia reckons the girls’ behaviour is over the top and very priary schoolish. Villain Keira decides it’s time to try for the white rose. “Just in time!” she yells at him.
My Juz: Is she drunk already?
On the sidelines, Rachael is uttering more catty comments.
Richie actually apologises to her for asking what turns her on earlier. “I would say the white rose would turn me on,” she tells him.
The others send one of the tall blondes (Tiffany) in as a sacrificial lamb to break up the Keira fest, too scared to do it themselves in case Keira whips off her choker and uses it to throttle someone. Keira is looking a bit Bingle to me – I do like that she doesn’t have the crazy hair extensions of some of the others.
“I clearly want friends but at the same time – whatevs,” she tells the other girls.
Eliza is shown acting like a loon – she’s either doing an episode-long improv or she is nuts. Nikki is kind and says she marches to the beat of her own drum. She challenges Richie and the others to a plank-off but then is the first one out. Training administrator Tiffany is doing a great job in the plank department and it pays off – Richie gives her a rose (just the red one).
Regina George’s face drops: “I felt that there was other girls that had a strong connection.”
The editors are loving having Vintaea there so they can bleep out every word: “Oh my god, I’ve never had boobs this big,” she tells the princess. Has she not seen the show before? Perhaps she needs to try Farmer Wants a Wife instead.
Janey is feeling like a loser because Richie hasn’t returned her Cinderalla shoe. Yeah, Janey, there definitely weren’t producers there telling him to string it out.
Eventually skater/surfer girl Megan (a bit of a Hawko lookalike) goes in for a chat and he likes that he’s kicked her shoes off. The mesmerising Ukrainian tries to swoop in but Richie tells her to hold up while he gives Megan a rose.
But he does come back for Olena and gets her to explain her quote.
The girls are getting antsy that he hasn’t given out the white rose. It would be cool if he gave it someone who already had a red rose and said “swapsies”. I reckon he’s going for the single mum. Mr Juz disagrees. It IS Alex, who’s been panicking every since their convo about her being a mum was cut short.
In the background Keira rolls her eyes: “Strategic.”
Regina Georges is totes jelly: “I’m not congratulating her either.” Ouch. Yep, the real villain – Keira’s a decoy.
Last season Girl Sam gave the white rose to the guy she ended up with, while Boy Sam gave to Cool Chick Heather.
Rose ceremony time
Osher is so sad and serious because after Richie rejects three chicks he has to take them out the back and make them watch old clips of him is his Andrew G Australian Idol days until they claw their eyes out.
A few unknowns get roses and then Swear Bear Vintaea steps up to Richie before her name is called. “This rose ceremony just got cray-cray,” says cray-cray crooner Eliza. Ooh – she’s going to pike. “I realise this just isn’t for me,” she tells Richie. Good on her for not being in it just to “win” at all costs. The others are stoked to have less competition.
Tiny princess Janey is talking a lot about her ever-after love. Mr Juz: “I’m really worried for her. This could ruin her emotionally.” She gets a rose.
They usually film these premiere episodes over two days and Russian Sasha is obviously pretty hungry as she starts nibbling her rose.
The final three girls are two perfectly pleasant nobodies and Keira, so you know who’s getting it. Producers’ pick?
Aimee and Natalie are gone.
Tomorrow night
There are two solo dates and a retro photo shoot.
Here are the Bachelorettes vying for Richie’s heart. My, that’s a lot of boobage there. An article on news.com.au gives you the lowdown on each contestant here
They are aged 23 to 31.
I quite like the answer of massage therapist Vintea, 25:
Why did you apply? “I didn’t have a high school formal so I thought I could finally get the chance to wear a gorgeous dress. Kidding! I wanted to put myself out there, challenge myself to see if I could do it.”
Why should Richie choose you? “I am pretty honest and upfront so I feel that is good point of myself. I’m ambitious, hardworking, kind, strong and smart.”
Channel 10 has announced the new Bachelor and it’s …. drum roll … Richie!
Yep, Richie the rope access technician who didn’t win Sam’s heart – despite being hilarious on the date where they donned old person makeup – and who we all thought was not polished enough to be cast as the next Bachie.
Hopefully having done the show once he’ll calm down a bit and be less nervous.
btw his Insta feed directs enquiries to a modelling agency, which offers this info:
HEIGHT: 6’2″ / 187CM HAIR: BLOND EYE: BLUE CHEST: 41½”/106CM WAIST: 33″ /84CM COLLAR: 16½”/41C
So if any sewing enthusiasts want to whip him up a shirt, you now have his measurements.
Fans of The Bachie, or just reality TV in general, need to check out UnREAL. It’s an American black comedy/drama set around filming of a Bachelor-style show, called Everlastingg. The cast includes the great Constance Zimmer (Entourage, House of Cards) and Sheri Applebay, who I best remember from Roswell.
While it’s fictional it’s written by people who’ve worked on the Bachelor and I learnt a lot about how the show is made by watching. It’s one of IT Sidekick’s faves at the mo.
It’s showing on SBS2 and you can catch up online at SBS On Demand. Sheri and Constance
Ever wanted to be trapped in a house with 20 other women, competing to see who can wear the sparkliest, most cleavage-enhancing evening gown? Here’s your chance to make that dream a reality: The Bachelor is casting for its 2016 season. You need to hurry, though, as applications close January 29.
The website says they want single women aged 22-35 and single blokes 27-35. Does this mean they don’t have a Bachie lined up yet, or are they scoping out talent for another season of The Bachelorette?
On the US series the Bachie is usually a rejected suitor from a past season of The Bachelorette, but the pickings from the Australia’s first season are slim. Richie was a bit of a larrikin but not as TV savvy as the others (plus he’s been photographed lately chilling with ex-Big Brother housemate Tully Smyth). And the shine seems to be off runner-up Michael.
The casting website says filming starts in about March and can take three months, so clear your calendars. The sections on the application form are:
Introduction
Applicant
Your Profile
Employment
Family And Friends
Relationships
Future Partner
Life
Medical/Background
Clothing
The Show
Photos
Terms
Hmm, clothing? Is there a minimum sequin quota per garment? The mind boggles. Full details of the casting process are at https://thebachelors4.castasugar.com
Would you go on a reality show to find love? We know it’s worked for some of The Farmer Wants a Wife couples and Sam Frost and Sasha Mielczarek.
