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Maz

Again, we have missed the first twenty minutes. John and Melissa both decide to stay but we can’t help feel that Melissa is being coerced by the producers to do so as she looks likes she is in a dentist chair awaiting root canal.

WHY

Yes, I see no affection between them, there’s nothing going on here.

Daisy

I’m not a fan of botox lipped Tracey.

Maz

Tassels are a no.

Maz

Deep breathe. Troy admits to losing his prime post thirty hence the need to do push-ups at the most inappropriate moments.

Is there a bonus payment if you stay to the end?

Otherwise, Ashley has the “think of England” grimace as she agrees to stay.

Daisy

😂

Maz

Blair is happy to stay as it gives her time to build her insta following. Not sure about Sean. He might need to see a real mental health professional.

Maz

Justin is quite happy with his pillow wall as long as he gets to promote his international soft serve machine with 400% GP. Carly is superfluous to his needs. Both stay.

Maz

Pat & Charlene stay.
Nassar & Gabrielle stay.

No drama. They are chop liver.

Maz

Same with Sarah and Telv.

Maz

Sean looks like a dead-man walking.
Sean elects to leave. Jo labels him a douche bag and is shattered.

WHY

Hang on, I don’t get this. As far as we are concerned, the viewing public, we can only go on what we’ve seen and there’s nothing between them.

So Sean is that bad guy, just because Jo had some delusional fantasy that she wanted to fall in love, with her stranger, and fooled herself that drinking more than your partner and laughing out loud – all the time, means your romantically involved does it? Did Sean lead her up the garden path? Did he make promises? I’m afraid Jo has been rejected and just can’t tolerate the humiliation.

Maz

Wouldn’t say Sean is the bad guy based on editing. Think they have gone for the fat girl humiliated storyline.

Maz

Weirdness engulfs the fledgling Alycia/Matt relationship as Matt casts himself as older big brother. Alycia is disappointed that things are not progressing like a M&B novel and asks why they were matched. Apparently, they are happy, happy people.

Alycia, the M&B storyline is still tracking, you just need to shake the protective big brother vibe…(bikini is the conventional plot device) of course they both elect to stay.

Maz

Davina adjusts her top to expose more flesh.

Maz

Ryan is stupid and putty in Davina’s hands.

Maz

Really Davina? A pantomime expression of shock and you make sure everyone sees it when Dean announces he wants to leave???

Maz

Tracey believes everything is going well and then she is blindsided that Dean wants to leave after they ‘made love’ that very morning. We know that Dean has a thing for botox trout lips (see preview for next week) but not for baggage (i.e. Tracey’s child).

Daisy

This is when you know you found your match, he buys you a wooden toilet seat and ceramic systern for Christmas. And installs them.

brain dead dave

Spot the tool.

Daisy

The boys tell Dean there is a breakdown of communication in his relationship. That is because he is not averse to sc**ing her, even when he doesn’t like her.

Daisy

I love this shot. It’s what girls do when sympathizing. Perhaps she knows something about Dean that Tracey doesn’t.

Maz

She is fake too. The contestants have a lot to thank Davina for (or not) depending how fame hungry they are.

Daisy

“And what about you Sean?” I think when someone looks like they are wanting to heave, you don’t need to ask.

Windsong

And doesn’t that look like the face of a man in love, eh? Eek.

Daisy

The signals were there. He had that face from the moment he saw her at the altar and she went “Eeeeeeeee” and clapped her hans and drooled.

Daisy

It’s a cliffhanger and Jo expects a stay from Sean.

Daisy

I can’t get my eyes on that really bad lip filler on Tracey. She said no one has ever treated her badly. I reckon her cosmetic surgeon treated her badly. Herlips look uneven and like a accident.

Now comes the set-up cheating of Davina and Sean. I’ll go for the ride but it’s the Gail and Andrew story all over again. Was her name Gail???

Maz

Cheryl.
She be shattered that she was so unforgettable.

Daisy

Ooops. 😁

Daisy

Next time, she needs to not salivate and seal clap at the altar. And I will be boringly old fashioned here, but when the guy drinks from a stubby, you don’t have to match him. Drink from a glass.

Maz

Okay, MAFS does not answer the most important question, How much is the rent on those apartments??

OMG, Troy just get yourself a sex doll…the art department have decorated the apartment with the obligatory wedding photo and Troy’s comment? “She does look great for what she is.” 😮

Maz

Dean is dumbfounded that having relations just before dumping someone may be construed as a “mixed message.”

brain dead dave

I reckon you could fill a warehouse with the things that dumbfound Dean.

Maz

Tracey is stupid and desperate.

Maz

Dean mansplains to Tracey that relationships are different in Sydney than Perth.

“I’ve been in open relationships and purely physical relations” cos that is how it rolls in Sydney. Tracey stupidly believes him.

No, Tracey, a sleeze in Sydney is a sleeze in Perth. She really is short quite a few sandwiches for the picnic.

Maz

True love, Jo-style.

Daisy

Yep, they’re married alright.

Maz

Troy can’t assemble a Kmart bookcase. Even with the instructions.

Daisy

Troy is bullshirting us. He is trying to break into comedy.

Daisy

Dean should charge a fare because Tracey is being taken for a ride. She is soo gullible. “thanks for being honest with me” she says as he comes up with a new line.

Daisy

What the fork is wrong with Matt? He’s got the best wife imo.She’s beautiful and nice. Maybe she was boring for him.

Bolders

Did you see what Matt was wearing when they moved in to the apartment? clothes so tattered and old as fossils thongs that, as someone on the Daily Mail commented, he looked like morning breath. In fact most of the guys look like shite out of the wedding suits.

I don’t know why Matt’s wife is there: unless she’s looking for a job in the entertainment field.

Daisy

She used to be very fat and still hasn’t figured out how attractive she is. I think she is still a fat girl in the body of a gorgeous girl. She hasn’t been able to get a guy.

Daisy

I worked it out ( or did my angels tell me) Matt got a bait and switch. He thought he was just going to fake it to be on telly but ended up getting a really decent girl who was genuinely in there for the long haul. Then he found himself in a predicament of not wanting to hurt her, hence the big brother line.
Sound about right????

Maz

Yep.
He is not even trying. Proper shoes might help.

Maz
Bobi

I’ve also worked out that for some guys (gender neutral term), this show is about Channel 9 playing pimp. Except with both partners being paid.
Here’s a girl, dress her up purty, have a small party with drama, sleep with the girl, move on to next partner. But with a bit of voyeurism thrown in for good measure.
In my day (yes, I am that old), this is the sort of behaviour that you would be so ashamed of that you would keep it a secret, even from your local priest.
Who did not pick a mile away that Dean was that a douchebag? The producers should hang their heads in embarrassment for enabling him in the humiliation of someone for entertainment.
I think I’m upset by this season. I’m out, permanently.

brain dead dave

The local priest might have a few secrets of his own.

Bobi

Heh, heh, heh.

Maz

We realised that Dean doesn’t want a wife but rather to be a cult leader where nubile young females offer sexual favours in exchange for salvation.

brain dead dave

Matt the plumber thinks communicating is yelling at people. That style will go down the “S” bend pretty quickly.

Just watched Dean’s “apology”. About as sincere as Don Burke’s. Hope we get to meet Dean’s father (if his Parole Officer allows it)

Bolders

Why the pretence of a ‘marriage’ ceremony? I think given the actors on this show, the orchestrated shlock, that this show is really Love Island but with a ‘marriage’ ceremony and 3 talking head as an excuse to use the tag social experiment on free to air TV>
Because really, this is about hooking up: last night one of the talking heads opined about how a lack of sexual intimacy can impact a relationship. WTF. A so called professional criticising one of the pair of strangers for not having sex.

If they were honest about the show they were producing, I’d be okay, but this shite is really horrendous. Die Nine.

Maz

It is an overseas franchise. Unlike other jurisdictions where the show is produced the marriage is legally binding. In Australia, you can’t legally marry a complete stranger hence the sham ceremony upfront.

It was pretty poor taste bitching a couple won’t have sex. The more genuine couples, we would assume, would go through the motions for the show, and then after the cameras stop rolling pursue the relationship proper.

Daisy

At the start ofthe show when they go tell families they are going to marry a stranger, what they are really saying then is that they will be having sex with a stranger on tv.

Maz

*stranger(s).

Daisy

Yes, I glitched at that too Bolders. Somehow I imagined that people wouldn’t want to go on tv and have sex with strangers for all the world to see. Not only do they, but it’s endorsed by professionals. Good Lord! And there is no hope if kids are watching this, thinking it’s a rite of passage.

Maz

F&*K!!!Ryan has just gotten a tattoo of Davina on him. Was there no IQ test???

Daisy

I hope Ryan left room for 💖s Dean.

Bolders

Methinks there is indeed and IQ test, but you have to barely register in the double digits to make it in the show.

Daisy

Even the sextriplets could barely pass an IQ test.

WHY

Ryan and Tracey would be perfect for each other.😆

WHY

Most of these vacuous, fame hungry people make me cringe – and Dean and Davina wonder why they are single??

Maz

Sarah is upset that Telv didn’t delete all his dating apps (Tinder etc) on his phone before marrying her.

Maz

Matt has just given Alycia the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech.

Bolders

The Matt and Alycia fiasco is just weird.

Re Telc and Sarah : note to self, disenfect chairs next time I visit a serviced apartment or hotel

Maz

Ewww.

Daisy

Hence we are backto my theory; why did Matt enlist? He hadn’t thought it through. He hadn’t envisaged getting ‘stuck with’ a nice girl. He would have been happier with Tracey or Davina so he could enter in (literally) without feeling guilty.
“Damn you sexperts for giving me the girl next door”.

Daisy

Noteto Bolders, I always disinfect my mind when staying in hotels. I never want to think about what gross specimen has been in our bed, nor what they did. It’s bad enough watching people clean their ears on sun lounges. I take dettol wipes for the sunlounges btw.

Maz

Daisy, we will let you capture the moment.

Daisy

OK but I will be watching tomorrow. I taught today and am zonked.

Maz

Do you think Justin’s pick up line is , ” I own three companies”?
You too can own three companies for $1437. Not impressed.

Maz

Tracey feels respected. Meanwhile Dean is en route to his rendezvous with Davina.

The producers must be rubbing their hands with glee.

brain dead dave

Perhaps that should be “on root” to his toxic tryst with Davina.

Maz

Hahahahahaha. Spot Dean’s bald patch. It is a comb-over to rival Trump.

Davina, he is far too old for you.

Maz

Mmmm.

Bolders

There’s some mighty fine photoshop in them thar hills. You wouldn’t think you’d need airbrushing after being ‘rejuvenated’.

She also continually licks her upper lip- might be trying to locate its whereabouts.

Daisy

She needs a refund on the lips. They are badly done, and look like she has a cold sore on the top lip. She is trying hard for celebrity in a fish pond where there are many beautiful goldfish and she is just a guppy. She needs to be realistic, get a normal job and look after her daaughter. That’s just my opinion.

Daisy

Except for the teeth, I think she looks better in the before.

Lola

Tracy needs to get compensation from the plastic surgeons. They have botched her face. Maybe she needs to go on the show, ‘Botched’
As for Davina and Deano, there are no words.
Ryan does not possess a single brain cell. Ch 9 will be giving him money for tattoo removal. Hope It hurts!

brain dead dave

For what Deano and Davina are up to , it should be on David Attenborough’s Life Of Mammals.

PollyB

Grand baby daddy. Truly, this was said to my face. Bizarro.

Daisy

Hate it. The weirdos on Judge Judy all have “baby daddy’s”. It’s because they don’t have that strange, archaic thing, a husband. I wonder if the words husband, wife, father and mother might one day disappear.

brain dead dave

Blair’s two hundred plus partners must have something to do with the lack of spark.

It’s as if Rachel’s buying a car that’s been thrashed and fit for scrap. He’s done too many miles.

Maz

Davina tells another porkie. She never wears tight dresses as she feels self -conscious. 🤣

Maz

Can we just repeat that Tracey is stupid.

Maz

Davina is reeling Tracey in, hook, line, sinker.