MKR, Tues, Feb 16 – The Lovebirds

So, what do we think the missing ingredient is that we see Mr Nice dashing to the servo for?

JP and Nelly - The Lovebirds.
JP and Nelly – The Lovebirds.

And here’s the my recap: It’s Mr Nice and Little Miss Sunshine AKA JP and Nelly from Queensland. They work in marketing and tea ambassadorship – does that mean she sells tea?
Their mums are Polish and his dad is a retired French chef, so hopefully they’ve learnt some terrific European-style cooking.
First up on their shopping trip is a stop at the Silva [sic] Spoon at Cotton Tree, near Maroochydore, because the tea ambassador likes to cook with tea.
Entree is a traditional Polish pastry that’s loaded with butter, so they know Jess is going to loooove it. Not.
Again we’ve absolutely whipped through the shopping trip and are home to create a beachy vibe by throwing some sand around the dining room (this can’t be their house – no way would I do that at my place) and for a subtle close-up of the sponsor’s iced tea.

Their menu is: Entree: Potato and cheeses pierogi with bacon and sage sauce.
Main: Rib eye with celeriac mash and lapsang souchong barbecue sauce.
Dessert: Chai-infused creme brulee

They start working on the pierogi and dessert. An hour into the cook they are happy and confident and Nelly starts on some raspberry black tea ice cream to go with the creme brulee.
JP is working on the pierogi filling and is happy with the potato and cheese flavour yet. He’s doing a sauerkraut-style salad to give a bit of acid balance to the entree.
Uh oh – the guests are arriving and Jess’s white knee socks are back! This time paired with black platform sandals. Why do they dress her like an anime character?

Did she wear compression socks on the plane and forget to take them off?
Did she wear compression socks on the plane and forget to take them off?

JP and Nelly are tagged The Lovebirds, so we get lots of slow-mo, smoochies and soppy music. Urgh. Nelly is dancing with excitement and squealing as she greets her guests. In real life this could be sweet or really, really annoying.
The guests admire but I’m with Jess’s serial killer stare friend when he says: “We’re more coffee people.”
And here come the judges, with Manu in his tablecloth jacket stolen from the wardrobe of Matt Preston.

I'm going to take this jacket and sell it to Channel 7.
I’m going to take this jacket and sell it to Channel 7.
Pete, who can we sell this jacket to at Channel 9?
Pete, who can we sell this jacket to at Channel 9?

Looking at the menu the miners are intimidated, and Non-Man Bun worries he will soon be back working at the mine.
Jess, who has Polish heritage, explains to the others that pierogi is a kind of dumpling and says “everything about this entree speaks to me; never mind the calories. I’m just really excited for it.” The guests are shocked by her pro-carb stance.
The pierogi hold together in the water and The Lovebirds are happy.

Time for the judges to masticate, but first, an ad break to remind us 7Flix launches at the end of the month.
Back to Manu, who does a classic fakeout: “Let’s start with the negatives … there wasn’t enough.” Pete applauds their addition of the pickled cabbage: “That was a beautiful plate of food.”
The guests are loving the butter, cheese and potato but they are more excited by the fact Jessica cleaned her plate.
“I’m really impressed .. it was amazing,” she says. Is she being nicer now her instant restaurant is looming.
In the kitchen the couple are on to the mains and, to show how love up they are, Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines (with lyrics Nothin’ like your last guy, he too square for you; He don’t smack that ass and pull your hair for you So I’m just watchin’ and waitin’; For you to salute the truly pimpin’; Not many women can refuse this pimpin’; I’m a nice guy, but don’t get confused, you git’n it!… yep, they’ve nailed JP and Nelly’s relationship with that choice of song).
The rib eyes are massive and everyone should be happy with the serving size. Mr Nice Guy makes a sauce to go with it using the tea.
Nelly is having trouble with the puree as the celeriac bits are lumpy, because they cooked it in a frypan. She swears – more than once – and the Snow White facade cracks. JP wants to roll with it because timing is critical for his steaks, which he correctly says are the stars. Just chuck the mash in the microwave, guys, cook it, then add more butter and cream – sorted.
JP tests one of his steaks and it is on the rare side, so he’s not happy. Nelly is chucking mini tanties over the mash, still. I’m surprised they sliced the steak -I thought they’d dish up the big slab.
Cue the chew:

Pete is sad it wasn’t served on the bone but it’s another fakeout as he still loved the mash, meat and sauce. Manu says they get away with the veg because it’s a mash, not a puree.
The Lovebirds are stunned and deliriously happy.
It’s back to the kitchen and time to play with the brulee torch. Uh oh – they’re out of gas! JP dashes off into the night. I’d be stuffed if this happened here on a weekend – SA shops shut at 5pm Saturday and Sundays. Looks like JP is in the same boat and he strikes out at the first servo.
Back home Nelly is freaking out and trying to scoop out rock hard ice cream into serving dishes. Manu pops in to the kitchen to watch her cry, gives her a comforting light punch on the arm and then tells her to think of a solution.

I'm contractually not allowed to hug you twice in one show, so here's a buck-up punch in the arm.
I’m contractually not allowed to hug you twice in one show, so here’s a buck-up punch in the arm.

Light bulb! She can make toffee and just put it on top. JP can stop driving round servos.
Back home the toffee shards look cool on top of the brulee, which is served on wooden boards shaped like a jigsaw puzzle.

The Italians are sad they don’t get to do the traditional brulee crack with the back of the spoon.
Chew time and Manu commends them on their solution and the flavour of the chai, but his brulee – and Pete’s – wasn’t cooked enough. The ice cream is a fail. “The flavour is not really pleasant,” Manu says.
Jess and Serial Killer both love the dessert and the other teams are suss about her turnaround. I think they’ll be surprised when they watch the show and see Jess was a higher scorer than average for most dishes throughout the competition.

Team scores: Sisters 7; Italians 8; Nev and missus 8; Jess and dude 7: Miners 8
Judges: Entree Pete 9, Manu 9; Main Pete 9, Manu 9; Dessert Pete 5, Manu 6.
Total: A very respectable 85.

And tomorrow night it’s Nev and missus (well, his brother’s former missus, it seems).

Plus, it might be worth recording Better Homes on Friday night because Hat and Sans Hat will be on to reveal how to make their amazing pasta.

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More abs. He felt intimidated by Jess’s plus one and the miner boys.

brain dead dave

A penis pump?


Dave wins.


That works too :).


Ditzy somewhat! I don’t know what sort of marketing JP is involved in, but with a hair cut like that I doubt it’s anything too upmarket!!


Don’t know how to improvise? What about the grill?


Exactly what I thought Littlepetal!! I’m sure I’ve just seen an ad for something coming up with the two miners getting out of a car – so that must mean ducks nuts or Jessica will be gone – wonder if anyone else saw it.

All happening

Last week GBBO’s theme was desserts and one round was creme brulee BUT the bakers had to use the grill to make toffee topping. No guns allowed.


All that sweetness is making me ill.


They are laying it on just a little too thickly, aren’t they?


So apparently Jessica actually loves carbs.

Two nights worth of, “I hate carbs!” must’ve been some kind of weird mass hallucination.

This girl’s *crazy*.


I think you are right, Jessica is a nut case…or whatever the medical term for nut case is as she consistently changes her mind, the carbs is one major example then the inconsistency in her scoring…cause whats his face doesn’t get a look in.. ….she has gone from low scores on previous nights to actually scoring too high at another night….sheesh OR is she a major Game player???


OMG – those steaks are HUGE. I don’t understand the method of cooking the celeriac. Stir fry first, then try to mash?


I know JP and Nelly are another “QLD” team, but I think they’re from Caloundra, my home town here on the Sunshine Coast. When JP was driving around trying to find lighter gas, I recognised the streets. He drove past a bus stop that’s right in front of Caloundra police station, and there was an intersection he drove past which is a couple of blocks down from where I work.


Lovebirds can cook!!!! Miners are in danger of being eliminated. Surely they want to have the Zana -Jessica showdown


Sara – I saw the ad. Miners, curly bro & sis and the italians. It was for the Holden gourmet road trip – promo for the show.


There are some spoilers in various on line ‘news’ stories if you really want to know.


WTF!!!!!! Jessica loved it, it was ‘worthy’ of her calorie intake and then scores a 7. The ‘unworthy’ Italians got a 9 from her – just a tad erratic.
And what’s with the maniacal laugh in the ads


Looks like Nelly can’t function without male input.

Missed the beginning. Are you gice telling me that I missed another not to be missed piece of hosiery.

Jessica is still digging that hole.

brain dead dave

Oh, what a photo. Would that be Nutella or $lutella that Jess is promoting? You decide.

Great work,Maz.


Thanks Juz. It’s just not a good look.


Jess certainly has a … unique sense of style, doesn’t she?


Not sure if anyone else has commented but have any of the contestants already shown had anything other than a white kitchen? Most seem to have kitchens resembling the one in the ad featuring Manu & the DIY TV tradie. The WA couple up next look to have their own kitchen as did the Mother & Son but most of the rest??? I wish I could have such a spacious kitchen with an extra large oven & more than usual number of burners.


Moat of them dont cook in their on homes. They will look for rental properties with hugh kitchen

brain dead dave

I’m getting kinda tired of Je$$ica Rules. How much camera time does she soak up? You can just imagine the patience of ordinary Australians wearing thinner than a cheap condom with every piece of self absorbed drivel that is excreted from Jessica’s under cooked lips.

You have Good Chef , Bad Chef and thanks to Jessica, Completely Anal Carbphobic Chef.

Who’s buying the cheap crawl up Australia’s ar$e routine with the “Oh I like it, so I”ll pretend I’m not a bitch and score highly” act ?


I think Jessica is getting eliminated… firstly with her sense of deprived taste I don’t think her dishes will be edible… and I think she’s already shot herself in the foot and the contestants will find any excuse to dock points and not be nice.

Lovebirds damn well should cook… parents are chefs.. European heritage so they surely should of picked up a thing or two in their time. Lucky I wasn’t in the kitchen with them or their sauce would of been my throw-up… as their lovey dovey overness is making me wretch!


Ok, I thought their cuteness was a tad endearing until I read he was 30 and she was 25. Although, I much prefer them to nasty, bitchy contestants. With regards to the white long socks, in her defense maybe Jessica has had recent surgery.

brain dead dave

Who did the surgery? Dr.Frankenstein?


Snap! I too thought Jess was suffering from DVT when she trotted out the compression socks again. Must be a result of all that interstate flying.
The Lovebirds, were too much for me (cue ‘gagging’ emoticon!!!). Over the top.
‘Needy” Nelly needs to harden up a bit.


OMG That Nutella ad., what was that all about? I will never look at Nutella the same way again. She really is a strange woman.
Did she give any hints when she said she likes raw tuna and beef, I wonder if they will form part of her and menu and salads of course?
She must like those socks or surely she would refuse to wear them.
Then again Sandii and Machook, you could be right, she may have just had her veins done or something else.

Have to agree with you all, the Lovebirds are way too over affectionate for me. Time and place place and most definitely not on TV show.
You can get across that you love and care for each other without having to subject us all to that over the top slop.


BDD – “wearing thinner than a cheap condom” lolol – you’re on fire!


I knew that Nelly reminded me of someone:


Why on earth did JP think that specialist kitchen equipment would be sold at a servo?


Cigarrete lighter refill.


Do they fit into a chef’s torch? I would never have thought of that.

So, did the servos not sell cigarette lighter canisters, or do the cigarette ones not fit? Or were they all just sold out of an item that they usually carry. Not a smoker, so I have no idea.