MKR – Sun – Curlies cook

Go Curlies!
Go Curlies!

After a quick hug with Mum and Dad the Curlies are off shopping, and we’re reminded they live in the boondocks so that when they forget an ingredient on their list later we’ll realise what a big deal it is. They say they like to cook food that’s different and challenges people.

That is a lot of shopping! And so much plastic - tsk, tsk.
That is a lot of shopping! And so much plastic – tsk, tsk.

Their menu sounds very modern rustic and the judges are excited:
Goat’s cheese fondant with roast beetroot and port figs
Caramelised onion broth and truffle french toast (Fancy french onion soup? Yum)
Lamb sweetbreads with charred cauliflower and hazelnuts
Beetroot risotto with roasted pheasant
Porcini and caramel tart with coffee ice cream (Mushrooms in dessert? This will be really interesting.)
Poached meringue in orange-scented custard and pistachio praline (So, fancy floating islands?)

Is it the sweetbreads (glands) that freak Zana out when she finds out? She eats liver, though. As the Curlies set up their mossy, foresty restaurant we’re reminded of Zana’s germphobia.

Curly Laura gets started on prepping the pheasant while sous chef Mitchell does veg stock prep and brioche duty. They know their coffee icecream has to be awesome because the Sisters did such a delish pandan ice cream. But then Laura realises something: “We’ve done something ridiculous.” (Umm, entered a cooking competition that won’t finish until you are in your 30s?) No, they forgot the cream and it takes 20 minutes just to get to the shops. Pity they can’t just milk a cow but I guess MKR liability doesn’t cover unpasteurised milk.
Mitch dashes to the shops and they still seem to be going ok. They get changed and the stylists have put Laura in a dress that’s so impractical for cooking. a) it’s white b) it has flowy sleeves b) it looks like it’s made of highly flammable material.

Forget the muslin and use your sleeves to strain the stock, Laura.
Forget the muslin and use your sleeves to strain the stock, Laura.

Here come the other teams to the tune of Elle King’s Exes and Ohs (bizarre fact: Her Dad is Rob Schneider AKA Deuce Bigalow).

Everyone looks nice, like they’re dressed for a spring wedding.

Nice suit, Plus One.
Nice suit, Plus One.

We’re reminded that Anna and Jordan and Zana and Plus One have been here before, so that’s three teams from Group 1 still in the comp. Tasia and Gracia are the sole survivors of Group 2 while Lauren and Carmine were in Fass and Khoo’s Group 3. At the table Zana is clearly uncomfortable with the natural setting and Lauren is on the same wavelength for once: “This grass is making me bitchy.” Oh, sorry – that was itchy.

Zana inspects the moss placemat for dung beetles.
Zana inspects the moss placemat for dung beetles.

In the kitchen the brioche looks divine and Laura is teaching viewers how to clarify stock with a raft.
The judges arrive to the “It takes two” lyric from Gossip’s uber funky Heavy Cross and do their synchronised buttoning up of jackets.

Buttons up, gents.
Buttons up, gents.

Time to order and Lauren drops the first “amazeballs” of the night in confessional when talking about how the onion broth had better stack up against her own creations. How many more minutes until we get the dreadful American accent?
No-one at the table who ordered sweetbreads knows what it is. Anna tells them it’s lamb balls, but later in confessional refers to them as the more genteel “testicles”. Not quite right, anatomically, Anna, but we get the drift.

Did Zana think sweetbreads were doughnuts?
Did Zana think sweetbreads were doughnuts?

Luckily Zana is reassured they’re kind of like liver.
In the kitchen the Curlies are plating their goat’s cheese fondants and they look gorgeous. Their plating is way beyond everyone else, but while it may look lovely Mitch is worried the time it takes means the fondants won’t be oozy.
Time to chew

Pete loved his fondant, even though it wasn’t oozy. Manu – who took a swig straight from the broth bottle – thought it was fabulous and a flavour explosion but they should have pan-friend the french toast.
Sisters love their broth, Jordan loves his fondant but Zana is not impressed with her entree and, shock, horror, Plus One finds an unwanted garnish on his plate.

At least it's not a bug. Or a bird. Or dirt.
At least it’s not a bug. Or a bird. Or dirt.

After Manu has finished saying he loved the broth, Lauren gives her critique: “I wouldn’t be going back to the kitchen asking for more. Am I blown away? No, I’m not.” Ah, so tonight we get more strategic scoring?

Back in the kitchen
Laura’s taken on a lot of work doing risotto for an instant restaurant – it could easily go wrong.
Night has fallen and some contestants are finding the bush setting a little creepy, especially when a dog starts howling.

New MKR twist: John Jarratt is going to leap out from under the table with a knife.
New MKR twist: John Jarratt is going to leap out from under the table with a knife.


Pity Pete and Manu weren’t at the table when it happened. Curlies plate up the mains and they again look great, but the pheasant may be overdone. She’s managed to make beetroot risotto not look too much like a crime scene.
Time to chew

Manu says the risotto was delicious but it’s a little undercooked and he’s sad there was no skin on the pheasant, as it lacked crispiness and was dry. Pete says the sweetbreads weren’t enough like little clouds but the other elements were great: “For such a young team cooking like this, you should be very proud.”
At least Jordan is loving his first taste of sweetbreads: “It’s my first gland and my favourite gland.” But then, disaster: Zana has a hairy sweetbread and this time because it’s on her plate and not Gianna’s she flips out.

She could be a gurning champion.
She could be a gurning champion.

Jordan offers to eat Zana’s dish as she says she can’t try any of it.

Back in the kitchen Laura is working on her porcini caramel tart and the pastry is too short and being problematic. Once cooked it looks really cracked – they should just crumble it and treat it as a deconstructed job. Yep, and that’s what Laura does. It’s a bit messy but we’ve seen worse. “Oh, this looks like absolute balls,” Laura says. Mitch is happy with the meringue but not the consistency of the custard.
Time to chew

Manu loved the coffee icecream but knows there was a problem with the dessert. He says there is too much sweetness but the porcini was something “kind of special”. On the whole, it did not deliver. Pete liked his meringue but the custard was flat.
Curly Laura knows they bit off more than they could chew and it’s true – it’s the kind of menu we’d usually see in a grand final, after they’d had time to hone their skills.
In confessional Carmine suggests Lauren give Laura a lesson on both custard and tart making. “I’ll give her a two-for-one demo; I’ll make her a custard tart,” says Lauren. Judging by the ad for your instant restaurant, Lauren, you shouldn’t be so cocky.
Everyone’s eating and then – calamity – Zana finds another hair! That’s two for her and three in total for her team. Well, that’s what happens when people with mop hair cook and TV producers won’t let them wear hair nets. Zana flips out more than Grant Hackett on a Virgin flight.

Zana and Plus One 3 (or a hair-free 5 or 6); Sisters 6; Anna and Jordan 6; Lauren and Carmine 4. Total 19/40
Pete takes the unprecedented step of informing Curlies one team found hair in their food. I can’t remember the judges saying anything before.
Entree Pete (goat’s cheese) 9, Manu (broth) 9; Main Pete (sweetbreads) 7, Manu (risotto) 6; Dessert Pete (meringue) 5, Manu (caramel tart) 5. Total 60/100

The devastated Curlies are in danger but Lauren and Carmine cook tomorrow, so who knows.

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Sweetbreads – I’ve never tried them. Anyone?

brain dead dave

I’m saving them for when I’m dead.



Even as Laura was describing them, I was thinking, “… yeah, I’d pick the
*other* thing on the menu. It wouldn’t even matter what it was, I’d pick the other thing.”


I am really keen to see a screenshot when Laura paid for her groceries. Did I see $900?


I didn’t see an amount, just the credit card number.

all happening

I think it was $90.04 Sandii. I haven’t seen truffle at Coles. Wonder what aisle that comes under.
I unfortunately have a reaction to sweetbreads, brains etc. I come out in hives. oh dear what a pity NOT but a great excuse not to have to eat them. They were standard fair when I was young and really cheap.


An on-line butcher (A&S Meats) has them for $11.99 a kilo. I would be very surprised to find sweetbreads so readily available. Wouldn’t they have to be ordered in? I must ask my local butcher.


I laughed when Zana said that, for the (albeit kind of gross) mistake of a hair on Gianni’s plate, she’d forgive them *this* time.

I imagine channel 7 had to edit out the part where she added that the *next* time it happened, somebody’s body would be found in a ditch with a steak knife in the back.


Okay, yeah, wow. Of course in the second course, Zana got another hair.

Watching her facial expressions at the sheer horror of it (to say nothing of cutting to Lauren and Carmine who ended up giggling) was entertaining, but I do think she’s got a point. Yeah, it’s just a hair (and I laughed when Jordan asked if he could have the meal if she wasn’t going to eat. “I’d just eat it.” And Anna just sighed and said, “Yes, he would”), but it’s still kind of gross.


Oh wow, a third hair. That’s just really unfortunate.


The third hair is a bit of a problem.

If the hairs are coming in with the food then it is a random chance. We have 10 contestants and 2 judges. There is 1 chance in 12 that any random person will have a hair in their dish. The chance of the same person having a second hair is 1/12 of 1/12. The chance of a third hair is 1/12 of 1/12 of 1/12 or 1 chance in 1728.

That is not impossible. People do win Lotto. But it is a very small number. The alternatives are that the hairs (from whatever source) were somehow specially attracted to Zana, or that the distribution was not random.


Three strikes your out. But what to do with all those curls when producers won’t allow a sensible hair net. Still I don’t wear a hair net when I cook at home. Who does?

OK here is how I deal with hair in food. A black curly hair in the pizza from Nick the Greek with the curly chest hair means never go back there (and I didn’t). One hair in a dish at a restaurant might result in me handing it to the waitress and possibly returning the dish. I have eaten any times in India so I’m not too much of a culinary princess. They scratch their balls and wipe a knife clean with the same hand right there without batting an eyelid. If it’s at a friends house I might crack a joke or just eat politely and not mention it.

brain dead dave

Colin~”Ternoight on MKR, we present te story of Goldilocks And Te Tree Hairs”

“It’s come down to the result. There wasn’t a hair in it!”


lol at Manu’s face when Lauren critiqued the broth. Still recovering from Zana’s “I don’t eat balls / any balls” comment. Good of Laura’s nan to lend her a frock 😉


Yeah. Lauren has never make a clear broth! All she did was a stock.

brain dead dave

There’d be a few Tasmanian Devils hanging around the house, trying to get in and mate with Lauren. The haterade made me say it. Just saying.


Lauren: “We know a good tart.” Apparently?

The thing that’s most grating about Lauren isn’t even the entitlement or her dreadful American accent. It’s the fact that she can’t go for five minutes without telling us what an awesome cook she is … when there has not been a single shred of onscreen evidence to support. It’s all well and good to have a gigantic ego, but you need to have the skills to actually back that up. And all we ever get from Lauren is, “I’m so awesome!” and I’m sorry, sweety, but you’re not. You’re really not.


Oh, and there was an ad for a gossip magazine where, it turns out MKR’s cougar and her toy boy have broken up, and apparently he walked out on her.

Just wanna say, I totally called that back during their IR round.


lol, snap


Just saw the ad for this weeks “No Idea” Toyboy and cougar split – say it isn’t so!
Back to the show. Three hairs in three courses is pretty bad. Lauren egging her on to score what’s in front of her.

all happening

Oooooohhhh nooo!

all happening

I hope the ads are true that Lauren and the concreter bombed big time after hearing the custard comments.
Back on the amazeball rubbish again. What a pain she is.

brain dead dave

Sounded like Manu garbled “Bitch and Laura” when addressing them.


A few times when he tried to say the word “beet” through that thick French accent, it sounded like he was saying, “bitch”. I did a double-take a couple of times before I realised what he was actually saying.

brain dead dave

He’s saying “bitchroot” ie “ze bitchroot was full of flava”


L&C are playing the game I guess. Kinda like showing your desperation at a job interview – a real no-no. Unfortunately their chronic narcissism gets in the way. I’m pretty sure they “believe” their food is better than the others, and reminding everyone at the table only sets them up for lower scores. I thought the curlies would do better, perhaps they were too ambitious.


I am sure L and C will get the lowest scores tomorrow night. The producers will be rubbing their hands for the Zana and Lauren show down.


And the thing is, you just know that Lauren and Carmine will spend the final two restaurants (for Jordan/Anna, and Zana/Gianni) complaining about how unfairly everybody scored and taking out their low scores on everybody else.

It couldn’t be just because they’re terrible cooks, could it? No, it has to be some wild conspiracy of people who are jealous of her, or something.


Twelve minutes into the show here in the west. Over to you, Juz, I cannot deal with this silliness, I’ll read the recap.

They forgot to buy cream. They forgot to buy cream? Gee, a shopping list with items checked off as they’re put in the trolley might have helped that. And dude, don’t put your apron over your head with your hair down and then tie your hair back while you are in the kitchen. A loose hair on your apron or your shirt can easily drop into the food.

I have an abhorrence for hair in food. I cannot get past lack of basic hair-control and hygiene rules here. Gag, puke, with their dirty disgusting kitchen habits.


Maybe someone will saw Lauren in half at her “magic show”.


We can only hope.


No rabbits but plenty of “hairs”.

brain dead dave

You’d think “hair” and pheasant would go well together. Zana wasn’t game to eat it.


Tarq’s dad would be proud of you, Dave ;).


The dishes looked and sounded good, although I think sweetbreads are nuts or something that I wouldn’t want to eat.
If I get hair in my food, I prefer them not to be curly ones.


Custard, tarts & “crap in a bag” par excellence. Cannot wait until L&C cook.


You forgot Lauren Famous Mud Cake!!!!


So many dishes, so many crimes.


Lauren belongs on Come Dine with Me UK. Delusion par excellence.


I am just watching the dessert. I wouldn’t likd poached meringue. I would rather eat mushed tart.


The producers must have been lacing those dishes with hairs. One of them looked like Woolif’s curly grey chest hair.


Did you noticed that it is always 5 serves of each dish!!! The producers have their hands in what the teams will order.


Yes, I thought about that Littlepetal. They would be stuffed if everyone ordered the same menu.


Thank you for the recap. 🙂


Looks like the Curlies are done. No way they will let Lauren and Carmine leave after that round… :/


Lauren is delusional. She cooks everything better than everyone else. LOL
Hair in the food….I wouldn’t eat the food either. I can’t stand hair in food unless it’s angel hair pasta. If it happened once I might return to that restaurant but twice….I would never go back there again. It’s strange, though, that only Gianni & Zana found hairs in their food.
Did anyone notice the dirt under Mr. Curlie’s fingernails? That was gross, too.
I hope that L & C make major mistakes tomorrow but since Lauren is the best at everything that probably won’t happen. 😉

Juz…gurning…great description of Zana’s facial expressions.

brain dead dave

Yep. I saw that Curly had dirty fingernails and an open cut on his thumb. But this is all part of the deludees package and is rock solid proof of their quenchless passion. I’m glad people notice this because it’s simply unacceptable.


Three hairs all to the same person? Only one conclusion to make – they are hers!

What an almighty fuss. I was starting to think that Zana wasn’t so bad, but last night I wanted to tackle her and shove dirt in her mouth.

My measure of whether the scoring is fair or not is to average the judge’s score. By that measure (Pete’s average 7, Manu’s 6.6) only Anna and Jordan scored reasonably, and the sisters were close. It is so clear that after the sister’s excellent scores, Carmine and Lauren have been spooked and will be scoring low from here on.


The two hairs that I actually saw looked light brown/blondish so not Zana’s. Could not see the other hair so not sure what color it was. I see so much hair hanging down into food and over food during MKR (as well as other cooking shows) that I am surprised that more hair isn’t found unless it is edited out or the contestants find it before serving and remove it from the plates.


It’s also just possible they weren’t hairs at all. With all the moss and pine branches festooned in every direction it’s a wonder Zana Worrier Princess did not end up with a pine cone in her pudding.

Midsomer Murders is famous for its fox screams. If any character is unwise enough to go outside after dark (generally they don’t last long if they do) you can barely hear their lines for all the fox screams on the soundtrack. MKR is far too ethical to stoop to playing the Midsomer fox scream just to add drama. Or not…


The hairs are hers ? Get your eyes check, lol


The producers outdid themselves in the promo for this episode. We saw the contestants all jumping in fright, which turned out to be hearing an animal make a noise. Jordan implies a bomb has gone off, but it is just Zana being a princess.


Splitting hairs here, but Curlies would have rocked it if they had fewer elements to juggle (and did not forget the cream). Instead of carving up a whole pheasant but some pre-filleted duck breasts. Serve a dessert with one caramel, not two and layer it in a glass so you don’t have to fuss with pastry.


I also didn’t understand why they put the “deconstructed” dessert in a dish rather than a glass. It would have at least looked better than the mess they put on the plate.


Based on previous series, a score of 61 should be safe.

Did the judges mention that the team with the lowest score will be eliminated?

I am only thinking that they may want to prolong this series and to milk the Zana/Lauren show.

Could they have the bottom 2 teams do a Sudden Death? if they are Zana and Lauren.


See, when Zana’s in her element (aka, her own sterilised and bleached kitchen without any balls for her to eat), she’s actually a good cook, which means I don’t see her and Gianni being scored badly. And I don’t imagine Jordan and Anna doing a bad job, either (yeah, I’m biased, but still).

I think the two lowest scores will be Lauren and Carmine (obviously) and the Curlies. If there’s a sudden death, it’d be those two.

Besides, the producers have milked the Lauren and Carmine show for all they’re worth (a lot more than that, if we’re actually judging on cooking and not entertainment). I think letting those two drongos through into the final four would be the producers all but admitting, “Yeah, it’s rigged, and has nothing to do with cooking ability”. I don’t see them being that obvious, although …


I can see a Curlies v Carmine and Wotsername Sudden Death and I don’t think the Curlies will make a string of silly mistakes two times running. Now Carmine and Wotsername, by contrast…

I also don’t think Zana and Gianni necessarily have a lock on a final 4 spot. Zana handles stress less well than anyone else still in the competition and they have a record of making weird food choices during the challenges. I think the Zana v Wotsername stiletto-off is just possible for the sudden death round.


I thought they said lowest score of the round goes home. Doesn’t that translate to a return to HQ for the dramatic score reveal?


I watched the episode again and there was no mentioned about one team going home!!! TV Guide.

Also no episode this Sun and no mention that Finale is on Wed


Even with their mistakes last night, Curlies still impressed me for what they attempted. Way more complicated than anything other teams have tried yet, for their age they’re fabulous cooks really.

I call shenanigans on Curly Bro’s mad rural trek to get cream. Curly Sis said he was going to Balnarring 20 mins away (is actually a lil over 10mins, he could’ve made it back to Coles in 25 mins) but Balnarring only has an IGA. It really didn’t look like that IGA when he pulled cream of the shelf… was probably one of the general stores or little chi chi vegan/organic/blah blah shops dotted around. On the way back they showed poor Bro stuck at a level crossing- there hasn’t been a running train line in that area since WW2. That shot looked like it was taken back in Hastings when they left Coles.

You’d think the producers were trying to up the drama or something.


lol – Loved your WW2 comment, I noticed it was one of those two car trains.


I was really sad that that Mitch and Laura did not do that well as they are one of my favourites. But I also think that Laura was not well, as her voice kept getting really crokey.
There food did look good, and it was a hard menu. Maybe they did bite off too much as some of the others have had simpler menus up to this point. Not the Asian sisters tho, they do fab menus and food.
I hope that the curlies get through the the next round.


But they did do quite well – two 9s (near perfect entrees), a 7 and a 6 for reasonably good mains, and two average desserts. Nothing was disastrous, despite the promos trying to imply that. The level of technique required was far superior to most other teams. It is just that the expectations were raised so high. Lauren and Carmine marked them low because they didn’t use smoke or dry ice, neither of which were promised at all.


After last night I’ve changed my mind on guzzling a 6 pack of haterade… I’ve gone for the slab instead.

Yeah Lauren, you rock.. we luvsyou!

brain dead dave

Colin~ “Oi’m afraid ter were tree hairs in yer food tonight, goys!”


oh.. please bring him back!


Are we all doing the hater-ade drinking game? Sip hater for every amazeballs, glug for fake gangsta accent and skull for fiddy-kay?

brain dead dave

Don’t forget mention of “Nonna”~ will make me throw up..


No!!Please no Nonna. I got gastro at the weekend and I don’t want to throw up! 😷😷


Don’t worry… Nonna’s even drinking the Haterade!


Just received this email from Coles:

Recipe for the Best pastry from MKR

But its not from Lauren who claimed she makes the best pastry but its from Anna and Jordan. 😆😆😆


I am so sick of Lauren saying she makes the absolute best of everything. Agree with all above comments about her. What is wrong with the woman and that man who agrees with her? Does she realise how ridiculous she sounds?
“I make the best this, I make the best that”. What a load of crap.
And speaking of ridiculous does Zana realise how stupid, ridiculous, you name it, that she looks when she pulls those pathetic faces?

Well this is your last chance Lauren to show some of these “best” dishes you claim to make. Good luck sweetheart, I have a feeling your are going to need it..


Imagine Zana was cross examining you in court. If she pulls those faces you’d crack up.


I think she has such big teeth that her mouth just can’t help it😅


Well, I missed a couple of weeks but have come back and nothing has changed …. dirty hands, faux drama, Lauren being annoying and talking herself up etc, etc, etc.