MAFS Mon – intruder alert

Tonight two new couples tie the night, but let’s just use reality TV lingo and call them the intruders.
Now the Sam/Ines/Bronson/Elizabeth drama is over it’s time to inject fresh tension into the series – well, until Cyrelle’s next convenient blow-up.

As much as we whinge about the staged aspects of the show and the sheer awfulness of some contestants, it’s a ratings winner for Nine.


In the wake of such ratings perhaps MKR really change the way it structures its 2020 series, instead of just promising us changes and then delivering exactly the same show, with contestants who can barely cook a toastie.

As we saw in the promo, blonde Susie is a single mum looking for love. Her child is named – wait for it – Baby. Please discuss.



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Maz
Maz

Another stand over merchant in the form of the father of the bride.

Maz

Father of The Bride complains the Groom has not shaved properly. Yet he turns up in a rumpled shirt and seems to have difficulty doing his tie up.

brain dead dave

Slept in the park after a three day bender….more Hungover than Hungarian….

brain dead dave

Wouldn’t surprise if he’d been recently incarcerated. Just going on the hairstyle.

Windsong

“Her child is named – wait for it – Baby. Please discuss.”

I already don’t like her.

Von

“Noboby puts Baby….”

Sorry, could not stop myself.

brain dead dave

“A dingo took me Baby!”

Couldn’t stop meself, either.

brain dead dave

“Hasta La Vista, Baby!”

Maz

Hit me Baby one more time…

brain dead dave

Baby’s On Fire

Daisy

“Don’t call me Baby”.

Maz

OMG…It is dumb meets dumber. Billy learns that Susie is short for Susanna.

S: What is your favourite number?
B: Oooh, 21.

brain dead dave

I’m staggered that Billy didn’t say “69”……

Von

What is your favourite number? What the hell kind of stupid question is that? Are they 10 years old?

I’ve never watched this show, and have no inclination to do so, but that question gave me a big laugh.

Maz

The question beats, “What is your favourite colour?”

brain dead dave

” I dunno, darl, the colour of beer, I reckon”

Windsong

See, I like that one, myself.

A close friend of mine took his own life, last year. And right when I was climbing out of the car to head into his funeral, I suddenly realised, I didn’t know what his favourite colour was. I’d known him for four years, and I couldn’t tell you. And I’d never get the chance to ask him.

And that thought alone made me sadder than I could bear.

Anyway, sorry. MAFS, right?

Daisy

😢😢😢😢😢 My best friend in uni did that too. Too nice for this world.

Sara

How can the blonde keep her eyes open with those hideous eyelashes. The father made a real effort didn’t he – looks as if he came straighr from the op shop

Maz

Dan on Tamara’s reaction to learning he has a child, “She was very inviting about it.”

brain dead dave

Steely Dan.

Sara

The dad is pissed

brain dead dave
Daisy

Remember a few years ago when they used to have relatively normal types on this show and they talked about relationships. It was never highbrow, but it’s wasn’t the cesspit it’s become. Now it’s all supersize me lips, boobs, eyelashes and egos. Even the already nauseating panel of sexperts have degenerated furthur into a team of voyeurs who goad the cast to have sex on tv.

brain dead dave

Makes you wonder what the stupid sexperts will try next. Will they try to match a paedophile with an octogenarian?

Windsong

You joke, but if channel 9 thought it would be good for ratings…

Daisy

I was more thinking that they would put them in a room with glass walls to have sex in front of everyone. They almost did that (was it?) last year when they made a couple undergo touching therapy because the guy hadn’t had sex. It was the girl who ended up dating the Will Farrel guy.

Maz

Think SBS screens that show-S-ex Box.

Maz

The creepy therapy session with Trish was Ice Cream King Justin and Carly.

Daisy

Yes. Perfect recall, Maz.

brain dead dave

Apply for Hard Quiz, Maz.

brain dead dave

Touch therapy, AC/DC style. Lyrics~ Bon Scott

“Touch Too Much”

It was one of those nights when you turn off the lights
And everythin’ comes into view
She was takin’ her time I was losin my mind
There was nothin’ that she wouldn’t do
It wasn’t the first, it wasn’t the last
She knew we was makin’ love
I was so satisfied, deep down inside
Like a hand in a velvet glove
Seems like a touch, a touch too much
Seems like a touch, a touch too much
Too much for my body
Too much for my brain
This damn woman’s gonna drive me insane
She got a touch
A touch too much

She had the face of an angel smilin’ with sin
The body of Venus with arms
Dealin’ with danger strokin’ my skin
Like a thunder and lightnin’ storm
It wasn’t the first, it wasn’t the last
It wasn’t that she didn’t care
She wanted it hard, wanted it fast
She liked it done medium rare
Seems like a touch, a touch too much
Seems like a touch, a touch too much
Too much for my body
Too much for my brain
This damn woman’s gonna drive me insane
She had a touch
A touch too much
Touch me
Seems like a touch (touch too much)
You know it’s much too much (much too much)
I really wanna feel ya (touch too much)
Girl you know you’re giving me (much too much)
Seems like a touch
Just a dirty little touch
I really need your touch
Cause you’re much too much too much too much
Seems like a touch (a touch too much)
Seems like a touch (a touch too much)
Givin’ me a touch (a touch too much)
Lay me down and touch (a touch too much)
Seems like a touch (a touch too much)
Seems like a touch (a touch too much)
A touch too much, a touch too much, a touch too much
Touch
Come on and touch me
Yeah

Daisy

Okay. Now I am worrying that old men all over Australia, are watching mafs with their pants unzipped.

Windsong

I had a dirty joke prepared there about the three idiots, but I just couldn’t commit to it.

Instead, I faked a funeral and fled the country. Apparently that’s the happening thing to do.

Daisy

Good Lord,
Him: “Would you like a Sauvignon blanc?”
Her: “No, I think I will have a white”.
Probably used to tequilla slammers.

Bobi

Let’s get back to the real issue here: what sort of self-obsessed, narcissistic, tone-deaf idiot calls their child Baby.
And let’s just think about this for a minute. At no time has she given consideration to her own offspring that she is supposed to love and care for – this girl will never be able to apply for a job with any responsibility, will never be thought of as intelligent, is destined for a career as a masseuse or a prostitute, and whose mother will continue to infatilazise her until her own death.
With one crass decision that is more about her and her need to be the centre of attention, she has doomed this poor little girl to a lifetime of defending a decision that was not her own.
I hope when she is older, that her daughter sues her for damages. Mistake. Big, big mistake.

Daisy

And her nickname will be Babe. Nooooooooo…

brain dead dave

Foetus or Embryo might work.

Maz

Unfortunately, these days people can’t distinguish between a familiar nickname that remains firmly in childhood and their narcissistic need to bestow their child a ‘unique’ name.

Maybe, Australia should be like some Nordic countries which refuses to register names that will cause a child crippling embarrassment in the future.

Perhaps its time to start a GoFundMe campaign for Baby to change her name by deed poll.

Windsong

I was thinking, when this kid is 12 or 13, and dealing with the environment of bullying and casual abuse that is high school … how the hell is she going to cope with the name “Baby”?

That is tantamount to child abuse. All because, as you said, of a someone’s desperate need to feel clever and selfish.

HeWhoHasNoName

Worse for her than being named “Baby” would be if her mother ends up bonking on the tube….

HeWhoHasNoName

Wonder how Baby’s mum is planning for her 15 mins of fame… feeling sorry for the husband as I think he may be one of the legitimate ones in this experiment. Those bloody eyelashes… seriously why doesn’t her dad tell her off about that… and about going off and having a baby with a bad bod in her early 20’s unmarried. The dad was lucky he didn’t get the goulash knocked out of him.

Tamara is so wonderful yet can’t find a guy… she’s got demons in her closet I suspect!

At least it seems tonight we won’t be worrying much about the newbies… Queen Ding a Ling is on a rampage..