MAFS – Partner swap

“Partner swap. The couples are split and individuals are teamed up with another partner to discuss their relationship status. Two of the experiment’s biggest personalities face off.”

In place of “to discuss their relationship status” insert “to stir up trouble AKA ratings gold”.



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Sara

Ash needs to learn how to apply her fake tan – her hands are white. Must smell

Sara

A woman of Melissa’s years does not need waist length rats’ tails

WHY

The little girl voice gets me.

Daisy

It’s too whiny.

I had to try and think who is Melissa. She and John have been a snooze. Pretty sure they haven’t done the deed. They need a very inappropriate, public luurve session with the sexperts.

Maz

Ashley and Troy do a direct swap with Melissa and John. We wonder if Troy likes being a toyboy to an older woman.

Maz

Telv is matched with Tracey. Sarah is matched with Pat.

Maz

Dean is matched with Charlene.

brain dead dave

Fancy the producers trying that.

Maz

Charlene tries to confront Dean about his behaviour. Of course, it is everyone’s fault but his own.

The editors have spliced every lie of Dean’s with footage from the Boy’s Night.

Is it just me or does Dean have the puffy alcoholic’s face?

brain dead dave

The editors sliced and diced Dean until he was well hoist on his own petard.

Dean drinks straight from the bottle when possible. Not a great indicator of sobriety imo.

The sheer number of lies he tells makes also me think he’s an alcoholic The disease of denial.

Maz

Troy discusses the possibility of a match with Melissa.🤔

Daisy

Yikes.

Maz

Contestants seemed to have been indoctrinated with the belief that sleeping with a complete stranger on national tv is the sign of a healthy relationship. No wonder Tracey thinks everything is a-okay with Dean when everyone around her is telling her otherwise.
Charlene finds Pat physically repulsive and Dean sensing this “weakness” goes straight for the jugular.

Maz

Sarah goes stage 5 clinger demanding that Telv moves in straight away. Sarah does ‘understand’ why Telv is not keen. Daily Mail videos aside, here is a hint, Sarah, he lives on the other side of the country and has children to consider.

brain dead dave

Sarah went all Play Misty For Me on Telv. She really believes they are already hitched.

Daisy

I said it before, Sarah looks smelly. Wether it’s from make-up, lashings of perfume, or smelly crevices. (Remember LW? Crevices is one of her favourite words).

Bobi

I don’t know that she looks smelly on the offensive way I think you mean, but I think she looks smelly in the “just took an hour and a half to put on all this make-up, spray-tan and hair-gel” kind of way that means she smells of foundation and fixative.
It’s not a pleasant smell and make sure you want to sneeze.

Bobi

Really old lady smell … that’s what I was going for.

Daisy

PPFC…powder, perfume, foundation and crotch.

WHY

Your comment BDD made me laugh

brain dead dave

Favourite stalker movie. Cheers.

Daisy

If they want to wife swap, that pretty blond who got dumped should be on the table (not literally). The only thing is that all of the guys are between a 1 and a 2, wheras she is about an 8 or 9.

How’s that for disrespecting men AND women; giving them a score. But since they reckon it’s ok to have sex with a stranger on telly, I reckon the respect ship sailed weeks ago.

Lola

Charlene is totally repulsed by Patrick. She has physically and mentally rejected him so many times and has his balls in her handbag. If she tells him to “Man up” one more time, I will throw something from the TV.
Charlene, Dean, Telv, Sarah , Davina and Tracey are not very attractive people, inside or out.

And you are so right WHY, that little put on girlie voice of Melissa is a real turn off as well as the stupid fake hair and young girl clothes.

Daisy

Lola, I think this is the worst season. No one is likeable, maybe bar Patrick a smidge. No one is funny or slightly endearing. It’s just a bunch of tarts and mantarts behaving badly, and following producers prompts to behave badly. And the supposed psycholgists look like 3 wet and crumpled dishrags talking bullshirt. The sexperts are more like Sadsacks.
Other seasons had a bit more range, but aside from maybe one or two who have crumpled under the weight of sleeping with a stranger and left early, these are pretty rough servings.

Maz

The problem with this season is no-body was actually looking for a life partner but their 15 minutes of fame.

WHY

I think Charlene’s best partner is – her mirror! Everything thing she’s ever wanted staring at her in plain sight. 🙂

Lola

How was the look on Telv’s face when Sarah said she wanted them to move in together after the show. Yikes!
Sarah will be ‘abandoned’ once again. The quickest way for a man to leave are the words, “I’m nearly 40 and I wanna have kids”.

I agree Daisy, they certainly scraped the bottom of the barrel with these participants and the so called experts are getting worse with each season.

Daisy

That and “Frickin’ be a man”, Lola. Unless you belong to one of those clubs where you stand on a man’s chest wearing stilettos and carrying a whip.

WHY

Sarah should simply use a donor – no abandonment issues there. Problem solved.

Maz

Where is the perpetual victim-hood status in that?

That and she may need to drop a couple kilos before trying IVF.

brain dead dave

Telv had a laptop on his “reproductive area” last night. Too much of that will harm his sperm count and quality.

brain dead dave

Charlene…..oh , what a pain in the arse she is!

Lola

Talking about arses, I saw too much butt crack when Telv dropped his jocks to jump in the bathtub with Sarah. Eew!
Now that image won’t go away.
Too much Ch 9 , too much !

I also recommended Sarah buy a better bra. Surely if they can spend the money on Justin’s black lingerie singlet , the producers can get a good fitting bra for Sarah.

WHY

Sarah is 39 years old but if she doesn’t use a supportive bra soon, her sagging “girls” will sink south rapidly!

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Maz

Boring episode tonight. Same issues rehashed with a different backdrop.

brain dead dave

More of the same. Tracey will never learn.