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brain dead dave

Can Lezzo Loz turn Matthew from virgin to swinging threesomes dominant sex beast in one week? He’s walked into Frankenfurter’s mansion tonight.

This is one hell of an “experiment”….on Matthew’s sanity. Will Ch 9 provide a rock for him to crawl under? His world has been rocked by tonight’s revelations.


Meanwhile, has Ines tried to kill Bronson in his sleep yet?


Was Matthew learning how to put on a fitted sheet a phallic symbol?

If he can learn to make a bed, he can probably learn how to sleep top to toe to top.

Matthew reminds me of a certain guy from FWAW who discovered the vice-like pain of rtv and the ruthlessness of producers and fame whores.


It is the morning after and the producers first job is to determine who has *cough* taken it to a new level of intimacy. With their rumpled sheets and tossled hair Cam and Jules have done the deed. The producers pretending this is My Kitchen Rules ask Jules and Cam to rate each other. We learn that Cam only preforms to the sound of leather on willow in the background.

We move on to ex-virgin Matt and ex- lesbian Loz. Lauren is dropping more hints than Hansel and Greta dropping breadcrumbs that she wants to be handcuffed to the bed and sweet, sweet love made to her (oh and maybe a threesome, join a swingers club, have Red Room of Pain installed and purchase a leather whip…) Matthew not understanding the word ‘dominant’ shudders and physically recoils from Loz. He wanted a blow up doll not someone who has desires.

The producers then move to Mark and Ning. Ning has set boundaries in the bed. Another inch and Mark will be on the floor. For his big date, Mark takes Ning to the gym to do a PT session. Ning so unimpressed with Mark’s day job starts an argument. Ning not understanding that she has dissed Mark’s job and Mark not willing to apologise, Mark removes his ring and Ning sobs that she has been abandoned again.

Sam decides that the only way to shut Elizabeth up is to play ‘vroom, vroom’ here comes the aeroplane as he shoves strawberries and nutella in her mouth. He can’t wait to be in the icy embrace of Ines.

S-expert John advice to couples in a domestic abuse situation is to cook a meal. Bronson lives to see another day as Coles run out of snake venom to lace the spaghetti bolognese with. Ines practically shoves Bronson out the door so we can witness an awkward interlude of Sam and Ines pretending to be into each other.

Cyrell labels Nic a racist as he requests that she dresses as a French maid and cook him a traditional Filipino meal. Capitalising on his ignorance, presents him a mystery box entree, main and dessert. Nic will never eat Filipino again.


Ta Maz. We need to start a new drinking game, for every time we see a Cadbury product


Thanks, Maz. Hmmm. Sneaky Cadburys. I’m more of a Lindt girl myself.